Chapter Text
"Years go, dreams go, and youth goes too,
The world’s heart breaks beneath its wars,
All things are changed, save in the east
The faithful beauty of the stars."
-Winter Stars, Sara Teasdale
The frigid air slowly crept through the one small barred window in the room, the sun was almost set. From the feel of it, he could tell the winter solstice was around the corner. The main house would fill with sounds of the new year soon after. He might be able to smell the faint aromas of the banquet they made every year. He pushed away the thoughts of anyone thinking of him among all the smiles and laughter.
His stomach growled at the thought of food he once had the pleasure of enjoying. He looked down at his offerings that were brought once a day by some poor soul employed by the estate, the tray of rice balls grew cold hours ago. He couldn’t stomach them, he couldn’t stomach much of anything these days.
Like some kind of cruel joke, the soft sound of rain echoes off the roof of the small room he will spend the rest of his life; locked away from the rest of the world to spare every one of the burden that is his existence. With a deep sigh he sinks down onto his cot, the last of his energy washed away with the rain.
His arm rested across his face to try and take some of the pressure behind his eyes, unable to find sleep despite being nearly too weak to move. He used to be strong, he can remember the days he would train for hours without breaking a sweat. His body was thin and frail now, ten long years spent in four walls no bigger than a prison cell, his muscles long gone, his skin hanging loosely on his aching bones. Not quite at the age of thirty but feeling a century old.
How much longer would he have to endure this loneliness before his body gave out entirely.
Just when he thought that exhaustion would take over, he heard the door to the cat room creak, he peaked from below his arm, every movement of his neck a dull pain. The door slid ever so slightly to reveal a pair of curious eyes. It wasn’t extremely uncommon for the children that frequented the estate to get curious and test the tales of the dangerous and hideous beast that was locked away in the forest.
“Hello?” came a tiny shivering voice. Whoever this kid was had to be freezing, he thought. Despite feeling more like sinking into the ground, Kyo braced himself on his arms and tried to get a better look at his intruder.
“You better scram kid! Before you freeze to death,” his voice cracked. He realized it had been months since he said any words out loud, his throat was dry and full of sand.
“Who’s there?” the child was sniffling now, taking a full step inside the room.
“What are you, an idiot?” why was he like this. “Hasn’t anyone told you about the monster cat?”
The kids eyes went wide and he took half a step back and tripped over his feet, falling out into the mud with a hard thud. Before Kyo could ask him if he was ok, the kid scrambled to stand and took off back towards the house, leaving the door open.
Shit
Kyo felt the frigid air surround him instantly and he curled into a ball and grasped onto the rough wool blanket they had left him with.
God damnit little snot nosed brat.
Soon it was so cold he could hardly breathe, the warm air coming from him visible in front of his face, his breath freezing in his lungs.
He would freeze to death now, and that was oddly comforting. He would only have to spend one more night in this living hell. He glanced at the beads around his wrist, he could accept death but he would prefer them to not be the last thing he saw. With that thought, he closed his eyes as tightly as he could and willed himself to fall asleep. The last image he saw before he drifted off was of warm eyes and pink hair ribbon.
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Tohru was waiting under her umbrella for her ride home when she was suddenly overwhelmed by this feeling of dread, like something bad was about to happen. She looked quickly to her left and right, but she was the only one on the street. It was late and she had pulled an extra shift at work to prepare for the holidays. Her friends deserved the best presents.
She tried to think of the happiness that buying the people she loves gifts brings her, but that bad feeling overtook those thoughts. Someone was in trouble, something bad was happening. She felt water dripping on her and looked up to see if there was a hole in her umbrella. No hole. She touched her face.
I’m crying? But...why?
Her heart-rate accelerated and she struggled to catch her breath.
What is happening to me?
She leaned against the pole of a street sign to keep from fainting. There was something she was forgetting, she tried to concentrate. There was something tugging at her mind, she focused, she tried to pull at the fogginess around these feelings; but instead of a vision of a memory there was a deeper feeling of dread. Of panic.
I haven’t had a panic attack in years. Why now?
The more she tried to focus the harder it became. Just when she felt like she was starting to remember something important a sharp pain ripped through her head and she dropped her umbrella, tightly shutting her eyes. The next second it was gone, and with it most of the panicky feeling faded. She quickly scooped up her umbrella, realizing she was getting soaked.
What just happened ? There was.... a face…
She still had that feeling of dread, like right before you get a grade for a test you know you failed, but her breathing was back to normal, her pulse had calmed. She couldn’t remember why or what she was panicking about, but she knew that it had happened. She wasn’t imagining things.
A little yellow car pulled up beside her and she happily rushed over to the door to get out of the rain.
“Thank you so much for coming to get me I’m so sorry that I made you drive in the rain. It wasn’t supposed to start until tomorrow,” she would have gone on with her apology but her blonde friend in the drivers seat waved a hand in front her face.
“Tohru it’s ok, I’m happy to help!” She gave her friend a big smile and put the car in drive and sped off.
“Uo-chan is the best friend ever,” Tohru leaned into the warm air coming from the vents.
The friends drove in comfortable silence, until Tohru remembered the feeling she had before and her face dropped.
“What’s wrong? What happened? Am I going too fast again?” Arisa Uosani looked down at the speedometer and winced, Tohru was not as big of a fan of the fast and reckless as she is.
Tohru waved her hands in front of her. “No, no. Well, yes. But that’s not whats wrong. I had a feeling earlier like something terrible is going to happen and I guess I’m just worried.” Even as she talked about it the feeling faded a little more, she forgot what she had seen, the memory of it joining the fog.
Arisa looked at her friend with concerned eyes, she hadn’t been the same Tohru since they graduated. Selfless to a fault, yes. Always apologizing when she doesn’t need to be, yes. Hard working, excessively so; but she had not had the same air of happiness that she had their last few years of school. It was as if she had reverted to the Tohru she was after her mom had died, filled with a secret pain she was unwilling to share the burden of.
“I’m sure everything will be fine, see, I’m slowing down! No terrible things happening today,” Arisa smiled as big as her face would allow her. Tohru smiled back but she did not feel any better, though it was getting harder to remember why, the feeling persisted.