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"Remind me, why are we sitting in a graveyard, in the dark, while it's raining?" Sam asked, about an hour into their stakeout.
"Because Tasha said so" Clint replied primly over the comms, bringing quiet chuckles from Steve and Bucky as Sam snorted dismissively.
Natasha crackled over their earpieces a few moments later, her voice hushed but clear, "Didn't you listen to the debrief, Wilson?" she teased.
"My mind hasn't quite grasped the whole vampires are real and y'all need to watch them thing yet, Nat" Sam replied.
"Steve was the same" Bucky joined in cheerfully, "apparently aliens are fine, us living to over 100 is completely normal, guy pulling off his skin? Yep, why not. But vampires fried his brain."
At this, Steve cut in, "Look, my ma used to tell me stories about Abhartach"
"Irish vampire king" Bucky added helpfully.
"Right" Steve continued, "and there were tales of the Sidhe, or the Puca, or the Sluagh. She never told me about aliens or glowing space rocks, y'know sci-fi always was your thing Buck. So it's just weird finding out that my childhood stories, y'know, aren't stories."
"Now you know how we all feel about you" Sam teased.
Steve huffed at that, but knew he couldn't really argue while Bucky giggled silently at his side.
They fell into silence once more, until it was again broken, this time by Clint "Aw garlic no."
"Barton, why do you have garlic?" Bucky asked with an exasperated sigh.
"Vampires" the archer replied.
"Doesn't work," Natasha was quick to point out, ignoring the several replies of "what?" that came her way to add, "and your silver-tipped arrows won't do anything special either."
While Clint grumbled, Steve's attention was drawn to Bucky as the brunet groaned before starting to unload each of his guns, "Buck what're you doing?"
"Need to change out the silver bullets" Bucky muttered, despondent.
"Buck, that's werewolves"
"Well, I thought it was vampires too. But they're slower and less accurate so I'm not using them if they don't work." Bucky was clearly sulking now, so Steve nudged him with his elbow to get his attention.
"Hey Buck, I've got a spare stake you can borrow?" he offered with a smile.
"We're not staking anyone Rogers" Natasha cut in again. "You can't kill the vampire, we need them to talk."
"Can I knock them out with my shield?" Steve enquired.
"Yes."
"What is my life" Sam lamented as Bucky peppered Natasha with questions regarding how effective his arm would be.
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As it turned out, the stakeout (pun intended) turned out to be pointless, as the only visitor to the graveyard that night was a stray cat that decided Bucky was its new favourite person.
So cold, wet and tired, the 4 Avengers packed up and got ready to head back to their respective homes, Sam grumbling that Clint stunk of garlic, Natasha trying to give both of them a rundown on accurate supernatural repellents, and Steve shaking his head as Bucky held the cat up to him pleadingly before giving in and saying "fine, the cat can come home with us."
As they filed out of the graveyard, they all came to a sudden halt as a tall man walked towards them, stopped wide-eyed, uttered "oh shit" and in a green flash transformed into a bat and flew away.
Before anyone could speak, Steve just shook his head and said "nope, too tired, that didn't happen, we're going home, bye guys" and started walking off, Bucky following behind after sharing an astonished glance with the other 3, the cat still secure in his arms.
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When they were home, warm, dry and fed, the super-soldier pair cuddled up in bed, Justice on the bed at their feet, Alpine on Steve's thigh, and the newest addition to the family a few inches away on Bucky's own.
"What are you gonna call her?" Steve asked through a yawn.
"Dracula."
"Buck. No."
"Buffy."
"Buck..."
"Nope" Bucky was resolute now, "she's Buffy."
"So Bucky Barnes' cat is called Buffy..." Steve trailed off, eyebrow raised.
"Yep. She'll keep all the vampires away" Bucky grinned as he stroked the small ball of black fluff.
"Either that or she is a vampire.. we should get Wanda to check" Steve was joking but it didn't stop Bucky going wide-eyed before picking up the cat to peer suspiciously at her face.
When Buffy simply licked his nose and pawed his chin in response, he grinned at Steve, "see? Harmless."
"People used to say that about you.."
"Shut it punk."