Chapter Text
Crowley and Aziraphale had a wedding to go to in two hours, Newton and Anathema's, and the two were a right mess. Crowley's intricate and excessive clothing have betrayed him, his brute strength not being able to tear his clothes off. His vest was wrapped around him twice-over, and his belt was unbuckled but still in his tight fitting jeans.
Meanwhile, Aziraphale was worriedly deciding what to wear. He had two options in front of him, and he tried them both on at least ten times, switching to the other the second he got it on.
"Angel! Did'ya swap it for a damned chastity belt? C'mere and help me!"
"Darling, can you come here? I'm not quite sure which I should wear!"
The two yelled for each other at the same time.
Crowley managed to hobble over, his jeans now in a tangled mess around his spindly legs. He kicked at it, to Aziraphale's amusement. "I din't come 'ere to be laughed at, angel." The demon muttered, embarrassed. The angel suppressed his small smile and gently knelt down, slowly and carefully making the fabric look recognizable as jeans again. Soon enough, they were off. "Thanks, angel." The demon sighed. "Now, uh, what's your dilemma?" The angel showed him both outfits and Crowley nodded. "First one, I think. The grey looks nice on you."
Crowley and Aziraphale had a wedding to go to in one hour. The ginger donned a rather tight black suit and a blood red tie, and a handkerchief of the same colour in his pocket. The blonde had a light grey suit, with a white bow tie. Crowley hadn't let him wear tartan- "it's like wearing a scuba diving suit to space!"
The two loaded their wedding gift and themselves into the Bentley. Crowley smacked his hand in time to My Chemical Romance's, "Death on Two Legs", though he much preferred Mother Mother's, "Fat Bottomed Girls". He bordered on 100 an hour, despite Aziraphale's panicked complaining about discorporation and paperwork from Corporate. "We'll be fine!" Crowley hissed, stressing the "i". The two headed to Tadfield, where they stopped at Adam's house. It was weird having to make up a reason why two seemingly middle aged men were friends with the Youngs' son, but they managed on the excuse of being a paid tutor at his school.
"'Ello, Mister Young. We're good friends with Anathema, and you know of Adam's being the best man. We can take 'em with us." Crowley nodded. He's always had a soft spot for kids, and Adam was no exception. He liked the kid's passive attitude. Mr. Young was rather desensitized from weird people, from living in a small town with people like R.P. Tyler. "i could have sworn I've seen you around somewhere before. Are you a doctor, too?" The man shook his head. "Adam! Mister Anthony is here to take you to that.. lady's wedding."
Adam's fast footsteps could be heard as he went down the stairs. He was wearing only a blue button-up and black dress pants, but nobody minded. "Yeah. I'm ready to leave." Without another word, Crowley and Adam got in the car, back with Aziraphale whom was still a bit dizzy from the rollercoaster ride of a rip. "Hello, Adam! Ready to be the bearer of rings?" The blonde smiled sweetly. "Sure."
Crowley and Aziraphale had a wedding to go to now. They got out of the Bentley on the outskirts of the Tadfield forest. Crowley carried the gift and walked alongside the angel and antichrist. It look only a minute to arrive, with newton greeting them hastily. "Ah! Hello. Nice to see you all." It didn't take three supernatural entites to know the groom-to-be was stressed out of his bumbling mind. Crowley set the wrapped gift down, which was one of his most verdant (and most frightened) plants.The rest of the reception was unbearably traditional. They even brought in Paul Coates, the town's local vicar. His citing of biblical nonsense was truly giving him the goosebumps. Even Aziraphale was surprisingly spacing out, he noticed. Everything about this atmosphere was making Crowley irritated. Still, he noticed that Anathema and Newt seemed estatic. Of course, Anathema was calmer, but the happiness radiating off them both made it clear. This was a traditional wedding, with everything as it should be. Any family would be proud to see their kid get married in a situation like this. The setting was serene and nobody else seemed even slightly bothered.
Crowley absolutely despised it.
WIthout a word to Aziraphale, the tall demon got up awkwardly and stepped over Adam's short legs. He walked out, and thankfully the bride and groom hadn't noticed to care. His eyes burned at him with what was as painful as Holy Water. Tears. He made a grunting sound, trying to shrug off the signs of vulnerability. He walked what had to be acres into the forest, which was slowly becoming thicker and suffocated the sunlight out of the atmosphere. He didn't seem to care as he let his thin legs take him farther and father in. He was so lost in his own world that he did not notice the short thicket, and the steep drop in the ground right after it.
.
.
.
.
"Oh, you stupid serpent!" Crowley heard a soft cry. It sounded like they were underwater. Or, he was underwater. He couldn't quite tell.
It took a minute, but it felt like Crowley's mind re-entered his body, as he flailed a hand up. "Ggh!" he groaned.A strong hand helped him up, his mind feeling dragged behind his body, but he managed to regain his senses. Clearly now, he heard the same voice again. "Goh- Somebody, help me! You're so dense! I can't believe you!" Ah, he recognized it now. His yellow eyes travelled to the angel, who was lying on the hard forest ground alongside him. The branches he crushed did not prove to be a good landing pad, judging by his aching body.
"Hi, angel." Crowley picked up his black shades, now crumpled and worthless."Don't dare to 'Hi angel' me! 'What happened?' Bloody-- somewhere! You ran off from the wedding, and I assumed you were getting claustrophobic so I let you, then you stay gone for the next six hours! You're lucky Anathema can trace auras. To do that to her, on her wedding day! I was starting to think you had been discorporated." Aziraphale shook his head.
"Just say killed, Aziraphale. No reason to make us sound even less normal than we are."
Aziraphale can sense love, yes, but he can also sense despair. And loads of it was radiating off of Crowley. His mindless scolding forgotten, his blue eyes grew softer as he looked at the demon with concern.
"My dear boy, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" Crowley sighed. He didn't think he was in a sober state of mind, but he couldn't care less. "Angel, why can't we be normal?" He choked out. Clearly, emotions were not his area of specialty. He noticed Aziraphale stiffen a bit, and he didn't hold his head high like before. "Love, that just isn't us. We've been here since the Beginning, and we'll be here until the End."