Chapter Text
November 7th, 2019
Sudden squeaky noises from above woke Johnny up. He groaned, knowing that it could only mean that Diego was home and brought a girl over with him and they were going at it. Hard. Judging by the loudness of the noises Diego’s bed was making.
If Diego was having a girl over and they were making noise at all it meant he didn’t know his roommate had been napping in his own room and that Gyro and Hot Pants weren’t home.
Picking up a pillow, he covered his ears and tried going back to sleep, which was a complete failure. He picked up his phone from the bedside table and cursed at himself for lending his only pair of earbuds to Gyro.
“You know what? Fuck it.” he said to no one in particular, as he had the idea to interrupt Diego and his lady friend, whoever she was.
Clicking on the Twitter app, he tweeted the following:
‘My roommate is being obnoxious. Please share songs you’d least want to hear while having sex’
After waiting for the longest two minutes of his whole life, he finally had enough songs (and a few pity comments, the most notable one from Gyro, who expressed his blissfulness over not being home at the time) that he could make a playlist. That’s it, a playlist.
Opening Spotify, he created a playlist called ‘Diego you are a terrible roommate and you make my life worse’ and added the songs that had been suggested. As soon as he finished, he connected his phone to Diego’s room speakers through BlueTooth (which, much to Johnny’s pleasure, was always turned on during the day) and hit shuffle.
Johnny chuckled at the song that was randomly picked from the bunch, if this situation was with Hot Pants, he would be dead the second the song started.
Upstairs, just as Diego was about to go back to kissing Hot Pants on the neck, the song ‘Jesus Take The Wheel’ by Carrie Underwood started blasting, startling the lovers and forcing them to stop the act. Diego stared at the speakers while Hot Pants covered her face with both her hands in embarrassment, trying her hardest not to laugh.
“I am going to kill whichever one of the guys did this.” he said as he quickly got up, slipping his boxer briefs on and storming out of the room. He checked Gyro’s room, as it was closer to his and it being empty only meant the music was Johnny’s doing. As he loudly ran down the stairs he could hear the other blond’s laugh coming from his room.
Just as the chorus started, Diego burst into the room and ran to Johnny’s bed, taking the phone from his hands and stopping the music.
“Johnny, if you weren’t my roommate I would smash this phone against your face, hard. Do you think what you did was funny? I will get my revenge, just you wait” Diego said, immediately leaving the room after finishing the sentence, Johnny’s phone still in hand.
“Bro you have my phone-” he said as the door closed with a loud ‘bang’.
By the time Diego got back up to his room, Hot Pants was in her underwear and one of his Jurassic Park shirts, sitting on his bed with her back against the headboard, scrolling through something on her phone. She looked up at the shirtless blond, who looked to be fuming and had a phone in his hand.
“How did it go?” she asked as he closed the door behind him.
“Wish I could have hit him but alas, I did not, the bastard is gonna pay though” he waved Johnny’s phone in the air and went to sit on the bed next to her.
“I saw his tweets just now, Gyro also contributed to the playlist” she spoke.
“Playlist?! There is a whole playlist? I thought he just picked a song and decided to blast it. Does he actually have a death wish?”
“He also posted the link to the playlist,” she turned her phone to face him. “He very gracefully named it ‘Diego you are a terrible roommate and you make my life worse’, so yeah, now all his followers know which roommate was being obnoxious, as he worded it”.
“Technically, two roommates, but he doesn’t need to know that” he grinned, addressing the fact that he and Hot Pants were secretly dating.
“Should I fix myself, escape through the backdoor and come back through the front door to fool him into thinking I just got home? It would be weird if I was just chilling in my room while this whole commotion was going on, it’d be suspicious.” she suggested and Diego nodded along with it, paying no mind that Hot Pants still had his shirt on.
She put on the pants and shoes she wore earlier in the day, which had been on his floor, but kept on his shirt.
She walked down the stairs while fixing her hair and exited through the backdoor, not before picking her wallet and keys and putting them on her back pocket. She also put on deodorant and perfume, she couldn’t go out smelling like sweat. To kill some time she headed to the nearest grocery store to pick some stuff up that they needed anyways.
While on the line to pay for the groceries, she decided to check twitter. As soon as she opened it she was greeted by a selfie of Diego posted on Johnny’s account captioned ‘If this gets 15 retweets, Johnny’s big secret will be revealed by yours truly’ followed by a reply saying ‘Revenge sure is sweet’.
The retweets were at fourteen, which meant that if she retweeted it, Johnny’s secret would be revealed. She slowly and hesitantly hit the retweet button, as much as she was opposed to petty revenge, she was slightly pissed off at Johnny for interrupting her and Diego.
She knew what the secret was and it certainly wasn’t bad enough to ruin his life, otherwise, as angry as she was, she wouldn’t encourage Diego’s behavior in the slightest.
She paid for the groceries and went back home. Johnny was now on his wheelchair in the living room beside the couch, his phone back to his possession, probably looking at the tweets made by Diego, one of them being his secret. Understandably, he looked angry.
“Hello Johnny” she greeted.
“Why did you retweet the photo Diego posted?”.
“He asked me and I owed him a favor, sorry.” she lied, placing the grocery bag on the kitchen counter.
“Now the whole world knows I’m into bug bites, thanks a lot.” he spoke as he wheeled over to her to check the groceries out. “Uhh, Hot Pants?”.
“Yes?” she responded.
“Why are you wearing Diego’s shirt?”
She froze and immediately tried to think of a quick lie.
“I was running late to class this morning and couldn’t find any clean shirts in my wardrobe so Diego let me borrow one of his. That’s the favor I owed him”. Johnny only shrugged in response and continued checking out the groceries.
Later that day, it was dinner time and they were having a stew made by Hot Pants and the front door opened. Gyro came in, visibly tired after a long day full of classes as Thursdays were by far his most busy day when it came to college.
He put down his bag on the ground beside one of the couches and sat down at the dinner table. He noticed the awkward silence and the tension between Diego and Johnny. After taking one more look at Diego’s expression, Gyro grinned.
“Nyo-ho~” he exclaimed and turned to Johnny. “So, which song from the playlist did you end up playing?”.
“‘Jesus Take The Wheel’” Johnny replied in a quiet voice and Gyro laughed.
“I feel bad for the girl Diego brought over, the poor girl got interrupted by that song and had to run away from the house”.
“Who even was the girl? Do we know her?” Johnny asked, curiously.
Diego looked at Hot Pants. She was frozen, the food she was chewing on sat still in her mouth. Seeing as he was looking at her, she unfroze and kicked his leg to command him to look away from her to avoid suspicion from their roommates.
“No, you don’t know her. It’s just a girl I met the other day.” he lied and they all continued to eat.
Hot Pants picked up her phone and began typing something. Once she stopped typing, Diego received a notification on his.
‘We need to start being more careful’