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Since moving to the countryside, Atsushi’s always thought the night sky was breathtaking. Without the pollution from street lamps and tall buildings blocking the view, he never had the chance to truly appreciate the stars, and the moon he seemed to find peace in.
Even from his balcony, the night sky was gorgeous, the light of the moon illuminating his dark room. But he hadn't ever genuinely experienced them.
Not until he met Dazai.
A strange man Atsushi seemed to find lurking around in the late hours of the dark.
He was an odd one, Atsushi thought. He never saw him during the day, only when the moon was high and the nights he would stare at the stars until he couldn't hold his eyes open.
The night Dazai noticed Atsushi was there, everything changed.
Atsushi learned quick that Dazai was anything but normal. Or human.
But a vampire? He didn't believe in that sort of thing but when Dazai got close enough for Atsushi to really see him, he knew .
It was obvious from the beginning— Dazai’s pale skin that was almost translucent, the warm brown eyes that seemed to glow red in the moonlight, the fangs that poked out when he spoke and, honestly the most obvious: his damned clothes.
They were at least centuries old, Atsushi doesn't know how they haven't fallen apart yet. Maybe that was a hidden perk of being undead.
He wanted to get Dazai out of those stuffy clothes, put him in something more comfortable and less heavy but he refused. They were the only remainder he had of his humanity, just there to remind him he was once a human being.
Human.
Atsushi wondered what it meant to be human the closer he got to Dazai. The nights he managed to get Dazai out of his old clothes, head resting on his chest, it made him question it even more. There wasn't a heartbeat like he was used to. He could feel Dazai’s chest moving lightly as if he were breathing— but there was no rhythmic pumping in his ear.
It was weird, oddly unsettling when he thought about how comfortable he was with everything else about Dazai. The fangs did take a while, though.
Atsushi tried not to dwell on it, pushing the thoughts deep into the back of his mind. It worked for a while. He took to falling asleep on Dazai’s silent chest, slim fingers combing through his hair lulling him to slumber instead of the steady sound of a heart.
One night things went differently.
Dazai had caught Atsushi out on a clear night like usual, stargazing from his balcony.
“The stars are pretty tonight, aren't they?” Dazai asked, looking to Atsushi, who's eyes were already on him.
“They are. I don't think they've been this bright since I moved here.” Atsushi smiled. “I do wish I could see them closer, though. This balcony can only do so much.”
Atsushi could see the beginnings of an idea forming in Dazai’s head and honestly, it scared him a little. Being immortal has caused Dazai to be more than reckless.
“Let me take you to this spot I know. It's perfect for tonight.”
Atsushi’s brows raised in momentary surprise, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He nodded, giving Dazai the okay.
Soon enough, with just a smidge of help from Dazai’s own supernatural abilities, Atsushi found himself staring over a cliff’s edge and the expanse of the sea, water shimmering under the luminescence of the moon.
The view took Atsushi’s breath away. He had no earthly idea how tall the cliff was, but if he looked up he swore he could reach up and pluck a star straight from the inky black of the sky.
A cool hand slid into his, slim fingers intertwining with his fingers. He looked over to Dazai, who only gave him a smile before he was tugging Atsushi from his spot, up another small hill that put him closer to the stars.
Dazai assured him this was the place, one he came to a ton of time over the years. They settled on the grass, laying side by side while they took in the sight, Dazai occasionally pointing out constellations while Atsushi pretended to understand what he was pointing out.
Slowly, Dazai’s body moved. Atsushi was almost too fixated on the stars to even notice until there was a new weight on his chest. He looked down, only to see a mess of brown hair that caused his chest to tighten.
“It's been centuries since I've really heard a human’s heart. I think the last was my own.” Dazai said after a few moments of silence. Atsushi glanced down at him again, the threat of a frown pulling at his lips. Dazai didn't sound any type of way other than calm, that was the only thing that kept Atsushi from feeling sad at the statement.
“Doesn't your kind usually stick with each other? I can’t imagine vampires willingly sticking around humans.”
Dazai lifted his head, giving Atsushi an amused look. “I willingly stick to you.” He pointed out, earning a smile from Atsushi before his head was back on his chest.
Another silence settled between them, a comfortable one as they basked in the moonlight and each other. Atsushi's fingers took to combing through brown curls with Dazai leaning into every touch.
“Do you ever miss being human?” Atsushi broke the silence this time, gaze focused on the stars.
Dazai sighed at the question, taking a moment to really think before he answered. “Sometimes, I suppose. There's not much difference besides never dying and having to sustain myself on animal blood. I do miss waking up with the sun, though.”
Atsushi gave a quiet hum, nodding his head as the questions returned. Dazai wasn't wrong. Even with his corpse like appearance, the fangs, everything that screamed monster to any sane person— Dazai was still human enough to Atsushi.
“I miss having a heart, too.” Dazai spoke up again, quieter this time. The words alone made Atsushi’s chest ache for him. “But you get used to the dead silence, and the fact you can't feel your own heart anymore. I miss feeling the one thing that kept me alive and human.”
“I don't think you need a heart to be human. Alive, yeah, but there's plenty of people in the world who have working hearts that are evil. They're monsters, if you don't mind me saying.”
Dazai laughed. “Times have changed. Back in my time, all you needed was your heart to stop for a second to be considered a monster.”
“I've never considered you a monster.”
“Not even when I told you?”
“Dazai, your fangs stick out like a sore thumb it was obvious . I always heard rumors and lore about vampires growing up, but I never actually believed in them until I met you.”
“It really warms my heart to hear that.” Dazai laughed, Atsushi only rolling his eyes. Dazai lifted his head up, the rest of his body moving upwards as he scooted himself closer to Atsushi’s face until they were mere inches apart. “You know, I think if I did have a working heart, it would only beat for you, Atsushi.”
God, was he glad Dazai’s body casted a shadow over him, barely hiding the visible flush on his cheeks.
Dazai didn't wait for Atsushi to open his mouth. “I think you've retaught me what it means to be human." He placed a cool hand on Atsushi’s cheek, the pad of his thumb brushing over his skin. "For so long, I've walked these cliffs, trying to find even a thread of humanity left in me, but you found it.”
“It was always there, you were just too focused on the vampire aspects of yourself to realize it.”
“Maybe so. But you did play a big role in all of it.” Dazai spoke softly. “I didn't think I'd ever have the chance to feel human again."
Dazai closed the distance between them, catching Atsushi's lips in a chaste kiss, gentle and loving. Even if Dazai's heart didn't beat, it still worked. It still allowed him to fall for Atsushi, allowed him to show him the love and affection he wanted to give him. In defiance of everything undead about Dazai, he still felt just as much as he did now compared to when he was living. And that, to the both of them was more than enough.