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The memories of the match that had just ended were passing through Takao's mind, like the sequences of an old scratched film. Again and again, the scenes he just went through were coming back to his mind, and he was unable to stop the thread of his thoughts.
Takao did not realize what had happened. Or rather, he didn't want to realize. They had lost. Shuutoku had lost. Despite all their efforts, despite their training, despite the new improvised pass he had developed with Midorima, they had been defeated by Rakuzan. And all of that because of Akashi Seijuurou, the former captain of the miracle generation, and his damn "emperor eyes", as he called them. Just that, huh? He seemed to enjoy that. To bend people to his will, to despise them, to humiliate them.
Takao was feeling the presence of his team walking by his side, as they walked up the hallway, away from the basketball court. They could still hear the applause and the shouting of the crowd. That was not meant for them. Not this time.
He felt helpless, useless, and weak. He had failed his team by not being strong enough to beat his opponents. He had failed in his task, he had not done justice to the title of Shuutoku, and especially not to Shin-chan, who was walking silently behind him.
Takao shook himself awake. If he could do anything, it was now. He had to be strong for his friend.
Adopting his favorite posture with his arms folded behind his head, Takao turned to the green-haired basketball player with a big smile, which almost disappeared when he saw the expression of his teammate. Midorima was walking slowly, his face was dark and his eyes were lost in the vagueness. Takao almost gave up at the sight of his friend. He seemed even more inaccessible than usual.
"No. Don't back up. You at least owe him that."
He slowed down so he could walk up to his friend.
"Huh? Shin-chan, are you heartbroken and stuff?"
Midorima continued to look ahead, showing no sign that he had heard him. Takao felt his own breathing quicken, and his hands tremble behind his head.
"But... Sorry..."
He let his arms fall back down his body, and felt his voice break.
"I don't think... I can cheer you up just now."
And then he lost it. He felt tears running down his cheeks as he closed his eyes, trying to keep his sobs from bursting. He clenched his teeth and contracted his limbs, shaking from anger, sadness, and disappointment.
"Same for me."
He raised his head slightly to look at Midorima, who had just spoken. The latter was now looking up, with the same expression on his face. But now, in his eyes... Was it-
"It is regretful to lose... after all..."
While pronouncing these words, a few tears escaped his eyes. Well, that was unexpecting, even in this situation. Shin-chan, losing it and crying? He spent time with him every day, but he had never seen him express his emotions like that.
Takao did not want to see that. It was his fault if Midorima was crying. It was his fault if they had lost. He had disappointed his team. He turned his head away, trying to wipe out his tears.
His thoughts were interrupted when they arrived in the locker room, the first reflex of the team being to collapse on the benches. Takao sat down next to Midorima, still not daring to look at him, afraid of reading in his eyes the disappointment he had to feel towards his partner.
The players remained silent a few minutes, not daring to speak. The noise of the crowd did not reach them anymore. That was a relief. Their defeat was already quite present in their minds.
To Takao's surprise, it was Midorima who spoke first, in a hoarse voice. He was not crying anymore, but looked at his team with a sad and distant look.
"All of you, please listen. I... I apologize. I did not fulfill my role as the ace of the team. My game was not enough this time, and that led to our defeat. Forgive me."
The basketball players looked at him, open-mouthed. Some even surprised themselves to smile, completely threw off balance. Midorima Shintarou was apologizing. It was not something they got to see every day.
The captain of the team, Ootsubo, spoke while resting his fists on his knees.
"Stop saying such bullshit. You were better than ever, and you gave us hope during this game. We should rather thank you. Without you, we probably would not have been able to face Akashi."
Ootsubo got up and looked at his distressed players.
"Listen to me. I know you are disappointed. But it was a good match, and I'm proud of you all. I'm counting on you to win next year. And don't you dare giving up on your efforts, or I'm remaining your captain one more year just so I can train you until you all die."
Takao let out a small laugh.
"Oh no, have pity on us..."
Ootsubo thanked him with a glare, before speaking to the exhausted players again.
"Come on! We lost a battle, but not the war. We are Shuutoku, one of the three kings of Tokyo. We do not give up for a simple defeat."
The players nodded, smiling at these words, and began to change. Takao sighed and started to do the same, glancing worriedly at Midorima, who was slowly gathering his stuff. Gradually, the locker room emptied, until only Takao and Midorima remained, sitting next to each other in the most complete silence. The two friends had apparently not planned to follow their teammates.
Takao kept his eyes fixed on the ground between his feet, as he wrung his hands nervously, dreading the inevitable interaction that would follow that silence.
"I have to say something. Anything. I have to explain myself..."
He took a deep breath, counted to three, and...
"SHIN-CHAN!"
Takao's eyes widened. The interjection had come out of his mouth much louder than he would have liked it to. Midorima looked at him in surprise, waiting for him to continue.
"Huh... I..."
Takao was completely destabilized by the green gaze of his friend, still a little red because of the crying.
"Shin-chan, I... wanted to apologize."
His friend frowned, tilting his head, not seeing what Takao wanted to say.
"I ... My game was really not enough. I should have been able to make you more passes, I should have been faster, and, well... Yeah, there are many things I should have done. You're probably disappointed in me, but I promise you to practice more. To be able to meet your expectations next time. I won't disappoint you anymore."
His voice got stuck in his throat, and, unable to support his friend's gaze, he lowered his head, blinking to drive away the tears.
A few seconds passed, until he heard Midorima sigh. Takao looked up at him, surprised.
Shuutoku's ace sat next to him, facing him. The closeness of the gesture made Takao's throat tighten, and fear what would follow. The green-haired player stared at him for a few seconds, shook his head, and, looking away...
"It was not a lucky day for cancer today."
Takao raised his eyebrows.
"Excuse-me?" ?
"It was not a lucky day for the astrological sign of cancer. Not yours either. So it's not your fault if we lost."
"You mean that if we lost, it's because of our astrological signs, and not because of this Akashi psychopath?"
Midorima nodded, looking more serious than ever.
Takao could not believe what he was hearing. He remained silent for a few seconds, then, without being able to hold on any longer, he burst out laughing. He could barely speak.
"You... yeah, I suppose you're right, that... that must be it."
Laughing like that felt good. He was very grateful to Shin-chan, who was staring at him from the corner of his eye, with a half-pissed, half-amused look, clearly aware that Takao did not take him seriously.
Takao finally caught his breath, and gave a smile to his friend. Midorima cleared his throat.
"Takao, listen to me. I know what you think about this game, but I..."
He frowned. Takao tilted his head, intrigued.
"You're wrong, when you say we lost because of you. It's the opposite, actually. I strongly believe that we could not have managed to keep pace without you, you... it's thanks to you that... I was able to play like that, and..."
Midorima stammered, searching for words, clearly not comfortable. Takao could not help but find him adorable, embarrassed as he was. His smile grew as his partner spoke.
"I'm not good at these things, but... I thank you for supporting me the way you do, even if I do not always understand the way you see things. Thanks to you I can give the best of myself. Do not say that you are useless, because in my opinion, you're quite the opposite."
Maybe fatigue played a role, but Takao felt tears form again in his eyes. He wiped them quickly, unable to erase the smile from his face. Then, without being able to stop himself, he approached Midorima in one movement and threw his arms around his neck, burying his head against his shoulder. He felt him freeze at the sudden contact for a few seconds, obviously not expecting this gesture from Takao. Eventually, he started breathing again and returned the gesture of affection by tying his arms around his friend's waist.
They remained in that position for a long time, while tears continued to escape Takao's eyes. He ended up murmuring in his partner's ear:
"Thank you, Shin-chan."
Midorima tightened his grip a few seconds before moving away from Takao to look into his eyes. He put his hand on his cheek to wipe away the last tears that were beginning to dry, before addressing him one of his rare smiles, the ones he usually reserved for basketball games.
Takao gladly returned the smile.
"We'll win next time, the two of us.
"Do you mean with the team?" Takao rolled his eyes and laughed.
"Yes, Shin-chan, with the team too."
Midorima nodded, and dropped his hand on his knee, without getting away from Takao.
Looking at his teammate's face, Takao thought about all they had gone through together. As soon as they met, they could have been enemies, but he had preferred to be recognized by the former player of the miracle generation of Teikou. He did not regret his choice. Working with him had brought him so much this year. He would change their relationship for nothing in the world. Well...
Takao reflected on the feelings he had developed for Shin-chan during this year. During their training, their "quarreling" and their ongoing mutual help. He had decided to put them aside, not wanting to embarrass his friend or distract him from his role as team ace. But it was hard to think of that resolution now, when their faces were only inches apart.
Takao usually did not think much about what he was doing before doing it. It was one of his weak points, he knew it, but he couldn't help it.
He grabbed his partner's hand, who looked at him with surprise.
"You promise not to panic?"
"What? What do y-"
His question was interrupted by Takao's lips pressed against his, stifling his words.
Takao's first thought was that Midorima's lips were very soft. How cliche. The second made him panic.
"Oh shit, shit, shit, he's not moving."
Takao moved a few inches away, ready to apologize and preparing for the possibility of being violently pushed off the bench. Before he could utter a single word, he was stopped by Midorima's hands who slipped behind his neck and pulled him towards him, sealing their lips again.
The kiss was pretty chaste compared to what Takao had already experienced in the past, but it was by far the most pleasant. He moved away regularly to change the tilt of his head and kiss Shin-chan again, burying his hands in the green hair of his partner, who caressed his cheek with his fingertips.
Their cheeks were red when they finally broke apart, pressing their foreheads against the other's. Takao knew he was smiling like an idiot, but that was the last of his worries. He kissed his friend's cheek and snuggled his head against his neck again.
Then the realization hit him. He had just kissed Midorima Shintarou, the basketball prodigy, for whom he had feelings for several months. And above all, he had been kissed back. His feelings had not been rejected. He did not need to hand on his possessions to his family and throw himself out of the window out of shame. What a relief!
Shin-chan shook his shoulder, the one on which Takao was resting.
"Hey, I can hear you thinking. What's going on?"
"Nothing nothing. You just smell really good. How can you smell this good, seriously? We just played a hell of a game!"
Midorima sighed and shook his head, regaining his usual scowl, the one he had when Takao said something silly. But his eyes were full of affection when he looked at Takao.
The latter reluctantly detached himself from his partner (now, he hoped, in every sense of the word). He stood up and held out his hand, smiling. Midorima smiled back and grabbed his hand. They left the locker room with their fingers entwined, both still numb by what had just happened.
Before going out, Takao's last thought was that losing to Akashi was perhaps not the worst thing that could have happened to them, after all.