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Beca can hear Chloe’s voice float down the hallway as she ascends the stairs to their shared New York apartment. She frowns when she notices Chloe’s tone as she gets closer to the door. Whoever Chloe was speaking with was obviously causing her much stress. Beca couldn’t hear another voice so she assumed Chloe was on the phone.
Beca unlocks and opens the door slowly and quietly as she can and saw that Chloe was in fact on the phone, standing by their window with her back facing Beca. It was clear that Chloe didn’t hear her come home and Beca contemplates stepping back out as to not intrude on what seemed like a very intense conversation.
“It’s not like this was spontaneous Lexie, we’ve had this planned for months!” Chloe’s voice is strained and frustrated and she keeps running her hand through her already disheveled hair. Beca stands there torn between wanting to be there for Chloe but also not wanting to eavesdrop. “They can’t handle one day without you?” Chloe continues, her voice getting a little louder. “No, it’s not going to be fine!”
Beca knows Chloe’s talking to her older sister Lexie and it was obviously about their planned trip this upcoming weekend. Chloe had been really excited about it and was already packed and ready to go. Clearly it wasn’t happening now but Beca was confused as to why Chloe was this upset. Trips like these could easily be rescheduled. She knows Chloe’s plane ticket was transferrable. She helped Chloe look for the best deals.
Beca watches as Chloe takes a deep breath in attempts to calm herself as she listens to her sister on the other end. “And they can’t get anyone else to come in?....Fine, I know, I’m sorry, I know it’s out of your hands.” Chloe sighs in resignation and leans her free hand against the window. She still hasn’t noticed Beca who was still standing at their door.
“I love you, too, bye.” Chloe hangs up and finally turns around. She jumps when she sees Beca. “Beca,” she says while holding her hand to her chest. “When did you get home?”
“Just now,” Beca assures her. “I literally just walked in, is everything okay?” Beca finally leaves her position at the door and puts her bag down on their very small kitchen table.
Chloe lets out a humorless laugh. “No, I’m having a really bad day.” She wipes at her eyes trying to clear away her frustrated tears that Beca only notices now she was facing her. It’s been a very long time she’s seen Chloe in this state and her heart aches.
“You wanna talk about it?” Beca approaches her.
“No, not really,” was Chloe’s quick response and she grabs her discarded her purse that was on the pull out sofa bed. “I’m going for a walk.”
Beca frowns as Chloe passes her and she instinctively reaches out to grab Chloe’s arm. For the first time in their entire friendship, Chloe actually pulls away. Beca drops her arm instantly.
“Beca, I just really want to be alone right now, okay?” Her voice cracks and she doesn’t look at Beca.
“Okay,” Beca says quietly and watches helplessly as Chloe exits their apartment. She stands there a few moments unsure of what just happened.
Beca hasn’t quite been on this end of their friendship. It’s not like Chloe doesn’t have a bad day or bad moods, but usually she’s open to talk about it with Beca. It’s usually Beca who shuts down when something is weighing on her mind and Chloe is the ever patient and thoughtful friend who knows when to give her space and knows Beca will come to her when was ready.
A wave of guilt passes over Beca. She never realizes just how much she takes Chloe’s patience for granted. So many times Chloe will wait for her.
In more ways than one.
They’ve been dancing around the line of friendship ever since they moved to New York. Only it felt like it was longer when Beca really thinks about it. But Beca doesn’t ever acknowledge it. She brushes of the soft touches Chloe would give her when they’re watching TV. Always putting it off as Chloe being Chloe. She ignores the lingering looks they’d give each other in the morning when they both are eating breakfast before work. Beca pretends her breath doesn’t hitch or heart skips a beat at night when Chloe eventually pulls her close to her before they fall asleep.
Beca can’t blur that line. Chloe’s friendship means the entire world to her for her to ever ruin by taking that next step. Even if her heart aches more for her everyday.
But now especially, Beca knows Chloe needs a friend more than anything.
Beca doesn’t know what quite to do to pass the time before Chloe gets back. On a normal day, they’d be making or ordering dinner and taking bets whether or not Amy would be home. Now Beca paces their small apartment tidying up a few things here and there. Three occupants in what is essentially a glorified shoebox makes for a very disorganized apartment. All their respective things are place haphazardly wherever there’s room.
Chloe still isn’t home a couple hours later and Beca starts to worry. Amy had texted them in a group text earlier that she’s spending the night at a “friend’s” house and Chloe didn’t reply to it like she usually does. Beca messages her in a separate text but she doesn’t get a reply to that either. When it’s closer to 10 o’clock, Beca calls Chloe and her stomach drops when it goes to straight to voicemail.
Beca’s mind runs with a million different scenarios and it doesn’t help she’s watched way too many episodes of Law & Order: SVU. Beca is about to leave the apartment to go search for Chloe when the lock on the door turns and Chloe walks in looking the way she did when she left: exhausted and sad.
“Hey,” Beca breathes out when Chloe closes the door behind her. “I was worried.” She doesn’t mean for her tone to be accusatory but it comes out as such.
Chloe offers her a small sad smile and pulls out her phone. “Sorry, my phone died shortly after I left.”
Beca crosses the room and without thinking, pulls Chloe into a hug. She feels Chloe tense in surprise before her body relaxes and she hugs Beca back. She buries her face into her neck and Beca squeezes tighter. She wonders if Chloe can feel her heart beating against her.
“I’m sorry you had a shitty day,” Beca mumbles and she feels Chloe laugh. Warmth spreads through entire body at the sound.
“Thanks, Beca,” Chloe says pulling back slightly. They’re still holding each other and she leans in to kiss Beca on the cheek.
Beca smiles and brushes a strand of Chloe’s hair out of her face and behind her ear. “No thanks needed. Have you eaten yet?”
“Not really. Someone at work knocked over my Tupperware in the fridge and my lunch was all over the fridge shelf,” Chloe tells her with a frown. “Just of one of the many things that went wrong today. “
Beca frowns along with her. “Wanna get take out? Or do you want some mac and cheese? We have like an insane amount of Kraft Mac n Cheese boxes.” Beca pulls away from Chloe reluctantly and opens one of their cupboards where there was at least twenty boxes of mac and cheese.
Chloe laughs at the supply. “Amy doesn’t do any grocery shopping but buys twenty boxes of mac and cheese?”
Beca shrugs and takes out one box. “Dinner for two?”
They end up watching cheesy romcoms on Netflix while they eat their mac and cheese on their sofa bed. Beca doesn’t bring up the phone conversation she overheard. She thinks of how Chloe would wait for her to talk about it if the situation were reversed.
Beca dozes off on Chloe shoulder during their second movie and Chloe nudges her so she can get ready for bed. When they’re both settled for the night and under the covers, Chloe doesn’t turn off the light like she usually does but turns on her side so she’s facing Beca.
“What’s up?” Beca asks curiously.
Chloe bites her lip like she’s nervous. “My sister cancelled our camping trip this weekend,” she begins. “That’s why I was so upset earlier.”
Beca waits for her to continue. She knows it’s more than cancelled plans that got Chloe so upset.
“You mentioned before you guys do this every year?”
Chloe nods. “Yeah, usually around this time at the end of summer right before the school year starts for most kids. It’s a tradition.” She turns to grab her phone that was charging on the side table and searches a little bit. When Chloe hands Beca her phone, it’s open to an old photo of Chloe with her dad and sister. It was obviously a picture of picture that Chloe saved. Chloe and Lexie looked virtually alike but Lexie was clearly older. Beca recalls that she’s about six or seven years older than Chloe. The picture looked like Chloe was about ten. The three of them were standing in what looked like a campground and Chloe was smiling holding up a large fish while Lexie pointed at it. Their dad was between them with a beaming proud smile. He had a kind face with the same eyes as Chloe.
Chloe told her that her dad died of cancer when she was twelve.
“That’s was one of our last camping trips together before he got sick,” Chloe whispers.
“I’m sorry,” Beca whispers back. “Is this why this cancelled trip made you so upset? It’s something you guys did with your dad every year?”
Chloe nods. “I never really told anyone this, not even to Aubrey but my mom had a really bad gambling problem when I was growing up.”
Beca doesn’t know how to respond to that. She always assumed even with the death of Chloe’s dad, Chloe grew up in a very normal household with normal loving parents.
“She’s better now,” Chloe clarifies. “But growing up, it got pretty bad. They’d try to hide it from Lexie and me but we still heard the arguments. Mom would spend all night at random poker games and use money that was meant for grocery shopping or bills to pay her debts.” Chloe’s eyes go unfocused as she talks about her past. Beca just listens with rapt attention.
“Dad constantly told us it’ll be okay and that mom was sick. He’d distract us by taking us out to ice cream or the mall but camping was my favorite thing.” Her eyes fill with tears and Beca reaches over to hold her hand. “Mom finally decided to get help for her addiction when dad was diagnosed. It was her wake up call.”
“I’m glad she got help,” Beca says.
Chloe smiles and squeezes Beca’s hand. “I honestly didn’t think I could ever go camping again after dad died. It was just too sad but mom said it’d be good for Lexie and me to continue the tradition. We wanted mom to come with us the first year after but she said it was something between us and dad and she’d feel like she’d be intruding. This would be the first year we won’t be going.”
Beca offers her a small smile. “I’m sorry Lexie cancelled.”
Chloe sighs. “Yeah and I know we can reschedule but today just sucked and having this fall apart was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. And I feel like shit for yelling at Lexie. It’s not her fault her dumb company refuses to hire new people.” She scoffs and Beca can’t help but find it adorable.
“Well, I’m sure she’ll understand your outburst. You tend to be dramatic,” Beca deadpans and Chloe playfully shoves at her shoulder.
“You’re the worst,” Chloe says laughing and moves closer to her Beca. “But thank you for being here and listening, I don’t know what I do without you.”
Beca forgets how to breathe with Chloe being this close. Their noses are practically touching and she can feel and smell Chloe’s minty breath on her face. “What are best friends for right?”
A strange look passes over Chloe’s face that Beca can’t quite describe but it’s gone in a second replaced with a wide and happy smile. “Goodnight, Beca,” she leans over to kiss Beca’s cheek before turning around to go to her side of the bed.
Beca’s cheek burns. She lies awake for another hour and listens to Chloe’s soft breathing.
--
A spontaneous thought hits Beca Friday morning as she’s getting ready for work. Chloe was off today for what was now her cancelled camping trip so she decided to take an extra long run in the morning. Amy was eating the breakfast she made for Chloe and but she didn’t even have the time to be annoyed by that as grabs her phone to call her boss.
“Hey, I’m sorry for the late notice, but I caught a bug the other night I’m really not feeling well.”
Amy looks at her curiously as she eats the last bite of Chloe’s waffle.
“Yeah, thanks, I’ll see you, Monday.” Beca hangs up and opens up a web browser on her phone.
“You playing hooky today?” Amy asks but Beca ignores her. “Good because I need help selling some faux fur jackets at my booth today.”
Beca has no idea what the hell is Amy even talking about as she dials a number. “Dude, seriously?”
Surprisingly it didn’t take that long of research and planning before Beca found what she needed. All she had to do was pack a weekend bag and wait for Chloe to come back from her run. Amy already left with a box of what she assumed was the faux fur jackets.
“What are you doing here?” Chloe asks in surprise when she opens the door to find Beca sitting at the kitchen table. Beca has to train her eyes not look at Chloe’s body. The sports tank she was wearing was clinging to her chest and stomach because of the sweat and Beca could practically count her abs through the material.
Beca smiles and stands up. “You should go shower and get ready, it’s an hour drive and we still have to go to the store to pick up a few things.”
Chloe tilts her head in confusion. “An hour drive where?” She glances down and just notices Beca’s packed bag. “Are we going somewhere?”
“Yes, now please, we’re working on a tight schedule, Beale!”
Chloe just shakes her head in amusement but goes to take a shower. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” She yells through the running water.
Beca rechecks her bag to make sure she has the essentials. They do still need to go the store though because she was definitely a novice in this situation she put herself in. Beca also grabs Chloe’s already packed bag and puts it by hers. “Yes, as soon as you get your ass ready.”
“So impatient!” Chloe’s laugh fills the entire apartment.
Once Chloe was dressed and ready, she pretty much guesses where they were going based on the fact that Beca had grabbed her camping bag.
“We’re going camping,” Beca says unnecessarily and waits for Chloe’s reaction. “I figured you shouldn’t waste your weekend so I called around and found a campground about an hour from here.”
Chloe smiles widely. “You planned all this while I was on a run?”
Beca laughs and shrugs. “It just hit me suddenly and I figured with the week you had, you deserve a break. And I mean I know it’s not the same thing with Lexie but like you said, you can reschedule that. Your ticket is transferrable and everything,” Beca rambles as Chloe watches her with adoration. “And I literally know nothing about camping and will probably die so you need to help me out as much as you can. We gotta get some stuff at the store because I don’t even have a sleeping bag. Do you have tent?” Beca takes a breath and realizes Chloe is standing in front of her with the most amused expression.
“Beca, calm down, we’ll get the essentials, and I promise I’ll protect you from the bears.”
“Bears?” Beca’s eyes go wide. Maybe she should’ve done more research.
Chloe laughs. “Oh my god, I’m joking. I know for a fact that all the campgrounds around here have no bears.”
Beca squints at her unconvinced. “We should get bear spray anyways.” She grabs her bag and slings it over her shoulder. “Let’s go, Beale, time’s a wasting!” She turns to exit but Chloe grabs her arm.
“Beca, wait.” Her hand moves down Beca’s arm to intertwine their fingers and she pulls her closer. Beca wonders how her heart is still in her chest. “This is one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me and I want you to know how much it means to me.” She squeezes Beca’s hand. “Thank you.”
And without thinking, Beca drops her bag (it lands on the floor with a heavy thump) and leans in to kiss Chloe. She hears a surprised whimper and the blood pumping through her entire body. Chloe’s lips are a little chapped from her shower but Beca doesn’t mind as Chloe pulls her closer and opens her mouth. She winds her fingers through Chloe’s still damp hair and tilts her head to deepen the kiss. She feels Chloe nip at her bottom lip as Beca lets out a contented sigh. When they pull apart, Beca’s eyes are dazed and her legs feel weak.
“Shit, I wasn’t supposed to do that,” Beca says without thinking.
Chloe furrows her brow and frowns. “Oh.” She starts to pull away but Beca quickly pulls her back.
“No, shit, that’s not what I meant. I meant that I wasn’t supposed to do that now.” Beca clarifies but Chloe still frowns at her. “I was supposed to do that this weekend. I had a whole thing planned. I wanted to walk under the stars and have a meal over a campfire that you cooked for us because I wouldn’t know how. And I was going to play you the new mix I just made for you and then I was going to tell you that I like you. Like a lot and-“
Chloe cuts her off by kissing her. “Bec,” Chloe says when they pull apart. “I like you, too.”
Beca grins at her. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, but we should go before we hit traffic. And we have to get you bug spray because you’re going to be eaten alive.”
Chloe grabs both their bags with ease and heads for the door.
“Are the bugs the only one going to be eating me this weekend?” Beca asks mostly joking as she locks up the apartment. Chloe is already on the bottom landing when looks back up at Beca.
“If you set up the tent correctly, maybe you’ll get lucky.” Chloe winks at her before heading outside.
Beca laughs as she follows her. This was going to be a long and amazing weekend.