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Six months.
Today is… it’s been six months since I’ve seen you lying there beside me when I open my eyes in the morning. Today is… it’s been six months since I could call out to you… and have the voice I LOVE so much… the voice I love more than any other in this world reply to me and hear you reply to me by calling me Honey or Pep or maybe even… probably both.
I miss you, Tony. I miss you so much that it literally, physically hurts. I know I told you that we were going to be okay. But you want to know something? I lied. I lied with every fiber of my being because you were… you were dying before my very eyes and you were in pain. Oh Tony, even though you were trying to comfort me, I could tell you were in such agony. You were hurting so much but you were still fighting to hang on for me… for Morgan… for Rhodey and Peter. I couldn’t take watching you try to hang on for us, knowing how bad… how excruciating the pain you had to have been in, and that’s why I lied to you. I knew if I didn’t, if I didn’t give you the okay to let go… to rest… you would have kept on fighting and as much as I didn’t want to have to watch the light leave your eyes… I couldn’t keep watching you struggle to hang on.