Chapter Text
Lord Grantham took the news of Thomas’ suicide attempt especially hard. He had always tried to provide a workplace that was, if not pleasant (but why not pleasant?), at least fair and livable for his staff. Over the years, especially after the war, the lines between Upstairs and Downstairs blurred. His own daughter had married the chauffeur, after all, and Tom had proven himself again and again. The Great War, too, had changed things. Downton had certainly made its sacrifices for the war, both family and staff, and the losses were felt deeply by all, either way. Thomas had served honorably for king and country… as did William and Matthew. What was he fighting for, if not the English way of life? If not freedom, and the pursuit of happiness? Was Thomas any less deserving of happiness, just because he was different? Lord Grantham knew several upstanding gentlemen that were like Thomas… gentlemen whose social standing afforded them the luxury to live their lives being, if not entirely, at least more true to their own natures. And even the lowliest scullery maid had the hope of one day finding true love and marrying. Why should Thomas live his entire life in dedicated service to the Crawley family (which Robert, if he was being honest with himself, hoped Thomas would), without any hope at all of future love and happiness? There had to be something he could do.
Lord Grantham climbed into bed next to his wife. His face bore the weight of his thoughts, and Cora knew immediately that something was bothering him. “What’s on your mind tonight, Robert? You’re a million miles away.”
“This business with Barrow,” he replied. “I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Surely you’re not thinking of letting him go now, are you?” she asked, a concerned look on her face. “Please let’s just give him a chance to recover and get back on his feet. It’s the only kind thing to do.”
“That’s just it,” he replied. “I don’t want him to go. I know we’ve made a fuss about cutting back on staff, but I would also like to think that we show the same loyalty to our servants that we expect them to show to us. Barrow has been with us for most of his life. Downton is his home. I just can’t see that it’s the right thing to do to send him away now. And goodness knows that Carson will be near retirement soon, and well-deserved. I was hoping to promote Barrow to butler when the time comes.”
“Robert, I’m so glad to hear that!” Cora said, a gentle smile on her face, reaching out to place her hands on her husband’s. “I feel the same! Thomas may have been difficult in the past, but I believe that underneath it all, he’s just a man trying to make his way in the world, like all of us. I don’t want to put him out. I want to help him.”
“Cora, I don’t want to offend your delicate sensibilities, but there are things about Thomas you may not know. Things that may change how you feel about him.”
“Oh really, Robert. How naïve do you think I am? And there’s no need to tiptoe around the subject – I’m an American- we say what we think. You have met my mother, haven’t you?” Cora gave a gentle laugh. “I know that Thomas is a homosexual. I know what that entails. I didn’t grow up in a convent! Not to mention all the men in London who design my gowns and, well… let’s just say I have met a few delightful men who would have more of an eye for you more than for me. It doesn’t shock me.”
“Yes, I’ve known some too, my dear. I daresay that at Eton the boys weren’t shy about having a go at each other.”
Cora raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Really? My darling, I never knew! Did you experiment in school as well?”
Robert chuckled. “No… not really. I was kissed once. It didn’t do anything for me. But it did make me realize that such a thing isn’t all that unusual. Some of my best friends….. well… it doesn’t matter now. What matters is that Barrow is a member of this household, and under our care. I would like to see that he feels accepted and valued if I can. And somehow, I want to afford him the opportunity to find happiness, too. Do you have any ideas on how we could do that?”