Chapter Text
Marinette silently slipped her soft ballet flats from her feet. She planted her hands shakily upon the railing and closed her eyes, breathing in the cold night. The black, velvety dark was almost comforting, especially without the glare of the lanterns that normally adorned her little garden balcony.
A feeling of doom and indescribable discomfort pounded in her chest. She sank into the rail partway, letting it pass, and straightening. She gripped the railing tighter and resolved herself. There was nothing Ladybug couldn’t do, right? No reason that this was any different.
Marinette pulled herself up in a swift motion, holding herself over the bar like a seasoned gymnast over a horse beam. She held herself for a second, before landing her bare feet onto the railing and pulled upright. The strength she’d accumulated from swinging around Paris let her dangle on the edge flawlessly. It was effortless to be on the precipice here between a graceful trick and a tragic fall. She opened her eyes, slowly.
The view of Paris from an extra 4 feet higher was glamorous, and one she’d never tire of. Something she’d always hoped would be the last sight she ever saw, if only morbidly. She leaned forward, stretching a leg behind her, forming a perfect T. She reached an arm before her, reaching toward the lights, reaching toward relief, reaching for escape, reaching for--
“What are you doing?”
The husky voice startled her, and Marinette began to slip from the rail. A short scream escaped her mouth before a clawed arm snatched her from the air and into a heaving chest. She gripped the boy for dear life, her heart and head pounding.
“Christ, Marinette, you could’ve fallen. What were you doing out here?” Suddenly she was face to face with wide green eyes and a furrowed brow as Chat Noir lifted her over the balcony’s iron rails. She held her breath while he settled her onto the wooden roof, and waited for him to face her. He crossed his arms and glared almost tiredly at her. He extended a hand expectantly from his tightened stance. “Well?” He implored.
Many replies crossed Marinette’s mind,
“What are you doing here?”
“You’re not my boss.”
“Whatever I want”
“I had it until you scared me”
The influx of information she brought upon herself overwhelmed her. She felt crushed under the choices she'd created and pressured to choose. So, she cried.
Huge tears welled over and she began to sob almost immediately. The black-clad superhero recoiled in surprise, and reached out to touch her, hesitating before making contact. She shook her head and tucked herself into his hold. He winced. Through her sobs she managed to muster out, “A...are...are you ok?”
“Yeh, yeh,” He grumbled, smoothing down her hair. “Just some sore muscles. Seriously, Marinette, what’s the matter?”
“Mfine...”
“Oh you are not. “
“MmmFINE.” Marinette smothered her face harder into his chest.
“Ok, ok you're fine, but could you maybe stop squeezing so hard?”
“No I need to.”
“Uh...ok sure. Go ahead.” He chuckled.” Why don’t we get you inside? You're barely dressed and it’s freezing.” Chat Noir rubbed her bare shoulders and moved her towards the trap door entrance. He all but carried her down, past her bed and down the stylish wroughtiron staircase,and she lifelessly flopped into the little chaise lounger near the steps. She groaned loudly.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Mnnnnnn..”
“Want me to go?”
“Nnnn...no...”
“Ya sure?”
“Yeh...”
Chat Noir sighed, in debate with himself. He sat at the end of the lounger and patted Marinette’s legs.
“You realize I can’t leave you here by yourself."
“Please don’t tell my parents.” Her voice was deadpan and muffled, her face firmly stuffed into a pillow. He squeezed her ankle.
“That’s gonna make this a little complicated, princess.” He said, sullenly.
Marinette sat up.
“What?” She snapped.
“I’m not leaving you alone after that stunt, Marinette.”
“I wasn’t doing anything! I wouldn’t have fallen! “ Her voice became harsh and irritated. “ You’re the one who scared me, anyways.” She flipped over and curled her knees up under her chin. “I don’t...need...or...Well I haven’t decided what I want.”
“That’s fine. Look, I’ll just chill out on the balcony, and you get some rest. I’ll just check in occasionally.”
“Why did you come?”
Chat Noir blinked. “Mari, I saw you from a mile away doing yoga in the freaking air, I was worried you’d hurt yourself. Who do you think you are, Simone Biles?”
The very second she cracked a smile Chat Noir raised his arms over his head in victory.
“Go, get to bed.” he laughed. She nodded, and they both rose off the chaise. Chat’s back made a creaking sound,and he cringed.
Marinette stared at him
“You’re hurt, aren’t you?”
“Nah nah. I’ll be outside, Mari.”
“Stop, you’re hurting, I can see it. Why don’t you sleep here tonight?”
“Princess.” He admonished, feigning scandal.
“Oh come on, I’m not gonna leave you out in the cold. I promise I wont look if you change back. My bed’s pretty big, unless you wanna sleep on the couch.”
“Marinette, you don’t have to...”
“I’m hurt too,Chat...I could...I could use a friend. Stay the night.”
"I..."
"Please."
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“I’m gonna change back.”
“I’ll close my eyes.”
“Ladybug would not be happy...”
“Why are you so cranky tonight, kitty?”
Marinette lazily swung a leg over Chat Noir’s torso. They had moved from the chaise to her bed with more room to sprawl, Marinette not really caring about physical boundaries, as she was used to her partner's touch, and Chat, while more reserved but seemingly more physical in character anyways. She knew they didn't have the same dynamic while she was a civilian, but truly, her exhaustion took any semblance of concern from her.The boy glared at her pointedly, with unbreaking contact. Without hesitating, or thought, he wrapped a clawed glove around her ankle. He sighed.
“I’m not cranky, just tired.”
“So sleep.”
She laid her arm across his face.
“Sleeeep, kitty.Sleeep.”
“Marinette, what are you doing?”
Marinette rolled over on her side and began to to lightly slap Chat’s face.
“If I put you into a coma, you’ll sleep. Bam, bam bam.”
“If I’m in a coma, who’s going to save you from extreme yoga?"
“If I’m lucky, a real hero.”
“Ohhhhh I see how it is.” Chat Noir rolled over and dropped the entire weight of his body on top of Marinette’s small frame.
“Chat!” she gasped breathlessly, pushing upwards into his chest. She struggled against him as his laughs began to crescendo, rumbling deep in his core maliciously, vibrating her whole body,infecting her with laughter as well.They wrestled against one another, Marinette letting Chat gain the advantage for several seconds. Suddenly, she looked up at him and smirked.
“Mari...” with a grunt she hooked her legs around his waist and flipped him over with ease, pinning his wrists down. The look in his eyes amused her to no end. He was a frightened kitten, so surprised by something he didnt know could happen. Imagine if he found out why she could so easily overpower him.
A wonderful look of mischief flashed over his face.
He and Marinette sparred for dominance as he tried to grapple an arm here, swing out a leg there, never breaking her impossibly strong pin.
“How did you get so strong, you pretty little thing?”
Marinette chirped in amusement and tossed her hair loftily. She put her hands on her hips, straddling the teenaged superhero.
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Chat Noir. You’re not the only one with secrets.”
And in the moment the final word left her mouth, Marinette’s face fell into a dead, expressionless stare. She hated when it did this. Hit her in places she thought she was safe. Ruined her fun and made her stop her life just to lick her wounds. Wounds she didn't know she'd had a split-second ago.
“And you probably know the most about me.” She deadpanned.
Her arms fell to her sides, and she slowly lifted from her position atop of Chat. She laid to her side, her back to him, her hands covering her face. She tried not to cry, shaking with effort that she knew would be wasted the moment he spoke.
“I knew something was wrong...” He crooned softly.
“Why is there so much?”
Chat was taken aback. He peered over her shoulder.
“Theres too much.” She repeated, enormous tears beginning to spill out of her blue eyes. “And...and I know it’s not actually a lot but I feel like the whole world is crashing down on me...”
She felt a hand stroking her head. And while it was soothing, it made her sob so much harder.
“Why is this happening?!” She wailed. “I have a happy home, I have so much to be thankful for,I have a wonderful family and friends and a passion that I’m, I’m, I’m...” She began to stutter and hiccup and shiver as Chat Noir curled up closer to her.
“You’re fine, you’re fine, sweetie.” He whispered.
“There’s so many things that people DEPEND on me for and every day I worry if I’m enough, and worry about what would happen if i was gone, and who would replace me? Would it make a difference if I WAS gone? Would they be a better L...a better...I dont know.”
She felt the bed shift abruptly and her body was swept into a crushing bind as Chat embraced her with deep concern,
“Don’t tell me you were trying to...”
She sniffled. “I was...testing my limits. I wondered if I could be brave enough.”
“Then I’m so glad that I scared you.” Chat’s voice cracked as he hugged Marinette tighter to him, as if she might fall from the balcony from here in her bed if he loosened his grip.
“I think about jumping a lot.” She admitted quietly.
“Marinette I can only hug you so tightly.” He said pressing his face into her neck. “Am I being too touchy? I’m almost afraid to let go of you. I wouldn’t want any jealous boyfriends to come after me. I’d hate to embarrass the poor guy.”
The black hair moved against his cheek as she began to calm down and laugh. Marinette sighed.
“Sometimes I’m just confused about who I am, who I should be...”
“Well,” He said, “Who do you want to be?”
Marinette didnt know the answer to that. Not in the long run. But here in this moment, with her best friend, she knew what she wanted, at least for a moment.
“If I have to pick someone....can I pick...Princess?”