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Are you nervous?
Dan wants to ask, but he doesn't. Phil doesn't seem nervous right now, chatting away about their impending meeting. He seems so excited to finally meet Dan, and that makes Dan feel equal parts disbelieving and ecstatic.
He's excited to meet Phil too, of course - biggest understatement ever - but he can't help his nerves. This feels important, significant, and he doesn't want to fuck it up. Not that he thinks it'll go badly - they've already talked so much, about so many things. Their talks have already become his favourite part of every day - at first he felt bad about dragging their calls out, but did it anyway. When he'd eventually decided he might be overstaying his welcome, he'd made overtures to wrap it up, and Phil had seemed disappointed. Dan had tentatively suggested he could stay on the line after all, and the readiness with which Phil agreed had been more of a relief than he'd expected.
Since then, their calls had grown in length, to three, four, five hours, growing an easy companionship and a sense of comfort. He wasn't annoying Phil, or taking up too much of his time - Phil wanted to stay on the call just as much as he did.
But would it transfer to real life?
"Dan?"
"Sorry," he said. "Miles away."
"Are you okay?"
Dan was touched at his concern, far more accustomed to friends saying "Oi. Howell," and throwing things at him to get his attention.
"Yeah," he said. "I was just thinking about what I need to bring."
"You don't need much. Just yourself."
"And a toothbrush."
"Oh, yeah," said Phil. "I guess. Though we have spares."
''And the tickets."
"Definitely the most important thing. Well, the one to get here, anyway. If you forgot the one to get home, then - oh well." He shrugged, grinning, and Dan smiled back.
"Did you unpack yet?" he asked. Phil had just returned from Dublin, and had mentioned repeatedly how he was still living out of the suitcase he'd taken.
"Er," said Phil, peering into the off-screen corner of his bedroom. "Sort of. Mostly."
"Phil."
"Okay, no, I haven't," Phil admitted. "But I've been cleaning! And talking to you."
"You don't have to clean for my benefit."
"Trust me, I did," said Phil. "It's for my benefit as well, anyway." He looked around the room again.
"Oh yeah, my dad got the sofa bed out before they left," he said offhandedly. "So - I'll make it up. If you want." He didn't meet Dan's gaze for a moment.
"Oh," said Dan. "Um. Sure. Thanks."
"I mean," said Phil. "Unless we fall asleep watching movies on my bed, or something."
"Sounds quite likely, to be honest."
"Definitely. But yeah, it's there. If we need it." He looked over at the sofa bed again, as though its presence in his room was distasteful. Dan bit back a laugh.
"Thanks," he said again.
"Since I have to be on a train in - ” Dan glanced at the time. "Seven hours, I should probably pack."
"And sleep."
"Eh," shrugged Dan. “I can nap on the train. You'll have to buy me a coffee when I arrive so I'm not dozy all day, though."
"Deal. First stop tomorrow - coffee."
"I should let you go, I suppose," said Dan reluctantly.
"You don't have to," said Phil. "I was just gonna get ready for bed. Want some music?"
"Okay. You choose."
Phil scrolled through his playlists, chewing slightly on his bottom lip.
Dan took a moment to watch him, unobserved. In just over twelve hours from now, he'd be seeing this face for real, right in front of him.
Phil's music started playing, and Dan instinctively tapped at his volume key to lower it. It was late, but he wouldn't necessarily want anyone in the house hearing it at any time of day. There might be questions, and he didn't care to answer them yet. He'd mentioned visiting a mate for a couple of days, and that had sufficed. There hadn't been any follow-up questions.
We trust you, his mum had said. Have fun!
“Okay," he said, and Phil glanced up at him. "Packing beginnu."
He hauled himself off his bed and dug out his rucksack, emptying it of receipts, loose change and his tangled headphones, before slowly, quietly opening his drawers to dig out a couple of t-shirts. Phil tapped away on his laptop in the background, and Dan hummed along to the music as he gave a few of his favourite shirts the sniff test.
The winning shirts went into the bag along with some clean underwear. What else?
Dan looked down at himself. Pyjamas. He didn't usually wear pyjamas to sleep, and Phil knew that, but that might be a bit much for his first night at Phil's place. Or - maybe it wouldn't?
He glanced over at his laptop, listening to Phil's tap-tap-tap mingled with his soft music. He could ask. But - somehow, he didn't want to give Phil the impression that he was just visiting for a hookup. Not that he thought Phil would think that, necessarily, after all their talks and messages, and not that he didn't want that with him, if he did too, eventually ...
Before his thoughts could spiral any further, he grabbed a pair of clean pyjamas and stuffed them into his bag.
He'd sort his washbag in the morning, so he puttered around the room grabbing a few other bits - phone charger, wallet, comb. He glanced at his straighteners.
"Phil?" he said, leaning in to view. "Should I bring my straighteners?"
"You can use mine, if you like," said Phil. "But I'd like to see your curly hair in person, you know."
Dan snorted.
"No, you wouldn't," he said. "It's horrific. I'll use yours. Thanks."
"It looked cute in that picture you posted."
"Cute," said Dan derisively. "That's not exactly what I was going for."
"Well, you are," said Phil sleepily. "Sorry, I don't make the rules." He yawned.
"Go to sleep, Phil," said Dan fondly. "I don't want you falling asleep on me all day tomorrow."
"I'd like to fall asleep on you, though," said Phil, rubbing one eye with the back of his fist. God, he was adorable.
"Well, you can if you want, but not in the middle of the day," said Dan. Phil pouted.
"Okay," he relented. "Be right back."
He disappeared from view, and Dan checked the train tickets were still in his wallet for the umpteenth time.
He turned off his light, got into bed, laptop balanced on his thighs, and Phil returned.
"All set?" said Phil, the view shifting as he got into bed himself.
"Yep," said Dan. "All good."
"Alarm?"
“Oh, shit, yeah," said Dan. "One sec."
He set the time, grimacing internally.
"I wouldn't get up at this ungodly hour for many people, you know. Probably no one else but you, actually."
"I'm honoured."
"You should be."
"We can sleep in on Tuesday." He yawned again.
"Night night, then," said Dan, settling down in bed.
"Goodnight," said Phil, his face only illuminated by his laptop screen.
"So crazy that when we next say goodnight, it'll be in the same room.'
"I know. I wish it was now."
“Me too. But it's only a few more hours."
"Can we leave it on for a bit?" said Phil.
“Sure," said Dan. "But my battery's about to die. I'll leave it as long as I can."
"Thanks."
Dan lowered his screen's brightness as much as he could until Phil was barely visible, and settled into his pillow. They really would be going to sleep in the same room tomorrow. Maybe even in the same bed...
"Night, Phil," he said, eyes closing. He imagined an arm around his waist, a warm body pressed against his.
"Night, Dan."
Phil hated waiting.
By the time he'd woken up, his laptop dead beside him, Dan had already sent him an excited ONTHETRAIN :D:D:D message, followed by wake up you lazy oaf. After not getting any attention from Phil, he'd also tweeted the former.
Phil had arrived at the station extra early, unable to sit around at home and wait any more, which had made the wait at the station even longer. He'd done a couple of laps of the concourse, wandered aimlessly around WHSmith, bought a bottle of Coke, texted Dan, and finally taken up residence on a bench. The whole wait so far had probably been about twenty minutes, but to Phil it felt like hours.
He glanced at the arrivals board again. Dan's train was still on time, due in about ten minutes. His phone buzzed.
nearly there!! :D texted Dan. where shall i meet you?
:D <3, Phil replied. l'll wait at the ticket barrier!
okay! 5 mins :o
Phil's stomach lurched, not unpleasantly. It was time.
eeee! see you soooooooon! <3 he replied.
<333
Phil shifted on the hard bench. The train due just before Dan’s arrived and left, and then, only two minutes late - the longest two minutes of Phil’s life - his train arrived. Phil stepped aside slightly to let the people exiting through the barriers past, scanning the crowd.
And there he was.
He spotted Dan before Dan spotted him, walking along in the midst of the other travellers, looking for him. He stepped forward, feeling the broad grin he couldn't hide widening, and Dan saw him.
His face lit up in recognition. Beaming, he finally made his way over to Phil, giving a little, cute wave.
Phil had wondered earlier if he should offer a hug right away. In fact, he’d been thinking about it all morning - should he hug him right away? A handshake would be a bit weird, they knew each other too well. Too formal. And what should he say? What would it actually feel like to be together?
When the moment came, though, there was no question, and no hesitation. Dan walked into his open arms, and it felt right.
“Hello!” said Dan brightly, his voice shaking slightly. “I made it!”
Phil breathed Dan in. He squeezed a little tighter for a moment before releasing him, and pulled back to look at him properly.
He was taller than Phil had imagined, even though Dan had mentioned his tallness quite a few times during their chats. He hadn’t imagined being able to look him in the eye for some reason, and he’d imagined quite a lot of things where Dan was concerned.
He was even lovelier in person than through blurry Skype calls and Dailybooth photos, especially the huge, happy smile currently gracing his face.
“Hi,” he said back, still grinning. He reluctantly stepped out of the hug, raking his fingers down Dan’s arm. Dan glanced down at Phil’s hand.
“Raaarrrr,” said Phil. He wasn’t quite sure why he did it; he just needed to do something with the nervous energy coursing through him, and the need to touch Dan was almost overwhelming now he was actually here.
“Is that a Phil greeting?” said Dan.
“Yep.”
“Oh, okay. Raaarrrr,” replied Dan, curling his hands into claws.
Phil’s heart seemed to clench in his chest. He couldn’t seem to stop smiling.
“Journey okay?” he asked.
“Yep,” said Dan. “Aside from the usual train weirdos.”
“I’m an expert on train weirdos.”
“Any advice?”
“Hmm - don’t make eye contact.”
They both burst out laughing. It wasn’t that funny, Phil thought, but nevertheless, laughing with Dan felt really, really good - it always did, but something about hearing that laugh in person was magical.
“So,” said Dan. “Where are we headed?”
“Didn’t we say coffee?” said Phil.
“Oh my God, yes,” said Dan. “I’m practically a zombie.”
“Well, you don’t look zombified yet,” said Phil. “Did you manage to sleep on the train?”
“With train weirdos eyeing my tender body? Who knows that they’d have done to me in my sleep.”
“Eww, Dan.”
“I thought you were an expert? You know the sort of weird things they get up to.”
“True,” he said. “Nobody wants to be train-sleep-molested.”
“Exactly!”
“Okay,” said Phil. “Coffee!”
“Lead the way,” said Dan, bumping Phil’s shoulder with his own as they headed towards the station exit.
Dan peered out into the darkness - or what little of it he could see through the steamed-up bus window. Aside from a few streetlights, there was nothing much to see - they'd long since left the city behind and were now making their way towards Phil's town.
He was keen to be properly alone with Phil after the packed day they'd had. He'd loved every moment, and while he didn't want it to end, the idea of being alone with Phil at his house was incredibly appealing.
They'd started their day by going for coffee - Dan needed the caffeine, but the best part was finally being able to sit next to Phil, thighs touching, hear his voice properly, and just laugh about everything and nothing.
Any concerns Dan might have had about things being awkward between them in person to begin with evaporated almost as soon as they left the train station. His nerves hadn't entirely left him at that point, and he knew he was a little more hyper than usual, but Phil didn't seem to mind. Phil had carried on clawing at his arm as they sat pressed together, which Dan thought was the cutest thing ever.
Perhaps Phil was feeling as nervous as he was.
They'd somewhat reluctantly left Starbucks to go for a wander around the city centre. Phil wanted to post a photo to Dailybooth, which Dan was only too happy to oblige. Dan had seen Phil's photos with other friends in the Apple Store, and there was something satisfying about finally being in one himself. They’d taken way too many photos, finally leaving when the security staff started circling.
They'd spent some time wandering in and out of shops, making fun of overpriced couture clothing and spending way too long looking at films in HMV. Phil bought a big bag of sweets for them to share later, and stuffed them in his backpack.
It was early evening, and Dan was just starting to get hungry, when Phil pointed up at the big ferris wheel they were passing.
"Fancy it? I know it’s a bit touristy, but I’ve been on it before and it’s pretty fun. You can see all over the city."
It was a bit touristy, but then again Dan was a tourist, so they got in the short queue. Phil insisted on buying Dan's ticket, and soon enough they were stepping into their pod. Dan said a silent think you that the attraction was sufficiently quiet on a Monday afternoon that they got their pod to themselves.
The wheel started to turn, lifting them high above the city. The view was amazing, but more importantly, it was the first time that Dan and Phil had properly been alone together.
It was so quiet in their pod, like they'd stepped out of the world for a while. Phil pointed out various landmarks, his voice low, and Dan leaned closer to peer out at what he was talking about.
Leaning so close into Phil’s space made it difficult to keep focussing on the city features Phil was pointing at. Dan’s gaze moved from the view to Phil’s profile, to his beautiful, heart-shaped mouth and soft, round cheeks.
Phil noticed he had gone quiet, and looked back at him, starting slightly when he noticed how close Dan was. Dan swallowed, and looked at Phil’s lips.
He hadn't planned on doing this yet, but it was too perfect a time - and he couldn't wait any longer. He hardly had to lean forward at all to close the short distance between them.
He felt Phil tense in shock as he pressed their lips together; only for a moment, though, before he relaxed and oh my god he was actually kissing him back.
Dan was dreaming, he had to be; this was everything he’d wanted, but it was better than he’d ever imagined. Every scenario he’d thought up, lying in his little brown room, fell far short of the reality - the warmth and yielding softness of Phil’s mouth, the gentle swaying of their pod, the cityscape stretched out beneath them. He’d never have imagined a moment like this, and if he had, he’d have told himself it was too much like a cheesy romantic film.
They pulled away after a while, and Dan looked happily at the lovely shade of pink Phil had gone.
I did that, he thought.
“That was nice,” said Phil quietly, in the understatement of the century.
“I was just waiting to get you alone,” said Dan, shrugging. “My nefarious scheme is unveiled.”
“I like a good nefarious scheme,” said Phil. “I mean, this is a pretty good place for a first kiss,” he said, as the pod began its descent, looking out at the panorama.
“Actually, I didn’t have a scheme,” said Dan. “I just - wanted to.”
“Me, too,” smiled Phil. He twined his and Dan’s fingers together for the rest of their ride.
Once they were off the wheel, things felt different. They let go of each others’ hands as the pod arrived back on the ground, but walking down the street they couldn’t stop smiling at each other.
Phil led them to their final destination, a fancy-looking bar, high up in a very nice hotel. Dan hadn't brought any clothes suitable for somewhere so posh, so he buttoned up his overshirt in the lift. Phil assured him it didn't matter.
"I feel like a scruffy oik," he’d whispered to Phil as they looked over their ridiculously expensive menus.
"You don't look like one," said Phil. "What do you fancy?"
They'd watched the sun set, clinked their expensive cocktails together, and grinned stupidly at each other across the table. Dan couldn’t remember a day when he had smiled so much.
They hadn't stayed too long after it had gotten dark and they’d seen the city lights come on, glittering as far as they could see; sharing the unspoken but mutual knowledge that they wanted to be alone again. Dan had been secretly delighted when Phil had suggested they hit the road.
"We're almost there," said Phil, jolting Dan out of his thoughts. He was warm and comfortable where he was pressed against Phil in their bus seat, and combined with the residual effects of his cocktails, he almost didn't want to move.
Phil reached across him and pushed the stop button as they approached a stop on a quiet street, and they stepped off into the darkness, and started walking. They were silent for a while, the only noise the sound of their footsteps.
"It's this one," said Phil, indicating a large house, as they turned into the driveway.
'Wow, it's massive," said Dan.
"I guess," said Phil off-handedly. He unlocked the door.
“Okay - welcome!" he said, putting on the hallway light.
Dan stood looking around the hallway. The house was big and old-fashioned, with loads of photos of its current occupants lining the walls. He grinned at a framed photo of little Phil on the hallway table. The colour scheme and lighting were oddly reminiscent of a lot of creepy old films he’d watched. He certainly wouldn’t have wanted to be staying here alone, even if he’d lived here for years.
"C'mon," said Phil. "I'll give you the tour."
If anything, the house got even weirder as they walked around, Phil pointing out the rooms and increasingly bizarre items of decor.
"Phil," he said. "You know your house is straight out of a horror movie, right?" Phil laughed.
"I told you it was a bit creepy at night. Especially when I'm here alone," he said.
"Well, I'm here now."
"Hope you've trained up on dealing with axe murderers."
“If by training up you mean watching loads of horror movies, then yes. Yes I have."
"You haven't even seen upstairs yet.'
"Why, what’s upstairs? Is it even more terrifying?"
"Well, my room's up there, so..."
"Definitely, then."
“It’s not that I don’t like it,” said Dan, wanting to reassure Phil that he wasn’t insulting his home.
“No, I know,” said Phil. “It’s my house, and I can still see it’s creepy in the dark.”
“It’s nicer than my house,” said Dan, as they made their way up the stairs. “Not that that’s difficult.”
“I’m sure your house is nice.”
“It could be worse,” said Dan. “At least your house is interesting.”
“Interesting,” repeated Phil. “That’s one way of putting it.”
On the upstairs landing, he pointed out his parents’ bedroom, the bathroom, and the room that had once belonged to his brother.
"And this is my room." He pointed at his Kill Bill poster. "Er, obviously." He pushed the door open and led Dan inside.
Standing in Phil's room - actual AmazingPhil's actual room! - might just be the most surreal moment of the trip so far, Dan thought to himself. His eyes roamed hungrily around the room, taking in the brightly coloured walls he'd seen so many times on his laptop screen, the photos on Phil's wardrobe, his camera, the knick-knacks on every surface, one of Phil's shirts over the back of his chair, the still-boxed cordless hammer drill on the floor next to the door.
"I feel a bit like I'm on a film set," he said to Phil.
“You kind of are, I suppose.”
“It’s weird. Not the room, I mean, just actually being here after seeing it so many times.”
"Are you hungry?" said Phil. "I fancy a snack."
"Yeah, actually," said Dan. Their small portions of fries at the skybar hadn't done much to help his hunger. He put his rucksack down on the sofa bed Phil had mentioned, neatly made up with a blue sheet.
He looked over at Phil's bed, and spotted something familiar on his bedside table.
"Aww, Lion!" he said, reaching over to pat the toy's head. "Hello."
Phil picked up Lion and smushed him into Dan's cheek.
"Rawwrrr," he said. "That means hello."
Dan giggled, and reached up to scratch at Lion's mane. He caught Phil's fingers as he did, and squeezed his hand briefly. Phil squeezed back.
"Okay, food time," said Phil, replacing Lion on his side table. "C'mon."
They returned to the kitchen, where Phil dug a pizza out of the freezer, and poured them big glasses of Ribena.
"Might put my PJs on while it cooks," said Phil, nodding at the oven. "D'you wanna watch a film or something after?"
"Sure," said Dan. "I might do the same. "
They went back upstairs. Phil changed in his bedroom while Dan dug his pyjamas out of his bag and changed in the bathroom.
Once done, he crept back down the hallway, feeling oddly like he needed to be quiet even though they were alone in the house, and knocked on Phil's door.
"Phil? You decent?"
"Yeah!"
"Aw, shame," he said, opening the door.
Phil looked soft and cosy in Spiderman pyjamas and a hoodie, and turned to smile at him as he came in. Dan couldn't help himself, going over to wrap his arms around his waist. He rested his chin on Phil's shoulder.
"Hi," he said.
"Hello," said Phil fondly. He placed his hands over Dan's where they rested on his stomach, and they stood for a moment, swaying slightly. Dan couldn’t believe that he could just do this whenever he wanted, and even better, that Phil actually wanted him to. That he hugged him back.
The timer chimed distantly from the kitchen.
"Pizza's ready," said Phil, turning in Dan's embrace. His eyes raked over Dan's face before he reached up, and booped the tip of his nose.
Back in the kitchen, they halved the pizza, refilled their drinks and ate at the table. Dan was hungrier than he realised, so once they'd finished the pizza they started on the bag of sweets Phil had bought in town.
“Wanna bring the sweets up to my room?” said Phil. “We can put a film on. I mean, we could watch it down here, but we might as well get comfy.”
“Sure,” said Dan. “Comfy’s good.”
Once in the room, Phil opened up his laptop to start the film.
“Are we sitting on the bed?” said Dan.
“Yep.”
“I shall construct a throne of pillows, then,” said Dan dramatically. While Phil loaded up the disc, Dan arranged Phil’s pillows against the wall, and they settled back against them, Phil’s laptop across both their thighs.
“Is that okay?” said Phil, nodding towards the laptop.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” said Dan.
He looked down at their legs, pressed together in their PJs. It struck him anew how tall Phil was, how his feet rested alongside his own. He wriggled his toes lightly against Phil’s.
The movie started, but Dan found he had trouble concentrating. The cosiness of their pillow nest, the warmth of Phil next to him and his early start were all contributing to the fact that, as hard as he was trying to stay awake and enjoy every moment he could with Phil, his eyelids kept drifting shut, his head drooping forwards towards his chest. He’d hoped he might be able to pluck up the courage to kiss him again, but right now he could hardly keep his eyes open.
The next thing he knew, Phil was nudging him awake gently. He’d slumped sideways slightly, his head resting on Phil’s shoulder.
“Dan,” he said. “Time for bed?”
“Sorry,” mumbled Dan.
“Don’t be. You were up stupid early.”
“Mmm,” said Dan. He rubbed at his tired eyes, and looked over at the sofa bed.
“Need to brush my teeth,” he mumbled. “D’you wanna go first?”
“I’ll use my parents’ bathroom,” said Phil. “Go ahead. Do you remember where it is?”
“Yeah,” said Dan, rooting around in his bag for his toothbrush. “Hopefully I don’t get murdered by any possessed dolls on the way.” He stretched. “If I’m not back in ten minutes, avenge my death.”
He headed down the hall to the bathroom, and got ready for bed, looking at his mussed hair and sleepy eyes in the mirror. After the long day, his hair was starting to frizz, and he looked at it distastefully for a moment before he remembered Phil last night, talking about how he wanted to see Dan’s curls. He imagined Phil playfully ruffling his unstraightened hair, and found himself looking forward to it, however much he hated how it looked.
He hurried through the rest of his nighttime routine, before heading back to Phil’s room.
Phil was still in the bathroom, and Dan checked his phone and put it on to charge before he came back. He perched on the edge of the sofa bed.
He didn’t mind admitting to himself - he wanted to sleep in Phil’s bed. If he just - went and got in it, would Phil ask him to move? Was it too much, too soon? Or might Phil assume he just wanted sex? They’d both been pretty clear about how they felt in their chats, but Dan didn’t want Phil to feel like he’d just visited for an internet hookup. This was so much more, for the first time in his life, and he was still figuring out how to walk that line.
Phil appeared back in the room before he had a chance to move, and the moment was lost.
“Well done on not getting murdered,” said Phil.
“Thanks.”
Phil put his laptop away and got into bed, and Dan started reluctantly pulling at the sheets covering the sofa bed. It was only the first night - maybe they could share tomorrow. He would have liked a kiss goodnight, though.
Wow, Dan, he thought. So needy already, and it’s only the first day. Phil’s voice interrupted his thoughts.
“Um - Dan.”
“Yeah?” he said, turning slightly.
“D’you wanna cuddle?”
Dan’s heart leapt.
“Yes,” he said,without hesitation. He replaced the sheets on the stupid sofa bed and started towards Phil.
“Could you turn the light off?” said Phil.
“Oh, right.”
Dan padded across the room and shut off the light, plunging the room into darkness. He swallowed.
“Phil?”
“Yeah?”
“I can’t see.” He heard Phil’s breathy laugh, and moments later his phone screen lit up like a beacon.
“This way,” he said. “Come towards the light!”
“I thought you weren’t supposed to go towards the light,” said Dan, returning to the bed. “Though if it means embracing my death, I’m down.”
“Hey,” said Phil, as Dan located the bed and groped blindly for the edge of the duvet. “Don’t embrace death. Embrace me.”
“Ugh, that’s terrible, Phil. Even by your standards.”
He slid into Phil’s comfy bed, and Phil immediately pulled him close. It took them a moment to arrange themselves, but they finally settled, Phil’s head resting on Dan’s shoulder. Phil held him close, his hand stroking absent-mindedly along Dan’s arm. Dan took a deep breath,and sighed contentedly.
Dan felt his whole body relaxing. This wasn’t weird, this wasn’t awkward. Even though they’d only met today, it felt right; he felt warm and safe and like he was where he belonged. Phil shifted again.
“Phil?” he said.
“Yeah?”
“Were you nervous? Today I mean? Like, when we met?”
Phil snorted.
“Yeah,” he admitted. “‘Course. I was so nervous.”
“Really?”
“Couldn’t you tell?”
“Well,” said Dan. “Maybe a little. I was, too. Like, super nervous.”
“Well, you couldn’t tell you were.”
“Shut up. Yes you could. Did I actually stop talking at all for the first hour?”
“I liked it,” said Phil.
“You’re biased.”
“Maybe.” He gave Dan’s waist a squeeze where his arm was draped across it. “Why do you ask? Are you still nervous?”
“No,” said Dan. “‘Course not. You?”
“No. It was such a great day.”
“It was. Thank you, by the way.”
“No, thank you. For coming all the way here. I’m really glad you did.”
Phil yawned, and became quiet.
“You’re so warm,” he said, his voice low and sleepy.
“Yeah, I almost always am. I don't usually wear PJs,” said Dan. Or cuddle someone, he thought.
“Yeah, I know. It's nice, though. The warm.”
“Good,” said Dan.
He turned his head to nuzzle his nose slightly into Phil’s hair, and - unable to help himself - pressed a kiss into it. Phil turned his head slightly to press a return kiss to Dan’s t-shirt clad shoulder.
Dan’s eyes had adjusted slightly to the darkness, and he could make out the outline of Phil beside him. He reached his fingers out slowly, until he could brush Phil’s jaw, and, feeling brave, knowing somehow that he wouldn’t be pushed away, he tipped his face upwards and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.
Phil made a happy, contented sound in his throat that Dan could see himself getting quickly addicted to. He kissed him back, soft and slow, a quick goodnight peck become so much more.
The kiss gentled, quiet and tender in the darkness. And for once, Dan didn’t feel the need for his usual urgency. This was the beginning of something; this wouldn’t be all they ever had. And they had so much time. He couldn’t remember feeling so hopeful about anything for a very long time - maybe ever.
Also he was very fucking tired.
He was dozing off when the light of Phil’s phone made him crack open an eye. Phil was typing something.
“Sorry,” said Phil, noticing Dan looking at him. He shut off the screen, and pressed a final kiss to Dan’s forehead. “Night night, Dan.”
“Goodnight, Phil.”
He drifted off to sleep in Phil’s arms, their breathing synchronised, already looking forward to what the next day, and the future, would bring them.