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John struggled to contain his glee as he sat at the bar, sipping his drink. He didn’t remember the last time he’d actually been on a date with someone. A real date. He really hoped that Zatanna hadn’t poisoned Dick’s mind against him with her opinions of him; since he heard they’d briefly dated.
Was facing the wrath of an overprotective Batman be worth scoring a date with the Nightwing? After a moment of contemplation, he firmly decided yes, it was. Even he had heard the rumors about Nightwing. Honestly, the kid’s ass didn’t look as amazing as people said it was, but maybe he had to see it in spandex to get the full effect.
To be honest, he’d been shocked that Dick had accepted his invitation to go on a date with him. After all, he wasn’t exactly 20 anymore, and he sure as hell didn’t look like it. He thought Dick would’ve just taken one look at him and politely declined.
Or maybe, John suddenly realized, this was probably Dick’s way of trying to piss off Batman. Go fuck a middle-aged guy who wasn’t exactly the most heroic guy around; that would really upset Batman. Scratch that, he’d be lucky to be alive after tomorrow once Batman found out about their date.
He only had to wait about 15 more minutes before Dick slid into the bar. John did a double take in shock at Dick’s appearance, it was like Dick had become a completely different person.
Dick was wearing fashionable clothes that were clearly tailored to his body, and his hair was all gelled up. But the biggest difference was how Dick carried himself. There was a layer of confidence present that he hadn’t seen at Jason’s house. Then again, Dick probably had been caught off guard by him. He tended to have that effect on people, which wasn’t always a good thing.
Dick had a bright smile that was practically carved into his face, which John could instantly tell was just a mask put on for the public. He couldn’t help but want to know the real Dick Grayson; not the brave and heroic Nightwing; certainly not the trust fund brat and socialite that had just walked into the bar.
He contented himself with watching as Dick made his way to the bar and sat down. Almost immediately, the bartender set down a drink in front of Dick. Clearly, they were somewhat familiar with Dick here.
Once Dick had drunk about half of his drink, he motioned for the bartender. “You know that pretty guy over there with the slicked-back hair and high-end clothes?” He was curious as to what the bartender would say about Dick.
The woman glanced over at Dick before snorting. “Yeah. Full disclosure, you do anything with him, your face will be plastered all over the gossip columns.”
“Oh, is he a celebrity?” John decided to play the clueless foreigner, which in a way he was.
The bartender gave him a tired look. “Something like that. You still wanna buy him a drink?”
John pursed his lips, pretending to think it over. “Why not? Give him a refill on me.”
“You got it,” she drawled, before moving towards Dick.
After about a minute or two, the bartender slid another drink in front of Dick. She said something to Dick, pointing over at him. Dick made eye contact with him, and he flashed Dick a smile, raising his drink ever so slightly in a toast.
Dick grinned at him, before sauntering over to where he was sitting and sliding into the seat next to him. “Thanks for the drink.”
“Anything for you, gorgeous.” John purred out, before raising an eyebrow. “So, apparently you’re famous?”
Dick laughed ever so slightly; his eyes gleaming. “I’m Richard Grayson. But you can call me Dick.”
John smirked, before mentally trying to figure out whether it was plausible for a Brit to know who Dick was. After a moment, he decided not to be too oblivious. “You’re... one of Bruce Wayne’s kids, aren’t ya? Think I saw you in a magazine once.”
“I’m the eldest one; from the circus.” Dick beamed at him, before giving him a curious look. “I assume you’re not from around here with the sexy accent?”
“Got that right, luv. I’m from London. John Constantine, at your service.” John grabbed Dick’s hand, before kissing the back of it again and letting it go. To his disappointment, Dick only blushed ever so slightly, clearly expecting it this time. Pity, Dick had looked so adorable when he had gone bright red and gotten all flustered earlier.
He was curious if Dick was going to pretend that he’d never heard of him before, or if he’d come up with an excuse.
Dick pursed his lips before his eyes lit up. “Did you help Commissioner Gordon in the past as some kind of consultant? I used to date his daughter and remember him mentioning your name once.”
John tilted his head, trying to remember that incident before nodding. That was a rather good cover for knowing who he was. “I did. I specialize in dealing with the supernatural.”
“Woah, are you a superhero?” Dick asked with an innocent look on his face.
John grimaced ever so slightly at the faint teasing undertone present in Dick’s voice. “I wouldn’t really consider myself one but...”
Dick looked starstruck, yet there was a gleam of amusement in his eyes. “Wow, I’ve never met a real superhero before. Do you have any powers?” John had to hold back a snort of laughter at hearing that come from Nightwing.
“Well, I’m highly skilled at magic, but I rarely use it unless absolutely necessary. I prefer to outwit, trick, and manipulate my opponents.” It took him a moment to try to figure out how to respond to that.
Dick tilted his head, before sending him a flirty smile. “That’s pretty clever of you.”
John preened at the compliment, before purring out his favorite pickup line. “I can guarantee you’re about to have the most magical night of your life.”
Dick giggled, looking amused. “I’ll hold you to that.”
“What about you? Do you have any powers?” John winked at Dick, a smirk on his face.
Dick raised an eyebrow, before grabbing his signature red tie and playing with it. “Well, for the first decade of my life, I was an acrobat in a traveling circus. So, I guess you could say my superpower is that I’m very... flexible.” The last word was a low, sweet purr as Dick leered at him.
Suddenly, Dick yanked on his tie, pulling him closer so their faces were inches apart. As much as he wanted to close the distance, he patiently waited for Dick to make the first move. After a moment, Dick grinned at him before crashing their lips together.
Immediately, multiple camera flashes started going off, blinding him. His momentary distraction allowed Dick to easily slide a tongue past his lips. Once the spots in his eyes went away, he eagerly started kissing back.
Holy fuck was Dick great at kissing, John distantly thought. He hadn’t expected Dick to take control of the kiss, and he sure as hell hadn’t pegged Dick as being more dominant. However, he definitely wasn’t complaining. One thing was for sure, tonight was going to be a lot more interesting.
Eventually, they started to run out of air, so they were forced to reluctantly break apart. It took him a moment to regain his bearings before he glared over at the paparazzi. “How upset do you think they’d be if they couldn’t listen in on our conversation?”
Dick grinned widely at him. “Extremely.”
John cracked his knuckles, before casting a simple spell around the two of them. He didn’t know how to exactly describe it, but he’d almost compare it to the Muffliato Charm from the Harry Potter series. It basically put the two of them in a bubble; in which outside noise could get in, but nothing could come out.
When the faint buzzing noise filled his ears, indicating the spell had been successfully cast, John let out a relieved sigh. “All set. Now, nobody can hear us or read our lips.”
Dick beamed at him, looking thrilled. “I could kiss you right now.”
“I won’t stop you,” John said with a chuckle.
Dick laughed, before leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss onto his lips.
He pulled out his pack of Silk Cuts. “You mind?” He wasn’t about to start things off on the wrong foot by assuming Dick would be fine with him smoking. He could survive a couple of hours without a cigarette if he needed to.
Dick blinked in surprise, clearly not expecting him to ask; before shrugging ever so slightly. “Go ahead. You won’t be the first smoker I’ve fucked.”
Well, that answered the question that’d been on the tip of his tongue. Dick hadn’t even flinched or gagged at the taste of cigarettes on his breath, which was unusual. Most people he’d kissed had at least a slight reaction to it.
“Thanks, luv,” John murmured appreciatively as he lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply.
Now that they could privately talk, he fixed Dick a serious look. “Look, am I going to be the oldest person you’ve had sex with?”
“No,” came the firm response from Dick, causing his eyebrows to shoot upwards.
“I’m over 60 years old,” John hesitantly got out.
Dick gave him a wry grin. “Still not the oldest.”
“Jesus fucking Christ, what are you doing, hooking up with octogenarians?” John spluttered; his eyes wide. The curse escaped his lips before he realized it, but he figured it was rather appropriate for the situation, all things considering. He’d ask God for forgiveness later on for taking his name in vain; although honestly, that was rather low on his long list of sins.
Dick’s smile widened in amusement. “Deathstroke the Terminator,” he drawled.
Oh. Oh. He’d heard a rumor about how the assassin had a bit of a soft spot for the first Robin, but he didn’t realize they’d been having sex. “I... wow...” John wasn’t exactly sure of how to proceed with that information. “Does he know?”
“Unfortunately.” An annoyed look briefly curled Dick’s face, and John could only imagine Batman’s reaction and the resulting screaming match.
“Do you think he’ll lecture you over fucking me?” John hesitantly asked. The last thing he wanted was to cause any more arguments between Dick and Batman.
Dick rolled his eyes, looking exasperated. “I’ll deal with him, don’t worry about it. I promise he won’t track you down to have a ‘chat’ with you.”
John raised an eyebrow at the rather optimistic statement, before shrugging ever so slightly. He’d wait and see if Dick could actually call off Batman or not. Then again, miracles could happen. Maybe he’d get lucky, although he doubted it. He took one final drag on his cigarette, before stubbing it out on an ashtray.
Suddenly, Dick let out a squeal, grabbing onto his arm. “I love this song! Let’s dance!”
John’s eyes lit up in excitement. “I thought you’d never ask.” They quickly drained the rest of their drinks, before Dick grabbed a hold of his wrist and practically dragged him onto the dancefloor.
Alright, so he wasn’t exactly the best dancer around, but he was halfway decent. Besides, Dick easily picked up the slack.
A while later, John had to admit that this was by far the best date he’d ever been on. He didn’t think he’d ever had this much fun in a long time. His cheeks hurt from the wide grin that had crept onto his face, and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled this much.
Judging by the genuine smile that had slowly replaced the polite mask Dick had been wearing previously, Dick was enjoying himself also. Or at least he hoped Dick was having a blast.
After about a half-hour of dirty dancing, Dick finally stopped, before leering at him. “Wanna go back to your place now? Don’t want to tire ourselves out too much.”
John smirked in amusement, before starting to lead Dick towards the exit. “That sounds like a great idea, luv.”
Once they got to the parking lot, John dramatically waved his hands in the air, before loudly clapping three times.
He grinned at the surprised look on Dick’s face as the House of Mystery appeared out of thin air, before taking a hold of Dick’s wrist and gently leading him inside.
Once they closed the door, John easily lifted Dick up in his arms, who wrapped his legs around his waist. He looked up at the ceiling, before demanding, “The next door I open up better lead to a bed.” His lips twitched when the lights flickering ever so slightly in acknowledgment.
“Who are you talking to?” Dick curiously asked.
John let out a tired sigh. “Just the House of Mystery. It’s sentient and likes to play tricks on people. The rooms are always shifting, so you never know where you’ll end up.”
Dick raised an eyebrow, looking faintly amused to hear that.
John strode over to the nearest door, before warily opening it. “Oh, for the love of...” They were in the living room now. “Well, now I can say I’ve been cockblocked by a damn magical house.”
Dick giggled madly into his neck. “I don’t mind couch sex.”
“I’m not feeling that adventurous,” John muttered lowly, before raising his voice. “Let’s try this again.”
He turned around and opened the door again. To his utter relief, he was now looking into a bedroom. “Thank you,” he exasperatedly called out. John rolled his eyes when laughter echoed softly inside his head.
John crossed the room, before placing Dick on the bed and climbing on top of him.
“So, I’m ready for the magical time you promised me.” Dick sweetly cooed into his ear.
John smirked, before bending down and kissing Dick again. “Trust me, the night has only just begun.”
-------
John let out a contented sigh as he flopped down on the bed. Damn, that had been amazing. A faint smile curled his face when Dick cuddled up to him, and he wrapped an arm around Dick, pulling him closer.
“I had a great time tonight” John murmured, tucking Dick’s head under his chin.
Dick let out a contented sigh, his breath hot against his neck. “Me too.”
John pulled the sheets up over then, and was just about to drift off when Dick softly whispered: “Hey, John?”
John looked down and was concerned at the vulnerable look in Dick’s eyes. “Yeah, luv?”
Dick took a deep breath, before getting out in a rush “I appreciated you asking me at Jason’s house if you could kiss me.”
John blinked in surprise, that had been the last thing he’d expected to come out Dick’s mouth. “I... you’re welcome?” he hesitantly got out, unsure of how to respond to that. “I’m sorry, I’ve never been thanked for acting like a decent bloody human being before.”
He didn’t know who Dick was hanging out around with that they didn’t respect his boundaries, but clearly, he needed to find a new crowd.
Dick let out a low, bitter laugh. “I’m the ‘pretty one’, the one that everyone wants to fuck. Most people content themselves with merely groping my ass, kissing me, or making innuendos or jokes. However,” Dick’s voice cracked “there are a few people who’ve crossed the line.”
John felt a surge of dread at that. How far had they gone? Had they...?
He sat up in bed, gently stroking Dick’s hair. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Dick bit his lip, seeming hesitant as he also got up, curling into a ball against the headboard.
“Something similar happened to me a long time ago.” John soft said.
Dick stared at him in surprise. “Really?”
“Yeah.” He hesitantly reached out and gently cupped Dick’s face. “How about I tell you my story? Afterward, you can tell me as much as you feel comfortable doing so. How does that sound?”
Dick stared at him for the longest time, before jerkily nodding. He stiffly got up, before putting on his clothes; and John followed suit. Once they got dressed, they settled back on the bed.
John let out a long sigh before he began telling Dick about how he’d been raped by Swamp Thing and his wife Abigail. Swamp Thing had needed a human surrogate in order to have a child with Abby, so Swamp Thing had possessed him without his consent. He had regained control of his body halfway through having sex with Abby. [1]
After he was finished talking, he noticed Dick was staring at him in horror. He shrugged ever so slightly, trying to give Dick a reassuring smile that came out strained. “I mean, I was more upset that he didn’t ask me since I’d been literally seconds away from offering. Honestly, it was worse for Abby, since she feared that it was just another trick. Years previously, she’d had sex with her first husband, not realizing he’d been possessed by her evil uncle at the time.”
“Oh,” Dick whispered, staring down at his hands. After a moment, Dick looked up at him, and John was alarmed to see tears welling up in Dick’s eyes. “Well...”
The words began spilling out of Dick’s mouth; as if the dam had been broken and he couldn’t keep it in any longer. Dick first talked about the deals he’d made with Deathstroke, Deadshot, and Owlman; seeming somewhat calm and collected.
It wasn’t until he got onto what Mirage and Tarantula had done to him that his composure broke. By the time he’d finished, tears were streaming down his face, and John could barely understand a word of what Dick was saying, he was crying so hard.
Once Dick was finished talking, John tugged him onto his lap. “Just let it out,” he soothingly said, grimacing at the way Dick flinched at his touch. Dick started hysterically sobbing onto his shoulder, his body violently shaking.
“Shh, shh, shh,” John kept whispering in Dick’s ear, gently stroking his hair, and rubbing circles into his back.
John wasn’t sure how they stayed like that as he tried to comfort Dick the best he could. Eventually, to his utter relief, Dick started slowly calming down. John hesitated ever so slightly before he cast a mild sleeping on Dick.
Once the spell had taken full effect, John disentangled himself from Dick and tucked him into the bed. He reached down and gently wiped away the tear tracks on Dick’s face. His heart bled for him, Dick hadn’t asked to look and be sexualized like he was.
John frowned, debating as to whether he should try to help Dick out with his problems. After some thought, he decided why not? He needed a distraction in order to prevent himself from finding Tarantula and Mirage and brutally murdering them.
Actually, from what Dick had said about Tarantula sounded awful similar to what Jason had told him about Etrigan’s latest victim. He made a mental note to ask Jason about it later.
“Could you -” John started to say out loud, only to be cut off when a book landed in his lap. “Thanks,” he murmured. A soft wind blew through his hair, and he could sense the House’s concern in the back of his head. John opened the book, before starting to flip through the pages until he found the spell he was looking for.
The spell tricked people’s brains into believing that the recipient was less attractive than before. It didn’t change their appearance at all, just gave an aura around them that masked their beauty ever so slightly.
It wouldn’t make Dick seem ugly, that was far from what he wanted. With any luck, it would provide enough attractiveness-dulling to make people not want to do stuff like groping Dick’s ass and kissing him anymore.
He didn’t think it would decrease the number of jokes and comments Dick received, but those would hopefully be easier to ignore than the assaults.
Plus, it messed around with people’s minds and told them that the person had always been like that. People would definitely become suspicious if Dick suddenly didn’t seem as gorgeous looking as before.
Hopefully, it wouldn’t cause Dick too many issues with his love life, with the people that he actually wanted to have sex with or his exes. He didn’t want Dick to have trouble with getting laid in the future.
He hesitated ever so slightly; if Dick found out what he’d done there was a good chance he’d be furious with him. Besides, it was a rather cruel spell, one that really only jilted and jealous people used on rivals or ex-lovers.
After some contemplation, he decided to do it. The ability to help out Dick far outweighed the risk of Dick hating him for his meddling. He was used to burning his bridges with people due to his schemes, this was no different than normal. He’d gotten his chance to get a taste of Dick, and that was more than enough to satisfy him just in case Dick wanted nothing to do with him ever again.
He’d have to check in with Dick in a month or two and see if he’d noticed any changes in people’s behavior. If it wasn’t working, then he could either take the spell off of Dick or try increasing the strength of it.
John closed his eyes, before starting to work his magic. He also cast something to hide his magical signature and all traces what he’d just done on Dick. It would be disastrous if a random magician noticed his aura on either Dick or Nightwing; and even worse if they ran into both personas and connected the dots. The last thing he wanted was to accidentally reveal Dick’s identity to the wrong people.
Immediately, he knew it had worked when Dick didn’t look as hot as he had a moment ago. He lightly stroked Dick’s hair, squashing down the guilt he felt. He never liked playing god, but sometimes he didn’t have a choice in the matter.
John yawned ever so slightly; the spell had taken a lot out of his power reserves. He pulled back the covers, before settling down next to Dick. He tightly wrapped Dick in his arms, before drifting off.
John woke up to the smell of pancakes and bacon wafting into the room and an empty bed. He got up, before opening the bedroom door and ending up in the kitchen. He blinked in surprise to see Dick standing at the stove and cooking.
He silently made his way to Dick, before wrapping his arms around Dick and resting his chin on Dick’s head. “Morning, luv.”
Dick jumped ever so slightly, before twisting around and flashing him a wide smile. “Hey! I thought I’d make breakfast.” Dick gave him a sheepish look, seeming embarrassed. “I promise you I normally don’t cry on the first date.”
John chuckled at that, lightly ruffling Dick’s hair. “Trust me, I’ve been on far worse dates. And if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always give me a call.”
Dick gave him a grateful smile. “Thanks, John. You’re the best.”
“I’m pretty sure Zatanna and most other people would disagree with that statement.” John rolled his eyes ever so slightly.
Dick giggled, before going pale. “Oh no, Zatanna’s going to kill you for hooking up with me.”
“Shit.” All the color drained out of his face at that. Zatanna was going to be furious with him at fucking one of her exes. “Well, at least I got to have sex one last time before I die in a few hours.”
Dick gave him a sympathetic look. “Then I’m going to get the lecture of a lifetime about what a shitty and horrible person you are.”
“Well, we’re both fucked,” John deadpanned, causing a ghost of a smile to curl Dick’s face. “We might as well get Batman and Zatanna together so they can tag-team us, get it all over with.”
“Nah, I don’t think Batman will be too upset with you. I’m pretty sure he’ll just give me a mild scolding and that’s it.” Once again, Dick seemed rather confident in his prediction. Then again, Dick’s known Batman for over a decade and a half, so maybe he was correct in what he thought Batman’s reaction would be.
John let out a low sigh. “Well, I might as well head over to Jason’s house and break the news to her from there, since Zatanna is guaranteed to be upset with Jason for letting the date to even happen.”
Dick looked guilty at hearing that. “Can you give him my apologies for making him the subject of Zee’s ire?”
“Sure thing.” He pressed a kiss onto the top of Dick’s head, before tugging him away from the stove. “How about we eat our last meal?”
Dick gave him a weak smile as they settled down at the dining room table.
John hesitated, unsure of whether to say what’d been on his mind for a bit. After debating with himself, he decided to do it anyway. “I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but those deals you made with Deathstroke, Deadshot, and Owlman were rather impressive.”
He wasn’t saying that to be nice, his respect for Nightwing had gone up to hear what he had done. He hadn’t thought Nightwing was capable of doing something like that, considering who his mentor was. Then again, Dick clearly knew he had a great body and knew how to use it to its full advantage.
Dick blinked in surprise before a faint smile curled his face. “Thanks. Coming from ‘The World’s Greatest Con Man’, that’s really high praise.”
John lowly chuckled at that, before becoming serious. “I promise you; I won’t tell anyone about what you’ve done.”
Dick stared at him for a moment, before looking utterly relieved. “Thanks,” he murmured.
“No problem,” John softly replied, before they both went back to eating.
Once they’d finished their breakfast in companionable silence, John spoke again. “So, how many magazines and websites do you think we’ll get on?”
Dick smirked at him, looking amused. “Well, the paper ones will already have something out, since they have deadlines to meet. The online ones will camp out on the manor front lawn waiting for me to come home, then publish something within an hour.”
John grinned, before waving his hand. After a moment, several magazines appeared on the table. “John!” Dick cried out in exasperation.
John only gave Dick an innocent look as he grabbed one of the magazines. “Nice, front cover!”
Dick gave him a dirty glare, before picking up a magazine himself. “At least they got my good side,” he grumbled, although he was clearly struggling to hide a smile.
They quickly flipped through the magazines. About half of them had written something about them. They all featured pretty much the same title and similar pictures of them at the club.
ELDEST WAYNE WARD FUCKS FOREIGN OCCULT DETECTIVE: Dick Grayson and John Constantine seen dancing and leaving the club together
Once they were finished skimming the articles, John collected them, before magically sending them to his room. “I’m going to frame them in my bedroom.”
Dick only shook his head, looking amused. “Ready to put on a show for the paparazzi?”
“Let’s.” John grinned, before getting up and tugging Dick into his arms. He carefully ruffled up Dick’s hair, in order to give it the messy bedhead look. Dick took off his shirt, before turning it inside out and putting it back on.
They exchanged identical smirks, before heading towards the kitchen door. John warily opened it and was relieved to see the foyer. He firmly knocked on the front door, before calling out “Wayne Manor front yard.”
After waiting for a moment, he grabbed Dick’s hand and opened the door. To his relief, the House of Mystery had landed only a few feet away from the manor front door. They calmly walked out, easily ignoring the multiple cars parked out in front of the manor.
Once they walked down the front steps, John swept Dick into a deep kiss, easily lifting Dick a few inches off the ground. Eventually, they had to break for air, and he regretfully set Dick down.
“Next time you’re in town, call me for a good time,” Dick said loud enough for the nearby paparazzi to hear.
John leered at Dick. “Trust me, I will.”
Dick pressed a quick kiss onto his mouth, before making his way to the manor, walking with an overexaggerated limp. John grinned, before leaning against the House’s railing and lighting a cigarette, taking a long drag on it. Once Dick made his way to the manor's front door, he twisted around and blew a kiss at him with a wink, before going inside.
John only chuckled, before making his way back inside the House of Mystery and slumping against the front door. He ran a hand through his hair, his smile slowly fading into a grimace. Now, he had to face the music in the form of a furious Zatanna, which he wasn’t really looking forward to. He just hoped Dick wasn’t getting too bad of a lecture from Batman.
He took a deep breath, before teleporting himself to Jason’s house. If he managed to survive Zatanna, he had some other business to do. Such as tracking down a couple of rapists, provided of course Jason hadn’t gotten there first.