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The first time Wade saw the new costume, he’d thought it was a second-rate knock-off of Spider-Man. It clearly used his suit as a base but the colors were off, sure the blue accents remained mostly unchanged but a sickly green had replaced the iconic red. It seemed to have been banished almost entirely from the get-up, relegated only to his hands, feet, and curiously, splashed across the mask itself, though the perversion of his heroic visage was the most egregious offense.
The lenses themselves were entirely red, save for the long black lines painted crudely over them. It reminded Wade of the eyespots butterflies used to frighten away predators, the effect similarly uncanny as the false pupils remained forward facing no matter where the wearer actually looked. It was only worsened by the red crescent smile across his mouth, the fabric folded slightly to give it an effect somewhere between a muppet and the joker. It was like the guy had peeked beyond the 4th wall and stolen whatever iconic look he could to gobble together his costume.
It didn’t stop at just pop-culture icons however, it also had a hood ripped straight from Spider-Gwen, ruining the suit’s smooth silhouette and giving it a distinctively amphibian look and oh. Oh, it was one of those parody costumes that was supposed to make some sort of social-commentary!
Wade was totally on this guy’s side now, since when did Spiders even crouch? Treefrog-man made way more sense, how had Froggy (as Wade refused to refer to him as Spidey anymore) even gotten away with that rebranding? Sure he had the silk webbing, but that was artificial anyway, it could just have easily been a slimy tongue if the inventor had been just a bit more nasty, right?
That’s it, he was going to climb up onto that roof and congratulate the guy for having the balls to go after Not-Spidey, it had definitely paid off in Wade’s book, he’d be bringing it up with the man himself as soon as he saw him next.
“Hey Wade,” Came the familiar voice of his long time crush as he leaned over the edge of the roof, a lime-green arm extended in offering to help him up. “You’re not dressing up tonight?”
Wade quirked an eyebrow as he took the (sticky, accurate but ew) hand and let his buddy pull him up, shrugging as he righted himself. “I could have gone as Freddy Kruger but I figured you guys would mistake me for Emo Wolverine.” He smirked at the laugh he got from the other hero, clearing his throat as he gestured to his costume. “So what’s with the deal with the nat-geo repaint?”
Spidey rubbed the back of his neck, mirroring his bashful shrug. “I swing around town in skin-tight spandex 364 nights a year. Tonight? I’m frog.” He mumbled, his confident bluff falling flat with how embarrassed he seemed over his outfit.
Wade entertained the idea briefly that, given how many animal-themed villains Spidey faced a week, this must have been his idea of a scary bad guy. Honestly, while frogs themselves didn’t do much for Wade, the suit was just the right type of absurd and intimidating to give him nightmares. Sexy ones, but he wasn’t about to tell Spidey that.
“Ok, well stay clear of traffic Frogger-man.” Wade clapped him on the back, launching himself out of the awkward situation by taking a running jump off the roof. To his relief, Spidey had still bothered to wear his shooters, even if it clashed with his aesthetic, and he gave the guy a quick salute as he was caught mid-air and lowered to the ground. He glanced over his shoulder once more to watch the proto-villain leap off the building, watching him swing off into the night. He wondered if that get-up would get to his head, giggling to himself at the idea of the hero stealing candy from children. He knew he wouldn’t but it was still a fun image.
Oh well, his loss, that just meant more for Deadpool.