Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I’m not supposed to be here,” Nate Jacobs slammed his hands on the large metal table, sending a metallic noise throughout the small room that he was sitting in. “I’m not crazy!”

“It’s not about you being crazy, it’s about you properly dealing with your feelings, especially the impulsive feelings.” The voice flooded the room from a loudspeaker. “You need to take a deep breath and relax, then we can proceed.”

“Fuck that!” He stood up swiftly, sending the table toppling over as he rushed towards the large windows. Knowing that whoever was on the other side could see him. “Let me the fuck out of here!”

“Can’t do that.” Cal’s voice was now in the room. “It’s for your own good Nate. It’ll finally free you up and have eyes look elsewhere. It’s for two weeks and you’ll be free to go back to life.”

Nate scoffed as he pounded on the windows. “Let me the fuck out of here!” He shouted before he felt a poke followed by a sudden rush of calm. “Let me fucking go!”

Day One

Nate Jacobs walked around the courtyard, trying to piece together the events of the last twelve hours and exactly what would’ve lead his dad to check him into some sort of mental hospital. Yeah, he had anger issues but so did every teenage boy his age. How was his anger different than anyone else’s? He shook his head, his eyes scanning the place.

He was attempting to locate a friendly face, one that would explain to him the process of the program because he sure as fuck hadn’t been paying attention during the so called orientation and tour. He was too worked up and too pissed off to even process this whole disaster of a plan.

“You’re like hella tall,” the short blonde looked up at Nate and smiled. “They gave you the shot didn’t they?”

He rubbed the back of his neck before he gave a single nod and looked down at the blonde. She was cute, petite and her lips were glossed and pouty. Reminding him of Maddy’s. “You the welcoming committee?”

“Nah.” She rolled her eyes and smirked. “I’m Kallisto but everyone calls me Kalli.” She shrugged lazily. “What are you in for?”

“My dad thinks I have anger issues,” he stated matter of factly. “He thinks this place will be able to help me or some stupid shit. Has it helped you?”

She nodded slowly. “It’s helped me realize that I don’t want to be here, so I’m going to play their game and get the fuck out of here.” She smiled at him. “Tell then what they want to here and you’ll be out in two weeks. My first two weeks, I fucked so I got extra time now I’m set to leave in thirteen days.”

“I’m Nate,” he nodded. “So, I just have to play by their rules and get through this shit? I can do that.” He looked around again before back down at Kalli. “You here because of anger too?”

“Anger, violence, disobedience,” Kalli giggled softly. “A smorgasbord of issues to be honest.” She shrugged. “My dad is getting remarried to some cunt of a woman and she comes with two daughters who I knew from school, they’re always doing some dumb shit to me and I finally had enough and snapped. Daddy dearest sent me here to appease his wife. Promised me my dream car if I just buck up and get through it.”

Nate eyed her carefully before smirking. She was trouble and it was trouble he wanted to get into. “You get out before me but we should stay in touch. I think you and I could have some real fun outside of this fucked up place.”

She nodded slowly, checking him out slowly once more. She had noticed him the moment he stepped through the sliding glass doors of the place. He was tall and he was handsome. He also seemed broken and confused. She knew she just had to sink her claws into him, see just how much he needed to feel like the big bad knight in shining armor. “I agree, we could have a lot of fun.” She bit her bottom lip. “I’ll see you after group.”

“Group?” He looked at the blonde before she smiled at him and walked away. “What the fuck is group?”

Group. Two of the longest hours that Nate had to sit through. It was even worse than the church stint that his mom had put them on when he was in middle school. It was person after person, standing up and choking out their sob stories and how they landed here and how they were going to change. He couldn’t help but scoff and roll his eyes during the duration of the group.

He got called on but he was new and wasn’t pressured into standing up and saying his piece. Instead he looked at his hands and fidgeted until Kalli got up and cleared her throat. He turned his attention to her, watching as she rocked back and forth, her voice still soft as she summed up her story.

“I’m Kallisto, stupid name I know, so call me Kalli. I’m sixteen and I’m a junior in high school. I’m here because I beat up one of my soon to be step sisters and stabbed the other one with a fork because they were bullying me but I landed here. It’s okay though because I’ve really grown and keep learning tools to better control my anger.”

He sensed the sarcasm in her voice but was entertained that the therapist leading the group missed it entirely. He walked into the rec room and straight towards Kalli who was splayed out on a table, her left leg hanging over the side. God, he was so intrigued. “Kalli.”

“Nate, is it Nathan or Nathaniel?” She turned her head slightly to smile at him. “You gotta speak in the next group. Otherwise they’ll see you as not growing and learning.”

“Did you really stab your step sister with a fork?” He sat down at the table. “It’s just Nate.”

“Okay Nate,” she sat up slowly. “I really did, right in her fat ass thigh, it got stuck. It was satisfying.”

“Yeah, you need to be here.” He smirked at her. “You sound like a psycho.”

Kalli feigned offense. “Oh, a psycho huh? Thank you.” She patted his shoulder. “You haven’t even see me in action.” She dropped down next to him. “I say, the day you’re back home, you hit me up and I will show you just how psycho I am. Oh, maybe you can do me a favor. I know, we just met but I figured the next two weeks, we’ll be proper buddies.”

“Is that right?” He looked at her before tucking her hair before her ear. “I’ve got big plans for you. I hope you're prepared for what you’re going to get into as soon as we leave this place.”

“I hope you’re prepared for what you’re getting into.” She patted his cheek. “Use your time here wisely, you really pick up some good psych methods during therapy.” She stood up and smiled at him. “Later Just Nate.”

Chapter Text

Day Two

Nate Jacobs stalked through the cafeteria, his arms stiffly at his sides as his hands clenched and relaxed rapidly. He had just gotten out of a therapy session and he was beyond pissed off. He felt that it was a waste of his time, especially when the therapist had suggested that maybe he wasn’t as straight as he thought he was.

Just because he had a thing for Jules didn’t mean he was anything other than straight. Yes, she was born male just as he was but now she was a girl and that meant he was straight. Right? Of course he was straight, he liked Maddy and he was pretty sure he was attracted to Kalli. Stupidly attracted.

He wasn’t ever going to admit that though because he was about to use her to get Maddy back or at least make her jealous. He let out a huge huff as he stopped just short of Kalli who was laying on top of a table, a leg dangling off. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Kalli turned her head slightly to look at the young man and smirked. “Therapy session huh? I remember my first session, she fucked me up. It was insane.” She sat up slowly and and patted beside her. “You only get mad of what she says is true or has some truth behind it.”

He shrugged as he sat down beside her and grabbed her wrist, holding it up. “Thought we couldn’t have personal effects.”

She chuckled. “I made this in art therapy. It’s nowhere near my usual bracelets but it’ll do. I think it’s quirky.” She shrugged. “I think you need to take a few deep breaths. Sometimes it’s hard to hear shit about yourself that you’re in denial about.”

Nate nodded slowly as he stood up and shook his arms out. “I just want to get the fuck out of here. I don’t deserve to be in this place.”

“None of us feel like we deserve to be here,” she laid back down. “You can run away but your parents will probably ship you right back here.” She smirked at him. “Do the time and get out of here, spew some bullshit to your parents and when you turn eighteen then you need to move the fuck out.”

He smirked back at her. “We should run away together, fuck our parents over.”

“Or, we can finish the programs out and then runaway. I have to or I’m getting locked up. I prefer this than jail.” She sat back up. “What was said in therapy that has you so worked up?”

Nate looked at her before sighing. “The therapist thinks I’m gay or some shit.”

“That’s it?” She grabbed his hand. “That’s not the end of the world and you can totally be whatever you fucking want to be but what makes the doctor think that?”

He shrugged. “I liked a girl who used to not be a girl and I was on some gay dating app for a bit.” He shook his head. “I got into therapy and just started sharing my entire fucking life story and I don’t know why.”

Kalli squeezed his hand. “Because it’s a safe place and you felt safe. I tried to oppose it too but ended up spilling my story.”

Nate pulled his hand away and rubbed his forehead. “I can’t do this shit. The emotions and feelings. It’s way too fucking much. This is not who I am.”

The blonde rolled her eyes and looked away. “Well, maybe just maybe you’ll get something out of all of this and be even better than what you are now.” She tilted her head slightly. “New and improved Nate.” It was a game, she knew he needed an ego boost and she was going to give it to him. “Tall, athletic, handsome, probably rich since you’re here. Add in touch with your feelings and you’ll land the girl of your dreams.”

“I can’t do this shit,” he shook his head. “I gotta get out of here.” He moved away from the blonde. “I’ll see you later.”

Kalli gently dabbed the glitter around her eyes as she sat on the hard metal bench. It was arts and crafts time and her favorite supply of course was the glitter. She hogged it for herself. Slipping vials in her bra when no one was paying attention. It was the closest to makeup that she was going to get in here and no one seemed to mind it when her face was particularly sparkly.

She leaned back, her eyes finding Nate who was sitting by himself, his head on the table as he watched everyone pass him by. With a slight huff she moved off of the bench and ambled towards the young man. “Boo.”

Nate eyed Kalli carefully before groaning inwardly. Of course she would remind him of both Jules and Maddy. Jules’ makeup and quirkiness mixed with Maddy’s soft curves. He took in the way her leggings hugged her in the best way possible. “I don’t do art.”

“I’m here for the glitter.” She sat down and trailed her nails slightly over his arm. “Also the snacks, I hear we’re getting two juice boxes with our sandwich today.” She laughed softly. “I was thinking about what you said earlier.”

He grabbed her wrist roughly and shook his head. “Forget I said shit about it. It’s stupid, I know what I am.” He watched her face twist up before he released his grip. “I’m sorry.”

Kalli shook her wrist out and started to retreat slowly away from the young man as he stood up and reached his full height. He simply towered over her and the comfort she originally felt with him was now quickly fading away. “I’m going to get back to my art.”

Nate rubbed his face as he looked down at her, it was one thing to see the look on Maddys face but to now see the fear on Kalli was eye opening. He just couldn’t understand why he hurt the ones he actually liked. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Nate.” She nodded her head as she glanced around the room. “I’m just going to go back to the whole art thing. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” He followed after her. “I did something not you.”

Kalli sat down at her work station and shrugged. “Yeah but I made you mad. I am sorry for upsetting you Nate. I didn’t mean to. I promise, okay?”

Nate took a seat next to her, finally figuring out her major flaw. “It’s been two days since we met, alright? I feel like we’ve known each other for a good fucking while, right? I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that but you didn’t do shit to me.”

“Okay,” she avoided looking at him, her eyes on the box of glitter on the table. “It’s a habit that I’m working on. It’s a long story.” She looked at him. “We’re young, most of us don’t really know what we are for sure yet and the ones that do, I guess they’re lucky.” She stood up and grabbed the box and shrugged. “Don’t implode because you may turn out to be something you programmed yourself to hate.”

“Kalli! The box of glitter stays in here!” A redhead walked over to the pair. “Hello Mr. Jacobs. I see that you met the resident glitter thief.”

“Yeah,” Nate nodded. “Why can’t she have glitter?”

“She can but she cannot steal the entire facility’s supply.” She laughed. “She already has some on her face and I’m sure if I search her she has some on her person.”

Kalli sat the box down. “I’m so ready to leave this place and have my makeup and pink hair back. I don’t want to hear the negativity from you today Frances, not all of us can be a natural redhead and pink hair is a phase that most blondes go through. Blue hair too, I don’t want your judgment.”

Frances looked at the teenage girl. “Uh oh, someone is getting cranky.” She shook her head and pursed her lips. “Let’s go for a nice quick walk Kalli, melt that anger away. Bye Nate!”

“Later Nate,” Kalli tossed him a bottle of black glitter. “Makes me think of you.”

Nate shook the bottle and stared at the glitter. Black. What did that even mean? He makes her think of black glitter. It was the strangest compliment he had ever gotten. If it was even a compliment.

Chapter Text

Day Three

Nate Jacobs shook the vial of glitter and looked around the rec room. Hoping to lay eyes on Kalli before he slipped into his therapy session. He wanted to know why he was the black glitter to her. “Fuck.”

“Nate, I’m ready if you are.” A brunette smiled at the young man. “Come on into my office, we can pick up where we left off yesterday.”

He stood up and pocketed the glitter before following after the doctor. Who was way too thin for how tall she was. It would’ve been acceptable if she were a model but since she wasn’t, it just wasn’t attractive to him. Another turn off to add to his already long list. “We really have to do therapy every day huh?”

She smiled as she took her seat. “Yeah, it’s a good way to get everything out in such a short amount of time. We only have you here for two weeks and we want you to walk out feeling lighter.”

He settled into the chair and looked at the woman carefully. “I guess since yesterday, I’ve been overthinking my sexuality.” He didn’t know why he opened up to her but to be honest she was the only person who ever wanted to hear what was on his mind and how he was feeling. In this office he didn’t have to be the tough jock or the prodigal son. He could just be as vulnerable as he wanted to be. “I just know I’m attracted to girls.”

“Which is good, I wasn’t suggesting that you weren’t attracted to only girls. I was just trying to figure out how you could explore your feelings and know that there is more to sexuality than straight or gay.” She nodded. “How are your relationships with your parents?”

“Nonexistent. I don’t respect either of them but it’s more so fear that makes me have a fucked relationship with my dad.” He shrugged. “He’s the one that’s gay. He’s had this collection of homemade porn with guys since I can remember. Gay guys, guys who dress like girls and guys who used to be guys but are now girls.”

“It’s a secret that he kept and you have kept for him? Does he know that you know about the movies?” She looked up from her notepad. “That has to be a burden to keep.”

He shook his head slowly. “I think that he knows that I know but it’s never been spoken out loud.” He scoffed. “It’s just bullshit you know, you’ve got a family and it’s not like we’re bad to him. He thinks my brother is a fuck up but we’re all fucked up, especially him. He’s fucked us all up. He is just better at faking perfection than my brother. I’m scared I’ll end up like my dad and I don’t want that shit.”

“Would you say that your dad is abusive, whether it be mentally or physically?” She leaned forward slightly. “I see that you had been accused of putting your hands on your girlfriend Maddy.”

“Ex girlfriend,” he nodded. “Mentally and physically but it’s something I have just dealt with. I apologized for putting my hands on Maddy. I didn’t mean to hurt her, I love that girl.”

She nodded slowly. “Do you have any friends that you can talk to? Who do you go to when you just have to vent?”

Nate shook his head. “I don’t, when I need to vent I take it to the football field and let it out. I’m the quarterback, I can’t simply be emotional and in my feelings. My team wouldn’t respect me.” He smirked. “I can’t be anything other than Nate Jacobs, the popular jock.”

“Hey, what’s this mean?” Nate held the glitter in front of Kalli’s face. “I make you think of black glitter?”

Kalli rolled her eyes and took a bite of her apple. “You’re dark but you still have a gleam and sparkle to you. Like, the night sky, you can see the stars and they’re pretty. It wasn’t meant to be offensive or any shit like that Nate.”

“Where were you all morning? You missed group and breakfast.” He pocketed the glitter. “You get in trouble for the glitter?”

She shook her head. “I wasn’t feeling up to anything this morning so I skipped everything except for my personal therapy session. I had to reset. I needed to decompress. You should try it sometime.

“Sex,” he shrugged. “That’s how I decompress.”

“Poor girl,” she laughed. “You cannot be good in bed if you’re fucking your anger out.”

Nate looked at her before shaking his head. “I’ve never had any complaints.”

“I wouldn’t complain either, look at you.” Kalli trailed her fingers lazily through her hair. “You’re huge and you’re angry. I would make sure you were good and fake an orgasm.”

He dragged a hand down his face before leaning closer to her. “You have no idea, no fucking idea.” He smacked the table. “Maddy wouldn’t lie.”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t, I’m saying what I would personally do and you should ease up. I’m voicing my opinion.” She stood up and shrugged. “Don’t get so worked up. It’s my opinion it isn’t fact. No need to get all angry over my irrelevant opinion. We probably won’t even end up talking when we get out of this place. Take it with a grain of salt Nate.”

“You’re fucking irritating,” Nate followed after the blonde. “No one asked for your opinion.”

Kalli laughed as she glanced back at Nate. “And?” She walked towards a secluded back area. “You continue to speak to me and open up, I’m going to give you my opinion. It’s what I do.” She turned around and smiled up at him as he scowled at her. “Nate Jacobs, I’m going to be the death of you while we’re here.” She poked at his chest. “I know what you want from me Nate.”

Nate looked past her before back down at her. “I don’t know what you want from me and that’s driving me fucking insane and we’ve only known each other for three fucking days.” He rested his hands on his hips before tilting his head back and huffing. “I can’t read you like I can read Maddy or any other girl.”

“Maybe I want friendship,” She chuckled. “I guess you have ten more days to figure it out before I’m out of this place.” Kalli knew she was being more annoying than anything else. Her ideas and plans had definitely changed from day one. She needed a different approach and something told her that Nate didn’t need another damsel in distress to play knight in shining armor with. He needed to meet his match, someone who was going to push back against him and not take his shit. She worked that out when he just looked irritated when she apologized for him grabbing her. “I’ll see you around.”

Chapter Text

Day Four

Nate Jacobs sat in the shade a small smile on his lips as he watched Frances chase after Kalli, a pair of leggings clutched in her hands as she yelled over and over that skirts were against policy and that Kalli needed to change immediately. The chase had been going on for the past ten minutes and he couldn’t complain at all. It was pure entertainment and everyone seemed to be enjoying the show.

“Kalli is a mess!” Frances shouted as she stopped in front of Nate. “Your girlfriend is a mess.”

“She’s not my girlfriend, she’s just a friend.” Nate waved the woman off. “Her skirt isn’t hurting anyone. Girls wear shorter skirts at my school. Hers is the perfect length.”

The redhead tried to catch her breath. “I am so sorry. I just assumed since you two have been together all four days.” She chuckled. “It’s common here, we try to stop it but the kids are gonna do what they wanna do.”

He shook his head again. “It’s fine, we get along and she gives me hell.” He stood up and shrugged. “She’s not even my type.”

Frances laughed. “Say that one more time to convince yourself of that.” She started to walk off. “Kallisto!”

“I put some pants on!” Kalli walked up to Frances. “God, can a girl just get a little freedom around here?” She smiled at the woman. “I’m sorry for making you run, I know you hate running and think it’s only for when you’re running for your life.”

“How about two hours of lockdown,” Frances grabbed Kalli’s hand. “Let’s go, now.”

The blonde groaned. “Just for a dress code violation? Come on!” She smiled. “I will give you my skirt!”

“You know, he said you’re not his type, I know you like the kid but I wouldn’t go there.” Frances stopped walking and looked at the teen. “Remember why you’re here. Yourself.”

“I know,” Kalli nodded slowly. “I’m not his type. I don’t want to date him. I just feel like he has to be my friend. I just feel this utmost need to tell him about himself and his behavior.” She laughed. “He’s an asshole. I think it’s going to be super entertaining to watch him question himself by the time he’s ready to leave.”

The woman shook her head as she dropped Kalli’s hand. “Kallisto, you cannot continue the same destructive behavior that landed you in this place again. When you leave here, I hope you don’t come back. You’re a favorite of mine and all I want to do is see you succeed. You don’t have to go to lockdown, It won’t do anything for you.”

“Finally, someone who understands that lockdowns don’t work for everyone,” The teen sighed as she trailed her fingers through her hair. “I am not coming back here. I’ll refuse, plus I have so many plans. If my parents don’t get me, then I’m just going to live with my grandparents or something. I don’t like it, I don’t want my parents or step-parents pissed off but no one ever took a second to ask me how I felt about it all. I was never asked if I like my stepdad or my stepmom, or the idea of having step-siblings. I just had to accept it because it’s what the adults wanted and I didn’t matter until I started getting in trouble.”

Frances tapped her chin and nodded. “That is something to work out in therapy, it’ll be good for your soul.” She smiled as she hugged the teen. “Go on, have some fun before the next activity.”

Kalli nodded, watching as Frances sauntered away before she began to comb her fingers through her hair again, her teeth raking over her bottom lip as she waited until Frances was out of sight to make her way towards Nate. She flashed him a smile before settling in next to him. “So, what did you think of the show?”

Nate glanced at her before he shook his head slowly and smirked. It was a madhouse and he wasn’t surprised that Kalli would get into trouble, he was surprised by the fact that Frances seemed more human and more caring than he originally gave her credit for. He chuckled. “It was a good show, the best entertainment I have had all day.”

She laughed as she braided her hair off, it was lifeless. In the sense, it had been stripped of its unnatural pink color. Her favorite color to dye her hair when she was on the verge of a breakdown. It was her security blanket and now that she was just boring and blonde, she couldn’t figure out how to manage everyone here seeing the real her. The real Kalli, or rather Kallisto. “You’re very welcome Nate.”

“I’m trying to get out of here,” He relaxed into his lazy posture as he looked at Kalli carefully. He still wasn’t too crazy about her being blonde but something about her made him want to be crazy about her or with her. He hadn’t figured that out either. He knew she would make Maddy jealous but he also knew there was something more there, something he needed to uncover and discover. “I talked to my mom this morning, she kept apologizing and saying this was the only option besides jail for me.”

Kalli nodded slowly as she fidgeted with the hem of her shirt and sighed. She was already halfway out of the door of the treatment center. She knew the program worked and she knew how to work it, however, she also figured that Nate needed this. She could see his anger coursing through him, just simply from the flex of his jaw and the tension in his hands that caused his veins to show. “Agreed, having a mental health treatment record is way better than a criminal record.”

“It is,” He nodded slowly as he looked past Kalli and shrugged. “I am untouchable, I wouldn’t get a criminal record. I’m the boy next door, no judge is throwing me in jail.”

“Unless you meet one who’s aching to make an example out of a boy next door.” She grabbed his hand and tapped on his vein. “Listen, you have all this anger and it’s bound to blow up sooner or later, maybe learn to channel it and you’ll avoid being made an example out of it.”

He pulled his hand back and smirked at her. “Like I said, I’m untouchable.”

She rolled her eyes as she stood up and offered up a small smile. “I have no doubt that you believe you’re untouchable but it’s about how others see you Nate Jacobs. You aren’t going to be untouchable to everyone you meet. You’ll meet your match and you won’t be able to charm your way out of a situation.”

He stood up, towering over her and smiling. “We shall see how life plays out for me.” He shrugged lazily. “I just know that I’ll always be untouchable.”

Kalli dropped down next to Nate and smirked at him. She had happily watched as Nate had been hauled out of dinner by four security guards. So much for being untouchable. “So, how was it? Being tossed into solitary for a few hours? Time out of you will. It gets to you huh? Being all alone with your thoughts in absolute silence and poor lighting.”

Nate glanced at her, he was irritated to his bones. He wasn’t going to admit the toll the four hour stint in the box had taken on him. He wanted to keep his alpha male persona going. “It was stupid, I napped.”

“Lucky you,” She trailed her fingers through the grass and nodded slightly. “I may get out early, good behavior or whatever. Making progress and working the program the way I’m supposed to be working it. Started this new medicine this morning, the doctors are hopeful it’ll make everything in my head click. They said I’m bipolar.”

“Of course you’re bipolar, it makes sense,” he smiled softly. “And I’ve only known you for about four days now.”

She rolled her eyes before shrugging as she lowered backwards onto the grass and shielded her eyes from the sun. “I don’t know what to do with the new diagnosis and the new medicine but I do know that I have to do something and I have to try it out. See if it changes anything. It’s a guessing game at best.”

“That’s all that medicine is, guessing to see what will work for someone and what won’t.” Nate shrugged slightly as he rubbed his jaw. “They want us to think it’s an exact science so people keep going into debt to be a doctor and they see patient after patient and just guess what medicine will ease a disorder or a disease. Then you get side effects but it’s better than the main issue, right? So you start medicine for your bipolar, a side effect can be that you gain weight, then you’ve got the disorder under control but now you’re twenty pounds heavier and depressed, so here’s another little pill and now the side effect is that it suppresses your appetite. My mom has gone through so many pills trying to fight her depression. She’s seen as this dutiful wife and mother but she’s secretly battling demons because she wants to impress the PTA who could give two shits about her.”

“I guess I never broke it down like that,” She opened her eyes and looked at him. “So, Dr. Jacobs, what’s your diagnosis of yourself. In all of your absolute honesty? Your secret is safe with me, cross my heart and hope to die.” She flashed him a genuine grin and propped herself up on her elbows. “Come on I wanna know.”

“Honestly?” He looked at her carefully before dropping his gaze to his hands. He had no idea what was wrong with him past him questioning his sexuality and his anger issues. Both he could pin on being a product of the environment he was in. Beyond that his guess was as good as anyone else’s. Nate Jacobs had no idea what was really wrong with him besides typical teenage bullshit and that was scary. “I have not a single fucking idea.”

Chapter Text

Day Five

Nate Jacobs continued to ponder over the question that Kalli had asked him. So, Dr. Jacobs, what’s your diagnosis of yourself? He still hadn’t come up with an idea. Which had to mean nothing was seriously wrong with him, mentally at least. He was just dealing with normal teenage bullshit. Questioning his sexuality and being angry. Two very normal teen things. He smirked to himself as he turned the vial over in his hands before slipping it back into his pocket. He had no reason to really be in this place, he was just avoiding a jail sentence. This was all to please the courts and get his name free and clear.

He scoffed as he watched Kalli carefully, she was currently in a manic mood, or at least that’s what he took it as. From the moment she stepped into the room, her vibes were manic and frantic. She couldn’t sit still to save her life and now that the room was nearly empty all she wanted to do was run through the activity books and do all of the connect the dot games. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good, why wouldn’t I be? What have you heard?” Kalli looked up, studying the young man carefully. “I just get in these moods and headspaces when I haven’t slept well. I didn’t really sleep last night, I got into it with my mom before bed and it’s stupid.” She shrugged as she started back on her activity. “These help me focus and recenter, it’s dumb. My mom used to give these to me when she couldn’t figure out how to calm me down.”

Nate settled into the seat besides the blonde and rested his hands over hers. Something his mom used to do when he would be so wired up he couldn’t keep still or focus. “Pick out something in this room and focus on it, my mom used to make me do this all of the fucking time. It still helps me from time to time.” He shrugged lazily. “Or you can continue connecting dots very fucking badly.”

She laughed as she set the marker down and took his hands. “Or you can tell me what you diagnosed yourself with. Get my mind off of everything completely.” She dropped his hands before rubbing his jaw with her thumbs. “Or are you just boring and completely normal?”

He shrugged again, slouching into himself as he looked at her. “Boring and normal. Two things that aren’t too bad. Right?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never been normal or boring.” She laughed as she gestured to their surroundings. “Hello, we’re both locked away in a mental health rehab center. There’s something wrong with the both of us. I think you’re a narcissist. You’ve got a case of narcissism personality disorder. No big deal, it’s common in guys. Especially alpha males like yourself.”

“So, you’re saying that you think I have a narcissistic personality?” He scoffed. “You are diagnosing me?”

Kalli nodded slowly before dropping her hands and pulling them to her body. She could see the anger boiling up in the young man. He sat up straighter, his hands now in fists, the veins prominent in his neck and hands. He was one wrong word from snapping at her and she could do nothing but swallow the fear and give him her observations from the last five days. “No, you suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. You’re entitled, lack any sympathy or empathy for others, you seem to think you’re owed admiration and most importantly, you can’t take the smallest amount of criticism. You went from completely vulnerable and open to closed off in a matter of seconds because I gave you my opinion of you and you don’t like it when people think negatively of you huh? You want the world to love and admire all that Nate Jacobs is. All that you put out into the world. We have to ignore the bad because you’re handsome as hell and have some good qualities?”

“I didn’t ask for your criticism,” Nate shook his head slowly as he tried his best to let his anger melt away. He didn’t want to snap at Kalli for some reason. He didn’t need or want her to see him as a monster. He was almost afraid for her to see her in the same light as Maddy did. Here, he wasn’t abusive and he wasn’t an asshole. Here he could be everything he needed and craved to be. “I didn’t ask to have some bullshit disorder put on me either. I’m boring and I’m normal. I am dealing with normal teenage bullshit. That’s all.”

She trailed her fingers through her hair and nodded slowly as she picked up the marker again. Her mood was already over the whole conversation. “Well, I’m sorry. It wasn’t my place to give you my diagnosis. It won’t happen again, alright? From now on, I’ll just stay to myself and you to yourself.” She stood up and grabbed the book. “If you’ll excuse me, I have some connect the dot games to do really fucking badly, alone.”

Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Nate was so hung up on it that he found himself in the reading room, a book open up to the exact disorder Kalli had placed on him. Even if it were for fun and games. He could not for the life of him wrap his mind around it all. He fit the bill but he wasn’t going to admit it. He wanted it to come from a professional and he hoped that it would be done before he left rehab. It would explain and excuse his behavior, he couldn’t help it, it was out of his control. The way he treated people was due to a disorder and not an actual and conscious choice by himself.

If that were the case, then why could he distinguish good and bad behavior when it came to dealing with Kalli? Why was it that he actually felt bad when her mood shifted and her face fell earlier. It almost pained him to see the way she retreated away from him. She was his only ally in the entire place and he had been a dick and scared her away.

“Let’s go into my office and talk for a little bit,” The tall brunette smiled brightly down at Nate. “Are you up for that?”

Nate stood up and was still taller than the woman despite her being tall. “Sure, I guess I don’t really have a choice in the matter though.”

She gave him a nod. “You do have a choice but it will add more time to your stay here. I don’t think that you really want that though.” She walked into the office, letting him pass her before shutting the door. “I saw that you were reading through a few of the books we have out for you guys. Have you read anything interesting?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” He shrugged. “Kalli, you have to know her. She says that she thinks I’m suffering from something called Narcissistic Personality Disorder.” He shook his head slowly as he set the book on her desk. “I can’t say that I agree but I can’t say that I disagree with it either. I have no idea what’s wrong with me.”

“It’s not a matter of there being something wrong or not wrong with you. It’s about figuring out what’s going on in that head of yours that leads you to make the choices that you do. It’s about figuring out how we can channel that anger of yours into something entirely different. You need to figure out what sets you off and what you can do to redirect the negative into something positive. How’d you handle Kalli saying that to you? I know the girl is very blunt and very unapologetic in her words.” She smiled at him before looking briefly down at her notepad. “Did you get angry? Did you brush it off? How’d you react to it.”

Nate rested his hands on his thighs before he leaned forward slightly. “I got angry and I think she could tell, she apologized and took off. She’s been avoiding me since then.” He studied her face briefly, taking in the crookedness of her nose. Another thing to add to his list of turn offs. “I didn't mean to scare her, I was trying to stay calm but I guess she saw it or sensed it. I don’t fucking know. I never really cared about scaring someone off until now. There’s something about her, I can’t fucking describe it or figured it out. I just know there’s something.”

The woman chuckled softly as she dropped her pen on her notepad before folding her hands. “It’s okay to not want to scare someone, it’s okay to be aware of our emotions and how they affect not only ourselves but others around us. I feel like that is something you haven’t really thought about before now. So, that’s a little assignment for you. What is changing now? Or rather what qualities does Kalli have that makes you want to be careful with how you handle her?”

“I have no idea what qualities are in her that make me want to be careful with her, I just know I don’t want her to hate me.” He relaxed into the chair. “That’s all, that’s all I want out of this.”

Chapter Text

Day 6

Kalli had managed to land her hands on a few packs of a pink lemonade Kool-Aid, the result? Her hair was now a pastel shade of pink. Not her usual vibrant pink but beggars couldn’t be choosers and she was locked away in rehab for a few more days. She just needed a pick me up and the hair came in clutch. She was nearly back to her old self. Her outside world self. She also had managed to spend an entire day successfully avoiding all contact with Nate Jacobs.

She knew he was trying to catch her attention but she had all of the power. She didn’t need him, he needed her. For some reason he seemed like he was trying to earn her admiration and approval. She almost felt bad for him. Almost.She walked out of her room, adjusting her leggings again. The downside to rehab, the food isn’t anything she would jump through hoops for but she nibbled and as a result she was now smaller than she had been when she checked back in a week ago. “Frances.”

“Kallisto,” The woman smiled at the teen. “I see you found a way to dye your hair. Subtle but a change. I myself have never gone pink.”

“It’s a security blanket,” Kalli shrugged as she trailed her fingers through her wavy tresses. “Pink is just a color that makes me feel the happiest and safest. I cannot say why but it just does. Today is a good day, right?”

“It’s an amazing day,” Frances nodded eagerly. “Love the attitude as well Kalli, it suits you, it really does. I will see you at group later.”

“Of course,” She smirked as she sauntered away, walking into the rec room and taking a seat at her usual table. She was in rare form today. All she wanted to do was socialize and make friends. She knew it might be the medicine kicking in but at the same time, she was hoping it was her, growing and adjusting to her new truth. She was bipolar and there was nothing she could do in the world to change it, she had to embrace it and get it under control. “It’s a beautiful day to have a beautiful day.”

“You cannot ignore me forever,” Nate dropped down next to Kalli and trailed his fingers through her hair. “So, pink hair?”

Kalli looked at him and offered up a friendly smile before she gave a nod. “I could’ve but I’m in such a good mood today that I figured one day of the silent treatment was probably enough for you. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings or anything along those lines.” She shrugged as she grabbed a magazine from the table. “But yes, pink hair. Love it. Don’t you?”

He shrugged lazily as he dropped his hand. “I don’t know, I don’t hate it.” Which was absolutely a fact. He didn’t hate her hair but he didn’t know if he loved it either. It wasn’t something that turned him off but it was something that reminded him of Jules. A person he wanted to forget about. “It looks good on you though Kalli.”

“Thanks Nate Jacobs.” She let out a satisfied sigh as she began flipping through the magazine. “I’m half way there and you’re not far behind. We can make it the rest of the time. You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to talk to me. I didn’t mean to upset you the other day and the silent treatment was me letting you cool down.”

“I wanted to apologize,” He looked at her carefully. “I wanted to say I didn’t mean to get upset at you voicing your opinion. I’m still getting used to hearing all of the bad things about myself, so it is slightly triggering in certain instances.”

Kalli met his gaze before she shrugged. “Listen, I didn’t want it to be a negative experience, it was just supposed to be hey, I diagnose you, you diagnose me. We laugh and bullshit back and forth. You don’t seem like you ever do anything like that, I was trying to push you out of your box because you’re so boxed in. It’s like you're from some small suburban town and the entire town worships you. Everyone needs a person who will check them on their shit from time to time.”

He shook his head as he took the magazine and sat on it. “It wasn’t a negative experience, alright?” He eyed her again. “It was just weird to hear someone say I have some type of disorder when this entire time I was just battling anger issues.” He shrugged slightly. “I’m not used to this, two sided communication and a girl telling me her opinions about me when it’s not happening during an argument or a bad breakup.”

“Well, you probably scare everyone and people don’t like to anger tall people.” She chuckled. “Listen Nate, we are total strangers to each other but for some reason we were drawn to the other and it’s only a matter of time until we end up not talking at all because you’re going to go back to being the all mighty alpha male football player and I’m going to be the weird girl with the pink hair. You won’t think of me one time once you're out of here. I’ll be some distant memory to you.”

“That’s not true, I don’t think I could forget this mini vacation or you.” He admitted. He was going to try to be more open and truthful. He wanted her to see him for all of his redeeming qualities and for her to forget all the bad ones. He needed her to like him, to want to be his friend. He needed her and he wanted her to be his friend. He wanted them to come out of this place and be friends or at least attempt it. To see if they were just becoming friends out of the situation they were in or if they were going to be able to be friends beyond this. “It’s been eye opening, I’m learning a lot. I’m working the program so I can get something out of it before I leave.”

“Good,” She nodded slowly before standing up. “Now, if you’ll excuse me Nate Jacobs, I see some glitter that’s just screaming to be put on my body.” She laughed. “I will see you around.” She squeezed his shoulder. “Love glitter so much, bury me in it when I die.”

Finds the good in the dark. That had to be on the list, the list of qualities that made Nate regret upsetting Kalli. It was among so many other qualities that he had taken mental note of. There were superficial qualities but they were outnumbered by other qualities. He liked the way she smiled but he loved the way she talked to him. He liked the way her nose wrinkled up when she was deep and thought but loved the way she asked him questions. She was just insanely genuine with every encounter they had. He was six days into this program and he felt as if he had known Kalli longer than he had known Maddy. “Fuck.”

Chapter Text

Day 7

Half way through his two week stay and Nate Jacobs found himself itching to work out, itching to busy his hands and mostly itching to get off. He needed a release and if he couldn’t work out and he couldn’t throw a few footballs across a field, then he needed to get off but there was one slight problem. He didn’t masturbate, hadn’t in years. He was past it, it never felt good to him. What he wanted was to bury himself in a certain pink haired tease.

That’s what Kalli was. She was a fucking tease this today. From the time she stepped into the quad for morning stretches. She was teasing him. The way she moved and he could see every curve she had to offer. He knew she was complaining about losing weight but to him, she was absolutely perfect. “Kalli.”

“Nate,” Kalli looked up at the young man and smiled. “What’s up? You come to make fun of my stretching some more? Not all of us are division one athletes.” She laughed and shook her head. Morning stretches had been terrible, from her lack of flexibility to her balance issues. She was a whole mess but she couldn’t very well complain about it. She was doing her best and working on her trouble areas. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Are there any completely and totally private spots here? You know, spots with doors and no prying eyes?” He sat down next to her, hoping she would understand what he was asking her. “I need a release but my roommate got our door taken and well, I was never one to get down in the shower.”

She laughed and nodded slowly. “Uh, yeah. There are a few unbothered spots that you can find release at. I guess it’s different because I’m a girl but I just do my business in bed.” She shrugged. “I was always under the impression guys could just jack off anywhere. Nate Jacobs, are you blushing right now?”

He shook his head slowly. “I tried but it’s weird to jack off with another dude in the room. It doesn’t do anything. I just need complete privacy. Would prefer a hook up with a girl but I’ll settle for alone time with my hand.”

“Okay, yeah, no.” She covered her face and shook her head frantically. “Now I’m blushing!” She peeked at him between her fingers. “So many images just went through my mind. I mean, I’m not mad at picturing you naked but I’m kind of mad that I chose right now to let that go through my mind. Knowing that you are literally going to go to a secluded spot and jack off.”

“Not right now I’m not.” He laughed. “Just forget I even mentioned it or brought it up. You’re not going to let me live this down huh?”

“Not a chance,” She stood up and stretched her arms above her head. “I hope you find your release soon. I think it’ll be good for you. Must be terrible to be sex free for an entire week.” She chuckled. “I wouldn’t know.”

“You’ve had sex here?” He irked an eyebrow at her. “With who?”

“Myself,” she laughed and shook her head. “I’ve never had sex before. So, I wouldn’t know if it were actually terrible to substain from sex after having it. Like does it mess you up? Or is it like a craving of some sort?”

“It’s a craving and it’s this need and want,” He shrugged. “It’s kind of like having a sweet tooth and nothing satisfies it but your favorite candy or dessert. You can taper off the need by doing something but the craving usually comes back. So, you're an actual virgin? You?”

Kalli nodded slowly. “Yes, I am. That is enough sharing time though. I want to do something else.” She rubbed her forehead and looked around. “I can show you the spots if you want me to. It’ll just be between the two of us.”

“So, have you finished your list of qualities?” The woman smiled at Nate as he adjusted himself in the seat. “Or do you need more time?”

Nate pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket and dropped it onto the desk. “I came up with some type of list. It was easier than I expected it to be. I also wrote some other shit down. I didn’t know what to put down really. If it needed to be just personality traits or superficial ones.” He shrugged as he watched her unfold the piece of paper and start to read over it.

“Let’s talk about this one right here,” She tapped her pen on the paper. “Not pretty enough to justify her attitude.”

“Well, that one is about Maddy, my ex.” He shrugged. “I found myself comparing her and Kalli the entire time that I was making this list. It was as if I was comparing my old life with my new life.” He shook his head as he rubbed his forehead. He was entirely twisted up and confused about everything he was feeling over the last week. “Maddy would piss me off, it would be us going back and forth until we broke up. When Kalli pisses me off, I want to talk it out, work it out, make her see me in a new light. Does that make any fucking sense? I want her to like me.”

“I see all of these traits and qualities written down, I see that you put in the work to figure this all out but tell me Nate, what will you do on Kalli’s last day?” She set the piece of paper down. “Will it be you just saying goodbye or leaving it at that? Will it be you trying to keep a friendship going outside of this place?”

“I want to be friends with her,” He rested his hands on her desk. “It’s insane, she doesn’t fit in with anything that I have ever wanted or thought that I wanted. I’ve gone through life making a mental list of what I like and don’t like in women. She doesn’t fit in but I don’t mind it. At least I don’t think she’ll fit in once we’re outside of this place and she can be her real self.”

“Why do you have a list of traits for women?” She looked at him carefully. “Is it just something that happened or is it due to personal experience?”

“Personal experience I guess.” He shrugged, he had no idea why he was programmed the way he was. Why he expected women to be delicate and obedient. He just knew that they should absolutely be feminine and petite. “I’m not sure. I just know I don’t want someone like my mom. Like at all. It’s stupid, I know.”

“Let’s say the tables were reversed, how would you feel to know that you needed to check off certain boxes in order to be attractive to a young woman?” She smiled softly. “That you could be absolutely in love with the woman but she brushes you off because you didn’t check off every box on the list. How would you feel?”

“Probably like shit if I was to be in love with her,” He looked around the room before he let his eyes find her again. “It’s just superficial shit, small noses, no body hair, has to sit like a lady and not like me, has to smell fruity and shit like that.”

“Oh, so it’s a matter of her being a girly girl,” She chuckled softly. “See, that clears a lot up but what if she’s all of that except sometimes she sits like you? Legs spread, hands on thighs, just to assert some sort of dominance. Complete write off because she didn’t check off the box?”

“Yeah,” He nodded slowly. “I guess it would be a complete write off because I wouldn’t be attracted to her anymore.”

She jotted something down before looking back up at him. “I think that we have to work through that mindset. Just because she has one flaw, doesn’t mean she’s a complete write off or that she couldn’t be someone you could have fun and grow with.”

“I don’t know, I don’t think I could ever entertain the idea.” Nate answered honestly. He couldn’t imagine himself not being with a girl who didn’t meet his criteria. He very well knew that Kalli was probably going to be missing quite a few boxes but that didn’t matter because he wanted to be friends with her. He didn’t want to date her no matter how badly he wanted to kiss her or fuck her. Those to him were two totally different things. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”

Chapter Text

Day 8

“Nate Jacobs,” Kalli wrapped her arms around the young man’s shoulders before resting her chin on his head. “So, how does it feel? You made it throw a whole week already. Almost to the finish line.” She moved around him before dropping onto the grass. “Tell me.”

Nate laughed as he watched Kalli carefully. “What perfume are you wearing?”

“I don’t know, it came in a care package.” She shrugged slightly. “I think it’s like strawberry watermelon. Why? Do you hate it? I think it smells amazing, like I was dipped in a vat of melted jolly ranchers.” She chuckled as she shook her head. “Again, tell me how you feel about being almost out of here?”

He smirked and nodded slowly. “I feel good, a little confused by all of this shit though. Hopefully it fixes itself before I leave this place.” He shrugged. “I keep getting assignments from the therapist though. I don’t think she knows what to make of me to be honest.”

“Trust me, she’s probably already diagnosed you but is making sure you can handle shit when she officially diagnoses you.” Kalli pulled up a few blades of grass before blowing them into the air. “I’ve been here a few times but this is the first time they were like yeah, this is what you have and here is how we’re going to manage it.”

“I don’t know,” He shrugged lazily before standing up. “I don’t think two weeks will be enough to figure me out. I’m a complex creature you know?” He held his hand out for her before gently pulling her to her feet. “What about you? You’re leaving before me.”

She sighed and shrugged. “I am excited to get out of this place, get into my own bed and wear my cute clothes. Eat some pizza and go to this really good steak restaurant. Oh, I’m also looking forward to getting my hair the right shade of pink! Oh and to get my phone back.” She laughed. “Also, cannot wait to touch up these roots of mine. So giving it away that I’m not a natural blonde in case people thought this color of blonde was as natural as the pink color in my hair.”

“True brunette huh?” Nate looked at her and smirked. “It’s going to be different once I get out of this place, you know? Nothing will ever be the same with me. I can’t get out of here and be the same person I came into this place as. Growth or some shit.”

“Yeah,” She nodded slowly as she looked at Nate. “Or some shit. Look, I know I leave a day ahead of you but I was hoping I could give you my number or insta. You can hit me up or not. It would be cool to get to know you outside of this place, see if things change and this was just all circumstance and doesn’t stand a real chance in the real world. I think you're pretty cool Nate Jacobs and I’d like to be friends or whatever outside of this place.”

He nodded slowly and glanced around. “We’ll see how it goes. I don’t think it’ll be different than what it is now. It’s not like you're faking your way through this place with this personality or genuine concern for me. I don’t think anyone can fake it that well.”

“You’d be surprised, again, we’re in a mental health rehab center,” She laughed. “You’ve got people with six different personalities running around here. We’ve got psychopaths and sociopaths which are the worse of the worst. They’re the ones who will lie to your face and then stab you in the back when they’re done getting what they need and want from you.” She shook her head. “I could be one and you wouldn’t even know it.”

“I could be one and you wouldn’t even know it,” He smirked and winked at her. “I got therapy, I’ll see you afterwards. Make sure you write down your information for me.”

Confusion about his sexuality was what helped fuel the anger Nate Jacobs felt on a daily basis. He couldn’t deny that fact but he wasn’t about to blame all his issues on the fact that he couldn’t definitively say he was straight nor could he say he was gay. So when the therapist had tossed out another option, one he had never even considered, he couldn’t come up with words to argue against it or for it.

Bisexual. That was just something girls labeled themselves as to feel special. To excuse them from when they bounced from guys to girls and back again. A man couldn’t be bisexual, he either likes girls or he liked guys. It was as simple as that, at least in his mind it should’ve been. He had never thought about being bisexual and it being okay for him to like both guys and girls.

To him, he liked women. Then there was Jules who used to be a boy but now she was a girl. So, that technically didn’t mean he was gay. It meant he liked women still and Jules was very much a woman. He shook his head as he flipped through Sports Illustrated. He had come out of his session more confused than what he had gone in. He had never looked at another guy and found him handsome, never felt the urge or need to be with a man so why was he questioning his sexuality so much and how could he get it to stop?

Experimenting was out of the question, he knew that much. He couldn’t willingly out himself and he definitely couldn’t be undercover like his dad. He couldn’t get away with it, even if he tried. He shook his head, looking over at Kalli who was busy chatting away with Frances, as if they were the best of friends. He was sure that Frances had an inappropriate crush on Kalli but he wasn’t for sure. He just knew that Frances looked at Kalli the way someone in love would look at their better half.

He scoffed, turning his attention to the way Kalli was rocking back and forth on her feet and wondering if she had the same level of engagement when she was talking to him. He wondered if Frances felt the tiny pang of jealousy he was currently feeling when she would see him and Kalli together. Talking and laughing. He shook his head, trying to put his focus back onto the magazine.

“Here,” Kalli passed Nate a folded piece of paper and smiled. “Decorated it and everything, glitter overload. It’s all my information, even my address. If you turn out to be a total killer, remember, bury me in glitter.” She laughed as she sat down next to him. “I think you should for sure reach out to me when you get out of here, we’ll have fun together.”

“Frances has a crush on you, by the way,” He pocketed the paper. “The way she looks at, it's like she’s very much hung up on every single word you say.”

She laughed and waved him off. “That would be so weird. She’s just very fucking friendly.” She shook her head slowly. “Nate Jacobs, it has been real but I have therapy soon, so I’ll see you around. Try not to think too hard, your face is a dead give away when you’re in your own head.”

Chapter Text

Day Nine

Nate Jacobs started the day off with a phone call from his parents. His mom was mostly silent while his dad did his best to be supportive and motivational. It was more so him trying to keep it together and knowing that was what he was going home to. Dysfunction and no communication. That’s what he had to look forward to once his stay here was up.

It almost made him want to fuck up and extend his stay but he would hate it here if it weren’t for Kalli and her presence. She always seemed to pop up at the most perfect time. He had caught a glimpse of her during his call and he perked up instantly. She was no longer sporting pink tresses, her hair was now streaked with shades of purple and blue. He didn’t know how she managed it but she did.

Her face looked different too. It was like she had gotten her hands on makeup and her usually pale face was blushed, her nose pink and her eyes wide and accentuated by neon eyeliner. She was giving him more Jules vibes but at the same time her confidence and walk screamed Maddy. It was all confusing for him.

He shook his head, he was trying not to be too much in his head. He still had therapy to sit through and that was becoming way too real for him. Way too much for him to handle. It was scary to be figuring himself all out but he was always reminded that he was young and had all the time in the world to work on himself. He didn’t agree with that but he wasn’t going to argue with the therapist. She didn’t seem like the type to put up with shit from anyone.

Five days left and he was out of here but he couldn’t be more hesitant about leaving. He sighed, watching as Frances came through the double doors, a brunette a few steps behind her. A new face he hadn’t seen. She looked like she was scared but who wouldn’t be when you were thrown into a program like this? Hell he was afraid until he wasn’t anymore.

“Fresh face Friday,” Kalli creeped up behind Nate and smirked. “The days melt together in here but we usually get someone new on a Friday. I heard the intake nurse talking, apparently the new girl tried to off herself and was found by her grandma.” She shrugged. “But who knows?”

He glanced down at Kalli and nodded slowly before looking back to Frances and the brunette. “First new person I’ve seen since I’ve been here.”

“Sometimes they’ll bring in new people while we’re sleeping. It’s usually the ones with a violent streak or the ones who need to detox and sleep it off for a few days. Then one day at a group or during our morning stretches there will be a new face.” She shrugged. “When you showed up, everyone took notice because the way you looked and because your yelling literally distracted us from a session.”

Nate dropped his head slightly before letting out a slight chuckle. He remembered his first day here all too well. The shock, the betrayal, the shot to calm him down. It had been a day full of anger and hatred. His parents weren’t supposed to lock him away like this. They were supposed to use their status and throw money at his problems. They were supposed to keep him safe and not toss him into this type of situation. No matter how much he needed to be here. “I have a girlfriend, or had a girlfriend. It’s one of the reasons that landed me here.”

“You stalk her or something?” Kalli looked at him and smirked. “Or, did your anger get the best of you and this was your way of avoiding a domestic battery charge?” She shook her head slightly. “You don’t have to actually tell me if you don’t want to but I think you’d be the type to put your hands on your girl and feel some remorse afterwards.”

He nodded slowly. “I hurt her and it all blew up in our faces. We tried so hard to work it out, to make it work but she ended shit with me. That’s when I really blew up.” He shook his head slightly. “The anger issue is why I’m here but it also opened up a whole new can of worms that I was not ready for. I think I’ll still have to do some therapy outside of this place. What about you?”

She shrugged as she trailed her nails down his arm lazily. “I will have a whole lifetime of therapy. It’s not something as simple as an anger management problem. This is bigger, it’s a hey you’ve got a fucked up brain so here’s some medicine to balance all of this shit out. I’ll have highs and I’ll have lows. At some point the medicine won’t work anymore, so I’ll have a manic episode until we can get a new medicine that’ll help. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m bipolar and will always be bipolar. Oh but I did realize that I have to work on my coping mechanisms. I have to learn other ways to deal with parental issues, like lots of talking and asking for space until I calm down. Same with the sibling thing.” She smiled. “It’s a whole lot of changing and adapting ahead for me.”

“Adapt and overcome.” He mumbled as he rubbed his hands together. It was something that he had done over and over again when it came to football but never did in his personal life. He didn’t even know what his back up plan would be if football fell through. He just banked on getting by because he was just a natural at it. He didn’t need to work as hard as McKay but he would show up to every practice and put in just as much effort as his teammates did. “Sometimes change is inevitable.”

“Kallisto,” Frances walked into the recreation room and smiled at the teen. “What are you doing here? It’s late. You should be in bed.”

Kalli didn’t bother glancing up from her journal, she was having a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. Which tended to happen when she got closer and closer to her last day. It was anxiety rearing its ugly head. She shook her head. “I couldn’t stay asleep. Came in here to write so I wouldn’t wake up my roommate.” She shrugged as she closed her journal. “I’m nervous about going home and the medicine and the stigma of now officially being diagnosed. Does that make me crazy?”

“No, it doesn’t make you crazy. It makes you aware of what you’re going through. It’s not abnormal to worry about it. I think it’s a bit silly to care about what other people think of you. I do think you’ll relapse if you take their words to heart.” Frances sighed as she sat down. “Kalli, you are more than your diagnosis, you have so much going for you and so much to offer. Do not get caught up with what others have to say. Their opinions of you are none of your business. Keep your head up and keep doing you, reach out at any point if you feel a change, like your medicine isn’t working anymore. We’ll all be there to help you.”

“I just want to feel some type of normalcy, even for a little bit.” She laughed. “It’s weird I know but what is life if you're absolutely just normal? You’ve got a normal functioning mind, what is that like?” She shook her head before standing up. “I’m going to lay down, see if I can get another hour two in. I’ll see you later Frances.”

Chapter Text

Day Ten

“I don’t know what I am,” Nate looked at the therapist and shrugged. “I don’t know what I am past the angry football player. I have no idea what I’ll do past high school. I know I don’t want to end up like my dad. I don’t want to be stuck in this town for the rest of my life. I want something bigger and better than this place. I don’t want to be boxed in and marry some doormat and have kids out of obligation because that’s what people expect out of me. I want to explore and see my options.”

She nodded slowly and smiled softly at the young man. “There is nothing wrong with wanting to explore your options before you box yourself in. What about a gap year before college?”

“I’m not sure, I don’t think I should take a year off before I go to school. If I get picked up by a school for football, I’ll have to start straight away.” He fiddled with the hem of his shirt before he looked up at her. “I don’t know though, I may not even get selected for a school for football. I am just lost on everything. I spent the last nearly six years being an athlete and not putting thought into anything else. It’s how it’s meant to be.”

“What do you want for yourself?” She irked her eyebrow at him. “We can work through this, how you perceive and see yourself.”

He shrugged. “I have no idea. I am the Golden Boy, I’m supposed to do what is expected of me and just coast through life. I’ll have the career, the wife, the kids, settle into a suburban town. I don’t want that but I don’t know what I want outside of that. I have to figure it out though. Like other people they have some idea but I don’t at all. I don’t know what else I’m good at outside of football.”

“You have amazing grades, I’ve seen your report cards.” She nodded slowly. “You should take some time to go through some catalogs and see if any programs pique your interest. Maybe there’s something else that you’re great at but you just haven’t opened your mind to it. I’ve helped many guys discover that they’re not just an athlete, that they can be more than that, that they are more than that.”

“Do you have any experience turning monsters into humans?” He sighed as he dragged his hands down his face. “I know that I’m a monster, I don’t want to be one though.”

“You’re not a monster, you’ve got an anger issue and I think you can fix it.” She smiled at him. “I’ve seen cases worse than yours. I think you’re in the state of confusion and you need a little help sorting it all out. I don’t think you have any outlet to allow yourself time to get better and to improve. I think you’re in an abusive situation and your mom doesn’t do anything but turn a blind eye to it. I think you see yourself becoming your dad and you’re hating yourself for it.” She shook her head slowly before handing him a notebook. “Use it or don’t but you have to find some type of outlet to express yourself or you’re going to end up hurting someone really badly or even hurting yourself.”

“I cannot deal today,” Kalli huffed as she sat down next to Nate and rested her head on his shoulder. “Frances is everywhere I turn and I think you’re right, she might have a crush on me.” She squeezed his arm and smiled. “Look at you, you’ve graduated to a journal. It’s been a huge game changer for me.”

“I have no idea what I need to do but I’ve just let the words flow,” Nate spoke softly as he looked down at Kaili. “Told you.”

“I was thinking about something, well I was thinking about you during therapy today. I told her about our friendship and how I’m not sure if it’ll be a thing after we’re both out of here. She just told me that if it’s meant to be then it’ll happen.” She shrugged. “I hate when people say that shit.”

He nodded slowly as he let his gaze drift. So, she was thinking about him but not as much as he had been thinking of her. “I guess she’s right, if it’s supposed to happen then it will.”

“Blah,” she laughed as she shook her head. “I believe in making your own destiny and not waiting for shit. I suppose if you don’t want to talk to me outside of here, then I’ll just simply find you and make you say it to this adorable face of mine.”

“Something tells me that you’re very serious about that,” He shook his head. “I don’t think you should go out of your way to find me. The Nate who exists outside of here, is a monster. I don’t think you want to be friends with a monster. It wouldn’t be good for you Kalli.”

“You’re not going to change?” Kalli fixed her eyes on him and smiled softly. “You’re going to open up for two weeks and then close completely back up?” She furrowed her brow. “Kind of counterproductive, don’t you think? It would be like practicing a play and never using it during a game.”

Nate nodded slowly, trying to come up with a valid and solid reason for not putting his changes and discoveries into play. He just had the usual, if he was anything other than the Nate Jacobs everyone expected, he wouldn’t be accepted. “It’s everyone else, if I change, it wouldn’t be accepted. I wouldn’t be accepted.”

She shrugged as she squeezed his arm. “Listen, I only know you for who you are in here and it’s been about ten days now and I think you’re a solid guy. You have to keep working on yourself, at the end of the day, you have to be happy with yourself. No amount of admiration from others will make you love and accept yourself. Trust me, I know it.”

“Trust me, you have no idea how life is for me out there,” he shook his head. “You want to know how fucked up I am? Like really know?”

She bit her lip softly before giving a nod. She was curious about what he was going to admit to. What insidious things he had done or even thought about doing. “I’m all ears.”

He grabbed her face gently and smirked. “The moment I laid my eyes on you, I tried to figure out how I could use you to piss off my ex girlfriend Maddy. Figured you would be just the one to use to get back at her. Petite, gorgeous and an attitude for days. From the moment I saw you, I had plans to use you.”

“And now?” She wrapped her hands around his wrist. “What about now? Still want to use me to get back at her? Or did you start to change enough that you knew it was a fucked up plan to befriend someone and then use them? What was going to happen if you succeeded? Were you going to toss me out like trash and never talk to me again?” She pushed his hands away from her face and shook her head. “That’s not being a monster Nate, that’s just you being an absolute asshole. I already knew you were going to attempt to use me but I figured that faded over the last couple of days because you’ve been opening up to me and being vulnerable with me.”

Nate eyed her carefully, trying to read if she were pissed off or scared. He had owned his truth and there was no going back now. “I probably was but I want to actually be friends with you now. Shit has changed and I have no idea why but I’m drawn to you and I want you around.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “What’s changed? Why all of a sudden do you have a slither of humanity?”

“Why do you make me feel shit that I’ve never felt before?” He shook his head. “I don’t know, it changed and I can’t be mean to you…”

Kalli nodded her head slowly, examining the young man’s face carefully. Trying to detect any sign of lying or something. She couldn’t read his expression but she was sure that the only she could do at this point was take his word and hope for the best. He may have owned up to being a monster but he had no idea of what she was capable of. “I believe you.” She grabbed his hands. “Don’t make me regret it.”

Chapter Text

Day Eleven

Breakthrough. Or at least that is what Nate thought he was having. He was feeling different, he wasn’t feeling the same as he did when he first arrived here. He didn’t feel angry but he didn’t necessarily feel happy either. Not that he knew what it felt like to be genuinely happy but he did have something to be happy about, he was three days away from completing treatment and he seemed to have actually made a friend out of Kalli.

He aimlessly doodled in his journal, his mind trying its hardest to focus on putting his thoughts to paper. He hated writing out his thoughts, they scared him enough as is. He had to live with them and he had to deal with them, he did not know why anyone else would willingly read them. They would surely realize he was just a monster. “Fuck this.”

“Yeah, fuck that journal.” Kalli eased herself onto the picnic table before leaning back onto her elbows. “Two more days and I’m a free bitch baby or whatever Gaga said in that one song.” She chuckled, her glossy lips catching the sunlight before she tilted her head to look at Nate. “The journal helps though, you can just dump the contents of your brain in that thing and feel a bit lighter, a little more sane.”

“Three more days for me.” He shrugged as he tapped the pen on her hand gently. “I don’t want to say this outloud but I think this place has helped me. Please do not tell Frances I said that, she would never let me live it down if she knew that.”

She leaned in closer to him. “She probably already knows, she tends to pick up on everything and anything. It’s cool and irritating at the same time. Like yes, I’m sad but no I don’t need you to comfort me about it, let me wallow alone until I’m ready to speak about it or I just simply get over it.”

He flashed her a smile before closing the journal. “You know, I hope we can be friends after we both get out of here. I’m not sure if there’s rules against two mentally unstable people being friends but I hope to see you outside of this place, so I can see the real you, I just know these are subdued outfits for you.”

“You’d be correct,” She flicked his nose and smirked. “No, no, no, don’t you absolutely know that the best friendships are formed between to mentally unstable people? Your crazy isn’t the same as mine but it’s probably compatible. Which could mean hell for anyone who tries to come between us being friends. They wouldn’t know what hit them, a monster and a psychopath?”

“Sounds like a match made in hell,” He smirked back at her. “We’ll meet up, the day that I’m out okay? Just hangout and feel normal together. There’s this park close to my house, we can meet there.”

She lazily nodded her head before grinning. “I am up for it. I don’t think we’ll technically feel normal since we’re not programmed to be normal but we can be as open as we feel comfortable with outside of this place. Who knows? You may see me out there and want nothing to do with me. I may see you out there and realize you’re way more of a cookie cutter jock than I expected and I decide I don’t want to deal with you. Things can change up, sometimes what works in here won’t work out there. You get it?”

“I do get it.” He started to click his pen as he eyed her carefully. “I hope it doesn’t turn out to be that way.”

She sat up before resting her head against his. “Nate Jacobs, I hope you’re ready for a fucking train wreck then.” She laughed before sliding off of the table. “I’m an absolute mess but I’m cute as hell.”

“Frances,” Nate caught up to the red head and grinned down at her. “Have you seen Kalli?”

Frances nodded slowly. “She’s in the cafeteria grabbing her dinner, she missed it because of family therapy running over.”

He nodded slowly. “I don’t have to do therapy with all of my family right?” He furrowed his brow, the last thing he needed was all of his fucked up family members in one place. They’d all end up being admitted into the program. “With both my parents and brothers, right?”

She shrugged lazily. “It’ll all depend on if your doctor thinks that will be helpful or not to your program. Everyone is different, not sure how much Kalli has told you but the doctor found this helpful for her program this time around, last time she got to skip out on it and she landed back in here with the same problem, maybe this time around arming her and her parents with tools to deal and manage any issues that pop up will be what keeps her from coming back here. I love Kalli to death but I hope to never see her in here again. You either, so use what you’re given and stay out of here.”

“Thanks,” He moved around her and towards the cafeteria, easily spotting Kalli sitting at a table. “Kallisto!”

“Nathaniel? Nathan? Nate!” Kalli glanced up and smiled. “What’s up? Did you have the pleasure of missing dinner too?”

He shook his head as he sat down. “No but I can say that you’re not missing too much, the chicken was dry tonight.”

She chuckled and shrugged. “I mean, it’s not too dry when you put barbecue sauce on it. At least the biscuits were good. I’m not sure where the usual cook is but I miss him, he used to make the best enchiladas and his rice was amazing.” She sighed as she rested her face on the cool metal surface. “My parents and my step parents want me to continue the program once I’m out of here, outpatient treatment or whatever, twice a week. If I don’t agree then they’ll force it on me and if I mess up, then they want me to come here for a longer stay, like six months and not just two weeks.”

“That’s really rough, I’m sorry.” He reached out and squeezed her hand. “Just do what you have to until you’re eighteen then you’ll be good right?”

“I should be good, yeah,” She blinked at him before smiling. “Look at you caring and shit.” She lifted her head up before blowing the young man a kiss. “Not so much of a monster right now are you?”

He shook his head as he leaned in closer to her. “Don’t make it a big deal, I care. Nothing to brag about.”

“Nate Jacobs,” She cupped his face in her hands before resting her forehead against his. “I can’t wait to find out if this is the real you.” She leaned back and smiled. “I’m excited.”

Chapter Text

Day Twelve

Nate reached forward, grabbing Kalli’s ponytail and pulling softly on it, laughing as she whipped around, both hands balled into fists as she swung on him before realization set in and she rolled her eyes before dropping her arms to her sides. “Whoa, whoa. Easy killer.”

“Don’t do that,” Kalli tightened her ponytail before smiling. “I thought I was going to have to fight and get another two weeks added to my stay.” She shook her head as she stopped walking. “There’s taquitos in the cafeteria today.”

He grabbed her arm gently, pulling her into the shadows of the hall. “I had a dream about you last night, about us.” He smiled down at her briefly before looking around. “We got in a lot of trouble together, it was fucking amazing. We were like Bonnie and Clyde without the dying part, or I woke up before it got that far, I just know we were both laughing, smiling, enjoying ourselves, no black clouds above our heads. None of this, no shitty and dysfunctional families. What if we could make that a reality? You and me, escaping our shitty families and making a life for ourselves? We could go anywhere, I have money.”

“You want to run away from suburbia and just try to land on our feet?” She fiddled with the hem of her shirt before giving him a single nod. “I’m up for it, I have nothing really to stick around home for, if I can stay up with my meds, then I should be fine.”

“Yeah,” he cupped her face and smiled. “We’ll meet up when I’m out of here and just leave. No one will give a fuck, they won’t care that we disappeared.” He shook his head before resting his forehead against hers. “I don’t need college, I’ll be a washed up jock by the time I graduate with a degree in business because it was the easiest to cheat my way through.”

“Jesus,” She chuckled. “You're really into this huh? You’ve thought out every single possibility that’ll happen? What about graduating high school? Should we at least attempt that?”

He shook his head. “We’re pretty and privileged, if we can’t get through life on those two things alone, then we don’t really deserve to get through life honestly.”

Kalli chewed softly on her lower lip, trying her hardest to find a single reason why she shouldn’t go on the adventure of a lifetime. She had no reason to stick around and had no reason to finish high school, she pretty much wanted to be an artist and she didn’t need school for that when she had the talent. “I’m ignoring that statement but yeah, I’m down for it. You don’t have to sell me on it Nate, we’re going to do it, we have to do it now.”

“Good,” He kissed her softly before pulling back to stare at her. “I’m sorry, I just really wanted that.”

She rolled her eyes before pushing him backwards playfully. “Whatever, let’s get to the cafeteria, I want the taquitos and we can talk more about this plan of yours. By the way, I think you might be experiencing a manic episode— I would know.”

He shook his head. “It’s not any type of episode, I just want to take control of my life, make it what I want it to be.” He smirked. “You should desire that feeling too, you should want to make it what you want it to be.”

Kalli shrugged lazily before fiddling with her hair. “I plan on making it what I want it to be. I already said I was down to run off with you.” She laughed. “I am the troubled child anyway, they already expect the worst of me.”

“I’m the all star athlete, everyone probably thinks I’ll peak in college and run the business with my dad.” He laughed as he looked past Kalli. “I guess I need to figure out what the fuck I’m meant to do because I cannot end up like him.”

“Yeah, but I think you forgot, I had already agreed to run away with you on like your second day here. I told you I had to finish this program or I would land in jail.” She laughed. “Let’s eat, we can plan more once we’re on the outside, there are always listening ears around here.”

It was two in the morning when the alarms sounded, startling Nate awake. His eyes tried to adjust to the darkness of his room before he flinched at the sound of a high pitched scream. He jumped out of bed, not bothering to grab shoes or a shirt. He entered the hallway, seeing Frances and Kalli at one end while a group of security officers along with the nurses stood at the other end. “What happened? Hey, hey, what happened?”

Frances looked towards Nate. “Kalli just happened upon a very upsetting situation.” She pulled the young woman into a hug and rubbed her back slowly. “They’re taking care of it.”

“Who screamed? Was it you Kalli?” He trailed his fingers through his hair with frustration. “Just say something, please?”

“It wasn’t me, when I pulled the alarm some other girl came rushing out and she screamed.” She looked at Nate and shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about it though, okay? I'd rather just forget what I saw.”

“Come on Kalli,” Frances sighed. “Let’s go to my office, you can relax there and we can call your parents and let them know what’s going on and see how they would want to proceed with your stay here.”

Nate furrowed his brow. “Do you want me to go with you Kalli?”

“Yes,” She looked at him and held out her hand. “Can he please come with us, Frances?”

She nodded slowly as she looked at the pair of teens. “Yes, he can come along. Let’s go, I’ll put on some coffee for us and we can try our best to decompress.”

Nate laced his fingers through Kalli’s and squeezed it gently. He had no idea what he was currently feeling and he wasn’t sure if he had ever felt it before but he knew it felt good and he knew he didn’t want it to end. “It’ll all be okay, I promise. Alright, I promise. I'll never let anything bad happen to you, ever Kalli. I'll protect you from everything.”

Chapter Text

Checkout day. Kalli was jittery but excited. She hoped that she would get a text or a call from Nate when he was finally out the following day. She had made it through another program and it was more therapeutic and eye-opening this time around. This time, she had found out more about herself and how she developed relationships with those around her. This two-week stint was what she needed, she felt good about stepping back out into the world and taking on her family issues headfirst.

She rested against the way, letting the feeling of the bricks sink into her delicate skin before she looked around. Spotting Nate slinking towards her. She smiled softly before her face dropped, Frances was right behind him, hidden behind his giant frame. “Nate, Frances.”

“Kalli,” Frances smiled. “Congratulations on completing another stay here, I think this may be the last time I’m seeing you. I think you’ve grown the last two weeks.”

“I feel like I’ve grown but I still can’t wait to take a shower in my bathroom, sleep in my own bed, get my hair color correct, I just can’t wait to look like my usual self.” She smiled. “I can’t wait to see friends and actually go to school.”

“I’m excited for you Kalli, I really hope that you take the tools you were given and really put them to use. You can be so successful if you don’t let people get to you. I know that’s easier said than done but you can do it.” She grinned. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Kalli hugged the woman and smiled. “I’m proud of me too, for once. I’m really proud of myself.”

Nate looked at Kalli before watching Frances move down the hall. “I guess this our see you later moment,” He rubbed the back of his head and smiled. “I guess I’ll miss having you around for the next twelve hours or so before I check out.”

She laughed as she squeezed his forearms. “I’m a text or a call away since we’re cool or whatever. Both fucked up but also trying to make it work.” She shook her head slowly. “I am excited to be out and just put on my favorite clothes and fix my hair, man, I really miss my hair dye and my bed. I also miss Mr. Chang, he works at my favorite sushi place, he always gives me an extra handroll when I order takeout.”

“I’ll make use of your number,” He nodded slowly. “Yeah, you miss your bed and hair dye and Mr. Chang. What about friends and family? Do you feel like you miss them?”

“I guess I kind of miss, my family, friends too. I don’t have that many of those.” Kalli shrugged lazily. “Yes, I miss my bed and hair dye because they both make me feel comfortable. Mr. Chang, he’s really awesome. He’s seen me at both my highs and lows. He used to make sure I was fed when I’d go in without a dollar on me. He’s kind of like a grandpa I guess. I never really talked about it outside of therapy before. How a complete stranger became family to me.”

Nate smiled at her. “I in a small way miss my mom, I guess I miss McKay and even Jules.” He shook his head slowly. “I’m not sure, I guess I just miss my life. Where I didn’t have to really acknowledge my fucked up head or feelings. I just got to be the jock and that was it. That’s all that was expected of me, throw the football and win games.”

“That’s very depressing, just tossing a football and winning games.” She shook her head. “I hope that when you get out of here, you can reconnect with McKay and Jules, maybe you can have a relationship with your mom or something.” She shrugged. “I don’t know Nate, maybe acknowledging your feelings outside of here will be good. At least just to yourself, you don’t have to share them with anyone else.”

“It’s not depressing, it makes life easier. Knowing that you just have to be good at one thing.” Nate smirked. “I don’t know, I guess everything for the past two weeks has accumulated and settled in the back of my mind. The feelings, emotions, the discoveries about who I am, and what I have to do with that information. It’s a whole lot to process but I’m processing it. They suggested family counseling outside of here.”

Kalli raked her teeth over her bottom lip before looking back up at Nate. “I think once it’s all been processed, you’ll be happier. You’ll be a little more self-aware which can be very scary. I think you’ll do amazing things, Nate Jacobs. Besides throwing a football around and winning football games, you can’t do that shit forever. No offense but you’re not Tom Brady.” She chuckled. “So, hugs before I go and check out? I can see my parents from here.”

He pulled her into a hug and sighed. “I will see you later Kallisto. That’s a promise, alright?”

“Alright,” She hugged him back. “See you on the other side, Nate Jacobs. I can’t wait to see how Nate who throws football differs from Nate in rehab.”

“And why do I think Kalli in here and Kalli out there will be just as crazy?” Nate smirked. “See you around.”

“So, Kalli is gone.” Frances set a tray of food down in front of Nate. “You skipped out on dinner. You made it to the group and your one on one session though. It’s taquito night, you can’t miss out on the taquitos Nate.”

Nate shrugged as he looked up from his book and at Frances. “I’m not hungry, I am pretty sure that therapy sessions are pretty much required.” He flashed her a smirk. “It’s my last few hours here, I kind of just want to relax and be with myself.”

“That’s good, I’ll leave this here though, just in case you get thirsty or something.” She smiled at him. “I’m proud of you Nate, you’re not the same kid who came in here yelling and trying to fight his dad and the security staff.” She chuckled. “I didn’t think you’d stick it out or make it as far as you’ve done. I thought you would for sure leave after the first week.”

“I guess I just really needed a break from my family,” He fiddled with the juice box on the tray. “I have very much appreciated you being around for me Frances. It’s been a real delight seeing you chase around a bunch of mentally ill kids like myself. I really enjoyed it when Kalli would give you hell.” He smiled. “I know she was your favorite person.”

“Thanks,” She shook her head slowly. “Not all of you are mentally ill here, some just need some help processing their feelings.”

“That’s exactly what it means to be mentally ill,” He nodded slowly. “The inability to process your feelings and associate them with reality. We all disassociate and display our feelings in different ways. I learned a thing or two from being in here.” He shrugged his shoulders before leaning on his elbows. “This is my first and the last stay though, I don’t ever want to be in here again.”

“There’s never any shame in getting help, it’s better to get it sooner rather than later when something serious could happen.” Frances sighed. “I think you have a lot more growth to do but you’ve made progress. Which is all we ever want during these short but intensive stays.”

Nate offered up one last smile, hoping the woman would get the hint and leave him alone. He knew he wasn’t the same Nate he had been when he was dropped off here against his will but he also knew that he couldn’t go back home being the softer version of himself. He needed to be the Nate everyone expected him to be once he checked out of this place in the morning. He couldn’t be anything less than the Golden Boy. “I can agree with you, I’m not who I was when I walked in but I’m far from where I want and need to be.”

“Enjoy your book, I’ll leave you to it.” She smiled at him. “Remember, I’m a phone call away once you’re out of here. It can be strictly between us, no program or doctor involved.”

Chapter Text

Day Fourteen

Nate Jacobs had successfully completed his two-week program. He was leaving with new tools and more confusion than he had ever had in his life but at the time he was happier and felt lighter in some sense. He never knew that he was capable of tapping into the darkest parts of him in order to try to shine some light on why he was the way he was.

The past fourteen days had managed to change him but he still had to figure out if he could implement his newfound skills in his everyday life. The life that existed outside of these walls. The life that had been crafted and handed to him from his parents from the time he came into the world. It was going to be a challenge, to say the least.

He walked to the discharge station, easily spotting his mom. His dad was absent, which took a weight off of his shoulders. He had been dreading seeing the man the past day or so. He wouldn’t know what to do or say to him anymore. “Mom.”

“Nate,” Marsha smiled at her son before hugging him. “I’ve missed you.”

He awkwardly returned the hug back and nodded. “Missed you too, can we go?”

“Nate Jacobs,” Frances smiled. “It’s been lovely having you here. I wish you all of the best and remember, we’ll just be a phone call away if you need anything.”

“Thanks,” Nate offered a slight smile. “Hopefully this was my first and last stay here.”

“Remember, there is no shame in asking for help from time to time.” The woman smiled and squeezed his arm. “Later Nate.”

“She seems very nice,” Marsha smiled. “Did you learn anything here?”

Nate shrugged as he followed his mom out the front doors. “Nothing that I care to share.” He shook his head. “Please just take me home.”

Nate Jacobs sat in the park, he was waiting for a friend and all he could think about was how good it felt to be back in his own clothes and smelling like his usual self. It was comfortable and familiar, it was what he needed to feel good again. To feel almost normal.

“Nate,” Maddy looked at the young man. “When did you get home?”

He glanced up and shook his head. She was the last person he was expecting to see today. She looked just as good as always but he didn’t want to see her this early. “A few hours ago.” He mumbled as he rubbed his hands together. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m meeting up with Cassie here,” She smiled at him. Her heart thumping in her chest. He somehow looked better than he did two weeks ago and that was saying a whole lot because he always looked good. “How was vacation?”

Nate shrugged lazily as he looked past the brunette, watching as a bright blue, lifted Jeep Rubicon parked perfectly next to his truck. He kept his eyes on the Jeep before a smile crept onto his lips as a pink-haired Kalli jumped down from the driver’s side. “It was good, it was really good.”

“Nate Jacobs,” Kalli sauntered over to the young man and smirked as he acknowledged her. “Didn’t think I’d hear from you.”

“Who’s she?” Maddy eyed Kalli carefully before crossing her arms over her chest. She took in the way the girl's jeans hugged her curves and the way her crop top gave a slight view to her taut stomach, her jewelry and bag looking way too expensive. “Nate?”

“Kallisto, people call me Kalli,” Kalli smiled at Maddy. “We met on his trip.”

Nate nodded slowly, almost satisfied at the way Maddy’s face betrayed her jealousy and anger. “Kalli, this is Maddy. She and I used to date, not that it matters right now.”

Kalli nodded as she squeezed Nate’s arm. “Nice to meet you, Maddy. Those shoes are killer.” She smiled. “I have a pair but mine are black.”

Maddy rolled her eyes before looking back at Nate. “Did you fuck her?”

“No, I didn’t fuck her,” Nate scoffed, enjoying the jealousy that was written on Maddy’s face. They had always gone back and forth but she never gave way to any feelings of jealousy, she simply just used to get back at him. “It wouldn’t fucking matter if I had fucked her, we’re broken up Maddy.”

“She’s not your type, she’s low class and trashy, plus pink hair?” The brunette crossed her under her breasts, doing her best to make them look irresistible to Nate. “You don’t like girls with pink hair…”

He shrugged as he looked between the pair, both of them had their gazes locked in on him. Maddy was seething while Kalli was wearing a smirk that nearly matched his. She looked good and maybe he did like girls with colorful hair these days. “She’s a friend, I can have friends right?”
Maddy huffed as she turned slightly towards Kalli, her eyes shooting daggers at the young woman. “He’s an abusive asshole and you’re going to fall in love with him but he’s going to fuck you over. So, if I were you, I wouldn’t even bother with him.”

Kalli parted her lips to reply only to have the petite brunette storm off towards the playground. “That’s the infamous Maddy?” She chuckled softly. “She’s still in love with you, she looked like she wanted to rip my head off.”

“That is indeed the infamous Maddy,” He nodded slowly, watching as Maddy stormed off, more swing in her hips than normal. “She’s kind of dramatic.”

“She’s really pretty,” She smiled at him. “Very much the opposite of what and who I am, from the few moments she blessed us with her presence. If that’s how Maddy is, then I can’t wait for a chance encounter with Jules. Your mystery crush.”

“You, you would like Jules, she’s like you. Outgoing and colorful.” He shrugged as he felt Kalli’s hands on his forearms, her skin was soft and her nails danced lazily over his skin. “The first time I met her, she pulled a knife on me and then cut herself. It was at some crazy end-of-the-summer party. It left a lasting impression on every single person in that room that night. Anyways, I don’t have a crush on Jules.”

She shrugged as she squeezed his arms. “So, are you back to throwing the football around yet?”

“I haven’t been out long enough but my dad suggested I should start working out and training again. I can’t afford to be unconditioned. I have to land a scholarship to a division one school, maybe far away from here.” He sighed. “I can’t wait to be out of this place.”

“We’re just spending our lives trying to escape from one place to the next. Chasing happiness and acceptance.” She laughed as she rested against him. “If you escape, I’ll escape too. I’m always up for an adventure. Especially one that I have no idea where I’ll end up. My mom took a gap year, she traveled all over Europe, she fell in love, lost that love, discovered that she was really good with people and fashion, loved to eat. I want that type of adventure, one that will help me discover more about who I am.”

Nate nodded slowly, draping an arm over Kalli’s shoulders as he held her close, his eyes scanning the park, seeing another familiar face riding a bike. Her outfit making her stand out. She didn’t belong here, he didn’t know where she belonged but he was sure it wasn’t here in suburbia. “That is Jules, colorful and never just can blend in.”

Kalli followed his finger, smiling at the sight of the girl in the pastel pink dress resting her bike on the ground. “Nate Jacobs, are you trying to tell me you have a type? Pink hair and loud.” She chuckled. “She’s pretty.”
“Yeah, she is.” He nodded before resting his head on Kalli’s. “I don’t even know what my type is even more. I just know what I like and what I hate. Now, if you’re serious about an escape, I’ve got the plan laid out for us.”