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...ah, a wayward angel.
Put down your blade, lest you want it run through you. I have no intention of harming you- really, my business is only with your god.
What's with that confused look...? And you are actually hearing me out? My, if They hear about your insubordination, you may as well be joining my ranks. If you want to. I don't particularly care.
You're not like the others, that much I can tell you. Either that, or They have gotten really lazy with their brainwashing. Wouldn't be surprised if both were true.
...You're still here?
...You want to know how the greatest seraph 'fell from grace'?
They actually keep records of me in the heavenly archives? Hm. And here I'd thought They'd want to purge their biggest mistake.
Very well. I have time. I don't favor myself a good storyteller, but you can't complain.
Get comfortable as I regale you with just about the dumbest way I pissed off Elux. Well...dumbest ways. I did a lot of stuff that eventually led to me getting kicked out of heaven painfully.
They're an asshole, so they deserve it.
---
Elux had just created humankind. Although that in and of itself isn't a bad thing- I quite like humans, myself, I gave them free will after all- They were very.../anal/, when They went about watching over said humans.
Really, they were more dolls, setpieces, than anything. The poor creatures did nothing if their god didn't want them to. It was such a miserable existence, in my eyes.
Now, back then, Sin was my comrade.
Interrupting my story won't good for your health, you know. Yes, I mean that Sin. The Divine Serpent, as she was known back then, before her name would be cursed forever- and used to refer to whatever deeds those in power over the masses find immoral.
Yes, I mean that Sin. My wife. Anyway, let me continue. I don't quite appreciate overinquisitive chickens.
Sin and I both agreed that Elux had taken it too far with creating creatures that had the *capability* to think, to act for themselves, yet to disregard the effort Their seraphs and head angels put in designing humans by disabling that part of their functionality anyway. They might as well have created humanoid machines, for how much Elux was using their creations.
And so, we took it upon ourselves to override whatever the hell Elux put in their minds to get them to completely submit to all of Their commands.
I spent plenty of time working on some way to discreetly change the humans' thought processes without Elux noticing until it was too late.
You know where this is going.
That's right, I was the source of the Forbidden Tree. And you also know that my plan didn't entirely pan out the way I wanted it to.
Sin offered to go down to the land of the humans to plant the seed. It was risky. Extremely dangerous. We both knew whoever went on this mission was not coming back to Heaven. Elux' godhood isn't a joke- admittedly, They are extremely powerful.
Sin insisted. Although there was only one of her in Heaven, only one Divine Serpent, she argued that her punishment would be lesser if she admitted to creating the seed and planting it as compared to how horrendous and painful mine would be if I were found out.
Heh...if only we knew that the order of our falling didn't really matter...
Well, anyway. Sin went down, planted the tree, and it grew into a beautiful one under her care. Elux couldn't get her out of Their beloved Garden. I had accounted for that: there ARE ways to keep even a god out of your territory, and being the highest Head Angel at the time, it took effort, but was ultimately trivial.
So...They simply disallowed the humans from approaching the so-called Forbidden Tree.
And if she could charm me, then charming humans wasn't an issue. They were beguiled, and they ate the fruit.
Fufu, if you could only see the expression on Elux' face...it was priceless. They threw a fit. And They didn't know I caused it, too, as I sat right beside him on a seat that was lower than his. Because that guy is the very definition of egocentric. It was almost impossible to hold back my joy at seeing Them so angry...but I managed.
Anyway, They soon calmed down, threw humans out of the Garden, and cursed Sin to be the scapegoat of all 'bad' deeds.
And then I smashed Them in the face with my morningstar.
Why?
'Cause fuck Them, that's why. I also wanted to join Sin. Heaven was so boring without her.
...oh, looks like my comrades are here.
Carry on. Don't tell any of this to Elux, for your sake. They'd probably kill you.