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Apollo has been studying for hours, and he feels likes brain might melt into the floor if he stares at his half written paper any longer. He needs a break, and probably a nap.
He's also really fucking famished for some reason. He forgot to eat dinner, since he was too busy dissociating while looking at a wall, and lunch was a full and balanced meal of a cup of yogurt.
He wants nachos. No, scratch that, he needs nachos. He might flatline otherwise.
He fumbles for the doorknob in the dark, not bothering to get his shoes. He's wearing a crusty uni hoodie and pajama pants. As he steps out, he realizes it's not pitch dark, but there's a dim light at the end of the hallway that allows him to see in front of him, so he can't trip over his own feet. For once, Apollo is grateful he lives on the first floor. He hates the racket he can hear all the time through the dorm's thin walls, but at least the fridge is not too far away.
He trudges into the cramped kitchen, turning on the stove light, as to not blind himself. He gets a tiny microwavable plate, and plops some chips and cheese on it. He can't tell if this is a depression or dissociation meal, so he considers it to be a bit of both, since that's how he's feeling right about now. He throws it into the microwave, and in those thirty seconds of humming, he figures out the meaning of life, why he was put on this godforsaken Earth, what happens after death, and—
BEEEP.
Fucking hell that's loud. He hopes no one heard that.
"Jeeesus who the hell is using the microwave? Can you let a man sleep in peace?"
Oh god.
He looks over the counter, and there's a body talking to him from under a heap of blankets on the couch. The body untangles itself from its slumbering den, and unearths itself as an annoyingly attractive man with blond hair and tan skin. His hair is sheepishly tied back in a ponytail that has barely stayed in place for the duration of his nap, and he's only wearing athletic shorts.
Christ. Apollo is not ready for being this aroused at this hour. How can he be so hot after just waking up?
"I have so many questions, you know, Mysterious Nachos Man."
"Okay, let me answer all of them at once. Yes, I'm making nachos at three in the morning, and no, you legally cannot judge me since this beeped and woke you up, that's on you buddy, for sleeping down here. Also, my name is Apollo, not Mysterious Nachos Man."
"Mine's Klavier. And you know we're learning about the law, right? I think this counts as aggravated assault."
"What kind of serious bodily harm am I purposefully causing you, dipshit?"
"I think my brain might go through "serious bodily harm" if I get my beauty sleep interrupted by a blaring microwave ever again."
"Why don't you not sleep on a public couch, dumbass."
"You're literally the dumbass?? Who makes nachos at this hour?"
"WHO FORGETS TO GO UP TO THEIR ROOM TO SLEEP???"
Klavier rolls his eyes.
"Am I supposed to be taking you seriously? You're in the fucking academy's provided pajamas."
Apollo fiddles with his hoodie strings.
"Wh-What's wrong with that?"
"Oh, I don’t know, maybe, everything? What kind of stick in the mud jackass didn't throw those out on day one?"
"They're comfortable!"
"You must be getting head from everyone in school in those, huh?"
Apollo is seriously starting to lose his shit at this rando who is attacking him a bit too closely for his comfort.
"At least I'm not butt ass naked in the common room where EVERYONE can see me!"
"Butt ass is the stupidest combination of words ever AND anyone would be grateful to see my ass that early in the morning, or at all. Some are only so lucky as to see me sneak out, just barely catching a glimpse of something they'll never forget."
"You're so fucking stupid. You're gonna get a cold, for what? Trying to be hot? How ironic."
"Trying and succeeding? Schatzi, you know it."
Apollo hates his new nickname, obviously. Totally doesn't find it cute. Not one bit.
"Do NOT call me baby, I'll eat your firstborn."
"I think that's like, reverse matricide."
"You mean infanticide??"
"It's still late at night, thank you very much, and so help me god if you don't hand over one of your nachos, I'll smack the plate out of your hand."
"If you do that I will kill you, and then we’d have an actual trial on our hands."
"Then hand me a fucking chip."
Apollo extends a greasy chip covered in melted shredded cheese, and a bit of grease trickles down his thumb. Klavier eats it out of his hand to Apollo's shock, and licks off the grease that was about to drip down his arm. Apollo feels his face heat up, and he pulls back as if he's been burned.
"What the fucking shit was that for?"
"I get flirty when I'm tired, okay?"
"So, you're always tired?"
"No, I mean like usually it's polite flirting, but being tired means get-in-your-pants flirting."
"Oh, so you flirt with everyone, and I'm somehow special?"
"You get the Tired Klavier Special, it's one of a kind."
"I bet this is totally not what you've told every other girl you've banged when she wakes you up."
"Again, nobody wakes me up, I always leave early and they see my delicious a—"
"Literally DIDN'T ask but anyway, I have standards that extend past the hot guy sleeping downstairs."
"Ooh, so I'm the hot guy downstairs? Schatzi, tell me more, tell me more."
Apollo is slowly feeling his soul escaping his body. For the love of god, why is it so easy to embarrass yourself in front of attractive people?
"Fuck, I did not mean to say that out loud."
"I tend to have that effect on people, liebling. It's like my eyes are a truth serum."
Apollo stares into his eyes blankly.
"I. Hate. You."
"Oh my, so it's a lie serum today. You love me, don't you?"
"Not in your dreams."
"Not even then? Because, you know, I was just dreaming about you..."
"We just met like five minutes ago."
"It was a premonition."
"You can't dream about someone you've never met."
"Well, you're just that special, aren't you?"
Apollo blushes and looks away, shocked into silence. Klavier can't believe that’s what breaks him. He carries on.
"For such a feisty cutie, it sure doesn't take a lot to make you too flushed to speak."
"We've been talking for at least five minutes."
"So that's how long it takes for me to break you? I'll have to keep that in mind for later."
"Later??"
"Liebling, I hate to break it to you, but I've been flirting with you, very obviously."
"Wait, really?"
"Yeah, REALLY. You're lucky you're cute or else I would've gone back to sleep."
"I-what? I thought we were about to have it out."
"Oh, please. You could NOT take me. I mean in a fight, not up the ass, because I don't know what kind of experience you've got there, maybe you're an expert—"
"If you call me an expert dick taker and expect me to be turned on by that, you're sorely mistaken."
"What's that I see in your pants then? A gun? I'll have to report this to the proper authorities."
"WHAT."
Apollo frantically adjusts his pants, and to Klavier's amusement and Apollo's humiliation, there is clearly nothing out of place.
"Ohh, wow, so I'm hot enough to where that you'd believe I've given you a boner? Schatzi, I will cherish this moment and tell it to our kids and their kids—"
"You're so dead Klavier, I swear to GOD."
He rushes into the room and tackles him, completely and utterly done with his shit. He wrestles with Klavier a bit, and then successfully pins him to the couch, panting heavily.
"So bold, liebling. I always thought I'd be on top, but I go both ways."
"Are you some sort of god coming down to torment me? You're so stupidly hot even though you just woke up and I literally don't know how that's even possible and like now that we're this close your breath doesn't even smell that bad even after just waking up like what the f—"
Klavier kisses him.
It's softer than all of the build up to it. Klavier tastes like the nacho he ate, and a bit of mint toothpaste. He smells like cinnamon and cologne, and his lips are silky and malleable against Apollo's. Klavier lets out a sigh of content when Apollo threads his hands through Klavier's hair, completely allowing his tied hair to come loose.
Apollo relaxes too far into it, and then Klavier flips him onto his back, and has him pinned this time.
"Hey there, baby."
He winks, and it makes Apollo's heart skip a beat. Apollo remembers Klavier is wearing nothing but shorts as he can see the limited outlines of Klavier's toned chest and stomach. He thinks he might die, and it would even be okay if he did.
"Uhh, h-hi. I've lost all ability to form a coherent sentence."
"That was pretty coherent, but I'm honored nonetheless. You're so cute, you know that?"
"You're so hot it's unfair. I'm losing my mind over here."
"I thought I was gonna catch a cold?"
"God, you're annoying though. What a bummer."
"You'd warm me up though, right?"
"We barely even know each other."
"And yet I kissed you, and you liked it."
"Who says that?"
"You kissed me back."
"Dammit. If I admit that, can you do it again?"
"I'll do it, even if you don't."
Klavier's lips fall onto his again, this time it feels more charged, like he's really doing this, like it's not some sort of weird dream that he'll wake up from disappointed and on the verge of tears about his lack of love life. Klavier clearly wants him just as badly, as he licks his bottom lip for the entrance that Apollo gives him without a second thought.
Who is he to resist?