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“And then I told him,” Andrew’s glass hovered in the air before his lips, “I told him he can shove that up his you-know-what.”
“You-know-what?” Alec snorted. “Come one, you can do better than that.”
“Up his ass.” Andrew took a sip, face darkening. “I told him to shove it up his ass. I should have told him to shove it up his dick right up through the tube going through his testicles,” the hand with the glass described a curve, the amber liquid sloshing inside, “and make his balls explode but,” he pointed at Alec with the glass, “he doesn’t have any balls, that absolute piece of shit.”
Alec watched that outburst with a smirk, slowly savouring a sip of his own drink. “And then?”
“Then he still didn’t stop so I decked him one.”
“Jesus, Andrew.”
“Yeah, I know.” Andrew knocked back his glass.
“And what happened then?” Alec gestured at the bartender for another round.
They both were well into their drinks, a welcome relief from the duties that were never letting off. Evenings like this, when they could just be two friends instead of Head of Institute and Head of Security, were rare and treasured.
“He told me I was a fucking disgusting piece of work and left.” Andrew took his glass with a nod to the bartender.
“Yeah, horrible.” Alec took his and shook his head. “Couldn’t think of something better, huh?”
“Idiot.” Andrew took a sip of his scotch, and after a moment his eyes unfocussed a little as a small, almost imperceptible smile appeared on his lips.
“Earth to Andrew?”
Andrew blinked, but the smile widened even as he focussed again. For a given value of, they both had worked their way methodically through half a bottle of scotch already and it showed.
“Lorenzo calls me a piece of art,” Andrew replied, almost dreamily. “Every time he-”
“Please,” Alec cut in. “Spare me the details, please.”
Andrew snorted softly and shook his head.
“I really don’t know how you put up with him,” Alec said thoughtfully. “Never met anyone so full of himself.”
“Maybe because I think there’s nothing to be put up with, about him. Ever.” Andrew stared at nothing.
“His house if full of portraits of himself!”
“They tell the story of his life,” Andrew replied and took a sip. “Either way, believe it or not, he’s as gone as I am.”
“Hard to imagine Lorenzo would care so much about anyone but himself, but you do you, I guess.”
“I’d rather do-”
“You,” Alec said pointedly, “are getting way too comfortable talking about that when you’re drunk.”
“And you’ve been complaining about your love life to me ever so often and now I can’t gush about mine? Some friend you are.”
Alec sighed in defeat and met Andrew’s eyes, who was winking at him over the rim of his glass. “Then... gush?”
Andrew snorted again. “Come on, I was just messing with you. Although, Lorenzo did mention how he would have loved seeing me in, I quote, all my glory, in front of the view of Brooklyn Bridge from the windows of his Brooklyn apartment. Sadly that’s occupied though.” He winked again.
“Brooklyn apartment?” Alec frowned with a confused little smile. “I didn’t know he had another property there.”
“Oh, he doesn’t,” Andrew said after swallowing a generous sip. “He...”
Alec stared, and Andrew noticed the stare and stared back.
Pool balls clacked against each other.
Someone sneezed.
The jukebox finished playing Dancing Queen and started Eye of the Tiger.
“We’re talking about the apartment, right?” Alec asked slowly. “The apartment he gave back to Magnus after the wedding.”
Andrew took a few breaths, and a rather large sip of his drink before he was able to speak again. “I... think we are talking of the apartment of which Lorenzo said that Magnus can live in, free of charge as long as he wants?” he said hesitantly, a nervous smile on his face.
The two Shadowhunters stared at each other for another long moment.
“Who’s going to...” Alec curled up part of his upper lip.
“Not me.” Andrew hastily shook his head. “Not my business. Not yours either. Technically. I mean,” he knocked back his glass, swallowed with a hiss because it had been almost half the shot, “it’s not our fault those two aren’t able to have a civilised conversation most of the time.”
“Yeah but...” Alec stared at his drink. “I think they should know, though.”
Andrew looked at his empty glass and heaved a heavy, fatalistic sigh. “Yeah... they should.”
Then they looked up and their eyes met, and Andrew signalled the bartender for another drink.
Magnus opened the door with a snap of his fingers, and straightened his back when Lorenzo marched in, one forefinger lifted.
“I think we have to-” Magnus began while simultaneously Lorenzo said, “Magnus, there’s something-”
A pause, and the two warlocks looked exceedingly uncomfortable.
“I didn’t think-” Lorenzo said at the same moment that Magnus said, “I assumed that-”
Both cleared their throats.
“Can we please-” Magnus began, pinching the bridge of his nose while Lorenzo dragged a hand down his face and said, “This really isn’t-”
Magnus slowly crossed his arms, and Lorenzo folded his hands behind his back.
“I assume Andrew talked to you?” Magnus asked after a small, pregnant pause.
“And I guess Alec talked to you?” Lorenzo gave back stiffly.
Another moment of thick, slightly uncomfortable silence before Magnus took a deep breath. “Drink?”
Lorenzo nodded with slow blink.
“Make that a double?” Magnus offered.
Lorenzo nodded again, and after a moment, Magnus snapped his fingers and offered Lorenzo a glass with a triple scotch, before he did the same for himself. Then they both settled down on the nearest couch, gingerly and hesitantly as if they were sitting down on a pile of raw eggs.
They both sat there in deeply uncomfortable silence, sipping their drinks, before Magnus finally took a deep breath to get this conversation over with.