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The teacup hit the saucer with a clatter, slipping from her paw before she could set it down properly, and if Moominmamma were the sort to curse, she would have.
But it took more than that to make her retreat to the bottom of the garden to yell, so she continued making tea, knowing she was alone in the house with no one else to hear if she clattered a dish or dropped something.
But her paws were getting worse.
Over the past few days her paws had been growing shaky, her legs wobbly, her head dizzy. For someone else she would have prescribed rest, along with a potion from grandmother's book, but there was no time to rest.
There were the meals to be prepared, and dishes to be cleaned, windows washed, linens cleaned, floors to sweep, and a million other small chores to be done.
Moomin House may not have been spotless, but it was clean and welcoming, and it was all thanks to Moominmamma. And she so hated to worry anyone, so she hid how she was feeling and hoped it would pass soon.
Moomin and his father were on a father-son fishing trip, to the lake with the golden fish Snufkin had taken Moomin and his friends to a year or two ago. They wouldn't be back until the day after tomorrow, so there was no one to wonder if her paws shook and she took things just a bit slow today.
She was fine. Mothers didn't have the luxury of being sick. Too many people were depending on her for her to be sick. She could take it easy today, and rest up a little, and she'd be fine.
Moominmamma turned to place the teapot on the tray, intending to take it out on the veranda – the fresh air might help her.
Her paws shook under the familiar weight and the teapot toppled from her paws, shattering on the floor and sending hot tea flying. Moominmamma flinched back with a small cry, her legs saved from a scalding and from the shards of porcelain by her apron.
“Oh dear,” she said softly, swaying faintly, her paws still shaking as she reached for the table.
Perhaps she should have brought this up with someone after all...
Well, she couldn't leave the tea on the floor like that, or all those bits of china, not with all of them in bare paws. Forgetting her shaking paws and wobbling legs, the heavy dizziness in her head, Moominmamma spun to grab a washcloth.
The kitchen spun around her, continuing after she had stopped, and she wobbled. She caught her balance, swaying for a moment. She tried to take a step, intending to sit, wobbling badly again, and paused, a trembling paw raised to her spinning head.
With a little sigh, Moominmamma slid to the floor in a puddle of spilled tea and broken teapot, unfeeling of the shards pressing into her legs or the heat of the tea.
---XXX---
Snufkin pulled in his line. The fish weren't biting today, but it wasn't as irritating as it could have been.
Moomin and Moominpappa were off on a fishing trip, Little My and Snorkmaiden off with Alicia, Ninny, Mymble, and Too-Ticky on some sort of girl's day trip, so Moominmamma had the day off...as much as she was willing to take one.
Standing, Snufkin glanced up at the round blue house. He thought he'd go check up on Moominmamma, maybe tease her into taking a nap in the hammock while Moominpappa wasn't here to monopolize it.
Moominmamma really needed to take a break now and again. Something seemed to interfere nearly every time she tried to.
Even if it meant he had to do a few chores, Snufkin was going to see she took a break today. For all she did for everyone, she deserved one.
Snufkin knocked at the door to the kitchen – he'd been told time and again that he could simply enter, but even after all this time he wasn't quite ready for that most days. After he knocked, he opened the door, calling out for Moominmamma.
And his heart stopped at the sight of Moominmamma collapsed unmoving on the floor.
---XXX---
Snufkin hit the floor, skidding as he threw himself down next to Moominmamma.
Hot tea seeped into Snufkin's trousers as he knelt next to her, shards of china pressing into his knees, both ignored as he frantically felt for her breath, his own coming shaky as he scrambled in panic.
He sagged as he felt her breathing against his paw, felt the steady thrum of her pulse.
He wasn't sure he wanted to, even could, picture a world without Moominmamma in it. But she was alive, it looked worse than it was.
As if in response, she moaned, and he gripped her arm, leaning over her. “Moominmamma? Mamma, can you hear me?”
“S...Snufkin?” she said weakly. “What happened?”
“I don't know. But we need to get you off the floor. Can you stand? I'll help you up,” Snufkin said.
Working together, they managed to get her sitting up, and Snufkin winced at the sight of her legs, the apron and stained by tea and tiny spots of blood from the small cuts made by the shards of what looked to be her oldest teapot, just barely making it through the apron and fur to her skin.
“What's going on?” he asked. “Moominmamma, please,” he said when she didn't answer. “You scolded me for not coming to you when I was sick, don't tell me you did the same thing.”
Moominmamma laughed softly, ruefully. “I've been taking Grandma's recipes,” she said.
“That's not enough without rest,” Snufkin protested, too worried to hold back as he usually would.
“Oh, you're right,” she said. “There was just so much to do...”
“Well, what you're going to do now is tell me what's wrong and get into bed,” Snufkin said firmly.
Slowly they got Moominmamma to her feet, and she leaned heavily on Snufkin as they stumbled to a chair. She fumbled with her apron as Snufkin fetched the first aid kit, lying the apron on the table without folding it.
Snufkin glanced at it in worry as he set down the kit – Moominmamma always folded her apron, no matter the circumstances – and began cleaning the tea and blood from her legs, fear and worry silencing his voice.
“I'm afraid I just got dizzy,” Moominmamma said as Snufkin wrapped bandages around her legs, checking again and again for shards of ceramic in the tiny cuts. They were too small for that, and for the care he was taking, but it kept his paws occupied while she recovered from her swoon.
Finished, he took her paws in his, feeling how they shook, and stared up at her with wide, worried, silently questioning and frightened eyes.
“I suppose it has been getting worse,” she said reluctantly.
He stood, still holding her paws. “You should be in bed,” he said again. “And show me which potion, I'll make you some.”
Snufkin hesitated, then threw his arms around her neck, squeezing tight. “You frightened me,” he whispered. “I walked in and you were just lying there...”
Moominmamma squeezed back as well as she could with her weak paws. “Oh, darling...”
Snufkin pulled back after a moment, wiping quickly at his face. “Bed. And some tea and medicine.”
---XXX---
It was the worst trip up the stairs Moominmamma had ever made, her legs so wobbly she had to lean heavily on Snufkin once again, both of them more than half afraid that she might fall at any moment. They took it slow, so very slowly, one hesitant step at a time.
Moominmamma had never been more grateful to see her bed.
Snufkin settled her into bed, tucking in the covers and helping her to sit up, propped with pillows. “I'll be back up soon. Do you want anything more?”
“Oh, I'd hate to be trouble,” Moominmamma said, sighing again at the look on Snufkin's face. After how she'd fussed over him when he was sick, he wasn't going to let her get away with 'trying not to be trouble'. “Some toast would be lovely, dear.”
Snufkin nodded rapidly. “Don't move, just...try and rest, okay?” he said, backing slowly towards the door.
Moominmamma smiled gently at him. “I will, dear.”
---XXX---
Downstairs in the kitchen, Snufkin braced his paws on the table, taking deep, shuddering breaths.
He was going to be seeing Moominmamma like that in his nightmares, he was sure.
Snufkin's paws shook as he measured out ingredients for the medicine, and he had to stop again, willing them steady.
He'd faced down police, antlions, ghosts and worse with perfectly steady paws, but now, he couldn't seem to stop shaking.
Of all times for everyone to be gone!
After a moment, he started a pot of soup along with the medicine. She'd only asked for toast, but it had felt so good to have something hot in his stomach the last time he'd been sick, maybe...
---XXX---
Moominmamma started coughing about an hour after Snufkin had found her, a persistent, racking cough that shook her entire body despite the tea and toast, soup and medicine.
Snufkin rushed the book upstairs, flipping through rapidly, in a silent panic, as Moominmamma directed him between bouts of coughing.
The ladies returned as Snufkin was brewing up the cough medicine and a second pot of soup, chattering among themselves and calling out as they entered Moomin House, breezy and happy. Ninny and Alicia had set off for their own homes along the way, but there was plenty of noise without them.
Snufkin stuck his head out from the kitchen, shushing them. “Quiet down, Mamma's sick!” he hissed.
There was a beat as the words sank in before he was rushed, backing rapidly into the kitchen as they crowded him, firing off rapid questions in a chaotic clatter.
“Everyone quiet down,” Too-Ticky ordered as Snufkin continued to back up, the spoon he'd been using to stir medicine held up as a flimsy shield. “Snufkin, what's going on?” she asked once everyone was silent.
He wanted to run in the face of all those eyes, demanding answers of him, but the thought of Moominmamma upstairs kept his feet rooted to the floor. “She's dizzy, and her paws are shaking,” he said. “I...she passed out. I found her on the floor in the kitchen. She dropped a teapot when she passed out and landed in the pieces. And now she can't stop coughing, hard. Really hard, until she can't breathe. And she can't stop shaking.”
Too-Ticky stepped forward, rubbing Snufkin's shoulder, her movements clearly signaled. “She's going to get better,” she said firmly, in the no-nonsense way she had.
Snufkin took a deep, shaky breath. Suddenly all the worry and fear of the day, of finding Moominmamma collapsed on the floor, caught up with him.
Mymble stepped closer, and he looked up at his big sister and her girlfriend, unable to stop the question that burst forth. “But what if she doesn't? What are we gonna do if she dies?”
It was embarrassingly close to a wail, even as quiet as it was, and Snufkin collapsed in on himself, paws clasped tightly over his mouth as the four women stared at him in shock, the gravity of it all, how sick Moominmamma must really be, crashing around them to see calm, in control Snufkin breaking down.
Mymble stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, pulling Snufkin in while Too-Ticky patted his shoulder comfortingly. “Ah, finding her like that would be shock for any of us. She's stronger than you give her credit for.”
The potion on the stove began to boil and Snufkin jerked, hurrying to take it off the heat before it could boil over, doing the same for the soup. “You can purr, like your da, can't you?” Too-Ticky asked as Snufkin worked.
Snufkin looked at her blankly, and he wasn't the only one. Too-Ticky chuckled, patting Snufkin again. “Go on, take her up the soup and medicine, and purr for her. Hold her tight and purr. Will help her feel better, if it's in her lungs. And if it's not it still will help. And in the morning, bright and early, Little My and I will go fetch the other Moomins.”
Snufkin nodded, wiping his face off again before placing the full bowl and mug on a tray. “Sorry about that,” he said softly.
“I think I would have broken down much earlier if I'd come and found Moominmamma like that,” Snorkmaiden said, clutching her paws.
Snufkin shook his head, smiling faintly. “You're not giving yourself enough credit. You'd have done like I did, and did what needed done, and broken down later.”
“I'm coming up with you,” she said, lying her paw on Snufkin's. He smiled broader and nodded at her, and together, they headed up the stairs.
“Will she really be all right?” Little My asked once they were out of earshot. Too-Ticky, who had been glancing at the recipe in Grandmother's book and frowning deeply in worry, nodded.
“With all of us looking after her, it will take time, but she could. With a bit of luck and a lot of care, she can make it. We have to believe that and fight for her. Let's get some sleep, we need to rise before the sun in the morning,” Too-Ticky said. She kissed Mymble's cheek, pausing when Mymble pulled her back for a proper kiss before heading to sleep.
---XXX---
Moominmamma was coughing again when Snufkin and Snorkmaiden reached her room, and they rushed inside in a panic at the harsh, hacking, choking sounds.
There was nothing they could do save rub her back and hold her paws, fetching a basin when it seemed the coughing would make her be sick from the sheer force it was putting on her, the strain of trying to breathe and the contractions as she coughed.
Finally it let up, and she gasped for breath, squeezing their paws back as she drew deep, ragged breaths.
Panting, she sipped at the syrup Snufkin had made, digging up a smile for the pair of them.
Remembering what Too-Ticky had said, Snufkin hurried to get his boots off, tossing his hat to the side as he climbed up into the bed and draped himself over Moominmamma, who tried to question what he was doing, but whose laughing question was cut off by another cough.
It took Snufkin a few tries to get himself to purr, as fear and worry kept him tied in knots.
Snorkmaiden hovered, holding Moominmamma's paw, staring in wonder as the purr kicked in from deep in Snufkin's chest – and Moominmamma slowly relaxed under the loving vibrations, her paw finding and resting on Snufkin's back.
“That feels nice,” she murmured, and slipped into sleep.
---XXX---
Moominmamma woke in a rush, jolted awake by the cough's return, the welcome weight and warmth of Snufkin gone from her chest and replaced with the unwelcome weight and pain of strained lungs as she coughed.
Footsteps rushed down the hall, and Snufkin skidded on the floor of the bedroom as he flew in, no traction in his socks. The cup he carried he chugged the last of, fumbling to put it on the table before climbing back onto Moominmamma and hurrying to purr again.
The coughing subsided slowly under that purr and Moominmamma fell back into an exhausted sleep.
---XXX---
Moominmamma couldn't breathe.
She woke in a panic, alone in her room.
It was a knot, a ball in her chest, and she couldn't get air past it.
Her paws were shaking so badly she couldn't hold on to anything, the tray beside the bed clattering to the floor as her paw hit it, the cup rolling across the floor.
There were paws on her then, voices speaking that she couldn't make out through the rising panic, the desperate need for air.
A weight draped across her back, vibrating, the vibrations traveling through her body as steam wafted around her, heat enveloping her in a cloud.
The vibrations felt as though they were making her entire body shake, and something shook loose in her lungs.
And she could breathe again, coughing and coughing, gasping in great drafts of air until she coughed up the phlegm that had choked her, collapsing back into the bed. The vibrating body she now recognized as Snufkin let out a squeak as he was squished between her and the headboard.
Paws helped her to sit up, letting him out, crawling over and around to lay across her.
And wetness soaked into her chest, on her paws as they were held, soft pleas begging her to get better as she slid back into sleep.
---XXX---
Too-Ticky and Little My left while it was still dark, moving as quickly as they could to fetch Moomin and Moominpappa home.
At Moomin House, Snufkin continued to lie on Moominmamma and purr, only taking breaks to drink what he was brought by Snorkmaiden and Mymble and take the quickest bathroom breaks he had ever had in his life, knowing full well if he kept this up he likely was going to be unable to speak for a long time once it was over.
It didn't matter. All that mattered was helping Moominmamma.
And if she wasn't appreciably getting better, her paws still shaky and still dizzy, she wasn't getting worse either.
He didn't dare stop, didn't dare leave unless he had no choice. He'd done that twice in the night, for a drink and to use the bathroom, thinking she would be all right for just a few minutes to rest, and both times Mamma had paid for it.
---XXX---
It was late when the two Moomins and Too-Ticky and Little My made it back to Moomin House, taking the last of the trip at a run.
They flung open the door, startling Snorkmaiden so badly she nearly dropped Moominmamma's latest batch of medicine.
She hurried to tell them everything as they raced upstairs, flinging open the door to the Moominmamma's room.
She was half asleep in bed with Snufkin lying across her, his smock draped across the foot of the bed and barely conscious himself.
Too-Ticky had told them what Snufkin was doing, but it was still a bit of a shock to see.
Moominpappa sat next to Moominmamma, his paw briefly running through the exhausted Snufkin's hair reassuringly, gratefully, before he took Moominmamma's paw in both of his, gazing at her searchingly as he held her paw up to his face.
She smiled at him weakly, too tired to speak with words though her eyes spoke volumes.
And through it all, though nearly unconscious himself, Snufkin purred.
---XXX---
It took two weeks for Moominmamma to fully recover.
She was able to get up by the end of the first, but only to downstairs, out to the veranda for fresh air.
The coughing eased after two more days, a long day and a half of continuous purring for Snufkin, who could no longer make a sound by the middle of the third day and had to hear her cough and be unable to do anything about it.
He leaned against her as she sat on the veranda, her paw running through his hair, not yet reassured enough of her recovery to let her out of his sight while Moomin fussed over them both.
The last time he did, she nearly died...at least, that was what it had sounded like, and that sound, along with finding her on the kitchen floor, were going to haunt his nightmares. How close it had actually been they might never know, but it was far, far too close.
But with each day, she was stronger, her paws steadier, her breathing clearer. And, she promised, next time she would take her own advice and say something earlier.
With time, she would be fine. With time, they'd be able to let her out of their sight, sure that she would still be all right when they returned.
The second would take longer than the first, but time they had. Time, and patience, and love enough to heal the invisible wounds the fright had left them all.