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Jack's back was already pressed up against the door before the TARDIS made its jolty landing. He laughed against the Doctor's lips before kissing him back. The Doctor tasted of timber and smelled of ash. Jack's legs were a little wobbly as he pried his professor's knees apart, running his hand along the length of the Doctor's tented groin. Jack couldn't help but smile as the older man groaned and began giving him desperate kisses down the column of his neck.
"Doc," Jack whimpered. He held onto the Doctor's shoulder's tighter as he hooked his leg around the man's waist. The Doctor helped guide him, holding onto the back of his student's thighs as leverage. Jack raked his hands through his lover's ridiculous hair and tossed aside his fez.
"Oi," the Doctor protested without any anger. He roughly pulled down his student's robes and lets them hang as he continued his assault on Jack's neck, sucking hard to make a purple mark.
The TARDIS hummed and glowed orange. She'd never done this before after a trip, but the pair were too wrapped up in each other take notice. To be fair, they usually got this way after one of their short getaways that involved a lot of running and saving the world. This time the Doctor had interrupted Jack's class in the middle of an important potions exam and took Jack away, much to Professor Slughorn's distaste. Apparently the Doctor had been bored grading the first year's papers on how to cure werewolf bites. Taking a quick trip to Russia in 1547 sounded much more interesting.
Of course, they landed the Doctor's TARDIS in the hours before the great fire. She had transfigured herself into a pillar at the Kremlin. There was so much poverty and suffering among the people that it made Jack sick to his stomach. After wandering around for a bit, they found that the tsar's grandmother, Anna, was a dark witch and was plotting to create a fire in Moscow that would literally ruin the city. Her plan had been that the people, distraught and with nowhere to go, would turn to his grandson and he would finally become the tsar she had always wanted him to be. They had dueled with the great witch but they had been abruptly cut short when one of her servants finished the long enchantment and the fire swept through the room. The Doctor and Jack quickly started running back toward the TARDIS, nearly getting blasted from a fireball from the Kremlin's powder stores as they shut the door to the ship.
The Doctor growled as he pulled away from Jack and turned to address the TARDIS. "Shut up, old girl. Nothing's wrong. Can't you see?"
The lights flickered in response and the door flew open, making them stumble backwards. She shut the door behind them with a loud slam. The two lovers fell into a large office. The Doctor swept the items off the desk and laid his partner across the mahogany wood. He pulled Jack's white shirt over his shoulders, leaving the fabric over his back. The professor kissed his way down Jack's torso, eliciting the most exciting hitches of breath and moans from his student. Jack had twisted his fingers through his dark hair leading him down south. Once the Doctor reached the zipper of Jack's pants, they both realized they weren't alone.
"This is all very well," a drawl voice said. "But Headmistress McGonagall will be arriving into her office in little under thirty seconds with that Pond boy to discuss his internship at St. Mungo's."
Jack and the Doctor jumped off the desk in a flash and gaped. They were in fact, not in the DADA professor's office like they assumed the TARDIS had taken them like every time before. She'd messed up the coordinates and they were about to be caught by McGonagall. Fuck, and both of them would be ruined. The Doctor would be fired for fucking a student and Jack would never be an Auror with that kind of mark on his record. Shit. Fuck.
"Merlin's balls!" the Doctor exclaimed. He pulled out his screwdriver, and with a quick flick of his wrist, all of the items from McGonagall's desk flew up and were set down exactly where they had been before.
"Twenty-two. Twenty-one," the portrait of Headmaster Snape counted down. He looked ever-so smug, drumming his fingers together with a smirk on his face. "Nineteen. Eighteen."
Except the stapler was being annoying, flying over their heads and above their reach, taunting them. The Doctor had given up using his transfigured wand and was darting about trying to catch the offending Muggle office supply with his hands.
"Fifteen. Fourteen."
A kindly old man next to Snape's portrait swat at him. "Oh, Severus, do you really have to?"
"Yes. Thirteen."
Jack growled, "Accio stapler!" The item flew into his hands and he slammed it down on the desk. "Let's go!"
The Doctor smiled proudly at his student and he grasped his hand. The professor snapped his fingers and the doors to the TARDIS opened just as Snape said 'seven'. They ran like they had only minutes before from the fire licking at their heels in Russia.
"Where are we going?" Jack asked desperately, hugging the console. He watched as the Doctor punch the keys of the typewriter and move levers.
"Away from here!"
The giant column glowed, the Time-Turner suspended in the middle twirled. The TARDIS disappeared from McGonagall's office just as Snape said 'one'.
---
Headmistress McGonagall opened the door to her office. She was on alert, hand on her wand. There was a slight breeze and she could have sworn she heard an odd mechanic whirling noise. Had someone been in here?
"What did you say, Severus?"
The portrait of Snape cocked his head but continued to twiddle his thumbs, saying nothing.
"Just a friendly discussion between old friends, Minvera," Albus responded, smiling sweetly.
Rory Williams shifted from foot to foot beside her. "Um, Headmistress? Is—is anything wrong?"
She strode forward to her desk. Nothing in her office was out of place except for one thing. The stapler that had been her father's. The ancient patina had been smudged.
"No," she told Mr. Williams. Minerva didn't want to worry the boy with things that clearly he didn't need to know. She swept around and sat in her wingback chair. "Now, Mr. Williams, sit down. About your internship—"
---
"You will have to have him retake that potions exam. It was rather important. Professor Slughorn wanted to tear your throat out during lunch, but you were absent. I had to cover for you."
The Doctor stuck his tongue out at Professor Song. "Trying to prevent a great fire in—"
Professor Song tutted, "Spoilers. Trying?"
The Doctor huffed, his frown deepening.
"Still can't land it, Sweetie?" she prodded.
The Doctor glared at Professor Song like a grumpy child. He was slumped in his seat, legs crossed, refusing to drink the tea she had set out for them.
"He never flies her right, you know?" River smiled at Jack from behind her tea cup. "He leaves the brake on."
"I like the noise!" the Doctor objected, his fez falling off as he sat up. "It's classy."
"Oh, well, by all means."
Jack sat with his hands in his lap staring at the two adults. He wondered why the hell they had landed in Professor Song's quarters. He'd never had to take her classes, but he had heard from other students how creepy she could be. Plus it was always awkward being in the same room with your boyfriend's ex-wife.
Jack shrugged and took a curiosity sip of her strong herbal tea. It was the least he could do for barging in unexpectedly.
And at least they hadn't been caught by McGonagall. Again.