Work Text:
Michael: Guys, I have something to tell you.
Ashton: Why did you start a new chat?
Luke: Without Calum?
Michael: It's about Calum.
Ashton: Is it bad?
Luke: Are you going to break up with him or something?!?!
Luke: I'm going to smack the hair dye out of you!
Michael: What?! No!!! No!!! Please don't. This galactic universe look I got going on took a long time to perfect.
Michael: If there's a world where I break up with Calum, I don't want to live in that world!
Ashton: So what's this about?
Luke: Is it worth interrupted our hippity dippity?
Michael: Yes... and gross.
Michael: Anyway I've been thinking whilst Calum was at his mum's that I should get him a promise ring. You know, since we're kind of young for marriage? And the ring is kind of like a pre-engagement?
Ashton: You just brought Lukey to tears.
Michael: Awe, thanks. But I have a huge problem.
Luke: And I'm to assume it's the lack of money in your bank account?
Michael: No. I have plenty of money. And a rainy day fund in case something happens to Calum. But money's not the issue.
Ashton: Then what is it? And, in case something happens to Calum?
Luke: What about you?
Michael: I'd rather it be Calum that got the coverage than me. He's more important.
Luke: I'm blubbering right now. Like wtf. You are so selfless when it comes to Calum.
Ashton: You've moved him.
Michael: Hehe, anyway, I've grown to like two rings. And I can't decide which one Cal will like better. I got a picture of each, and I want you two to pick one out.
Luke: THE FEELS!!! OMG I'M TXTING LIKE A 12 YEAR OLD NOW!!!
Ashton: How exciting. I feel like I'm Heidi Klum and this is Project Runway!
Michael: Can I get your opinion now?
Luke: Oh! Yeah, ok, yeah!!!
Ashton: Forgive, Luke. He's just really happy for you both.
Calum: Now, Calum is not to know about this.
Ashton: Where is Calum?
Michael: In bed asleep. I fucked him pretty well if I do say so myself.
Luke: And where are you?
Michael: Dressed and in the jewelry store. Now help me pick!!!
Ashton: We're naked.
Michael: I took pictures, I can send them to you. And you could judge them then go back to roughing it up, yeah?
Luke: Omg, this is the sweetest thing ever!!!
Ashton: For now.
Michael: (Incoming Picture Messages)
Luke: Oh my gosh they're both so pretty! Idk which one is prettier!!!
Ashton: I feel like the first one would be more Calum's style. From the numerous amounts of times I've met him, I could tell he doesn't like over-the-top and flashy.
Luke: Hmm... I agree. Calum may not like that super big rock in the middle as much as the simple line of smaller ones.
Michael: Awesome, I can't wait to buy it. Bye lads, enjoy your sexy time!!!
Ashton: You know, this is the nicest Michael's ever been to us.
Luke: I know right? It's nice.
Ashton: Wait 'til everything goes back to normal. He'll be back to mean.
Luke: He's not mean to Calum.
Ashton: Because he loves Calum. If he's mean to him, he'll end up pushing him away. And he doesn't want that.
Luke: I don't even want that. But for now, let's just pray Calum says yes.
Ashton: You know, something just dawned on me.
Luke: What is it?
Ashton: You and I are texting.
Luke: ... yes?
Ashton: And we're right next to each other.
Luke: Yes.
Ashton: Why?
Luke: I don't know. Wanna cuddle me?
Ashton: I thought you'd never ask.
Michael: You dolts better delete this conversation so Calum doesn't see it or I'll shove my foot up your asses!
Luke: Aaaand, he's back.