Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Casey frowns in concentration as he does his paperwork, squishing the gray and yellow stim toy in his hand.

It was one of his first stim toys he had ever gotten (Besides the random paperclip contraptions he had made in school) and he had had it for around five years at this point. Severide had gotten the gray and squishy bear for him as part of his birthday gift after he had caught Casey fiddling with a few different things.

Casey had been ecstatic. He hadn’t realized there were things like this that he could use or even was allowed to use. Since then, he had built up an arsenal of stim toys and he stimmed a lot more.

His crew had been a bit confused when their lieutenant had started flapping his hands after opening his Christmas gift but everyone had accepted it eventually and had even started to make jokes about it.

Casey grins as he remembers the first time Otis had joked around about his stimming. Severide had just told Casey about his plans to take him to the trampoline park for his birthday, causing the truck lieutenant to start flapping his arms out of excitement.

“Careful lieutenant, you might fly away,” Otis had said, grinning. All the conversations had immediately stopped, everyone looking at Casey to see how he’d react. Casey had snorted in amusement and everything had gone back to normal, the jokes and teasing getting more frequent. Casey had found the joking refreshing as it was all in good taste and he was just happy nobody was walking on eggshells around him.

Chapter Text

Casey sighs as he rubs the soft fabric of his blanket between his fingers. They had just gotten back from a tough call that had ended with everyone cold, cranky and wet and now Casey was sitting on his bed, wrapped in the fluffy red blanket Cindy had gotten him after another near death experience.

Chapter Text

“Hey Captain! Come see what Annabelle made you!” Herrmann calls. Casey raises his eyebrows but comes over. Herrmann hands him a small plastic container and, when Casey frowns in confusion, explains. “There’s a kid in her grade who’s autistic and she loves the stuff so Annabelle asked her to show her how to make it so she could make it for you. It’s called slime.”

Casey nods and opens the container to reveal green, glittery slime. Hesitantly Casey poked a finger into it. As soon as his finger touches it, his entire body shudders and he hurries to rub his finger on the fleece of his jacket to banish the terrible sensation.

“I’ll take it that’s a no,” Herrmann says.

“Tell her I loved it,” Casey tells him and Herrmann nods. Severide comes over to see what all the fuss is about and Herrmann hands him the container. Severide takes the slime out and plays with it for a few minutes, mesmerized by it.

“I think we found a new owner for it,” Casey remarks, watching Severide dropping it through his hands.

“I’d say.”

Chapter Text

Casey frowns in concentration, chewing on the end of his pen, when there’s a knock on the door. He glances up to see Severide standing there.

“Come in!” He calls.

Severide opens the door and throws something at him. Casey fumbles to catch the small rubber object and when he looks up again, Severide’s gone. Casey shrugs, inspecting the object. It looks like a rubber lion and there’s a hole on the bottom, clearly meant to go on a pen or a pencil. With a small grin, Casey sticks it on the top of his pen, chewing on it instead of the hard plastic cap.

Chapter Text

Severide had known that today was going to be a rough day for Casey when the blond had shown up ten minutes late and soaking wet. Being called into Boden’s office certainly hadn’t helped matters and now Severide was sure that a meltdown was in the near future.

“Hey Case. You doing ok?” Severide had asked quietly, plopping down on the couch beside his best friend. He had seen Casey rocking himself slowly while watching tv and had heard the high keening noise that usually accompanied meltdowns.

Casey doesn’t acknowledge him and instead rocks himself faster, slipping his hands over his ears.

Severide exchanges a look with Herrmann and motions for him to grab Casey’s weighted blanket from his office. Herrmann nods and heads for Casey’s office, returning a few seconds later with Casey’s dark blue weighted blanket and the small police bear that Antonio had gotten him. Severide grabs the blanket and stuffy from the other lieutenant and quickly covers the distressed captain with it, putting the stuffed police bear into his lap.

“What’s going on?” The new candidate, Michael Farfield, asks, plopping down on the couch beside Casey. Casey starts rocking faster at the intruding voice, banging his head against the back of the couch. “Jesus Christ. Is he a retard or something?”

“Hey! You say that word again and I can assure you you won’t speak again,” Severide threatens, standing up.

“Well he is retarded, isn’t he? Why else would he be freaking out like this?” Farfield asks, pointing to Casey.

“Get him out of here,” Severide snaps. Herrmann nods and grabs the candidate by the arm, dragging him into the bunk room. The rest of the crew follows, casting a worried glance behind at Casey, before heading into the bunk room.

Severide sits there with Casey for a few minutes until the meltdown dies down, his rocking slowing and the keening stopping.

“Better now?” Severide asks, wrapping his arms around Casey as be rocks slowly.

Severide looks up to see Boden standing behind the couch. Casey, sensing something was wrong, fights to get the blanket off his head and looks up to see Boden standing there.

“Just so you know, Farfield won’t be coming back,” Boden says, ignoring the way Casey’s eyes dropped, ashamed at himself.

Casey looks towards Severide and signs something, Boden only catching bits and pieces of it.

“Hey, it’s not your fault,” Severide tells him, firmly. “The candidate was an ass and he should have minded his own business.”

Casey nods although he doesn’t look convinced, tears starting to leak from his eyes.

Boden walks around the side of the couch and spreads his arms slightly, silently asking permission to hug the captain. Casey hesitates before nodding once and Boden wraps his arms around him, squeezing tightly. Casey doesn’t reciprocate the hug, his arms still trapped under the blanket, but he does lean into it and Severide takes that as a good sign.

Boden pulls back after a few seconds, just as the rest of the crew enters the room again, the candidate trailing behind.

“Hey Captain. We found the other bear,” Cruz calls, tossing the firefighter bear over.

Severide catches it with one hand and goes to drops it into Casey lap, pausing when he hears the candidate mumble “retard” under his breath. Without thinking, Severide turns and hurls the bear at the candidates face, hitting his target with enough force that the man groans.

Otis grabs the bear from the floor and passes it back to Severide who drops it back into Casey’s lap with the police bear. Casey looks up at Severide and signs something, causing Severide to laugh.

“Yeah, I know.”

Chapter Text

Casey closes his hand around his squishy brain toy, one he had gotten from the med the first time he had gone. He had been around twelve when he had fallen off his bike and broken his leg. He had been really nervous at the hospital and the nurse had given him the brain to squish while they took x rays and did some tests.

When he had tried to give it back afterwards, she had insisted he keep it as they had hundreds. It had soon became a fixture in his life, helping him concentrate in school and keeping him calm when his parents were arguing. It even helped him after Andy had died, the rips in the foam proof that he had taken his anger at Severide and himself out on the toy.

With another squeeze, he gets back to work.

Chapter Text

“You ready?”

Casey looks up at Severide’s question, zipping his duffle bag closed.

“Yeah.”

“You’ve got your knife?” Severide asks, eyeing the pocket knife on the dresser.

“Yeah. I packed it yesterday.”

“Are you sure?”

Casey nods, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

“Want to check?”

“Nope.”

“Ok,” Severide says, grabbing the knife and slipping it into his pocket when Casey’s back is turned.

~~~

Three hours later, they were in Severide’s car with Boden, ready for their first fishing trip together. Severide was driving with Boden beside him and Casey in the back with the snacks. Their fishing gear and bags were in the trunk along with some extra blankets.

Boden and Severide were in the middle of a conversation about Terrance when there’s a distressed shout from the back.

“Sev! I forgot my knife! We have to go back!”

Boden goes to say something about not being able to turn back now when Severide holds up a hand.

“I’ve got it, Case.”

“Oh. Thanks,” Casey says, relaxing immediately.

There’s a few seconds of silence before Casey pipes up again.

“Can I have it?”

With a grin, Severide tosses it back to Casey.

Chapter Text

Casey leans against the edge of the counter, rocking slightly on the balls of his feet as he sips his hot chocolate and watches his team interacting. There had been some tension between the members of truck and squad after the new candidate had messed up with the hose a few shifts ago. The candidates mistake had resulted in Casey and Severide being knocked into the river and both companies had had to stay at the scene for another few hours.

“Well if Shevvy hadn’t fucked up with the hose, this wouldn’t have happened!”

Casey turns his attention back to his team after Herrmann’s shout.

“It was an accident, Herrmann! And might I mention that you’ve fucked up countless other times!” Kidd yells back.

Casey sighs, setting his coffee down and heading over to break up the argument before it gets physical.

“Hey!” He calls, raising his voice slightly to get their attention. Rocking on the balls of his feet again, he glares at both Kidd and Herrmann. “I thought I said this conversation was over! The candidate fucked up but so have all of you! Do I have to remind you of that time Herrmann dropped the halligan off the side of the building and almost killed Cruz? Or when Otis almost drove the truck into the grocery store? Of when Kidd broke her hand trying to open a door? We all fuck up so let it go. That’s an order.”

His speech finished, Casey turns on his heel and leaves the kitchen, heading towards the apparatus floor.

Chapter Text

Casey frowns in concentration as he studies the crossword clues. Without realizing it, he starts chewing on the inside of his lip, causing blood to start dripping down the side of his mouth.

“Casey! Stop chewing your lip,” Severide tells him, seeing the blood.

Casey wipes the blood away with the back of his sleeve and continues his crossword.

“Lip,” Severide says a few minutes later and again Casey wipes away the blood and continues his puzzle.

“Hey Captain! Catch!” Otis shouts, tossing a lollipop at the truck captain.

Casey nods his thanks, unwrapping the lollipop and sticking it in his mouth.

That was the last time he bit his lip. At least at the station.

Chapter Text

Casey hums as he finishes his laundry, the vibrating sound comforting him. He folds a particularly large shirt and frowns, unfolding it again.

“That’s not mine…” he mutters, throwing it into the lost clothes basket and continuing his own folding, humming to himself.

Chapter Text

“We are proud to present our very own Captain Casey with this award!”

Casey wiggles his toes in his boots, resisting the urge to start flapping. Even though his crew was more than ok with it, the higher ups in the CFD weren’t. If his flapping was caught by the press, he would definitely be in trouble.

He was so focused on not flapping that he lost focus on the rest of the ceremony.

“Ahem. Captain Casey,” the district chief says again, glaring daggers at Casey as he makes his way up to receive his award.

~~~

After then ceremony ends, Casey makes his way over to Severide, flapping his arms until they hurt. Severide quickly takes the plaque, not wanting it to be launched while the captain was flapping. After a few minutes of flapping, Casey turns aroud to go find Boden, only to come face to face with one of the presses camera’s.

Casey stops flapping, horrorfied as he realizes what had just happened.

“Casey?” Severide calls, watching as Casey takes off, running back into the station. He makes it to the bunkroom before he breaks down completely, sobbing and rocking himself.

Boden finds him before Severide does and sits on the ground beside Casey as he rocks.

“What’s going on?” Boden asks.

“I was flapping and the press saw and their going to fire me and I won’t be able to-,” Casey starts, cutting himself off with another sob as he starts breathing faster, practically hyperventilating.

“Hey, calm down, Casey. Focus on breathing,” Boden tells him, exaggerating his own breathing.

It takes a few minutes but Casey’s breathing finally returns to normal and they’re able to talk.

“Do you really think I’d let them fire you?” Boden asks, putting a hand on Casey’s back. Casey shakes his head, sniffling.

“Don’t worry, Captain. You aren’t going anywhere,” Boden says, pulling Casey into a hug.

~~~

The next day, Casey’s flapping is on tv, right up until the point that he turns towards the camera and stares at it in horror. Social media had been going crazy about it and thankfully, most of the comments were supportive.

LastOfTheWeirdOnes had written: Glad to see a fellow flapper! Hope all is well!

MytWoLastBrAincElls had written: Flappity flap!

Autissy had written: Flappy hands are happy hands! Congrats on the award!

LilaYoung had written: Haha he seems excited!

Iregrettithespagetti had written: Way to go dude!

ISwearI’mSane had written: Is he autistic? He reminds me of my big sister…

AshshsjsklelskkmaSendHalppp had written: How many flaps can a firefighter flap if a firefighter could flap flaps?

All in all, everything had gone pretty well, considering how bad the media could have turned it.

Chapter Text

Cruz had noticed Casey rocking himself slightly as he barks out orders, the blond obviously struggling to hold it together. The orders cut off suddenly and Cruz turns to see a lieutenant from another station heading towards Casey who was now rocking back and forth, his arms wrapped around himself.

The lieutenant puts his hand on Casey’s shoulder, about to ask if the captain was ok, and that’s the last straw. Cruz watches as Casey takes off, leaving the other lieutenant standing there, shocked.

Severide looks up and upon seeing Casey running off, chases after him, tackling him to the ground and lying on top of him. Casey struggles to get free, bucking and jerking to try and get Severide off of him. Severide holds on, whispering something to Casey as he struggles to hold the captain down.

Boden takes over for both the officers, barking orders just as easily. Cruz hurries to get the jaws to help free the lady from one of the pinned cars and the next time he looks back, about fifteen minutes later, Severide was still lying on top of Casey. The captain in question had stopped struggling as much, instead lying still on the ground.

A few minutes after that, Severide finally lets Casey up, wrapping his arms around the blond as he rocks.

Chapter Text

Casey clicks his pen repeatedly as he tries to find a fitting answer for his crossword puzzle.

“Case,” Severide says, nudging Casey’s arm.

“Hmm?”

“That’s annoying,” he tells him. Casey nods, not taking any offence. He knew that he often had trouble noticing if somebody was bothered by him and Severide letting him know was pretty useful.

“Sorry.”

The silence doesn’t last long because the clicking starts up again.

“Case.”

“Right.”

More clicking.

“I’m confiscating that,” Severide says, grabbing Casey pen and replacing it with a capped pen.

Chapter Text

When they had first found out that Casey liked pressure was when the blond was still a candidate. They had been at a call and while Casey was still slightly new to all this, he was far from inexperienced.

They had pulled up to the house fire and their lieutenant had immediately started barking orders.

“Herrmann! Mouch! Hose! Figgins! Avis! Vent to roof! Candidate, you’re with me!”

Everyone had hurried to complete their given tasks and Casey runs after his lieutenant.

It was around half an hour later, ten minutes after they had come out of the fire when Casey had first started realizing something was wrong. Everything was too loud and the smell of smoke was too strong and nobody would stop talking! Before he fully realizes what he’s doing, Casey starts rocking back and forth on the floor, covering his ears and squeezing his eyes tight.

“Candidate! We’re going in again!” Lieutenant Gordon shouts.

Casey’s two far gone at this point, unable to do more than flinch at the sudden, loud noise, his head smacking the side of the rig with every rock.

“Hey! Candidate! Get up!” The Lieutenant shouts, toeing Casey with his boot. Casey whines, keening as he rocks.

“What the fuck? Chief! Candidates freaking out!”

Boden comes over, looking at Casey as he rocks, not quite sure what to do about the candidate.

“Casey?” Boden calls softly, crouching down beside him. Casey flinches away, hands coverin his ears as much as possible.

“Is this like a PTSD thing, chief? What’s wrong with him?” Gordon asks.

“I don’t know…”

“He’s hitting his head, should we like…. do something about that?” Gordon wonders, scratching his neck.

Thankfully the two of them are saved by a bystander running over.

“Ma’am, you have to stay back,” Boden warns him.

The woman ignores them, crouching down beside Casey and taking a pair of big, bulky headphones out of her bag. She carefully prys Casey hands from his ears and slips the headphones over his ears. The relief is immediate and Casey relaxes, though he keeps rocking.

Gordon and Boden watch in awe as the lady pulls out a weirdly thick blanket and drapes it over Casey. The lady sits down beside Casey as the rocking starts to die down and Casey stills, leaning against the truck and shaking.

“What the hell did you just do?” Gordon asks, causing the woman to look up, having forgotten they were there. Casey looks up two and upon seeing his lieutenant and his chief, starts shaking, a sob bubbling up in his throat.

“He’s autistic, isn’t he?” The lady asks, looking to Casey for an answer. Casey nods slowly, not taking his eyes off of Gordon and Boden, trying to figure out how they were going to react.

“And you didn’t think to mention this?!” Gordon snaps, grabbing Casey by the collar and hoisting him up, slamming him against the truck. “Say something!”

“Hey! Enough!” Boden shouts, trying to free Casey from the lieutenants grip.

“He’s fucking autistic! I am not having a retaded firefighter on my team!”

“That’s fair. Please make sure to pack up when we get back to the station,” Boden says, leaving Gordon behind to sputter in disbelief.

Chapter Text

“Hey Case! Happy Halloween!” Severide calls, tossing a squishy orange pumpkin at him. Casey catches it in one hand and throws something back at Severide with the other.

“Thanks,” Severide says, holding the full size Snickers up.

Chapter Text

“Captain!”

Casey looks up at Kidd’s call only to get hit in the face with a small, stuffed, purple bat. Immediately he tosses back a Kitkat and Kidd fumbles to catch it.

Chapter Text

“Hey Captain! Come check this out!” Herrmann calls, motioning to the tv.

Casey heads over, taking a seat on the arm of the couch as Herrmann presses play on a YouTube video of somebody mixing yellow glitter into a thing of bright red slime. Casey stares, transfixed, until the video ends, three minutes later.

“Thoughts?” Herrmann asks, looking at Casey.

“That’s awesome.”

Chapter Text

Casey sits at the table, doing his crossword and subconsciously rubbing his fingers over the CFD patch on his jacket.

“Four letter word for anger,” he calls out.

“Rage.”

Chapter Text

Casey sighs running his fingers over the newest addition to his stim toy stash. Severide had gifted him a large tactile spinning pyramid for his birthday. One side was covered in little bristles andCasey sighs running his fingers over the newest addition to his stim toy stash. Severide had gifted him a large tactile spinning pyramid for his birthday. One side was covered in little bristles and another had plastic spikes. The last side was covered in buttons and knobs and toggles and all sorts of contraptions.

With a final spin of the pyramid, Casey turns back to his paperwork, his fingers still tracing the shape on his desk.

Chapter Text

With an annoyed huff, Casey shuffles through his drawer, looking for paperclips. Otis and Kidd had been at each other's throats again, so much that he had given up on dealing with it, instead choosing to hide away in his office with his unfinished paperwork.

He finally finds the small plastic container he had put them in, the original box being too smooth for his liking. He takes a handful out, piling them on his desk. Grabbing one of the paperclips and the two sheets of his incident report, Casey clips them together.

Reaching into the pile again, he pulls out a string of three. An idea forming in his mind, Casey adds a few others to the string. He starts twirling it in between his fingers, grinning. He starts twirling it faster and faster until it suddenly flies up, hitting him in the face.

“Oomph!”

Chapter Text

“Hey Captain! Come check this out!”

Casey looks up from his coffee at Cruz’s call, raising an eyebrow before heading over.

“What’s up?” He asks, peering over Cruz’s shoulder to see his laptop.

“There’s this website I found. It’s called Autism Speaks.”

Severide watches as Casey visibly flinches at the name. Narrowing his eyes in suspicion, the squad lieutenant watches, ready to step in if need be.

“Autism Speaks, huh?” Casey asks, his voice wavering slightly.

“Yeah. And look. They say there’s treatments available,” Cruz says, looking up to Casey. “They can fix you, Captain!”

Severide watches as a devastated look flashes across the captain’s face but it quickly disappears, his stoic mask going right back up.

The captain gives a little chuckle before nodding and returning to his office.

Severide stands up, stalking over towards the group of firefighters. He grabs Cruz’s laptop, ignoring his shouts of protest.

“What is this crap? Treatments for autism?”

“Yeah! Isn’t it great? They can fix Casey!”

Narrowing his eyes, Severide looks at Cruz. “Cruz, I found some treatments for being black. You interested?”

Immediately, Cruz gapes at his lieutenant, stunned and outraged. The rest of the firefighters jump up immediately, shocked that Severide would say something so horribly racist.

“What the hell?!” Cruz manages to get out. “You want to cure my skin colour?! What is wrong with you?”

“He doesn’t need to be cured!” Herrmann snaps, standing up.

“And neither does Casey. You just proved my point.”

“Casey’s different,” Herrmann protests.

“How? How is wanting to cure his autism different than wanting to cure Cruz’s skin colour? Or the candidate’s sexuality?”

“Because that’s part of who we are! Casey’s autism is just a condition. Like diabetes or the flu or cancer or something. Just look at this,” Cruz tells him, still glaring at him.

He presses play on a video called “I Am Autism” and Severide watches in horror as the video goes on to describe autism as a life sucking monster. By the end, he feels physically sick.

Turning towards the group of firefighters gathered around the screen, he glares at him.

“You know what, we’re going to do an activity. I want all of you to make a list of three things you like about Casey. And pass it to me. With no name on it.”

The crew looks confused but does it anyways and soon enough Severide has ten papers in his hand. He starts reading them out loud.

“Generous, smart, his cooking. Protective, good cook, funny. Loyal, smart, understanding. Selfless, funny, good cook. Generous, funny, cooking. Protective, kind, his cooking. Funny, nice, loyal. Understanding, prepared, smart. Helpful, kind, funny. Thoughtful, generous, good at cooking.”

After reading the papers out loud, Severide looks around the group surveying their reactions.

“His cooking skills were mentioned a lot. Cooking is one of his special interests or hyperfixations. Only autistic people or people with ADHD or similar disorders have hyperfixations. If he wasn’t autistic, Casey wouldn’t be as excited about cooking and he wouldn’t be as good at it. Another thing that popped up a lot was his intelligence. High intelligence is common in people with autism. As for his loyalty and protectiveness, he has a lot of trouble making and keeping friends so he’s very protective over the ones he does have. All of these things you love about him are, for the most part, because of his autism. ‘Curing’ or ‘treating’ his autism would greatly affect the person he is.”

The group is silent after the explanation, obviously thinking deeply about what they just learned. Deciding to add one last thing for them to think about, Severide continues.

“How would you feel if somebody told you they could ‘fix’ you? Casey doesn’t need to be fixed; he isn’t broken.”

With that last bit of information, Severide heads to Casey’s office, giving them time to process everything.

“Hey Case.”

Casey looks up and Severide starts, seeing blood dripping down from his mouth. A quick glance at his hands reveals the cause.

“Casey, were you chewing your fingers again.”

Casey nods, wiping the blood on his pants.

“You have to be careful.”

Casey nods again. “I know.”

“I talked to them.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“I know. Why didn’t you say anything to them?” Severide asks.

“It’s impossible to try and explain why it hurts. Every time I tried before, people just laughed at me or called me sensitive or stupid or told me to get a sense of humour. They won’t listen anyways so why try?”

Severide listens to the blonds small rant, anger filling him at how stubborn and arrogant some people can be.

“You can’t change everybody's mind, Case, you know that. But there are people out there who are willing to learn. There are people who want to understand what they’re doing wrong so they can fix it. And out there in the common room are some of those people. Why don’t you go talk to them, explain what you’re feeling and why it bothered you?”

“I can’t, Sev. Nobody will even try to understand why it bothers me. It’s just how it is.”

Chapter Text

“Oh my god, Sev! This is awesome! Thank you so much!”

Severide watches, a small smile on his face as he watches the captain bounce in place, tearing at the plastic preventing him from opening the new stim toy.

He finally gets it open and goes about squishing it, watching as the orbeez inside the plastic bulge and squirm around. Laughing, Casey tosses it back to Severide.

Severide gives it a squish, cringing at the sound it makes. Meanwhile, Casey grins, clapping his hands in glee. Severide tosses it back and stands up to grab the next gift.

“Merry Christmas, Case.”