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Jungkook knows it’s stupid to be nervous.
But that doesn’t stop him from doing it. If he’s honest, he doesn’t think anything would stop him from being nervous. He’s so nervous that he’s considering not doing it now, waiting until he’s less scared, or maybe just never doing it at all. Maybe things don’t have to change, maybe he and Taehyung can continue living their lives like this, boyfriends sharing an apartment and a puppy, cooking breakfast together and wearing each other’s clothes and falling asleep twined together on the couch at night, forever and ever.
They can.
But they shouldn’t, is the thought that comes to mind as Jungkook stares at the shiny little ring that he’s had hidden inside of an old box that he’d been keeping his acrylics in. The velvet ring box has a bit of yellow paint on the corner but Jungkook doesn’t thing Taehyung will mind. If he ever sees it at all, a scared little voice in the back of his head says.
He will see it, he tries to say back, he will.
He stares down at the ring, drawing his finger over the shiny, slightly warped metal. It’s nothing much, just a thin, gold band inset with tiny little diamonds. The woman who sold it to Jungkook had convinced him to get an engraving, then once he’d told her what he wanted, had told him that only the first ten characters were free, and he’d handed over a bit more cash.
As long as I’m with you, is carved out on the inside of the band. It was something that started back when they were kids, before they’d even known anything about being in a relationship. They’d been stuck inside because it’d started pouring just after they’d gotten home from school and Jungkook’s mom wouldn’t let them play outside. Jungkook had apologized about it, had even told Taehyung that he’d ask his mom to drive him home if that’s what Tae had wanted.
But Taehyung had waved him off, spreading out on the floor of Jungkook’s bedroom, the contents of their backpacks haphazardly thrown around him, and said, “As long as I’m with you, I’m having fun.”
It was nothing back then, just a stupid, throwaway comment that Taehyung had used to make Jungkook feel better, despite it being true. But as they’d gotten older, it came with them. Through bad grades and being made fun of, through Jungkook’s parents' divorce and Taehyung being outed a few weeks after his sixteenth birthday, all the way to when they’d gotten together when Jungkook had joined Taehyung at college.
As long as I’m with you, I don’t need good grades. As long as I’m with you, I’ll be okay. As long as I’m with you, it doesn’t hurt. As long as I’m with you, I’ll be happy.
Different variations, but always the same words in the beginning, As long as I’m with you.
As long as I’m with you, he thinks to himself, remembering how he’d left Taehyung that morning, half-asleep in their bed, with his hair mussed and pillows lines pressed into his face. He’d kept calling out to Jungkook in a tired voice while he’d been moving around their bedroom getting ready, tugging him in so that he'd run his fingers through Taehyung's hair and give him kisses.
As long as I’m with you, he thinks, tucking the ring into his pocket and leaving his studio to meet Taehyung for dinner.