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“sol… i want a kiss… please…?”
you look around somewhat absently, facing your violet kismesis. today he didn’t have his cape and scarf on, revealing his pretty gill slits along the side of his neck. he’s biting on his lower lip, his lovely violet eyes slightly drooping, staring at you with a look of desperate need. it’s as if he would drown if you turn down his request. you inhale. you have no right to be feeling pity right now, but you do.
the more time you spend with him, the more you realize his tough elite exterior is a mere facade. a shell to conceal the vulnerable sweetness inside, to protect him from getting hurt. he’s so used to loneliness that he’s built an entire fortress to isolate himself, yet you simply wish for nothing more than to tear down his walls and hold his tenderly delicate true self tightly in your arms.
fuck, you don’t know since when you’ve been flipping dangerously red for him. maybe it’s because of the unintentional vulnerability, maybe it’s because of his neediness, maybe it’s because of his absolutely adorable chirps he makes every time your hands touch his body. he loves it when you touch him, no matter how you do it.
he's so pitiful. he’s just so touch starved that he would be okay with any form of physical contact, he’s okay with you slapping him around or torturing him with your psionics if you want. you realize you could’ve done inventively cruel things to him, and he would still come back, asking you for more. he couldn’t leave you, you’re the only one that’s still willing to approach him now. you’re the only thing he has left.
the thought of it makes you want to cry. you hate to even think about ever hurting him in any capacity. you want to hold him close to your chest and pepper small kisses all over his sweet chubby body, you want to let him know you’ll always be there for him, you just want him to feel safe and happy.
but you can’t. you, sollux captor, is too caught up in your stupid ego to admit out loud that there’s so much mushy flushed feelings inside you. it’s as if there’s a tug of war between the two of you, each refusing to confess first. yet you’re so red for him, it almost hurts.
you’ve accepted the fact that you’re only calling him your kismesis because you’re afraid he won’t reciprocate your sticky flushed feelings.
sensing your idleness, he moved closer, almost sitting atop you. you smile, you love it when he does that. “sol… sol please… kiss… hnn…” he’s grabbing onto your t-shirt now, his face flushed dark violet. he’s drooling a little, and you swear you can see the hearts in his eyes. he’s not even asking for anything specifically concupiscent, just a simple kiss. your chest throbs painfully.
you pull him over and connects your lips to his. he tastes like seasalt caramel and violet cream, and you almost tremble. he’s moaning, trying to explore your mouth, trying everything he can to hold onto you. it’s like he’s holding onto you for dear life, and to you, it’s terribly adorable. you lean into the kiss, tracing over his tongue and teeth with your own forked tongue, taking in his sweet scent. you feel him shaking, and your blood pusher lurches.
in moments like these you simply want to give eridan the whole world. he’s so pitiful, vulnerable . he’s trying to hold onto you with the kiss, almost as if he’s afraid to leave you. almost as if you have taken such a place in his life that he’s willing to do anything for you. you kiss him, more intense and passionate than before. he gasps, his eyes start to water, and he clings onto you tightly.
he seems like he doesn’t ever want to let go, and to be truthful, you don’t want him to. you’re willing to hold him like this forever, you’re willing to do anything to give him the love he deserves. if only he has any slight semblance of an idea of the stupid red emotions you’re feeling right now.
eridan lets out a small trill as you pull him closer to you, close enough for his sweet pudgy tummy to press against your lean, toned body. he’s still whining softly into the kiss, so hungry and desperate for any physical contact at all. you trace your fingertips over his lovely curves, gently caressing his body. as much as seadwellers are less susceptible to pain, you don’t want to harm him even one tiny bit. only the gentlest, most caring movements.
you kiss him breathless. he’s gasping, his pretty gill slits slightly vibrating to take in more air, if just to kiss you for a bit longer. he wants you so much, it hurts you to think about the things you could’ve done to him right now. you know you’re not going to, though. you feel as if your sole purpose right now is to ensure his happiness. you reluctantly pulls away from him, watching his face flushed with violet, murmuring your name faintly with small gasps and pants. you feel pure, unparalleled pity coursing through you.
eridan purrs and nuzzles you, and you couldn’t believe you’ve ever hated this lovely creature. he threw himself onto you, tackling you to the floor, and you catch yourself with your psionics. it’s a small price to pay to feel his plumpness all lovely against you. he’s so soft, like a cushion. it’s amazing. eridan— your eridan—is so wonderful. you lick your lips and tastes the lingering scent of cream and caramel. you love his scent, you love everything about him. you can't bring yourself to ever leave him.
he claws his way back up to your chest, pouting slightly and grabbing your shirt again, murmuring something about loving your kisses. you think he’s like a small baby kitten. he simply requires love and attention, that’s all he ever wants. you are more than happy to give it to him. you want to see him smile, the rare genuine smiles he’s been hiding for years. you want the satisfaction that you are the one who made him happy, the one who made him smile.
you just want .
your precious baby is chirping so softly, his face pressed against your chest. he looks up, his lidded eyes open to look at you, two beautiful pools of violet. you fail to find anything in your language to describe the positive emotions he’s making you feel right about now. eridan leans into you, whispering if he can have another kiss. there’s so much fearful trembling in his voice it makes you feel pain.
you nod, of course he can. he can do anything, as long as it makes him happy. again, you connected your lips with his, an activity you’ll never get tired of. you hate to think about the pain in his voice—the fear, the uncertainty. but you know so well where it came from, something you have once played a part in. back when you weren’t stupidly flushed for him. back when you had no remorse slamming him into a wall with your psionics, and walk away without a second glance at his broken body. back when-
“sol, you’re cryin. are you ok?” his soft voice pulled you back to reality, when you realize your vision is blurred and your face is wet. he cups your cheeks, carefully drying your tears with his sleeve, and kisses you gently. a small, chaste kiss of reassurance. the thought that someone that you have once ostracized loves you dearly physically hurts to comprehend. he’s so quick to forgive the terrors you’ve inflicted on him, and he cares about what you feel. you feel as if you don’t deserve him.
your eridan is an angel. there’s no other reason why he would forgive you, right?
you couldn’t control yourself. you hold him close, tightly, as if you’re afraid to let go. you really are, you’re terrified of eridan feeling anything less than happy around you. you want him to feel loved, to make up for all the quarrels you’ve had in the past. all the pain you’ve inflicted on him. you want to give him all the affection he so craves. you shudder, and bury your head between his curved horns. they look so nice, you think.
“i’m… okay.” you choked out, but you really aren’t. you hate the crushing guilt weighing down on you. “ed… can i tell you something?”
he nods, and gave you the faintest hint of a smile. it’s barely perceptible, but it’s there. you don’t know if he has any idea how much it means to you, how much it means to you to see him smile—even a tiny bit. you collect your thoughts and lift your head to kiss him, a small peck on the lips. he flushed violet.
“ed, i’m… i'm sorry. i can't do it, i can't be your kismesis anymore.” fuck. that sounds terrible. you watch as shock starts to register on his face, and tears welling up in his violet eyes. no, no no no. somehow you’ve screwed this up too, what a fucking idiot. he’s trembling as he tries to get up and leave, biting his lips as if to stop the tears from coming out. you can’t ruin this, not like this. you grab onto his hand, almost in a frantic gesture. you can’t believe you’re this desperate now.
“no…no. not like that. i can't be your kismesis anymore because i can’t even imagine hurting you. i'm…flushed for you. in every sense of the word.”
you finally gave in and said it. you felt that losing the tug of war is a fair price to pay to earn his forgiveness. or maybe he has already forgiven you, and you’re simply trying to make amends. yeah, sounds about right. you no longer understand him, why he’s so vulnerable around you, so willing to be affectionate towards you—and you feel maybe it's not your place to understand anymore. thinking about it hurts your pan, and you simply want to be with him. you’d give anything to have this pretty little fish be yours .
eridan is still standing there, eyes widened, as if he still couldn’t comprehend what you just told him. he’s so used to people ostracizing him and treating him terribly, he couldn’t even register a positive emotion. it hurts you, it hurts you so much to see him like this. he’s still shaking, tears running down his cheeks, mouth slightly parted as if in shock. you manage to get yourself to stand up, and walks up to him.
“i want to be your matesprit.”
you wrap your arms around him, kissing the top of his head, then his pretty curved horns. he loves physical contact, right? yet he’s still sobbing, so nervous to speak anything. you hold him tight. he needs time. you are willing to give him all the time he needs.
“sol…” he looks up at you with those big teary eyes, and you feel something inside of you melting. you cuddle him, and he jumped. it hurts you emotionally, knowing he’s still so careful around you, but you’re willing to take it. you're willing to give him all the time in the world to slowly grow comfortable around you. you want your baby to feel as comfortable as possible. “sol i… i didn't know. i’ve been flushed for you… this whole time…”
you think you’re beaming, and for once you finally understood why. he’s still choking out words between sobs, but you understand him. you feel absolutely elated. now that he’s finally your matesprit, you never want to introduce pain to him ever again. he’s yours, in probably the most intimate way possible.
“flushed for you, ed.”
he smiles, less abashed this time. it’s the smile that you’ve been hoping to see on his face for so, so long. you’re so happy for him, for the two of you. he’s not afraid that you would hurt him now. he knows you love him. you never want to leave him, ever.
you hold him in your arms, squeezing his soft body. he feels so good, plump softness enveloping your body. he murmurs something barely audible.
“flushed for you too, sol.”