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Amy stared incredulously at the two Doctors. "Hello Pond..."
"What do you think of..."
"...us together on the TARDIS..."
"...together like..."
"...DNA that accidentally got split on a Loom..."
"...or twins..."
"...or..."
"Stop it!" shouted Amy.
Both Doctors cocked their heads. "You, the first Doctor. What were you thinking bringing him here?"
"The question, Pond, is what were we thinking?" replied the Doctor.
"How do we differentiate between you two?" asked Rory slightly nauseous from the whole ordeal.
"Um... well, you can call me Ganger ... no that's rubbish how about Doctor Smith... no, can't do that. It will remind me of Martha. How about... um... well, just Ganger Doctor will have to do for now," said the Ganger Doctor feeling a little defeated.
"Well, Ponds, off to bed. I have to go pick up River," the Doctor said ushering them off with his hands.
The Ganger Doctor rushed to the console. "What're you doing?" asked the Doctor.
"Picking up my wife from prison, of course. We had a special evening planned," the Ganger Doctor said smiling.
"No, no, I had a special evening planned with my wife," whined the Doctor.
"To be fair, Doctor, she is his wife too," reasoned Rory reveling in the fact that the Doctor has to fight himself for his own wife.
"No, I married River."
"So did he," shot back Rory, "You recreated him after your death, didn't you?"
The Doctor looked a little defeated. "Yeah."
"Well then, River's his too."
"But it's not..."
"Doctor..." cut in Amy.
"Not now, Pond. It's not..."
"Doctor, really I think..."
"Not now, Pond! It's not..."
"Doctor, look," Amy finally spit out pointing in the direction of the TARDIS doors which were mysteriously open.
The Doctor ran headlong outside the door, and Amy and Rory could hear him yell, "No, you do not snog my wife!"
Amy started giggling uncontrollably, and Rory held her laughing. Shortly afterwards, the Doctor and the Ganger Doctor appeared on the TARDIS with River trailing behind them. The Doctor swung around to face River, "River, you look beautiful tonight," he said.
"Thank you, Sweetie," replied River.
"Oh, River, I was planning on taking you to see something stunning, but I suppose all you have to do to see something stunning is look in a mirror," commented the Ganger Doctor.
"Thank you too, Sweetie," said River kissing him.
"Oi! River, I'm your husband!" exclaimed the Doctor.
"I know. That's why I kissed you."
"No, you kissed my ganger."
"You are me, and I am you, remember?" said the Ganger Doctor quite pleased with himself.
The Doctor let out a frustrated grunt. "Well, dear, at least you can have the man that can't even use a sonic screwdriver, or you can have a man that can turn away armies at the sound of his name," he said through gritted teeth.
The Ganger Doctor wrapped his arm around River's waist. "Yes, that speech I made at Stonehenge was quite brilliant. I made it up right on the spot actually. The whole lot of them just turned away in fear of me... everyone I meet is afraid of me at some point... except you, you bad, bad girl," the Ganger Doctor said kissing her on her cheek.
"Now that's enough!" shouted the Doctor.
"Doctor, let yourself go out on a date with River," said Rory enjoying the tension.
"Yeah, Raggedy Man. How about you go on a date with River, and you can stay here with us," suggested Amy.
The Doctor whirled around. "But I want to go on a date with River," he whined.
"I think you just did," Rory pointed out as the TARDIS doors slammed shut behind the Doctor.
The Doctor opened the doors, but no one was there. "River? River? RIVER!"
Three hours later, the Doctor was leaning on the console looking anxiously at the TARDIS doors. In a burst of laughter and smiles, Rive and the Ganger Doctor came through the doors of the TARDIS holding hands. "You! Look at you. You've destabilized and are dripping Flesh- goo all over the TARDIS floors. Go... clean yourself up or something," the Doctor said trying to wave the Ganger Doctor off with his hands.
"I'm fine. See?" asked the Ganger Doctor as his features began filling back in though his eyes remained an eerie blue and red- rimmed.
The Doctor shot him an annoyed look, and he put up his hands and walked down a corridor. River kissed the Doctor's ganger goodnight, and the Doctor felt a little dejected. Finally, she approached the console where the Doctor was looking at her like a kicked puppy. "You cheated on me," he said.
"With you."
"Ganger me."
"So?"
"So... It's not fair."
"It's fair to me. Ganger you is so much fun."
"But he's me!"
"That's the point."
"River Song, you really make me do crazy things," the Doctor mumbled as he grabbed her in for a bruising kiss.
Amy's hands were folded across her chest, and her weight was shifted to one side. "And that is why, Doctor, and you too River, cannot have a ganger Doctor. It just wouldn't be right on so many levels," she concluded.
River and the Doctor looked at each other silently. The Doctor was the first to break the silence, "You know, River, she does have a point."
"But imagine two of you, Sweetie. I could torture the ganger after I'm done wearing you out," River said smiling up at the Doctor.
The Doctor turned to her and settled his hands on her hips. "Yeah? Well, maybe I should make a ganger of you. I could have your ganger to spend the rest of the night with after I drop you back at Stormcage," he quipped grinning at her.
"Oh I hate you," River said wriggling out of his grasp and briskly walking away from him.
The Doctor let out a laugh. "No you don't!"