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the fan above their heads creaks dangerously as it whirs around at the highest speed possible. minhee stares at the ceiling, letting the movements of the fan hypnotise him until his eyes unfocus and he’s looking at nothing in particular. dongpyo whines from where he is lying on the floor.
“minhee, your fan is so shit,” he complains. the other boys in the room hum in agreement and minhee rolls his eyes. “it’s literally about to fall on our heads with how fast its spinning and yet it isn’t doing a thing to keep the heat away!”
“go back home, then,” replies minhee. “you ungrateful brats come into my house, eat my food, piss on my persian rug - and still have the nerve to complain?” in his peripheral vision, he sees junho give him an exasperated look. hyeongjun snickers.
“well, we’re gonna be sweating all over your stupid persian rug, which, by the way,” says hyeongjun, pausing to pull out a strand of thread from the edge of the emerald green rug, “is ugly as hell. where did you even get this from? go ask for a refund.” dongpyo giggles and high-fives hyeongjun.
minhee sits up on his bed, eyes wide open. “what did you just say about my gorgeous rug, you bitch boy? you have no appreciation for art, you gross millennial!” at this, junho interjects with a we’re gen z, dumbass to which hyeongjun and dongpyo nod in agreement.
“minhee, for real though,” groans junho. “please turn the aircon on, we are actually going to die. i’ll buy you ice-cream for an entire week.”
“no.”
this results in dongpyo and hyeongjun screeching at minhee’s heartlessness (the reason he doesn’t care about the heat is that his heart is made of ice! yells dongpyo). junho comments that had eunsang been there, minhee would have had the aircon blasting hours before they got there. at this, minhee puts his foot on junho’s face. immediately, junho licks the underside of minhee’s foot, causing the latter to screech. all this while, hyeongjun and dongpyo are rolling around on the cramped floor of minhee’s small room and crying.
so when eunsang bursts into minhee’s room with no prior notice, holding a bag of snacks, he is welcomed by the sight of his four best friends screaming and fighting like children.
“what is going on here?”
at this, all four of them fall silent, staring at the new arrival. minhee sits up straight and gets off junho, straightening his shirt that had ridden up to reveal his abdomen and dusting off his shorts. junho snickers, so minhee makes sure to step on his fingers on his way to grab the snacks from eunsang.
“hey eunsang,” he breathes, waving at the red-haired boy. “how’d you come up?”
eunsang smiles his trademark gummy smile, the one where his eyes crinkle up and his smile lines deepen and a shallow dimple appears on his right cheek. “your mom saw me just as she was leaving for the mall, so she let me in,” he replies, and minhee feels his heart stutter for a second at the boy’s voice.
from behind minhee, hyeongjun whines: “eunsang, i’m so glad you’re here. minhee is so mean, he refuses to turn the air conditioner on. yell at him!”
eunsang giggles before wrapping his arms around minhee’s hips and resting his chin on the taller’s chest. he looks up at minhee, eyes sparkling. “minhee,” he says, dragging out the last syllable of his name to sound cute - and by god, it works, thinks minhee. “turn the air conditioner on, pretty please?” he blinks up at him like a doll, and minhee feels his eye twitch.
“alright,” he says, and eunsang grins at him before pulling away and joining the others on the floor with the snacks. minhee looks at the four boys on the floor with a soft smile on his face and then grumbles about having to find batteries for the aircon’s remote control.
//
minhee isn’t sure when eunsang’s every word became his command.
perhaps it was the summer when the group turned sixteen, on the night eunsang had met his eyes and smiled brightly as they each sipped on ice cold apple juice. it could have been at dongpyo’s brother’s wedding, where the two had held onto each other in excitement as they witnessed hyeongjun asking dongpyo out. or maybe it was on the first day of middle school when he met eunsang. at the time, eunsang’s hair was jet black, bangs swept to the side in an effort to look more punk, as junho had described it.
maybe eunsang has been the sun to minhee’s planet ever since they met, the latter revolving around and being pulled towards the former.
//
the gang has eliminated minhee’s house as a hangout spot option ever since the air-conditioner incident, and refuse to come over every time he invites them. minhee is not one to complain, of course, because his group of friends is made up of a bunch of parasites who double electricity and grocery store bills. so when the rest decide that they’ll be leeching onto hyeongjun, minhee is more than happy to follow in their parasitic tendencies.
the five boys are playing a heated game of just dance in the living room of the song residency and junho has come up with the genius idea of keeping eunsang and minhee on separate teams - the former being on his, of course. minhee catches on to junho’s evil plan but reminds himself that he still has the aces, hyeongjun and dongpyo, on his team.
apparently, hyeongjun and dongpyo also know of junho’s cruel cheat code and are visibly distressed when minhee goes against eunsang for instruction. minhee loses - why look at the girl on the screen when he could stare at the boy next to him? - to nobody’s surprise, of course.
eunsang and minhee flop down on the couch that has been pushed back to allow them room to move. neither of them says a word until eunsang scoots closer to minhee with a bag of m&m’s, offering him some. even then they sit in silence, occasionally humming along to the songs the others were dancing to. eunsang rests his head on minhee’s shoulder.
“you know, min,” he says, emptying a mini-pack of the candy into his mouth all at once. “when junho said i had to go against you, i thought i was gonna lose… but then i didn’t? was my dancing so ridiculous that you wouldn’t stop staring at me?”
minhee looks down at him, which is a huge mistake. eunsang is already looking up at him, chin resting on his shoulder, which means that their noses are barely a centimetre apart. additionally, eunsang’s eyes are sparkling as though they are a reflection of the night sky and his lips that are tinted blue from the m&m’s are drawn in a playful pout and god, minhee might as well die.
“of course not, sangie,” he responds, struggling to keep his voice from breaking. “you’re a great dancer; you could say i was, uh, entranced by you. don’t worry.”
eunsang giggles, obviously pleased. he pulls away from minhee, but not before pecking him on the tip of his nose.
minhee is glad that eunsang has been called up by junho to go against hyeongjun because had he still been sitting on the couch next to him, he would have felt the heat emanating from minhee’s entire body.
//
minhee doesn’t remember falling for eunsang. all he knows is that he’d been falling slowly until one day they were sitting in the library in complete silence, and minhee had looked up from his textbooks to see eunsang dozing off and oh fuck, oh shit - he was in love.
(junho had gagged and called him a wannabe hazel grace when he’d said that falling for eunsang happened slowly, and then all at once. to be fair, he had quoted her word for word.)
it went something like this - eunsang had asked him to accompany him to the school library during lunch so they could revise for the upcoming physics test. they’d fooled around for the first few minutes but soon settled into a comfortable silence filled only by the sound of turning pages. some time later, minhee was alerted by a low thump that his study partner had fallen asleep twenty minutes before a big test - and yet he couldn’t bring himself to wake eunsang up, for the boy looked so beautiful as he slept.
academics matter to minhee, so he really doesn’t appreciate it when he starts having Homosexual Thoughts* about the boy in front of him (also one of his best friends) while studying for a test.
(* - Homosexual Thoughts are incredibly dangerous thoughts to be having. these Thoughts usually revolve around wanting to kiss, hug or hold hands with someone and most certainly should not be entertained moments before a physics test.)
two summers have passed since that day, and minhee still dreams of waking eunsang up with a kiss.
//
they are at the town fair when minhee fucks up.
hyeongjun and dongpyo are being gross and coupley and sharing a tornado potato while junho takes pictures of eunsang. minhee, as always, is spacing out when eunsang sits down on the ground in front of him.
“minhee,” he says, plucking a strawberry out of his hand and putting it in minhee’s mouth. he puts his phone in front of minhee’s face, swiping through his photo gallery slowly. “what do you think of these pictures? does junho deserve the guillotine or not?”
minhee made a noise of surprise before eating the strawberry and laughing. no guillotine, he says, to eunsang’s pleasure and junho’s relief. minhee feels his heart warm at eunsang’s dazzling smile in the picture, the holographic star stickers on his cheekbones reflecting the flash of the camera.
eunsang puts the phone down, leaning in close until his face is barely centimeters away from minhee. minhee feels his throat dry up at the proximity of quite possibly the most beautiful boy he has ever seen.
“does that mean you think i’m pretty?”
eunsang does look pretty. gorgeous, even. in the light from the setting sun, his skin is painted with hues of golden. minhee leans back, placing his hands on the grass to steady himself. up close, he can see that eunsang’s eyes are alive with mirth and something else that minhee can’t quite place, dancing in his irises that have been transformed into pools of molten gold.
a beat of silence, and then, softly:
“eunsang, you’re always pretty.”
and then minhee tucks eunsang’s hair behind his ears, where his hand lingers for a moment too long - which is when minhee realises that he’s fucked up.
if dongpyo had been paying any attention to what was going on, he’d have taken a picture of minhee’s face to photoshop it as a ‘no thoughts, head empty’ meme. minhee felt his jaw drop, the realisation of what he’d done sinking in like the titanic sank into the north atlantic ocean. he took a split second to consider his options - he could pretend that it was a platonic thing which everybody did with their friends, or leave the country and start a new life away from everyone he knows.
the odds of eunsang accepting it as nothing but an act of platonic affection were close to none, so minhee makes a rational decision:
he bolts from the fairgrounds, leaving behind four confused boys.
//
of course, in true minhee fashion, he had dropped his bus pass somewhere while booking it out of the fair - so here he was, walking in the fairly empty streets while trying to swat mosquitoes away from his exposed arms and legs. he’d been so incredibly stupid - who does shit like that? evidently, he thinks, dumb bitches like me do. he hadn’t only made his crush on his best friend painfully obvious, but he’d also been irresponsible and misplaced his bus pass for which his mother definitely would beat his ass.
look on the bright side, says a voice in his head which sounds like dongpyo’s. count this as a vibe check from god!
minhee sighs in despair. firstly, he doesn’t even know what the hell a ‘vibe check’ even is. secondly, eunsang is so incredibly out of his league that it isn’t even funny. besides, even if he weren’t, confessing to him would put their friendship in jeopardy. if only he’d fallen for someone that wasn’t his best friend, everything would have been easier.
when his brother notices him walk into the living room without four other noisy boys trailing behind him, he acts as though he’s seen a ghost.
“minhee? what are you doing home? i thought you were going over to hyeongjun’s.”
“plan changed,” he says, sitting down on the couch next to seungyoun. “hyung, pass the chips.”
minhee knows that seungyoun has always been able to read him as though it were nothing. he’d been the first to figure it out whenever something was up with minhee, far before his best friends had even begun to think that something was wrong. but if seungyoun notices how heartbroken minhee is, he doesn’t say anything.
“here,” he says, shoving the bag of chips towards minhee. “grab another remote from the cabinet, we can play mario kart together if you aren’t tired.” minhee smiles gratefully: even if he were tired, there was no way he could’ve fallen asleep. minhee is thankful for seungyoun; he may be an overly energetic soundcloud rapper, but he’s the best brother ever - which is something that minhee will never tell him.
so they play mario kart for hours, biting back swears aimed at each other out of mutual respect - and because they would be in deep shit if their parents heard them cursing.
//
minhee wakes up earlier than usual the next day to a text from junho that was delivered late the previous night.
cha cha, 0323HRS
minhee
ur ass is grass
and i will mow it
slide, 0633HRS
wtf
and then, aside from that very ominous exchange, minhee does not communicate with the others for the next two days.
he spends forty-eight hours moping around the house, changing the subject whenever his family asks why he’s home. the pros of staying home all day are that a) he doesn’t have to go out in the heat and b) he gets to avoid eunsang. the downsides to this arrangement, however, are the facts that a) his brother has a boyfriend, and he’s walked in on seungyoun and wooseok making out at least three times, and b) his friends know where he lives.
so minhee has no right, really, to be as shocked as he is when hyeongjun, dongpyo and junho burst into his room without knocking or any prior notice of their arrival.
“listen up, you wet sock,” says hyeongjun, pushing minhee’s legs away until he has space to sit at the end of his bed. dongpyo climbs into his lap and junho takes a seat on his spinny chair. “this is an intervention.”
minhee whines. “what did i do? i’ve just been feeling unwell recently, which is why i haven’t hung out with you guys!” it’s a lie, and everyone in the room seems to know.
“what did you do? you absolute nutsack,” says junho, incredulous. “you can’t just call eunsang pretty, brush his hair back like you’re the alpha male lead of some cheesy ass k-drama and then leave. fuck kinda dude are you?”
minhee stares down at his fingers. that had been a dick move, but then again, what was he supposed to do? confess to a boy who he was a hundred percent sure didn’t like him back? when he voices these thoughts, all three boys groan out loud.
“you have no idea of the monster you’ve created,” says dongpyo. “he’s been listening to truth hurts on repeat ever since the day at the fair. all respect to lizzo, that song slaps, but do you know how annoying it is to have why men great till they gotta be great playing in your head like a broken record?”
hyeongjun agrees with his boyfriend. “it’s really annoying, let me tell you that.”
junho looks at him and asks in a soft voice, “do you know what that means, minhee? it means he likes you, you disaster gay!”
the very idea that eunsang likes minhee back is a revelation to end all revelations. his jaw drops: there is no way eunsang could like him back! if he did, he’d have done or said something to hint at it. minhee sits in a stunned silence for a few moments before speaking.
“i don’t believe you,” he says, quickly continuing for before any of them have a chance to interrupt. “even if you are correct and he does like me, he probably hates me by now for what i did. so honestly, not very sure about what you want me to do.”
the three boys share a look which seems to say oh my god, how are we friends with this idiot? frankly, this offends minhee - they are sitting in his house, in his room, and yet have the nerve to insult him, which is disrespectful on so many levels.
“you confess to him, you bumbling fool,” says a new voice from the door. when minhee looks up, it’s seungyoun.
“you guys should go downstairs,” he says, gesturing towards hyeongjun, junho and dongpyo. “and send eunsang up here. he’s watching a movie with wooseok right now, but i don’t think he’s too interested.”
at this, minhee chokes on his saliva. “eunsang’s here? and none of you assholes decided to tell me? what the fuck?” junho simply shrugs before he leads the others out of the room and minhee is left alone to try and make sense of his feelings.
he likes eunsang, he really does, but there’s so much that can go wrong when one dates their best friend. obviously, he’d be putting his friendship with eunsang in jeopardy but the dynamic of the whole group could also end up being affected by him. besides, what if the others were lying and eunsang doesn’t actually like him and was just listening to the song because he likes it?
there’s too many questions to answer and too little time - just when minhee starts to think about what he wants to say to eunsang, the former knocks on the door that’s been left wide open and steps in, closing the door behind himself. they sit on the bed, not facing each other, and minhee gulps before tentatively shuffling closer to eunsang.
“hi, minhee.”
“hey.”
minhee can hear the stairs creaking, and it’s only obvious that his friends are inching closer to the door to eavesdrop on them. but then someone yells, and the meddlers stomp down the stairs until all he can hear is faint laughter and squealing.
“do you hate me, min?”
minhee startles at the sudden question, and turns to look at eunsang. he’s looking at the floor, but the quiver in his voice has given away that he’s near tears. minhee wants to die.
“what? oh… of course not, eunsang,” he says, shuffling closer to the boy and placing a tentative hand on his shoulder.
eunsang leans into his touch, and minhee melts. “then why’d you run away? did i make you uncomfortable because i was sitting so close to you?”
this is when eunsang turns and looks up at minhee, who feels his gut twist with guilt. his cheeks are stained with tears which make the mascara coating eunsang’s eyelashes run and collect right under his eyes, enhancing his purple-blue eyebags. minhee realises that eunsang must have not been sleeping recently, because the fatigue is evident on his face.
“no. oh my god, no! you could never make me uncomfortable.” eunsang takes his bottom lip between his teeth and leans in until his head is tucked into the junction between minhee’s neck and shoulder.
“okay, but why did you run away?”
minhee exhales deeply, bringing a hand up to cradle the back of eunsang’s neck and settling the other on his lower back.
“i’m sorry about that, i really am,” he says, steeling his nerves. just say it, minhee. he thinks to himself, he’s not looking at you, just pretend he isn’t here and you’re just dreaming up a scenario. he clears his throat.
“see, eunsang, i… ah, what the hell. i like you, more than as a friend. i really, really like you, and i’ve been trying to hide it for two years now. whenever i look at you, my chest feels tight and it’s as though i can’t breathe when you’re next to me. these two years have been so difficult because fuck, you’re perfect. everything you do sets my heart on fire. i went through all of this only to expose my dumb crush on you by acting like a lame k-drama lead, and it made me panic because you… you’re lee eunsang, and i’m me. there’s no reason for you to like me the way i like you, because i’m a weirdo who represses his emotions and pushes away everyone he loves. so really, there’s no point in me telling you that i-!”
“minhee.”
“yeah. huh?”
“shut up.”
and then eunsang kisses him, lips enveloping minhee’s bottom lip. he tastes of strawberry ice cream, his mother’s chocolate muffins and a hint of salted popcorn - a mixture that shouldn’t be making minhee this giddy.
eunsang leans back until his back hits the low railing at the foot of minhee’s bed, pulling the other boy by his collar so that minhee is hovering over eunsang, his arms caging eunsang in. it’s a compromising position, but their kiss remains nothing but sweet.
when minhee draws back, he feels his heart stutter at how close eunsang is; eunsang's eyes twinkle extra bright with the reflection from the lights in minhee’s bedroom dancing in his warm brown irises. minhee traces the downward curve of eunsang’s nose with a fingertip as light as a feather, making his way down to his lips. eunsang giggles and kisses minhee’s finger, causing the former to blush and hide his face in eunsang’s neck.
“minhee, do you… maybe wanna go out with me? like on a date?”
minhee lifts his head to look at eunsang and blinks slowly, before his jaw drops.
“wait, you like me back?”
eunsang bursts into laughter and minhee scowls at the sound of junho yelling kang minhee, you oblivious dumbass right outside his door. minhee wants to throw a dictionary in his face and tell him to look up the word ‘privacy’ because he obviously has not been able to grasp the concept.
“kang minhee,” says eunsang, cupping minhee’s cheeks. “i just kissed you. of course i like you back, dummy.”
//
EPILOGUE
november brings with it insanely cold mornings warmed slightly only by the watery winter sun and also an excited song hyeongjun, who skips down the school corridors announcing that it's his birthday month on the first day of of the month. dongpyo, who is another teenager with zero self-respect, makes sure to cheerfully threaten everyone into setting a reminder on their phones so they may blow hyeongjun’s unused facebook page up with birthday wishes. eunsang, minhee and junho look the other way and pretend to not know the other two.
november also marks two months since eunsang and minhee confessed to each other, and also a whole one month since they officially started going out. his best friends and boyfriend still taunt minhee with how oblivious he used to be, but when they walk back home eunsang reassures minhee that his obliviousness is adorable and kisses the frown off of his face.
so, minhee guesses, all’s well that ends well.