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Billy holds his hands out in front of him, cursing his nerves as they shake. “Dad… Dad, it’s going to be okay….”
Neil shakes his head. “No, it’s not going to be okay. You’re a faggot, Billy! Nothing will ever be okay again. I have to… I have to erase it. I have to make this go away. You’ll have no life if you do these… perverted things!”
Steve stands off to the side, his hands also out in front of him to show that he means no harm. When Neil came in to Billy’s room unannounced and caught them kissing, he’d immediately retreated. But before Steve could leave and take Billy with him, Neil had returned with a gun and now Billy is trying to talk him down, but Steve can see that the older man is getting more irritated. He’s glancing back and forth between the window and Billy and muttering something about how they’re watching and he’ll be punished for not keeping his son in line.
Billy takes a deep breath as if he’s familiar with this train of thought. “Dad, who do you think is watching you?”
“The government…. They watch, you know. I saw it… in the war… I saw it. They knew everything and they knew when those people died… they knew what we did. We didn’t say, we never told, but the government knew and they sent people to kill me. That’s why, Billy. That’s why we had to move.”
Billy frowns. “Dad, that’s not why… We had to move because-“
Neil aims the gun at Billy’s face. “Don’t tell me what I already know! I was there! And now they’ve poisoned you. They must have done something to you to make you… want boys. They know the shame it will bring. They know the-“
“You’re wrong.”
Billy glances over at Steve with a clear expression of ‘Shut the fuck up’ on his face, but when does Steve ever listen.
Neil keeps the gun pointed at Billy and takes a step back, taking Steve in with his frantic gaze. “Shut your mouth, queer.”
“No, you want to know what happened, I’ll tell you. I…” He glances at Billy, who looks scared as fuck. “I’ve been working on him… for the government. I’ve been trying to turn him fag.”
“I knew it! You’re breaking up families!”
“Yeah because… um…” He looks at Billy again and then back to the gun that is now pointed at him. “Because if we make everyone… gay then there won’t be any more kids and then America will… die.” He swallows hard as Neil gets closer to him, curious, but still pointing the gun at his head.
Billy shudders in fright. “Dad… Dad you have to let him go. He doesn’t know what he’s saying.”
“See?” Steve stands up straighter. “See what I did to him? He actually thinks he has to protect me. He thinks I’m the good guy. What’s really sad is that you think it’s your government behind this.”
Neil pales. “What are you talking about?”
Steve licks his lips and pulls Robin’s voice… her words… from his memory. He speaks the few Russian phrases he remembers, complete gibberish to anyone who knows the language. And butchering the accent to any native speaker’s ears.
“Oh God, Harrington…” Billy looks defeated, as if he’s just watched Steve seal his own fate.
“I almost had him, Neil. I almost had him willing to let me fuck him. Almost. But then you came in and you… you stopped it. You saved him. You know… he’s young. He’s not as strong willed as you are. You wouldn’t have fallen for it, would you?”
Neil shakes his head. “No, I’m no queer.”
“Maybe I could make you one. Maybe I’m stronger.” Steve stops talking then as the barrel of the gun presses against his forehead. His eyes dart to Billy’s and then to the door.
Billy takes a deep breath and then makes a break for it. Neil turns and that’s when Steve grabs the gun and punches Neil hard in the face. He jumps over the man, who has fallen, toward the door, only to be grabbed by the ankle and land hard on his front. He hears the crack of bone as his wrist takes all of his weight. He cries out and tries to roll over to fight. But then his injured arm is yanked behind him and he screams in agony. The scream is cut off by the feeling of the gun barrel pressing hard into the back of his head. “Please… please don’t…”
Neil chuckles. “I’m going to rid the world of you, boy. You’re a sick piece of shit. You won’t be turning any more of our young men to your ways.”
Steve lies there for about ten minutes as Neil starts talking about what a waste Steve is and how Neil has saved Billy from him. He listens to him rant about his conspiracies and how the government is being taken down from the inside. He’s trying so hard to keep himself from passing out as his arm feels as if it’s on fire. He’s nauseous with the hurt and he whimpers involuntarily as Neil twists it again, biting right through his lip and tasting the copper tang on his tongue.
The sound of Billy’s voice comes to him then and he drops his forehead to the floor, cursing his boyfriend for not leaving when he could. But then he hears Hopper’s voice yelling orders and he feels the gun barrel move a bit.
“What the fuck is that?” Neil gets up, pulling Steve with him. He wraps an arm around his waist and puts the gun to the side of his head. “You and me… we’re getting out of here. I don’t know who to trust. Maybe… maybe I can trade you to someone who can help.”
Steve sobs in relief as his arm is released. “Sure… sure, I’ll go with you, but just keep the gun trained on me, okay? I have them all fooled. They won’t… they won’t hurt you if you have me. But if you aim at them, if you try and hurt them, my people… they’ll uh… they’ll find you.” He gasps as Neil pulls him tighter against him.
“I promise I’ll kill you before I kill a good American, boy.” He nudges Steve forward and walks into the living room. Seeing nobody there, he moves toward the front door only to stop when he hears Hopper yelling in.
“Neil? Come on, man… I need you to come out here and let the Harrington boy go. We can talk about this.”
Neil frowns. “No! I can’t trust you yet! I have to get him out of here and you have to let me! I have to save my son!”
Billy’s voice rings out then. “Dad, please! Don’t hurt him!”
Neil growls. “See? Look what you did to him!”
Steve shakes his head. “He’s not… he’s not lost yet. Maybe he’ll be okay. There’s no reason to hurt him. He didn’t say yes yet. Billy didn’t-“
“Shut up!” Neil grips Steve’s hair and slams Steve hard against the doorframe and then does it again and again until Steve can’t see straight and his wrist is the least of his problems. He feels the blood dripping down the side of his face from a gash that the wood caused in his head at his hairline. The pain around his eye from the hits make his nausea worse. “You don’t say his name, faggot. You hear me?”
Steve sobs then. He just wanted Billy to be safe. He just wants everyone to be safe. But now he’s starting to understand the reality that Neil is quite capable of killing him whether or not someone is there to witness it. Billy told him that the war fucked up his dad, but he didn’t realize how much. Now he’s in the hands of someone who can’t be rationalized with at all and he’s pretty sure that he’s going to die tonight. The thought causes more sobs to tear out of his throat. “I’m sorry…”
Neil frowns. “I’ll bet you are. You try to turn my son and-“
“No… No, he’s different. He’s not… he’s not a mission.”
Hopper yells again. “Get out here, Hargrove! There’s no place for you to go! Let us help you!”
Neil orders Steve to open the door and then walks out, keeping Steve in front of him, the gun firmly against the boy’s temple. Steve can feel the impression of the gun and knows that he’s going to have a bruise there if his head is still intact after this. He looks toward Billy, who appears stricken at Steve’s appearance.
Steve tries to take in a deep breath, but finds he can’t because of the grip that is so tight around his chest. The lack of breath causes what vision he still has to start graying at edges and he finds it harder to concentrate on what’s happening. He hears the yelling between Hopper and Mr. Hargrove. He hears Billy yelling at his father to let him go. But he knows he has to be honest about one thing before he goes. “Billy….”
All sound stops as Hopper holds up his hands and Billy strains to hear. Neil growls in Steve’s ear. “I told you not to say his name.”
“I know, but… but I need to tell him…” He looks right at Billy as the darkness starts closing in. “I love you….”
Steve isn’t sure what happens next, but when he opens his eyes, he’s lying down and there is something solid and warm pressed up against his side. He takes a moment to adjust to the lack of light in the room and feels something over his nose and mouth. He panics and sucks in gulps of air and starts fighting to get it off.
But then there are hands on his own and whispers in his ear. “Shhh. Steve, it’s okay, baby. It’s okay. It’s over.”
Steve blinks a few times and reaches for the mask again.
“No… no, leave it on. You really struggled to breathe right after you passed out and… and we shouldn’t take chances.”
Steve looks up into Billy’s eyes, having finally adjusted to the dimness enough to see his boyfriend’s worried face. “Billy…”
“Yeah, I’m here. Dad is… He’s in the hospital, too. He tried…” He shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.”
Steve tries to suck in another breath and fails twice before relaxing enough to get one in. “No… it matters.”
Billy moves the mask to the side and kisses Steve softly before replacing it. “You lost consciousness. Dad couldn’t hold you up. Before anyone could convince him to put the gun down, he… he aimed it at your head and… Hopper shot him. He was in surgery for quite awhile, but it looks like he’s going to pull through. Then he’ll go to a facility where he can get help for whatever the fuck is in his head."
Steve looks around. “It’s dark… same night?”
Billy shakes his head. “No, this all happened last night. You’ve been out for a long time. You came to a bit here and there, but you weren’t very lucid.”
“You been here… whole time?”
Billy nods. “Of course, are you crazy? You put yourself on the line for… fuck, Steve… why did you do that? You came up with that wild story and I couldn't figure out why you fed into his shit conspiracy crap."
“Because he was aiming a gun at you. I couldn’t… I couldn’t let him hurt you. I needed to... to draw his attention away... make him think I was his real enemy... I couldn't let him... Billy, I… I love you.”
Billy leans in again, wiping the tears that Steve didn't even know were falling, and getting more comfortable on the bed. “Harrington… you don’t get it. You don’t… you don’t know what that did to me… seeing you hurt… seeing you with that gun on you like… and you saying goodbye like that. You fucker… don’t you think I love you, too? Do you even know how bad that hurt me? Seeing you in his arms?”
As the blonde starts to sob with his own fear, Steve brings up his good arm and runs his fingers through Billy’s hair. “Sorry, babe. So so sorry.”
Billy looks up and wipes his eyes. “Don’t you ever do something like that again.”
Steve shrugs a shoulder. “Can’t promise I won’t protect you. Can’t… can’t say for sure.”
Billy sighs. “God I hate you sometimes.”
Steve smiles slightly. “You… love me. And me… too…” His eyes start to drift closed.
“Get some sleep, baby. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. And yeah… I do love you. Always, Harrington.”