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“Magnus, wait!”
Magnus barely heard the shout of his name through the pounding of the rain, but he didn’t bother turning around to face Alec. There was no point after all, Alec had made that more than clear.
“Magnus!”
Magnus was just about to turn the corner when Alec’s hand caught his arm. Just like that, the reminder of Alec’s hand on him was enough to stop him. He clenched his eyes shut for a moment, glad for the rain soaking him through, because at least Alec wouldn’t see his tears. He straightened his shoulders and turned to glare at Alec.
“Will you listen to me for two goddamn seconds, Magnus?” Alec growled, pushing his hair out of his face, holding out an umbrella to Magnus.
Magnus yanked the umbrella away from Alec and opened it, glad that it was one of the larger golf umbrellas and they didn’t have to step closer. He scowled. “Why should I? You made yourself perfectly clear. Or do you want to twist the knife a little harder? I didn’t think you were cruel, Alec.”
Alec flinched, knowing he deserved that. He took a deep breath and forced himself to look Magnus in the eye, reminding himself that he needed to focus and do this right. “I’m, I’m sorry,” he managed.
“You’re sorry,” Magnus sneered. “What do you think this is, Alec?”
Magnus calling him anything other than Alexander felt wrong. Alec swallowed, looking down at the ground, before he forced his eyes up again. “I didn’t…I didn’t know you were there, Magnus, and I-”
“So that suddenly makes it okay to say?” Magnus shouted. “Not an hour after fooling around in the dressing room, I come across you scoffing, mocking the idea of going out with me when one of them suggested it.”
“No, no, Magnus, that isn’t what I meant,” Alec pleaded, stepping closer to him. “Please, I’m sorry, just listen, let me explain, I couldn’t-”
Magnus held up a hand and shook his head, handing the umbrella to Alexander. “I don’t owe you anything, Alec. Least of all listening to your explanations. You made it clear what we were.” He sighed and shook his head again, turning away from Alec.
“Magnus…”
Magnus sighed. “I told you I understood. I wasn’t going to push for you to come out, Alec. That’s your choice and your decision. But hearing people you consider your friends mock me? Hearing you mock being in a relationship with me?” He looked over his shoulder and offered Alec a sad smile. “Why should I trust my heart to someone who has no interest in keeping it safe?”
Alec swallowed hard, his heart pounding with the confession. “Magnus, please, I’m sorry.”
Magnus wrapped his arms around himself and stepped out into the rain, away from Alec. When he made it around the corner of the building, he let the tears start to fall as he trudged his way back to his apartment. He should have known better than to throw his heart away all over again.
~!~
Magnus let himself cry for the rest of the night. Let himself mourn everything that could have been with Alec. He put the thoughts of Alec’s smile and laugh, his hesitant kisses and perfect hugs into a box and closed the lid, firmly. It didn’t matter. None of it had mattered.
The next morning dawned bright and sunny and Magnus hated it. He got himself dressed, pulling on his armor piece by piece. Eyeliner, eyeshadow, silver streaks in his hair, and an outfit designed to impress. By the time he was ready to head to the theatre hall, he almost felt like himself again.
Of course, nothing could ever be perfect. Several members of the soccer team were there, and the jeering started the second he turned the corner.
“Oh look who it is. You’re looking more homo than usual. No smartass quips today, Bane?”
Magnus rolled his eyes and went to stride past them. “Fuck off, Raj.”
“Aw, is the little fag having a bad day?” Raj taunted.
Magnus’ shoulders stiffened and he turned around with a snarl, but not before he heard the sound of a body hitting a wall. His eyes widened at the sight of Alexander holding Raj several inches off the ground and against the wall.
“What the fuck, Lightwood! Let me down!”
Alec’s voice was low and deadly. “If you ever call him, or anyone else, that again, Raj, you’ll be lucky if all I break is your jaw.”
Magnus’ stared in shock.
Raj spit out a laugh. “Protecting your little boyfriend? I know you told us you liked it up the ass, Lightwood, but I thought you’d at least have decent taste in-”
Alec didn’t bother letting Raj finish his sentence. He dropped the man and slammed his fist into Raj’s jaw, sending him spinning to the floor with a loud ‘CRACK’. He put a boot in the middle of Raj’s back and leaned in closer to him, listening to him groan in pain.
“Magnus Bane is not my boyfriend,” Alec growled. “If he was, rest assured I would consider myself the luckiest man on campus since Magnus is brilliant, funny, sweet, and, let’s be honest, fucking gorgeous.”
Magnus covered his mouth, not sure if he wanted to laugh or cry as he listened to Alexander defend him and call him gorgeous in the same breath.
“Now,” Alec continued, keeping his foot on Raj’s back, looking to the rest of his team mates. “If you have a problem with me being gay, I suggest you get the fuck over it. I see you pulling any of this kind of shit again? Or hear about it? You will run suicides until you puke, and then I’ll kick your asses. Understood?” He waited for all of their nods before he lifted his foot off of Raj’s back. “Get him to the nurse. He’s got at least a fractured jaw.”
Magnus’ eyes darted between Alec’s team mates and where Alec was standing, his shoulders still heaving with every breath he was taking. He stepped forward, reaching out to touch Alec’s arm. “Alexander? Are you all right?”
Alec tensed, his eyes snapping to Magnus. He thought he’d never get to hear Magnus call him Alexander ever again after yesterday. “I’m, I’m fine. Are you okay?”
Magnus wanted to laugh. “Well, I have to say, I’ve never had my honor defended so gallantly.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t say it yesterday,” Alec said, dropping his eyes to the floor. “I should have.” He took a deep breath and picked up his bag, turning to head down the hall. “I’ll, I’ll let you get to rehearsal, Magnus.”
“Fucking gorgeous, huh?” Magnus called, watching Alec’s shoulders tense. He didn’t have much sense of self-preservation, but maybe…
Alec chuckled, glancing back towards Magnus with a wry grin. “I do seem to recall a few other compliments being thrown in there, too.”
“Mmmhmm,” Magnus agreed, sauntering towards the soccer captain, stopping in front of him. “You told your team you’re gay?”
Alec gave a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his head. “Yeah. Group chat. Told Jace, Izzy and Max this morning.”
Magnus’ eyes widened before he smiled. “I’m happy for you, Alexander. I’m guessing it went well?”
“Except for a few hiccups like Raj? Yeah,” Alec said, unable to keep from smiling again.
“May I ask what changed between yesterday and today?” Magnus felt himself take a step closer to Alec, drawn to him, unable to stay away, like always.
Alec’s eyes filled with sorrow. He reached out to touch Magnus’ arm, but pulled his hand back before he did. “You,” he whispered.
Magnus blinked. “Me? Alexander, I haven’t-”
“I lost the one thing I didn’t want to lose,” Alec continued. “I was scared. You were right. But you never pushed. Not once. You let me take and take, and, and all you asked for was for me to be a decent person and I couldn’t even do that!”
Alec took a deep, unsteady breath. “You’re deserve so much more, Magnus. You deserve someone who will walk around campus proudly holding your hand. Who will kiss you good morning, and goodbye when you have to go to class. You deserve someone who will buy you those stupidly expensive starbucks drinks and memorize the order because it’s important to them. You deserve someone who gives you every bit as much love as you give them.”
Alec’s smile turned sad and he met Magnus’ eyes. “I’m, I’m sorry I didn’t realize that before I lost you. I would have liked to try to be that someone.”
Magnus was frozen, his heart pounding, as Alec stepped around him and started to walk away. He jumpstarted into action, stumbling after Alexander, scrambling to grab at Alec’s arm.
“Wait, wait, what’s my favorite coffee order?” Magnus blurted, meeting Alec’s eyes. Alec stared back at him and tilted his head, hope flaring in his eyes, bright and hot. It took Magnus’ breath away.
“Winter or Spring?” Alec asked, his head spinning.
Magnus wanted to cover his face. Alec knew he had orders for different seasons. “You know the Christmas order too, don’t you?”
Alec smiled faintly. “Venti gingerbread latte, skim milk, two shots of espresso, three pumps of vanilla syrup, kid temp, light on the foam.”
“Fuck,” Magnus breathed, his heart pounding as tears filled his eyes. “Alexander, you’re going to make me cry and I didn’t wear the right eyeliner for this!”
Alec stepped closer, reaching out to cup Magnus’ face in his hands, gently brushing the tears in his eyes away, careful not to disturb his eyeliner. “There,” he whispered. “You’re still perfect. As always.”
“Shut up and kiss me,” Magnus ordered, his heart doing double time at the idea that Alec might balk now, might walk away and decide he wasn’t worth it.
“And show everyone that the hottest bachelor on campus is happily taken?” Alec teased, pressing their foreheads together. “Don’t mind if I do.”
Magnus had been expecting a soft kiss, something shy and gentle. Instead Alec kissed him desperately, hard, hot, and demanding, pulling him in close, nipping and sucking at his lips until he could think of nothing but Alec’s lips on his and those strong arms around him. By the time Alec let him up for air, Magnus faintly registered the applause around them and had to laugh.
Alec blushed and glanced around, turning his attention to Magnus. He stole another soft kiss as his watch beeped. “I have class in five, and you have rehearsal. But I’ll meet you in dressing room five afterward?”
Magnus laughed against Alec’s lips, reluctant to let him go, even now. “It’s a date, Mr. Lightwood.” He grinned when Alec kissed him again before dashing off down the hallway.
If it weren’t for his lips tingling during the entirety of rehearsal, and some of the cast giving him eager thumbs up throughout the afternoon, Magnus would have thought it was a dream. But it wasn’t. Further confirmation of that was Alec waiting for him in dressing room five after rehearsal, holding a Starbucks cup with a shy smile on his face.
Magnus smiled, looking up at Alec. As good as that had been, the very best part of the day was walking out of the hall, holding hands with Alec as they discussed what to do for dinner. It was only topped by the grin Alexander couldn’t seem to wipe off his face. Luckily, it matched his own grin.