Chapter Text
James and Lily were startled out of their conversation when they heard the commotion from the boys’ dorm. They shared one look and quickly scrambled up to see what was going on. When they arrived at the door, Peter was already outside, seemingly too scared to go in.
“What’s going on?” Lily asked in concern.
“Well, Sirius and Remus were in there doing- ugh, whatever gross things they are doing when they’re alone.” James shrugged. “I don’t know what happened? Should we check or would that be weird?”
“I didn’t want to barge in.” Peter mumbled.
Lily looked between the two of them and then opened the door, shielding her eyes with her hand. James and Peter followed her example, entering slowly.
“Is everyone decent?” Lily called out.
James couldn’t help but make a joke. “She doesn’t mean morally decent by the way. She just wants to know how naked you are.”
“Just uncover your eyes!” Came Remus’ annoyed and panicked reply.
All of them did and were greeted by their friends, sitting on Sirius’ bed in underwear. Silk robes were dangling from the headboard and the whole bed was in a state of disarray. Sirius was still panting, although he seemed to be cradling his left wrist to his chest. Remus had a wand in hand, looking completely dishevelled and out of it. James was the first to speak, seeing as Lily was dumbfounded and Peter looked like he was about to pass out.
“What the bloody hell happened?”
Remus looked back at Sirius and then over at James with a panicked gaze. “I broke his wrist!” He shrieked out.
Understanding dawned on the three friends as they slowly approached. It was the day before the full moon. Remus was probably close to having a panic attack after what had just happened.
“He healed it!” Sirius let go of his wrist, moving it around to show them. “It’s fine!”
“It’s definitely not!” Remus snapped at him before scrambling off the bed.
“Moony, come back to bed, please.” Sirius mumbled, crawling forward on the bed.
James made a face and gave a chuckle. “Should we leave?”
“We’re not doing anything more.” Remus proclaimed, turning back to Sirius. “Not tonight or in the near future.”
“Remus, it’s not that bad.” Sirius shook his head. “It was an accident.”
“No, it’s bad.” Remus insisted before getting up and frantically putting his pants on. “You trusted me to take care of you and not hurt you, and I did hurt you. That’s unforgivable. I- Heavens, I can still hear the crack and- Listen, I’ll get back at you all. I just need to take a walk and a deep breath.”
Before Sirius could say anything, Remus had grabbed his sweater and shoes, heading out. Sirius visibly deflated, pulling his knees to his chest.
“Are you hurt anywhere else?” Lily asked tentatively. “Should we take you to the Hospital Wing? You don’t look so good.”
“You look pretty pale.” Peter added, not as tentatively.
Sirius shook his head and buried his head at his knees, slinging his arms around them. He sniffled quietly and Lily gave James a look that said ‘He’s your best friend so do something’. James did and slowly sat down on the bed next to Sirius.
“Hey, mate. What’s wrong? Are you hurt or-”
“No, I’m not!” Sirius snapped. “Stop asking! It’ll only make Remus feel all the more anxious! Shit, I fucked up!”
“You fucked up?” James asked in confusion. “How the bloody hell did you fuck up?”
“I- Remus just left!” Sirius turned to James, tears in his eyes. “No matter what happens, he never just leaves. He always reassures me and- He’ll leave me for sure. I fucked up too badly.”
James swallowed a little and put a hand on Sirius’ back, unsure of what to do. “Listen, you didn’t fuck up and neither did Remus. Accidents happen and they just mean that you’ll have to be more careful next time, alright? I’m sure he won’t leave you; he just needs a bit to calm down.”
“No, this is all my fault.” Sirius buried his face back into his hands. “I promised to let him know if it got too much and I forgot the safeword. It is my fault.”
“Sirius, give him some time to calm down. He’ll surely get back at you. It’ll all be fine, I promise.” James said softly, rubbing Sirius’ arm. “Now, how about you get dressed and we get you something to drink?”
Sirius merely nodded.
---
Later that day at dinner, Remus sat on the other side of the table instead of on the bench right next to Sirius. The black-haired boy was anything but pleased about this but he didn’t want to pressure Remus either, so he sat back and ate his dinner. Remus eyed his wrists guiltily from time to time but Sirius didn’t want to remind him of the incident, so he kept quiet.
When they went to their dorm room, Remus immediately went to bed and drew the curtains closed. Sirius swallowed his nerves and slowly approached the other’s bed, opening the curtains just a little bit to see inside. Remus was sitting on the bed, head in his hands before he looked up and saw Sirius.
“What is it?” Remus asked in a soft voice, undoubtedly still feeling horribly guilty about what had happened. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”
“Can we talk?”
“Can we talk tomorrow?” Remus practically begged.
“But tomorrow’s the full moon.” Sirius said in a low voice even though the only other people present were James and Peter who were watching them worriedly.
“What?” Remus suddenly seemed irritated. “Do you think I can’t hold a normal conversation on that day? Do you think I’m some kind of mindless monster or-”
“Not at all!” Sirius exclaimed. “I just thought that you’d have so much else to think about that this shouldn’t be on the table, too.”
Remus sighed and shook his head. “Not now, please. I feel horrible and I want to think about what to do from now on before I talk about it, okay?”
“From now on?” Sirius swallowed. “You mean- you’re not going to leave me, right? I’m capable of watching out for myself, you know? I don’t want-”
“No, I- Sirius, can you stop being so dramatic?” Remus hissed. “Just give me a few days.”
Sirius nodded a little, fear rising in his chest. He loved Remus with all his heart and the thought of his boyfriend leaving him because he was scared of hurting him was something he couldn’t even bear to think off. Gingerly, he moved closer to the bed, attempting to sit down. Remus stopped him with an upheld hand, never touching him.
“Not tonight, okay?”
“Of course.”
“Will you be alright?”
“Of course.”
That was a damn lie and everyone in the room knew it. Later on, James would sit on Sirius bed and try to distract him while Peter checked on Remus. Both of them seemed pretty bad off. Remus had both his hands buried in his hair, simply staring at the ceiling, not acknowledging any of Peter attempts at reassurance. Sirius was trying to conceal the fact that he was crying but James could tell. Sadly, nothing James could do could help.
When Remus and Sirius had eventually fallen asleep, James and Peter went to bed, too. Both of them looked at one another, Peter nervously chewing his lip and James fiddling with his blanket.
“We have to do something – anything!” James exclaimed. “This is bad! This is really, really bad!”
“And tomorrow’s the full moon.” Peter sighed sadly. “Remus will feel even worse after it. Normally, it’s Sirius whose the best at comforting him but well.”
He gestured widely at Remus’ drawn curtains and Sirius curled up figure. James nodded in understanding. He sighed softly.
“He won’t let Sirius anywhere close to him. Damn, we need to do something!”
“Maybe Lily can help?”
“Yes, sure!” James nodded excitedly. “Lily is so emotionally intelligent! I’m sure she can help us! We need to ask her right away tomorrow.”
Peter nodded in relief. “Yes, we’ll figure something out.”
“I’m sure we will.”