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If I was brave enough

Summary:

They were getting ready to rock paper scissor their shower order, when Mingyu felt like suggesting letting Wonwoo go first for once. Because yeah, everyone was tired but his friend looked positively exhausted.
"Wonwoo go shower first," Seungcheol said, as if reading his mind, but Wonwoo didn't move at all and they all exchanged worried glances.
"I can help him," Mingyu piped up, because if there was something he had learned over the years, that was how to take care of a certain Jeon Wonwoo when he was out of it.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Wonwoo looked really tired.

Truthfully, they all did. Mingyu didn't ignore the way his group members entered their dorm sluggishly, dragging their feet. It was one of the times he felt thankful for living in the downstairs dorm, for it took longer for the others to reach their rooms. They were also lucky because there were only six of them that need to shower and remove their make up before they pull themselves to their bed and pass out. And everyone knew that Seungcheol would go last. He always let the others sleep earlier, like a true leader.

So they were getting ready to rock paper scissor their shower order, when Mingyu felt like suggesting letting Wonwoo go first for once. Because yeah, everyone was tired but his friend looked positively exhausted. He didn't complain, he never did, but he didn't even shrug his jacket off before he fell on the couch with his head leaning back.

Mingyu was a little worried.

"Wonwoo go shower first," Seungcheol said suddenly.

Mingyu smiled at their leader with relief. It seemed Mingyu wasn't the only one watching over Wonwoo. Still, his friend didn't respond. He closed his eyes and furrowed his brows, and Mingyu got a little bit more worried.

"Wonwoo?" Seungcheol asked again, but he got no reply.

"I can help him," Mingyu piped up, because if there was something he had learned over the years, that was how to take care of a certain Jeon Wonwoo when he was out of it.

Seungcheol looked at him up and down, judging if he was in a condition to help someone else in his own tired state, but Mingyu knew he could take it. Truthfully, there was nothing he wouldn't take for Wonwoo.

He didn't wait for Seungcheol's approval to walk all the way to the couch Wonwoo was sprawled on, the routine was familiar. He leaned over him and softly brushed his hair away from his forehead to get his attention.

"Hyung. Let's get ready for bed," he said, keeping his voice light and welcoming.

And because Wonwoo too was familiar with this process, he hummed and weakly grabbed Mingyu's hand. It was a bit of a hustle to pull him up, but Mingyu had taken to going to the gym lately. If he could lift Wonwoo when they were sixteen years old and their arms were as skinny as noodles, then he could definitely help him up now. He placed a hand around his waist to keep him steady and Wonwoo leaned heavily on him. And Mingyu would never admit it out loud, but this was what gave him the strength to continue supporting Wonwoo like this. It was maybe selfish of him, but whenever Wonwoo was so tired, it was the one time he never rejected skinship.

They slowly walked together to the bathroom like this, accompanied by the concerned eyes of their group mates. When Wonwoo was like this, he always got everyone worried. Mingyu remembered how terrified he had been in the beginning too. No matter how many times his friend had assured him that he was probably just coming down with a cold, or his blood pressure had dropped, or he even just forgot to take his iron supplements, Mingyu's mind and more importantly his heart couldn't rest for hours. He didn't catch a breath until he figured how to best take care of Wonwoo whenever the older needed it. And now, when everyone else panicked if Wonwoo suddenly got pale and dizzy, Mingyu knew to give him some saltwater to drink and fix his blood pressure. When they were practicing late, Mingyu carried around the small iron pills that his friend always seemed to forget about. And when Wonwoo felt tired like this, he knew that they'd be sleeping together that night and they'd wake up curled tightly around each other the next morning. Emotional comfort went a long way in helping to cure physical exhaustion.

So they entered the bathroom and Mingyu made Wonwoo sit on the toilet lid as he got his make-up remover gel. Wonwoo didn't speak, but his half-lidded eyes were staring at Mingyu, stable and unwavering. And the younger liked that too, knowing that he had his full attention as he took a cotton pad and begun wiping the make-up off Wonwoo's face as gently as possible.

"Close your eyes hyung," Mingyu almost whispered, not wanting to disturb the peaceful atmosphere.

Wonwoo slowly closed his eyes, reminding Mingyu of a comfortable house cat that was on the verge of sleeping. And Mingyu also liked how compliant Wonwoo got when he was letting him take care of him. He scrubbed the eyeshadow and eyeliner off easily, before starting to trace lines all over his friend's cheekbones and forehead and jaw. Wonwoo had a handsome face. Mingyu was glad he had the privilege to memorize it through touch too, apart from sight.

He was rubbing Wonwoo's left cheek when the older leaned into the touch. Mingyu smiled. If he didn't hurry up then Wonwoo was going to fall asleep sitting like that. He quickly finished with him, and hastily took his own make up off too, a lot less gently and carefully than he had done with Wonwoo.

He put the gel and cotton pads away and turned on the shower to let the warm water wash over his hand. Once he was satisfied with the temperature, he turned to his friend again.

"Can you shower by yourself?" he asked tentatively.

It wouldn't be the first time he'd have to help him shower. They were long past that shy and awkward stage of their friendship. Living together with twelve boys for so many years had made them all desensitized to male private parts. This time though, Wonwoo just sighed and lifted his hands to take off his shirt by himself. He was fine on his own then.

Mingyu fetched a fluffy towel he knew the older liked and waited for him to be done. It admittedly took longer than he expected, but when Wonwoo stepped out of the shower on shaky legs, Mingyu quickly wrapped him with the towel and pulled him in a hug.

"Shower good?" he asked, rubbing his hair as dry as possible.

Wonwoo just hummed appreciatively and pressed his head to Mingyu's shoulder.

And damn, Mingyu knew he probably shouldn't feel so giddy at the gesture. Despite his own tiredness, his smile was huge as he secured the towel around Wonwoo's body and made him sit on the toilet lid again. He took off his own clothes and stepped into the water.

"I'll be quick, yeah?" he said as he pulled the curtain.

"Hurry up..." Wonwoo yawned and gripped his towel tighter.

Mingyu's smile became even bigger if that was possible. His friend was so spoiled. It was okay for him to take however he wanted at the shower, but no, Mingyu had to hurry up and give all his attention to him. Mingyu took full pride in knowing that he had made him that way after years of indulging his wishes. Admittedly, his shower was one of the quickest of his life. He felt unashamed at how whipped he might have appeared.

He hastily wrapped a towel around himself and stepped of the shower as well. Wonwoo smiled when he saw him, seemingly having regained some of his energy. Mingyu bet he could walk on his own now, but he also knew that neither of them would let that happen. And so he held him up from his waist again and walked all the way to his room. Wonwoo run his hand through Mingyu's wet hair as they walked, further proof that this closeness was unnecessary and he was okay now. It felt nice though, and Mingyu was beyond caring at this point.

They passed the living room and Mingyu yelled at the others that the bathroom was clear. He hoped Jihoon went in next. He would like a little privacy in their room for a few minutes. He closed the door behind him and tested to see if he could leave Wonwoo standing. As expected, he could. He rummaged through his wardrobe for some dry clothes then, pulling an extra pair for his friend. His room might have been just three steps away, but they were too bothered to bring his own clothes here. Besides, Mingyu always thought Wonwoo looked cute in his own clothes that were oversized on his smaller frame.

He picked out a white t shirt and black pajama bottoms for himself and a red sweater with simple grey sweatpants to give Wonwoo. Also a pair of socks for Wonwoo. His hands and feet got cold easily, he needed all the extra heat he could get. He swiftly dressed himself, and when he turned to his friend, he saw that he had already put on the underwear and the sweater he provided. Mingyu smiled and took the socks and the sweat pants off his hands. He kneeled to the ground in front of him and gently lifted his legs one by one to get the socks on his already cold feet. Then he lifted them again from behind his knees to fit in the sweatpants. When he looked up, he noticed with delight that Wonwoo was blushing a little. And like always, it made him feel unexpectedly giddy.

He didn't know where that feeling was coming from, and why it was always for Wonwoo. He got up again, bringing the sweatpants with him, and feeling his palms dragging over Wonwoo's legs. His hands tingled from the sensation, and he couldn't help but place them around his waist and bring him closer once they were both fully dressed. Wonwoo hummed into the hug, and Mingyu felt so satisfied with everything. He didn't need to do half of the things he did for him, but he did them anyway. Because he wanted to and because Wonwoo wanted it too. A little babying now and then was fine, he supposed.

"This carat was crying, you know? Front row to the left, it was the last thing I saw before we left the stage," Wonwoo started talking as Mingyu gently rocked them back and forth.

"Many cried, I imagine," he replied softly, and reached to the shelf behind Wonwoo to get a night face cream.

He lightly begun applying it on Wonwoo's face, knowing that this was the only part of their skin care routine they would manage that night.

"Imagine how it must feel like, to be all happy and excited and screaming one moment and the next you're crying your eyes out," Wonwoo said, running his hand down Mingyu's back.

"Feelings can get intense sometimes," Mingyu smiled at him.

"And the same goes for us. How happy you are when you enter the stage, but how much you long for it after you leave. It is so emotionally exhausting, it got to me today," Wonwoo explained.

Yeah, Mingyu was familiar with this. This bitterness when it was time to leave the stage, get away from all the people who excitedly scream their love for you and your work, was something everyone idol experienced at some point in their lives. It makes you feel so strong when you perform for people that know every word of your songs and all the fanchants. Performing with a crowd like this is so empowering, it makes you feel like a god. And then, when you leave the stage, you go back to being merely a human. The withdrawal effects can get to anyone at anytime, no matter how experienced they are.

But Mingyu had decided long ago that he was always going to be on Wonwoo's side, to make sure he knew that even as a human he was loved. And this love was not just some fan's love, this was real and solid, and it filled Mingyu up in a completely different way than his love for the stage did.

"Are you okay now?" Mingyu simply asked, putting the face cream away after having it applied to both of them.

"A little," Wonwoo pressed closer to him.

"Do you want to lie down?" Mingyu let his hands drop to Wonwoo's and pull him a bit towards his bed.

Wonwoo nodded. Even after everything, after the fans had made Wonwoo feel awkward about their friendship, after all the fights they had about it and how distantly they had begun acting in public, this was something that they could never resist. The satisfaction of laying down together after Mingyu had taken care of Wonwoo was unparalleled for the younger. It just felt right, like puzzle pieces fitting together.

He had asked himself a lot of times if it was only Wonwoo that got this feeling out of him or if it was generally the fact that he helped someone when they needed it and it could be replicated with anyone. And after some experimenting, he found out that yes, he felt better when he made others feel better, but the feeling was weak comparing to what Wonwoo made him feel.

He didn't know what to do with that information. He didn't know what to do with this giddy feeling he got as the older half climbed on top of him, as he placed his head to the crook of his neck and threw his arm over his waist, his leg over Mingyu's own. He just sighed with contentment and begun running his fingers over Wonwoo's back and ribs, the way he knew the other liked, despite his arms feeling sore. Wonwoo shivered, but he didn't pull away, of course he wouldn't.

After a while, he felt Wonwoo smiling against his neck and suddenly, Mingyu wanted to see it. He wanted to see every smile he managed to pull out of the older. He wanted to see how his eyes became crescents, how his nose scrunched. So he brought one hand to Wonwoo's chin and lifted his head until he was looking straight at his eyes. His other hand kept tracing his back comfortingly, and Wonwoo's soft smile never dropped. There was warmth in his usually cold eyes, warmth that was reserved only for Mingyu, only for when they were like this. It was kind of breathtaking.

If Mingyu was brave enough, he would kiss him then. It wouldn't be hard at all, their faces were only centimeters apart. Mingyu wanted to see Wonwoo's smile, yes, but now that he saw it, he wanted to taste it too and that kind of scared him. Whatever he had with Wonwoo, it would never be enough. He just wanted, and wanted, and the more his friend gave, the more he wanted.

Wonwoo's eyes stopped exploring his face and dropped to his lips then, and Mingyu felt his breath hitch. This was kind of unexpected. This wasn't part of their routine. Mingyu usually had these kinds of thoughts all on his own and he would never act on them. He let go of Wonwoo's chin, and the other blinked once before he hid his face on Mingyu's neck again. Wonwoo’s cheeks started feeling hot against his skin, and honestly, so did Mingyu's.

They didn't talk about it, of course they wouldn't. Mingyu's grip just got tighter around Wonwoo's waist, trying to pull him a little closer, claim him a bit more for himself. Wonwoo cupped Mingyu's cheek with his hand, his touch featherlight, and Mingyu didn't know what to do with this either. He just felt so much.

"Goodnight Gyu," Wonwoo said with his deep voice, muffled on Mingyu's shoulder, but still managing to reach very deep into Mingyu's heart.

"Goodnight hyung," Mingyu managed to say, feeling slightly overwhelmed.

Not overwhelmed enough that it was uncomfortable, but feeling like he just ate a dish he liked a lot and didn't stop the moment he felt full, but kept eating until he couldn't anymore because the food was just that good. Wonwoo let his thumb trace Mingyu's cheek a few times before he stilled, but Mingyu could feel the ghost of the touch long after it ended. If only a touch like this made him feel like that, then what else could Wonwoo make him feel? He was so greedy, he just wanted more, he was always going to want more.

Ah yes, if Mingyu was brave enough, he would definitely be kissing Wonwoo right now.

 

 

 

Jihoon entered the room later, after all the others went to sleep. He tried to give Mingyu as much privacy as he could, he really did. Because maybe the boy was too blind to see it, but everyone else could see how starry his eyes got at the prospect of taking care of Wonwoo. When Jihoon saw Wonwoo enter his room along with Mingyu, he knew he wasn't getting back out that night. And so, he decided to be a good roommate for once and give them space.

But now it was late and his eyes were drooping and he made a beeline to his bed without thinking too much about it. Still, he couldn't help but glance at the other bed on the way. Wonwoo wore Mingyu's red sweater and it was too big on him. He looked very comfortable in it though, and he looked even more comfortable sleeping in Mingyu's arms. The taller had buried his face on Wonwoo's hair, inhaling his scent with every breath he took.

Jihoon sighed deeply. This was a scandal waiting to happen. If Korea was not ready to generally accept idols’ romantic relationships, there was no way they were ready for something like this. They would never understand Mingyu and Wonwoo like their group members have come to. Jihoon didn't want to sound dramatic, but he would fight like a wolf to protect his friends if the public ever noticed what was going on between them.

For now, he laid on his bed and closed his eyes. He would be gone in seconds, but those were some peaceful seconds. He could feel the love radiating from across the room, even if it was too early for his two friends to realize.

 

 

Notes:

Hellooo I hope you liked my first attempt at something that I found the courage to upload and isn't crack.
Feedback is always welcome <3