Work Text:
The Distance From Me to You
Goodnight.
The black text glared back at him from a cell phone screen, it’s soft light fanning over his tired features. With a final smile, Antonio swiped the screen to put it to rest, ready to tuck himself closer into the pillows and do the same. As he reached over to place his phone on the nightstand, he couldn't ignore the uneasy feeling of having the spot next to him unoccupied. He sighed, laying a hand on the perfectly tucked side of the bed.
It had been months since anyone disheveled the sheets, or gripped the firm pillows close to their face, and it had been a long time since he had seen those familiar hazel eyes, lidded with sleep, but open enough to tell him goodnight. Fortunately, the Lovino managed to make sure to still wish him goodnight, but it still wasn't the same through text. With a sorrowful sigh, the heavy hearted man pressed his cheek against his arm, eyes focused on the empty bedside.
He hadn't expected to be kept away from Lovino for this long. It was suppose to be a business venture that should have lasted only for a month, but then May passed, then June, and July. Antonio closed his eyes and exhaled.
He just wanted to go home.
He wanted to walk through his garden and feel the warm breeze against his tan face. To feel the warm soil underneath his bare feet as the summer sun beamed over him. He wanted to smell lemongrass and tomatoes again, harvesting the ripened ones to use for dinner that night. He wanted to see his hazel eyed lover, who would break into a smile when he thought Antonio wouldn't notice. He loved hearing that sing-song voice utter curses that rolled off of those perfect lips. He missed holding his hand and telling him that he was lovely and beautiful.
He wished Lovino was here.
Finally feeling himself drift to a dream of chasing Lovino across a garden, Antonio grinned into his pillow, and slept.
Antonio yawned and smacked his lips as the meeting wrapped up, stretching his arms above his head with a successful pop. Following the line of white collared men out of the glass windowed meeting room, he fumbled around in his pocket for his cell. Swiping the screen, a picture of him and a rare smiling Italian greeted him. He tapped the messaging icon to disappointingly find no new messages.
“He must be at work.” he murmured to himself.
Finally freed from the meeting room, Antonio made his way to the elevators, flipping the phone sideways to text to Lovino.
Just got out from another boring meeting //
relieved
I’m guessing you won't see this till you're out.
I’m thinking about cooking tonight, got any suggestions?
Re-reading the message, he pressed send, and slipped through the elevator’s doors before it could close. Returning his phone into his pocket, he sent a friendly smile to the small woman standing next to him, recognizing her from his past meetings, and waited for the doors to open again to the parking garage.
The young woman smiled back, tucking a bright, red strand of hair behind her pierced ear, “It’s been a crazy week right?” Her accent sounded English, but Antonio corrected it as Scottish.
“It's always a crazy week here.” he chuckled and folded his hands in front of him, “I just want this whole deal to pass so I can go home.”
“I hear you there.” her eyes fanned over his face, and she she bit her (also red) lips, “Do you have a girlfriend back home?” Antonio gave her an odd look. She raised her hands defensively with a charming laugh, “I'm just asking! You smile a lot at your phone during the meetings and kind of guessed you were talking to a gal.”
Antonio relaxed, shoulders slumping as his beaming smile returned. For a second he thought she was suggesting something else, “Well you're kind of right.”
“So it’s a lucky lady?”
“More like boyfriend.”
“Oh!” her thick mascara lashes fluttered and she blushed, embarrassed, “I'm sorry! I just didn't take you-well you know you don’t look like the kind of lad that-”
“That are attracted to guys?” Antonio raised an amused eyebrow, “Didn't know you had too look a certain way to like them.”
“I’m sorry, I’m coming off like some buffoon.” The woman cleared her throat and tried again, “So your boyfriend, he’s waiting for you back at home?”
The elevator doors opened and they walked out together, continuing down the row of cars. Antonio’s eyes searched for his vehicle while speaking with the young woman.
“Yes…well in a sense. He lives in Italy and I live in Spain.”
“You have a long distance relationship?” her tone was unapproving.
“We live together in my home but because I’m attending business here, he is back home in Italy with his brother for company.”
“And you two will live together again when you get back?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure he’s not…you know.”
Antonio spotted his car just a few cars down from where he stopped, clenching his keys. He had no idea why he stopped; maybe because the sudden question had irked him, or maybe because he wanted to finish the conversation, but he was beginning to get upset over her question. Antonio’s brows furrowed and the woman continued.
“I’m just saying, being left alone for so long would leave me feeling rather lonely. No man to hold me, no one to tell me goodnight face to face…I couldn't stand it.” Antonio scowled, fully knowing how that felt. “I'd have needs, I'd be bored just waiting for so long...”
“What are trying to say?” he didn't know how their lighthearted conversation had turned to this.
“What I'm trying to say” She patted him on the shoulder and turned to leave, “is that you better hope your boyfriend is really waiting for you back home.”
He watched her walk away, stiletto heels clacking loudly against the concrete, until he couldn't hear or see her no more. Clenching his jaw Antonio took a couple deep breaths through his nose and tried to calm down.
What gave that woman the right to assume something like that about Lovino? She didn't even know him and she definitely didn't know about their situation. He knew Lovino wouldn't just run off with some other guy or girl behind his back, he knew Lovino better than that! Yet here he was fuming in a car garage because of some stranger's insight.
Quickly, Antonio unlocked his vehicle, yanked the handle of his car door, and slammed it shut, pulling out of his spot and putting the car in drive. From there with his white knuckled grip on the steering wheel, he drove back to his apartment.
...
The red wine swirling inside his glass was halfway finished, barely spilling over the edge as he clumsily placed it back on the white counter top. Antonio sulked, chin resting on his arm as he stared back at his phone with his previous text message. It had been three hours of aimless TV surfing, cooking a quick dinner, and sulking by himself with his best friend Tinto Aragonés*, and there still was no reply from Lovino. It was confusing as it was disturbing that he hadn’t received a text by now.
Had he said something to piss him off? Was he still at work? Did he simply forget to charge his phone? Antonio scrambled to make up reasonable excuses, but most of them didn’t click into place. Lovino had his phone on him 24/7, so it didn't make sense that he wouldn't see his text. He knew he hadn’t upset him and he shouldn't be at work this late, so there was more to wonder why Lovino hadn’t responded. Had he got himself into trouble?
Did he not want to talk to him?
Antonio froze. That couldn’t be the reason, it just couldn’t. There was no reason for him to ignore him.
God, what was he doing? Was he assuming Lovino was keeping something from him? Antonio cursed under his breath as he took another swig of his wine. That lady was getting to his head. Lovino wouldn't be hiding anything and he wouldn’t text him back unless there was a valid reason. Antonio was just acting like a big baby. The Spaniard grumbled when there was no more wine in his glass, and curtly replaced it with the bottle, traveling it back with him into his room.
Without sending a text to Lovino goodnight, Antonio drank himself to sleep.
The shrill of his cellphone is what woke him up. A thundering sound pulsed in his ears as he tried to get up, the room tilting sideways as his head hammered with a shot of pain. He groaned as he held his head and squeezed his eyes shut. Lovely, he had managed to get a hangover on a Friday. Squinting and using the wall as a support, Antonio waddled into his kitchen.
There should have been a few bells ringing in his head; like for one, he was extremely late to work, and as he swiped his almost dead phone’s screen, Lovino’s brother was calling him. Antonio tapped the answer function and pressed the phone to his ear.
“Hello?”
“Antonio! Ah It’s so nice to hear your voice! Although it’s quite scratchy…are you sick or something?” Antonio opened his mouth but the voice continued, “Or maybe you're hungover? People tend to sound like that when they are hung over.”
“Feliciano.” Antonio groaned, leaning into the counter as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “What did you call me for?”
“Oh, so you are hungover.”
“Feli-”
“I wanted to ask you something.” Antonio frowned. Felciano sounded serious and that was something to worry about. He stayed quiet and the he continued. “Has Fratello called you recently?”
“No, not since a day ago. “ Feliciano made a whining sound on the other end. “Is there something going on?”
“He hasn't been home for a day and I'm starting to get worried! He said he was going out for a bit but then I never saw him after that.” Antonio’s eyes widened and his heart raced, “I was hoping he called or texted you to tell you what he was doing but I guess he didn’t. I shouldn't have pissed him off, I mean I had every right to say what I had to say but still!”
“What? What did you say?”
Feliciano paused. “I don't think I should tell you.”
“Feliciano, what did you say to your brother.” his voice shook, bordering frustration and fear.
He sighed, “I just wanted to clear something up with him, but he took it the wrong way.” Antonio pulled out a bar chair and sat in it, resting his head in his palm. “Fratello was acting kind of down, so I suggested he'd go into town and talk with some people. Make a friend at a bar or bistro. I think he thought I meant to try and hook up with someone, but that really wasn't my intention! We got into a fight, I told him I was tired of him moping around and bossing Ludwig when he came over. There was a point in the argument where I kinda…snapped?”
“Lovino was feeling down?”
“Yes! I want to hug him when he spaces out sometimes, but he only pushes me away.”
Antonio swallowed thickly, a stale taste of dried wine churning his stomach. Lovino was depressed and alone.
"I’m just saying, being left alone for so long would leave me feeling rather lonely. No man to hold me, no one to tell me goodnight face to face…I couldn't stand it."
The woman’s words from yesterday echoed in his head and Antonio exhaled sharply. How could he be so fucking stupid? So self absorbed in his own work, in his own desires and needs, to not take in the consideration on how Lovino was feeling?
“He said he hated how Ludwig and I acted so lovey dovey, and said how Ludwig probably slept with people behind my back and-god he just wouldn't stop insulting him Antonio! I couldn't take it anymore!” Feliciano's voice broke with a sob, “I-I told him at least Ludwig loved me enough to stay, unlike you. That you were probably gone because you were sick and tired of him.”
Antonio ground his teeth, fist clenching around the cellphone with a deathly grip. Why the hell would he say that!?
“I didn't mean it, Antonio! You have to u-understand I was angry and tired, and I just wanted him to stop!” Feliciano sniffed and tried to talk through tears, “Y-you need to find him. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I said that. I didn’t m-mean to, I’m sorry!”
“It’s…fine.” Antonio tensely bit out, reminding himself that this was Feliciano. Feliciano, who like his brother, was rather rash in his decisions and was even now apologizing for it. “Do you have any idea where he might have went?”
“I already searched around the neighborhood, the town, and even asked his friends if they had seen him. I have no idea.”
“Are there any clues or things that could help me out in finding him? Please Feli, you have to think.”
“I’m sorry I-” he paused, then a second later gasped. “Wait!”
“What?”
“The key you gave him!” The sound of feet shuffling came through the speaker, along with the clinking of glass, “He keeps it in his glass jar with his other valuables! It’s not in here!”
“So he’s at my house?”
“He’s probably already over there. He took his car when he left.”
“Thanks Feli, I’ll call you when I find him.” Antonio was about to hang up when Feliciano stopped him.
“I really am sorry for all of this.” he sounded sincere, voice barely a whisper, “Maybe after you find him, we can eat together? We haven't done that in a while.”
Despite his anger from before, Antonio couldn't help but tug a small smile. It was so like him to make peace. With a warmer voice, Antonio responded, “We'll see if your brother is up for it when I see him. I'll give you a call later. Stay out of trouble.”
“Thank you, Ciao.”
“Bye.”
Hastily hanging up his phone, Antonio made a dash back into his room to get dressed. Finding a clean Grey t-shirt and some jeans discarded on the hardwood floor, Antonio sat at the edge of his bed, sheets still a disarray like the spurring thoughts in his mind.
...
It wasn't until the sun began to set did Antonio drive up his driveway. The large Spanish villa stood with a welcoming feeling of home, it’s elaborate structure remaining as it was when he left it. He jumped out of his car and ran for the door, already calling out to Lovino's name as he reached it. Unlocked, he twisted the knob and tugged the door open, stepping inside.
A chill ran up his spine as the door echoed in the silence when it shut. He was not used to entering his own home without the sounds of someone talking or doing something. He listened to his own footsteps as he slowly walked across the front room, eyes trailing up the dark wood staircase.
“Lovino?” When no response came back, Antonio moved towards the kitchen, connecting to the living room.
The flat screen was black, the couch remained untouched, and the remotes were still on the small table just as it was 3 months ago. Antonio bit his bottom lip as he stood between his kitchen and living room. Where was he? Antonio glanced out the sliding glass doors by the kitchen table, and saw him. His entire being relaxed, seeing that familiar back facing him, from between one of the rows in the tomato garden.
He’s okay.
Still watching Lovino, he noticed his shoulders were shaking, and his head was bent over his lap, palms pressed into his face. Quietly opening and closing the glass door, he made his way to the man, the sounds of his boots crunching the soil irking Lovino’s attention. He stopped behind him when Lovino peaked over his shoulder, pooling eyes traveling up to connect with his. Antonio’s breath hitched, chest tightening up as he gazed back at wide, sad eyes.
“A-Antonio.” he whispered hoarse.
Antonio dropped down to his knees, his own tears falling over as he tried to pull on a smile, “I'm here.” His arms reached out for him, pulling Lovino’s back into his chest with a long awaited embrace. Antonio pressed his face into the nape of his neck and exhaled shakily, “I’m here.”
Lovino pressed back into the hug, growing more vocal as he sobbed, “What are you doing here?”
“You weren't answering your phone.”
“You're going to get in trouble at work-!”
“Forget work.” Antonio held him tighter, “I want to forget anything that has to do with that place. I want to be here. I've always wanted to be here.”
Lovino sniffed, rubbing his eyes, “Feliciano told you where I was didn't he?”
“Yes.”
“Did that little shit tell you about what happened?”
“Yes.”
“Why are you being fucking short with me?” Lovino snapped, pushing against his boyfriend’s hold to look at him. He blinked out tears and furrowed his brows, “You're probably pissed that I caused you to miss your work, huh?” Antonio narrowed his eyes. “Well you know what? Fuck you! I've been good, I've been waiting and I've been quiet, and just- Fuck you!”
Lovino shoved at his chest and in return Antonio grabbed his wrists, “Let go of me!”
“No!” Again Lovino was forced into another bone crushing hug, “I’m not! Actually I don't think I'll ever let go! I prefer being here with you anyways.”
“What?” Lovino gasped, confused.
“I'm not mad at you" He said slowly and continued, "I actually don't give a rats ass about work, and I love you!” Antonio pulled back a bit to stare intently into his eyes, “I love you too much to make you go through this. I don't like the idea of you being alone, of you being depressed because of me.”
Lovino starred.
“I'm staying here Lovino, with you.”
That seemed to break his shock, and suddenly Antonio was being pushed back into the soil, with Lovino’s own arms wrapping around him.
“Well then welcome home asshole.”
Letting out a laugh, Antonio pressed a kiss into Lovino’s temple, “Welcome home.”
_______________________________________________________
* Tinto Aragonés is the name given to the Garnacha variety in certain areas of Castile and León. (Red Wine)