Chapter Text
Harry should have been paying attention in class. He really should have. But the new Life Skills course McGonagall had added was dreadfully boring. Why did it have to be mandatory? Harry already knew how to cook, clean, and mend. It was entirely too easy to not pay attention.
Hearing his name, Harry realised that the professor had spoken to him. His cheeks heated just a bit, "I'm sorry, professor. What was it?"
"You'll be paired with Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Goyle for this assignment, Mr. Potter," Professor Lightbrim said. He looked down at Harry, over the top of his glasses. "And please do pay attention, Mr. Potter. I promise your head won't explode from excessive knowledge." He spared a glance at Hermione. "Luckily for some of you."
Harry got up from his usual seat and went to sit with Malfoy and Goyle. "So good of you to join us, Potter," Malfoy drawled. "Since you weren't paying attention, I suppose we'll have to get you up to speed."
Harry looked at Malfoy for a moment and repressed the urge to argue with the git. If they were working together, he'd have to get along with him. Cringing inside, he politely addressed the Slytherins. "I'm sorry. I have trouble focusing sometimes and I would appreciate it if you'd fill me in."
Malfoy looked a bit surprised that Harry hadn't taken the bait for an argument. He recovered quickly, a smooth smile masking his disappointment. "We are being assigned to live as a family for the semester. That's why every group is in threes. Two parents, one child."
Harry looked at him like he was mad for a moment before looking around the room. Ron was paired with Hermione and Pansy. Another group was Seamus, Dean, and Parvati. Neville was with Blaise and Theo Nott. Another group had Padma, Cormac McLaggen, and Justin Finch-Fletchley. Harry was relieved to not be stuck with Cormac. He sighed as he looked back at Malfoy.
"You weren't paying attention during the picking of groups, so you're stuck with us," Malfoy sneered, misinterpreting Harry's sigh.
"I'd pick you two over McLaggen any day, just so you know," Harry chuckled. Malfoy seemed pleased that Harry preferred him to McLaggen and some of his annoyance seemed to dissipate.
"Well, then," Malfoy started again. "Since one of the group members has to be the child, they will be taking a de-aging potion to return them to infancy." Malfoy ignored Harry's shocked sputtering. "They should age around one year per week so that they'll be their proper age when the assignment is over. It's up to us to decide who gets to be the child. We have until the end of class when that person takes the potion and we move to our new shared quarters."
"Alright, then," Harry shrugged. "Who's going to be the baby?"
Malfoy's nose scrunched at the thought, but Goyle raised his hand. "I… I think I'd like to do it," he muttered, his voice a deep whisper between them. "It might be nice to have parents that actually want to talk to you."
Harry felt a twinge in his heart at the sadness in the other young man's voice. He knew what it was like to feel unwanted as a child. "I'll do my best to be a great dad, Greg," he said, smiling at him.
"Psht, you're definitely the mother, Potter," Malfoy scoffed.
"And why would I be the mother, Malfoy?" Harry sneered in a very unHarry-like way.
"Because you're more maternal, Potter," Malfoy said as if it was obvious. "You actually care about people and you pay attention," he waved the thought away. "You're definitely the mother."
"I'm going to have the mother of all headaches dealing with you," Harry mumbled. He looked around at the other students. "So what happens if someone's a bad parent? What happens to the baby?"
Professor Lightbrim smiled softly. "If only one parent is failing, the other has the option to attempt being a single parent or join another family. It does take a village, after all. If both parents are failing in their duties, they will fail and the child will be adopted into a healthier family unit."
"Geez, Potter," Malfoy huffed. "We haven't even started and you have a look on your face like you want to adopt all of the babies. Ever. Everywhere."