Chapter Text
Reggie drew herself up to her full height after passing out pool noodles. This did not inspire much confidence in her companions.
Esther held the pool noodle at arm’s length, as though it was an angry venomous snake. Brown Roger chittered nervously.
“What’s the purpose of this game?” Gwen asked.
“Is this a game?” Todd muttered.
“Yeah! C’mon, guys, it’ll be fun! Trust me!” Reggie said confidently. “First, we joust with them to determine the winners. Don’t hold back—I mean you, Eve!”
The Butt Witch looked at her pool noodle, then looked at Reggie. “When have I ever held back when it comes to inflicting violence on children?”
Gwen and Reggie chuckled. Todd, Esther, and Brown Roger pointedly did not. Gwen stopped chuckling when Butt Witch turned a toothy grin to her.
“Where did you guys meet her, again?” She whispered to Todd.
“We accidentally summoned her from a volcano, and she spent months trying to destroy us.” Todd whispered back.
“Why is she here for the Best Friend Brawl?” Gwen whispered more urgently, beginning to eye the competition. Brown Roger was now hissing at Todd, ready for battle.
“We don’t have that many friends, and most of ‘em are here on Endless. Besides, she’s Esther’s pick. I guess after the weird week when they were missing, Butt Witch made friends with her?”
“Todd, Gwen, if you guys don’t pay attention to the rules, I’m not going over them again!” Reggie called.
“Um, how are we going to joust?” Gwen asked.
“Well, one of you is gonna be the horse, and one of you is gonna be the knight. …Todd’s prolly gonna be the horse, since he can shapeshift and stuff.”
“Then why is it necessary for the vessels to have pool noodles?” Butt Witch asked.
“So that you can use them to skate across the volcano together—duh!” Reggie said. “It’s super hot today.”
“And then what?” Esther asked.
“You try to feed your pool noodles—what’s left of ‘em, anyway—to Colin.” Reggie said offhandedly. “Obviously, whoever wins the joust has a head start on the volcano, and whoever gets across the volcano fastest gets an extra pool noodle so they’re not disqualified if they melt.”
“And what do we get for winning this?” Todd asked.
Reggie puffed out her chest. “You get to say that you’re the most awesome pair of best friends on Endless.”
Brown Roger drew his pool noodle across his neck, making prolonged eye contact with Todd. Todd gulped.
“Like I said guys, it’ll be fun! Trust me!” Reggie said. This appeared to be the words to start, as Brown Roger ran for her and climbed onto her shoulders, wielding both pool noodles. The Butt Witch shifted into her monster form, and Esther sat on her back. “To war!” The Butt Witch snarled, charging Reggie.
“Woo!” Reggie yelled. “Get her, Brown Roger! Winner fights Todd and Gwen!”
Unsurprisingly, Butt Witch and Esther won against Reggie and Brown Roger, but it was harder in a fair fight.
Todd and Gwen just barely won.
They proceeded to the volcano—Todd and Gwen got to go across first, followed by Esther and the Butt Witch, and finally Reggie and Brown Roger. Pretty Please was a neutral judge with a stopwatch.
Gwen was not accustomed to pool noodles under her feet, and nearly dropped herself into the lava a few times. She and Todd only got across because her power involved force fields. Her suit was still burned, though.
Esther balanced on top of Butt Witch’s shoulders, trying to create a flying ball under the pool noodles. It did not work at all, and they were nearly sprawled into the lava. The only thing that saved them was the fact that the Butt Witch was impervious to it.
“Aw, what! That’s cheating!” Reggie called from the other end.
“You never specified.” Butt Witch smirked, holding two mostly good pool noodles up.
Reggie had been practicing, and got across the volcano the quickest, even if her pool noodles were somewhat destroyed. “Flaps, hit me!” She called upon reaching the other side.
She was given another pool noodle.
Colin was waiting, and what mattered here most was Colin being given the most to eat. Here, Esther and the Butt Witch won.
“Ha ha! We beat the final challenge—bow before me!” Butt Witch cackled.
Esther high-fived her tentatively.
“Good game, guys. Looks like we all won something.” Gwen said.
“Yeah, I guess we’re all the most awesome best friends on Endless, or whatever.” Todd said.
“Sore losers.” Butt Witch muttered. “We won.”
“Yeah!” Reggie said, ignoring her. “Told you it’d be fun!”
“We nearly died.” Gwen said, eying Colin speculatively as he ate and ate.
“Yeah, but we didn’t.” Reggie replied. “You know why? ‘Cause we’re best friends.”
“Eugh.” Butt Witch said, though she didn’t deny it, and she didn’t shy away when Reggie pulled them all in for a group hug.