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With each quiet step Lapis felt her feet sink into the soft sand of the beach. The salty tang of the ocean was all she could smell, the sound of its crashing waves filling her ears. Ahead of her stretched nothing but miles of open water, its choppy surface dyed orange by the fading light of sunset.
The sun warmed her face and hair as she stood there, letting a light breeze flutter her skirt, feeling the sand between her toes. A tiny smile crossed her face as she closed her eyes. Earth still felt unfamiliar and unwelcoming to her. But perhaps, in its own way, the sunset was beautiful.
The warmth began to fade as the world darkened around her. She stood there for a while longer, simply basking in the sound of the waves breaking against the shore. But the sound was growing quieter and quieter until it had stopped completely.
A droplet of icy water splashed against her cheek.
Her eyes snapped open. The sun had not set; she could still see the light streaming around the edges of the massive wave that stood poised above her, casting her into its shadow. Instantly Lapis raised a hand to force the water back down where it belonged. It barely twitched at her attempts to manipulate it.
Warily Lapis retreated a few steps, only to find herself bumping into the cliff. Had it drawn closer or had she been further from the ocean than she thought? But the rocky wall was firm against her back now, trapping her in place as the wave curved slowly down toward her.
“… Lazuli…”
The all-too-familiar voice whispering from within the water’s depths sent chills up her spine. She turned her head, seeking an escape route, but both sides were now blocked by the approaching mass of water. Even the sky was no longer an option as the wave loomed overhead and blotted out her view of the darkening clouds.
“… Fuse with me again, Lazuli…”
“No!” she cried out forcefully, turning her head away as more droplets splashed against her face and arms. The drops became trickles and then torrents, streaming down over the sand around her as the wave began to lose its form and collapse. It was going to engulf her - and when it did, she would be able to trap her again. She had to get away.
A feeble beam of sunlight struck Lapis and she gasped, turning her head skyward. There was an opening. At once her wings erupted from her gem and she swept them down hard, launching her into the sky. The wave rushed past and then she was above it, still rising ever higher even as she turned to fly away in the direction of the barn. Home. I need to get home.
Icy fingers closed around both of her wrists and she found herself abruptly jerked backward. She glanced down and choked back a cry of fear at the sight of the watery hands that had clamped tightly around her arms. Under her gaze they transformed themselves into manacles, trailing chains which were pulled taut between their captive and the unstable mass of water from which she had been struggling to escape. Her breathing was shallow and eyes wild with terror as she fought harder, her wings straining against the pressure holding her back. Her shoulders were in agony and her breath came in ragged gasps as she poured every shred of energy she had into fighting against the chains.
But it was not enough. Slowly, one inch at a time, she was losing height. The chains were retreating into the water and dragging her with them.
“No!” she screamed in panic. Her feet kicked uselessly at the air as her wings beat furiously, scattering droplets of water around her. “I won’t go back! Steven! Peridot! Help! I don’t want to fuse! I won’t!”
“… You will fuse with me…”
Suddenly her wings were gone. Before she knew it she was falling, her body twisting in the air as she made one last futile effort to throw off the manacles. But then she hit the water and darkness closed around her, broken only by the glow of the gem upon her back. And another source of light within the depths, illuminating the leering face that surrounded it as it drew steadily closer.
“No!”
The dream dissolved as Lapis jolted upright, her wings immediately bursting from her back. Her chest was heaving as her eyes swept over her surroundings in a panic. She was no longer enclosed within a threatening mass of black seawater, but sheltered safely within the walls of her home. The light was not coming from a gem but from moonlight spilling through the open doors, illuminating several of their meepmorps and casting dark shadows across the floor. She was not floating but swinging lightly from side to side in her hammock. And the sudden movement that nearly startled her into the air a moment later was not the face from her nightmare, but that of her roommate who had sat up to gaze back at her in concern.
Lapis’ feet hit the floor and in an instant she was airborne, swooping out through the open doors before Peridot could say a word.
The first streaks of pink were beginning to creep across the horizon when Lapis heard quiet footsteps crossing the roof toward her. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she rested her head upon her arms. She was in no mood to talk but was too emotionally drained to care about finding a new spot to sit. She had cried earlier, desperate wracking sobs that had shaken her entire body and left her exhausted, although now her eyes were dry and the storm inside her had quieted.
Perhaps that was the reason Peridot had left her alone for so long. But if the other gem had heard the emotional outburst, she made no mention of it as she settled herself on the rooftop nearby. For a moment she was silent, her eyes flickering between the landscape below and the hunched form of her clearly unhappy friend, before she spoke up in a low voice.
“I’ve had nightmares too.”
“Don’t pretend you understand how I feel,” Lapis responded coldly. “For so much of my life I’ve been trapped. Trapped in a mirror. Trapped with you on that ship. Trapped under the ocean. You don’t know what it was like for me.”
A heavy silence followed her words. Lapis sighed and glanced toward her roommate, who was sitting several feet away and looked as though she wished she had not spoken. “I’m sorry. I just… It’s weighing on my mind.”
Peridot shifted slightly closer. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t understand. I still have a lot to learn. But I do know what it’s like to be trapped.”
“You do?”
“Maybe it’s not the same,” Peridot continued quietly, now gazing at her knees rather than at Lapis, “but I felt trapped here on Earth before the Crystal Gems captured me. No matter how hard I tried to escape they foiled my every attempt. I was terrified that I wouldn’t make it off the planet before the Cluster emerged. It made me desperate and careless.”
Lapis could definitely relate to feeling trapped on Earth, she thought to herself. The memory of being stuck upon the ground, straining toward the sky but unable to take flight with a cracked gem, caused her to squeeze her eyes shut. Maybe she would have been better off if she had never tried to go home.
“Being on that ship wasn’t fun for me either,” Peridot added quietly.
“But you weren’t a prisoner. You were working with…”
Jasper. The name hung unspoken in the air, but both of them understood without it needing to be said.
Peridot drew a breath and released it, turning her gaze toward the horizon. “I hated working with her. We worked together more than once previously. When I realized she was going to be my escort for the mission to Earth… I would have taken anyone else. Any Quartz soldier at all except for her.”
“Did she ever…?”
“Hurt me?” Peridot finished grimly. “Yes.”
Lapis thought back to when the ship had reached Earth. She remembered seeing the weapon in Jasper’s hand, remembered not quite understanding what it was but knowing it was bad. She remembered the way Peridot had recoiled from the sight of her holding it as though it was especially dangerous in her hands. “The Gem Destabilizer…”
A shiver ran through Peridot’s frame and she nodded mutely.
This time Lapis was the one to scoot closer. Maybe life had not been easy even for gems who fit into Homeworld society, she realized. After all, if Peridot had joined the Crystal Gems she must feel more at home here on Earth. “Are your nightmares about her too?”
“Among other things.”
“Such as?” Lapis pressed.
“The Cluster. Yellow Diamond sending gem soldiers after me. One of my friends being shattered.”
Her arms tightened around her knees. Watching her, Lapis suddenly felt a wave of sympathy for her friend. Perhaps her fears were different, perhaps they were rooted more in what could happen rather than what already had, but they mattered as well. Both of them understood what it was like to be afraid.
“Good thing we don’t need to sleep,” Lapis commented quietly. She didn’t want to be constantly reminded of her fears. The past was over and the future had yet to come; what mattered was right now, where they were safe and free. Where they could rely on each other and the rest of the Crystal Gems.
A light breeze ruffled their hair as they sat together. Lapis was staring up at the clouds overhead, but after a moment she uncurled from her hunched position and turned her body toward her friend. “Hey, Peri?”
“What?”
“Do you want to watch some more Camp Pining Hearts?”
Peridot’s expression brightened instantly, all thoughts of her nightmares and anxieties forgotten. “Do I? I’ll put on the next episode now!” She sprang upright and the first rays of sunlight fell across her face, causing her to shield her eyes with one hand as she crossed quickly to the edge of the roof. “Don’t stay up here too long!” she called out behind her.
The darkness of night had retreated from the land as the sky slowly shifted from black to bright blue, stained with hues of pink and orange at the horizon. Lapis rose to her feet more slowly and lingered there for a moment, basking in the warmth of the light that washed over her. She drew a deep breath of the morning air and released it slowly, letting go of her worries as she exhaled, allowing the coming morning to banish the darkness in her thoughts.
Perhaps, in its own way, the sunrise was beautiful.