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Getting a call from Sam, that was commonplace. Answering Sam’s number and having it not be Sam? That was not. “Dean? What’s up?”
“Uh… something’s happened with Sam, and he needs to talk to you.”
Phichit blinked. This made no sense. He’d never heard Dean sound like this. Dean didn’t get resigned. Dean got pissed off. Dean lashed out when bad things happened to Sam. He didn’t just… sigh and call Phichit. “If Sam wants to talk to me, then why am I talking to you on his phone?”
“Because… look, it’s really complicated, but Sam’s not on Earth right now. I’m gonna take you to him, if you agree to come, but I wouldn’t blame you a bit for not agreeing. Heck, you want my advice? Break up with Sam. Run off. Forget you ever knew us.”
“NO.” Whatever was going on, Phichit was not giving up on Sam. They were soulmates. Sure, Phichit had a ton of friends, several with benefits, many of whom would happily go for a relationship upgrade. He wouldn’t be alone. He just wouldn’t have his soulmate – and depending on what, exactly this was, and how much he could tell those others about it, he just might lose a couple friends, as well. Neither Viktor nor Seung Gil would think much of him if he couldn’t give them a good explanation. “Explain.”
“All right. Sam just claimed the throne of Hell, and right now, he’s going through advisors to figure out which ones he can trust to obey him and which ones he needs to get in line and which ones he just needs to get rid of. Needs to talk to you because, well, consort of the king of Hell is not what you signed up for.”
“Technically, I never signed up for anything,” Phichit said. That, he could get his head around. King of Hell? Sam? He couldn’t imagine any reason for Sam to be in Hell at all, let alone ruling it. “What’s Castiel think of this?”
“At first he wasn’t happy, but he agreed that it was the best solution for everyone involved except Sam… and you know Sam.” Phichit did. That sounded exactly like him. “So you ready to go to Hell to talk to Sam? He did say he promises to keep the demons away from you and you’re not gonna be hurt or anything.”
“Yeah, sure. Let me just tell Celestino…” Phichit rethought what he should be telling Celestino. As often as his coach had told him to go to Hell, he’d never meant it. “I’ll be out of cell phone range and not to worry, I’m with you and Sam, and I’ll explain when I can.”
Hell was… not what Phichit had expected. Darkness, sure, and some fire so they could see, but he’d expected so much… more. Of course, he’d never expected to be here as an honored guest.
Sam looked normal, at least. No horns, no tail, no pitchfork. He turned to the person beside him. “Rowena, please excuse us, make sure we’re not interrupted until I give the word.”
“Aye, your majesty,” Rowena purred, turning and walking out.
Sam rolled his eyes. “Don’t do that, not on Phichit’s account. Rowena, this is my soulmate, Phichit. Phichit, this is Rowena, my top lieutenant. Her son was the last king of Hell.”
“And you trust her? You don’t think she’d want revenge?”
“Sam didn’t take the throne from my boy,” Rowena said. “Fergus got himself killed, there’s been chaos, and Samuel took the throne to try to keep some kind of order. I support him fully.”
“And yes, I trust her… a lot more than I trust any of these demons, anyway,” Sam said. Rowena swept out with a cocky smile. “It’s good to see you, Phichit. I wouldn’t have blamed you for not coming.”
“No, you wouldn’t have.” Phichit hugged Sam. “So… what’s this mean for us? It’s not like we had the kind of relationship where you were home at five every night anyway, but you were at least in cell range most of the time.”
“Yeah, not gonna ask you to learn to make a normal Hell call, the kind with the fresh blood of a slain human. Give me your phone.”
Phichit shuddered at the image, but handed Sam his phone. “What are you gonna do to it?”
“It’s a charm Crowley taught me, that will let your phone reach Hell as easily as Earth.” Sam finished whatever he was doing and handed it back to Phichit. “Also, your battery will never run out, and you’ll be able to get wi-fi anywhere you go. One of the few things I genuinely liked about Crowley.”
Phichit took the phone back, staring at it. “If I sell you my soul, can I get the perfect selfie angle every time?”
Sam flinched. “You know, you don’t have to sell me your soul for that. For one thing, you’re good at that anyway, and for another, you’re my consort. If you want to be, I mean. You don’t have to.”
Phichit put his phone in his pocket and wrapped his arms around Sam. “You’re my soulmate. I’m pretty sure my soul belongs to you anyway.”
“Not the point. If you’re not happy here in Hell, I know Castiel will take you up to Heaven. They won’t refuse you because of me.”
Phichit shook his head. “No, you’re…”
“And then, a soul contract is for ten years, and you’ve got way more than that left in you for skating and building Thailand’s skating program.”
“Sam.” Phichit stretched up to kiss his boyfriend. “You’re the one missing the point here. The point is, if I'm cracking jokes about selfie angles and finding a way to make hellhamsters, that means I’m good with you doing this. I trust that you have your reasons for it, I don’t want to know too much about what those are, and it solves some problems for us, too.”
Sam looked into Phichit’s eyes, and the hope and fear warring there made Phichit’s heart hurt. “Like what?”
“Like you weren’t gonna come back to Thailand with me when I went, but if you’re in Hell, or can travel through it to get to Thailand, that makes it a lot easier for us to see each other. So, if we can talk regularly and see each other like we have been, when we’ve got some time free at the same time, then I’m good with this.” Phichit grinned as the worry faded out of Sam’s eyes. “Besides, can you imagine the look on Celestino’s face next time he says I’m a devil and I get to tell him he’s close, I’m the devil’s consort?”