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so maybe mina’s being kinda nosy, but then again in a frat party there really isn’t room for any of the normal human boundaries. and todoroki is the easiest to talk to in functions like this, maybe it’s because he doesn’t talk at all, or as much as the drunken students that litter the beer-stained living room. or maybe it’s because he’s too stupendously obvious.
“you’re gonna bore a hole in the back of bakugo’s neck if you keep this up,” she whispers into todoroki’s ear as she takes a seat next to him at the bottom of the stairs.
todoroki scoffs but makes no move to get away from her.
it’s the last day of the semester so that means everyone is either shitfaced drunk or getting there. mina lost her party companions to a game of spin-the-bottle upstairs, and although she wouldn’t mind stripping some of the clothes she’s wearing, frankly she’s tired of the basic college party mundanity. that and she finds the fond in todoroki’s eyes while he looks at bakugo playing beer pong in the kitchen much more interesting.
the said blond glances to where they’re sitting and smiles. todoroki nods and mina raises a brow. then bakugo turns away, ping pong ball in hand, takes a shot and scores. the house hollers. wayward high fives and dudebro chest bumps commence.
mina makes a fake gagging sound in the back of her throat, causing the ends of todoroki’s mouth to upturn slightly.
“i expected better taste,” mina gives him a sidewards glance and eventually, todoroki shrugs.
“it wasn’t really my choice.” he says matter-of-factly like he’s bored. but then his eyes narrow. “how’d you know?”
“how long have you two been together?” she counters instead.
todoroki’s head turns to face her so quickly that she wonders if he got whiplash. he stares at her blankly, wide-eyed and surprised like a deer caught in headlights. “i-it’s not like that.”
mina cocks her head to the side, swirling her red plastic cup. “then what?”
todoroki looks away, adjusting his shoelaces. “it really isn’t any of your business.”
come to think of it, this isn’t todoroki’s usual crowd. as far as mina knew him, not very well but well enough, he was the type of guy that was often in the smaller gatherings or better yet, in the university library with the student council. and although mina likes to see people waddle like newborn babies in frat parties, there’s something about the heavy look on todoroki’s face that piques her curiosity. and perhaps her empathy, too.
“you need another drink.” mina stands, short shorts riding higher up her thighs. she’s eyeing the sad-looking beer in his hands as she offers him her palm. “c’mon, let’s go.”
“i really don’t drink that much.” todoroki shakes his head.
“yeah, and i really don’t meddle with other people’s love problems,” mina interjects, grabbing his hand anyway. “there’s a first for both of us.”
the girl is stubborn so todoroki just lets her drag him to the kitchen.
they pass by the game of beer pong, stopping when some of the guys holler at mina. wolf whistles and catcalls galore. mina rolls her eyes and gives them her middle finger as they burst into laughter.
during all this ruckus, todoroki meets bakugo’s eyes and the two of them exchange a knowing glance. he opens his mouth to say something but too soon he’s pulled away by a slightly annoyed mina, who’s mumbling “i swear to god i fuckin hate men” under her breath.
a minute later, he’s sitting on the kitchen counter as mina makes their drinks. when she’s finished, she hands him one red plastic cup with something that just suspiciously tastes like coke.
“cheers, pretty boy.” she says as she clinks their cups together, moving to sit on the island countertop so she’s directly across from todoroki.
they sip in silence with nothing but the loud bass ringing between them.
mina watches as bakugo glances towards them a few times, and wonders. but she doesn’t say anything.
“he’s nicer than he looks, you know.” todoroki says after a while. “and i know smart athletes are a dying breed, but you would be surprised.”
mina puts her drink down and quirks a brow. “is that why you fell for him?”
“it’s not that simple.”
“nothing’s simple. that’s why we’re in college.” mina says, waving a hand in front of her.
“i can’t just tell you-
“you wanna know how i knew?” mina interjects, getting impatient. “you were looking at him as if he’s something you want but can’t have.”
todoroki sighs. “he is.”
“bullshit. bakugo’s been giving you lovey dovey eyes all the while he’s been playing that stupid game.”
“that’s not it.”
“then what is it?”
todoroki downs the rest of his drink in one gulp, much to mina’s surprise, and winces.
“would you believe me if i told you we’re friends with benefits?”
“no fucking way.” mina almost spits out her drink. “you’re fuckbuddies with UA’s number one quarterback?”
todoroki gets off the counter and immediately covers her mouth with his hand. “please shut the fuck up.”
mina blinks, wide-eyed, but nods.
todoroki takes his hand away, and leans his back on the counter instead. “yes.”
“oh my god, this is so rich.” mina laughs loudly but then stops when she sees todoroki’s sullen face. “i’m sorry, i just thought the wealthy kid was an innocent one, too.”
todoroki rolls his eyes. “it started as a one time thing.” he pauses. “then, we saw each other again.” the boy shrugs.
mina whistles. “so the fairytale goes.”
“but that’s just what it is.” todoroki dismisses. “a fling.”
“that’s not what it looks like.” mina studies him for a moment. someone from the beer pong group shouts and almost immediately, todoroki’s head scans for bakugo. there’s something like relief that’s displayed in his eyes and the ghost of a smile plastered on his face. “you love him, don’t you?”
todoroki stares at her as if she had said something that's sacrilegious. but mina doesn't budge. he exhales.
“i do. i love him.” todoroki admits. then, he laughs but it’s empty. “god, how easy would it have been to just say that back to him.”
he goes to throw his red plastic cup away as mina stands still, playing his words in her head.
god, how easy would it have been to just say that back to him.
“say that back?” mina blurts out, and then realizes. “holy shit. bakugo told you he loved you.”
todoroki halts then takes a breath. eventually, he nods.
“you love him, he loves you, why aren’t you professing your undying love for each other in broad daylight?”
“because.” todoroki avoids mina’s gaze.
“because what?” mina scoffs, crossing her arms. “don’t tell me it’s because you’re scared of commitment or some shit like that.”
he shakes his head. there’s a moment of pause as todoroki looks like he’s mustering the courage to say something. that, or he’s bracing himself. “he has a girlfriend back home, did you know?”
mina just stares at him and for the first time that night, the golden glow in her eyes falters. she doesn’t say anything, though, so he keeps going.
“highschool sweetheart, been together for 5 years, that kind of thing.” todoroki says quietly, trying to straighten nonexistent creases on his polo shirt. “both of their parents are filthy rich business partners so they’re basically married too.”
there’s only silence after that. the yellow glow of the kitchen amplifies the solemn look on todoroki’s face and it is only then, mina realizes how much pain he carries.
“and so i couldnt,” todoroki mutters. “i couldn’t tell him i love him. i couldn’t make whatever it was between us real.”
“but what did he say?” comes mina’s quiet question.
he remembers the memory clear as day.
they were in his room, messing around like they usually did. under the covers. hands roaming everywhere. skin hot and breaths hurried. todoroki hadn’t expected himself to agree to do this in the middle of a tuesday afternoon, he had a class in an hour, but then again he really didn’t expect much of what happened next, too.
‘i love you.’ bakugo said against his lips.
he froze. bakugo’s eyes widened.
todoroki moved to stand up but the blond stopped him by holding his arms. ‘i’m sorry. don’t leave.’
todoroki closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. ‘you know our rules.’ he shook bakugo’s grip off of him as he sat up. ‘that wasn’t allowed.’
‘but i- i fuckin meant it, okay.’ came bakugo’s strangled growl. ‘that’s how i feel.’
‘but you can’t.’ todoroki reminded him. it was taking everything he had not break. ‘you have her.’
bakugo laughed sarcastically, almost maniacally. ‘right.’
todoroki got up and gathered his things. ‘i think we need to stop this.’
the words cut through the room like a knife. honestly, todoroki said it more for himself. because one could only take so much of holding back. he stood there, silently begging bakugo to end both their sufferings for god’s sake. but bakugo had other plans on his mind.
the blond grabbed him tightly by the wrist.
“no, fuck. no. please. i mean- we don’t have to end this. i could just.. i could just suck it up and stop being a goddamn baby,’ he had said, his tone vulnerable in a way todoroki’s never heard it before. ‘just- just stay. please. you don’t have to feel the same, you don’t even have to say it back. we.. we could just forget it ever happened. please, shouto.’
and how could have he refused?
…
“fuck.” mina curses after he’s done. the party has died down into a quiet lull of intoxicated students and the music being turned down. the beer pong group had packed up and left several minutes ago, but she doesn’t even have to look to know that bakugo’s waiting.
“so that’s it?” she asks todoroki, incredulously. “you’re just never going to tell him?”
“it’s better this way.” todoroki says. mina doubts it.
she thinks of saying something else but then she catches bakugo’s eyes across from where he’s waiting, and decides that it really isn’t her place to do anything. so instead she just gives todoroki a sidelong glance and says, “your prince awaits.”
todoroki laughs weakly as he stands from the kitchen counter.
mina watches him as he makes his way to the blond. as they both smile at each other in relief, in the way lovers do. she watches the two of them leave, like two strings interconnected in a bond that’s unseen but nevertheless, extraordinary.
she imagines how much it must hurt to love someone who loves you with their whole being, but not be able to tell them you feel the same way.