Chapter Text
Sands_everywhere: You know what?
Rey typed furiously at the fifth person to attack her when she signed in to her instant messenger account after months of not using it.
She would have been using it this whole time if her step dad wasn’t a controlling freak. She would have been able to pop back on and thanked Matt again for taking her out that evening. They went to a movie in which she remembered to keep the stub even though she had to pee through the whole movie to prove it when she got home. In fact she remembered all of it...
Matt was a nice enough guy, one she’d hope she’d get to see again... and now here he is asking, “Do you remember me?”
He may not have been starting a fight or proving a point but Rey couldn’t handle her life anymore.
Everyone picked a fight.
Everyone...
And because of it, Matt just walked into a wall of pain with those four words.
He couldn’t have just said “hi” or made her feel like a person with, “it’s nice to see you,” or “how are you?” No.
Her eyes stared at his question a moment more before tearing into him.
Sands_everywhere: Yes, I remember you!
Rey waited until she could confirm he was still there, the message MattyMatt3 is typing before leaning into him.
Sands_everywhere: I remember the month we spent talking to each other before deciding to meet up.
Sands_everywhere: I remember all of it including getting destroyed when I got home but going out with you was worth it. I can take it. Apparently you can’t. Coming in here, attacking me with that lousy question. I’ve been gone for months, Matt, because my step dad stripped my room for the “trash” I brought home. Told me if I wanted you, I should live like the garbage I am.
She let that set in before ripping another reply out.
Sands_everywhere: He’s gonna find out I rigged his computer to find you and I’m gonna get in so much trouble for it but I was trying to find you to at least apologize. I don’t even know if I want to now.
MattyMatt3: You remember? Wait, what?
MattyMatt3: they think I’m trash?
Sands_everywhere: Yeah, I remember. I remember everything down to your cologne.
~*~
Matt sat dumbfounded in his cruiser set up for an obvious speed trap. He found himself not caring in the least that it he hadn’t even tried to be sneaky about it either. The boys back in HQ usually went all out with their stories, and how cool their spots were, but when Matt was assigned positions like these it made him really think about his life choices.
A girl that ghosted him a few months ago pushed him to make something of himself past who he though he already was. Matt was a gentleman. Okay, young minded and silly, but he was good to Rey when they went out. He remembered how she smiled and said thank you for everything even if it was as simple as offering her a napkin. She was just... nice and welcoming, and made him feel like he could be more than himself which really wasn’t a thought originally.
Matt came from an average sized family, the only difference was that most he knew didn’t have triplets. The baby of the three by a whopping twelve minutes, Matt had enough with the stereotypical concept that identical triplets were first, the same person of the same mind, and second, needed to dress the same too.
Back then, he was still bleaching his hair down to the roots, which took forever because of his natural onyx colored locks. And, while he ruled out getting tattoos because he knew his mother would find a way to remove it right away, Matt opted for a piercing or two. One on his tongue, and the other very simply on his left earlobe. He thought he was pretty tame considering he knew his friends had been open to much more.
Since he’d seen her though, he had been a little overweight, not entirely. He knew he had a bit of a gut that his mother entirely blamed on his brothers. Matt had been easily sucked into playing their games, games he’d lose , like eating a slider every time there was a flash back in Family Guy. Back then, it was great being a kid and paying for it, but after Rey, he blamed his size for losing her. Insecurities he never knew came to the forefront, and Matt did everything he could to change hoping she’d come back into his life.
Now he’s here sitting in his patrol car waiting for his chance to prove himself to her, show her what she’s been missing, maybe make her feel bad in the process... because who the hell kisses someone like that and disappears?... and then, those sixteen figures come up in his online list.
Matt could hardly believe it. She was there. Right there... and she hadn’t started a conversation with him yet. She always would the very moment she came online.
Did she really forget him?
Did she use him?
Matt could admit she broke his heart when she didn’t contact him up to a week later. He could be patient. That’s what his mom said at least. He was the most patient of the three, and that was for nearly everything except for when she’d bake. Then he couldn’t help himself, but neither could dad, so what was the harm? Point being, Matt knew how to wait. Weeks turned into months and by the third he’d already started as a rookie cop in the safest town in the history of the world.
It didn’t make ignoring Rey’s disappearance easier either. The man had time, so much...time...
Seeing her online was a rush of emotions. He could have said anything, “hi,” or “hello,” or a smiley face like he usually did, but after all this time getting right to the point seemed right.
It wasn’t though.
Rey as sweet as he remembered wasn’t being sweet now. What did he do?
She really ripped into him but when he saw she remembered him, even the cologne he wore all that time ago, it had his mind floating off in the clouds.
Several pings had him blinking back at his screen.
Sands_everywhere: I remember how tall you were. It sounds weird but I felt safe next to you because of it. I’ve never
Sands_everywhere: I’ve never had that.
Sands_everywhere: where someone could have...
Sands_everywhere: you know what it doesn’t matter. The point is I remember you. You were nice to me, I had a nice time and wanted to see you again.
Matt couldn’t help but need to know what he could have been to her and why she never talked to him after especially if she couldn’t tell him months ago.
MattyMatt3: What could I have been? Rey you disappeared. I’ve been here waiting for you
Sands_everywhere: and you want answers?
Sands_everywhere: just like everyone else. I thought you were more than that Matt.
MattyMatt3: I AM MORE THAN THAT!
MattyMatt3: Rey, I don’t know what’s going on with you but I thought we had something.
MattyMatt3: You can’t just go around kissing people like that and think you’re not fucking them up inside. You could have told me this was just for fun.
MattyMatt3: I have feelings too. You told me you liked me, was that a lie?
Matt was shaking, furious with himself for even trying. She didn’t care about him. It’s why she stopped all communication after. It made sense now.
Sands_everywhere: are you for real, Matt?
Sands_everywhere: do you remember what you asked me while we were talking?
Sands_everywhere: you asked me about how I was raised. Do you know what I said back to you?
Of course he remembered. It stuck out to him. It took forever for her to respond, finally coming back with something he couldn’t see having to say to anyone:
MattyMatt3: “Please don’t judge me based on my family life.”
Sands_everywhere: .......you have no idea what I’ve gone through since then.
MattyMatt3: then tell me.
MattyMatt3: Please?
Sands_everywhere: you wouldn’t understand.
MattyMatt3: try me. I’ve seen a lot... and have time.
He was sure she log. She never did do well with the more emotional conversations anyway.
MattyMatt3: you said they called me trash. Do you think that too?
Sands_everywhere: no Matt. I don’t.
Sands_everywhere: my parents, well my mom, she keeps my step dad around because she’s afraid of leaving him. My dad died when I was younger. Didn’t know him. Bill, my step dad, tells me he was a user, but mom said it was an accident. What kind? I don’t know. But Bill is... well
Sands_everywhere: I’m gonna get destroyed for telling you. You can’t say anything, okay?”
Matt’s heart broke for her more than it did the first time. She was living in fear, that much was true.
Sands_everywhere: Matt?
MattyMatt3: I’m here. And I won’t.
He didn’t have to tell her he was a cop or that he had, by law, to if she was truly in danger. If he did she wouldn’t tell him... and more than anything, he found he wanted the answers. Needed them.
Another thought passed. Leaving his post sounded right. He could go, maybe see if she still lived in that big white house on the top of the hill by the high school. He could find her. Maybe ask her out again, for coffee, maybe to talk... he nodded through the ache in his chest.
~*~
Rey sat at her step dad’s computer, her ears hyper aware of all movement, tapping away into the night. The glow alone had her frightened. He would see her, he would find out. She kept the browser open to erase all her history in the event that she had time to get rid of her choices. He didn’t need to see how she’d tatted him out, but Matt, he needed to know what happened. She needed a chance to defend herself.
Sands_everywhere: Bill is a control freak. They live in this crazy world where if people aren’t up to the standards they see people set for them, they tear it to shreds. I’m not like them. But I knew I’d be in for it the moment to stuck out your tongue and showed your piercing to them. It’s a surprise I was allowed out.
Sands_everywhere: I don’t think like that... I know what that’s like, I live it all the time. Matt I have to reinvent myself constantly for the chance at love here. It’s all an empty promise. I know this. I’ve known forever.
Sands_everywhere: it doesn’t matter.
Sands_everywhere: what does is being out with you... it made me feel like a person. You...you did that in four hours, nearly three of which we were at the movies and had to be quiet for.
He was sweet even then. Let her have the arm rest, something she never gets. Not that going to the movies was a frequent thing for her, but they shared popcorn and a soda and she was allowed to rest her head on his shoulder. A few times he even put his arm around her, the thought of it made her sniffle.
Being at the other side of the house, the one furthest from the street, overlooking the sad excuse for a backyard they had made her jumpy. This time she stiffened at the sound of a car parking. She kept her eyes wide, controlled her breathing and waited.
And waited...
MattyMatt3: if I really made you feel like that, why didn’t you tell me?
Sands_everywhere: I tried.
MattyMatt3: when?
Sands_everywhere: I kissed you... didn’t I?
MattyMatt3: but you said other people were mad at you.
Sands_everywhere: .............
Sands_everywhere: yes other people for other reasons. Not dating. I’m not that girl.
Sands_everywhere: i can still feel it, ya know.
~*~
Matt was dying outside her house, still wondering if he should get out and look around. Several times he made his way to open the door, stopping at the thought of both what it would look like to be snooping around, and what his mom would say. He cringed equally at both thoughts. He wasn’t some creeper and Maker this would look so bad as a rookie...but didn’t she sort of give him probable cause?
He did need to find out if she was okay and all. He could go off of what she sent him, if anyone asked, right?
Right? He aided himself, landing on yes being the only answer he could live with.
The house she lived in was white with black shutters and a red door that used to be green. It made him wonder if they were just looking to change it up or if there was a new family living there. Matt shook his head trying to get past the possibilities and move on to the facts.
A closer look revealed pristinely kept rooms he could have sworn never saw life. Rounding the home he figured it had been on a timer. Scanning the rest of the property he found a white glow through the hallway. He remembered being in the kitchen before it, how big it was, how dressed up it seemed...like it belonged in a Pottery Barn magazine. For a moment, he wondered if that’s what she meant but moved on towards the back to see about that white glow.
Windows lined that room took up the majority of the wall making it easier for him to search the place, what didn’t was the damned prickle bushes growing up against them. He’d struggled for a few minutes with it sticking into his uniform before it finally granted him the access he was after.
It all paid off to some degree finding her in the window at the desk across the room. He’d seen how she’d use the sleeve of her shirt to wipe her eyes then her nose like a child. Was she crying?
What happened?
Matt looked down at his phone to a slew of messages he missed trying to find her showed up on it now.
Sands_everywhere: I’ve never felt so comfortable.
Sands_everywhere: when you dropped me off it was practically an ambush. They waited for you to drive off before they started screaming at me. But i can handle it. I could. I stood up for you, ya know that?
Sands_everywhere: ya know what I got for it? Punished is what!
Sands_everywhere: They took away everything. Not that I had much. But I didn't even think to ask for your number. At least then I could have called - even if it was just from a payphone, just to leave a message n tell you what happened. But no.
Sands_everywhere: and now I’m here yelling … typing at you and there’s
She hit the return button, and scrambled to close everything out. Off went the glow and she scrambled away from the chair in a panic, staring at the door.
What was she doing?
“Why is there a police car outside of our house?” A man’s voice roared through the space.
Rey looked like a scared animal, her chest rising and falling, her eyes searching for a way out eyed the windows, right where he was. She swiped something from the desk, keys he thinks, then rushes the window, pushing open the top only to turn and grip the gutters, pulling her thin frame up onto it. Matt could only watch, his mouth hanging open at the way she moved. Fear was evident or she wouldn’t have exited as she did.
He couldn’t hear her after that making him wonder if she jumped down. Matt found himself struggling out from his hiding space and off in the direction she’d gone in to hope to find her.
“Come on, Matt, I told you not to tell,” he heard her whisper.
~*~
Rey found herself barefoot and on the lowest peak of her family’s house trying to figure out the safest way down. There really wasn’t one. The best way down was in the back, where she climbed up but there was no way she’d let Bill see her up there. Instead, Rey waited and waited until the commotion faded and the light shut out. She was shivering by then, moving to uncover her bare feet from her jacket to put it back on her shoulders for the jump, Rey crouched in position to take the jump. Unfortunately for her, she’d only made it to the neighbors a handful of times, and was certain this would not be the time either.
Her first indication was over her foot falls, they seemed off. Her muscles were drained from arguing and most definitely saddened over speaking to Matt the way she did. He had the right to know but she didn’t have the strength to tell.
Her last foot before leaping off of the edge had been steady enough, but caught on the wind was her name. Who could have said it?
It wasn’t Bill. His voice was gruff like a man who had smoked a carton a day but it wasn’t soft either. Deep. Familiar… and certainly not in her head.
She left the house with far less umph and braced herself for hitting the rock wall that separated the two properties. She’d crumpled up into a ball feeling a large warm hand press against her stomach. It all happened so fast. Someone was out there. Someone knew her name. They caught her and pulled her into their body causing her fight or flight mode to pick a side. Using the remainder of her strength she whipped her head back hitting the person hard in the face. Where? She didn’t know. But even then he didn’t let go. Instead another large hand found her mouth, hushing her as he could.
“Maker, Rey,” he groaned. “Please calm down. You’re okay. No one can hurt you. I’m here,” he said, stilling a beat before remembering to introduce himself. “It’s Matt.”