Chapter Text
The Captain groaned as a ray of unfiltered light burning his eyes, he normally didn’t drink all that much, but for…some reason he went all out last night. That’s something he’d deal with later though, for now, this fucking brightness.
“ADA” His voice came out hoarse and dry, that was never a good sign.
“Yes Captain?”
“Where’s the…Uhhh,” The pounding in his skull kept him from thinking straight, or at all, “Didn’t Parvati install some…the light stopper things, ya’ know for the window?”
“You mean blinds Captain?” His fingers snapped in affirmation, “Sorry those are out of order.”
“Out of order? How the hell does that happen?”
“I’m unsure Captain.”
“But you’re the goddamn- ah forget it.” He slowly stood up, he didn’t have the energy for this, this could be dealt with later when it didn’t feel like the world was upside down. He stumbled his way to the door, the typically soft whoosh of the door now a harsh screeching. This might be the worst hangover he’s ever had…seco- no third worst. He didn’t tend to be a heavy drinker, he was pretty light when drinking socially but on the few times he went all in, well; he went ALL in. Getting up the stairs was an adventure to say the least, at least twice he thought he’d be tumbling down the stairs. Pure perseverance of will got him up the stairs, well that and a huff our two from his inhaler but that’s not something the crew needs to know, speaking of which.
“ADA, where’s the crew?”
“Why don’t you ask your other favorite Autonomous Digital Astrogator. You talked to SAM for an hour and thirty minutes about it.” Wait…was she…mad at him? Its amazing that she thinks her sentience is a well-kept secret.
“ADA, I don’t know any other digital astrogator.” Silence answered him before he continued, “If you’re mad ADA then forgive me, but I am barely on my feet right now. Can we talk about this later?”
“…”
“…”
“Vicar Max and SAM are out dealing with the consequences of your…inebriated antics. Nyoka and is drunk and asleep, Felix is out watching the tossball match. Parvati is in the kitchen, and Ellie is making an anti-toxin to cure your hangover.”
“Oh, fucking bless that doctor, wait…anti-toxin? ADA what was that about an anti-toxin? ADA?”
Mumbling to himself about where the ship got its name Unreliable from, he continued his way to the kitchen for a cup of the blackest, darkest, most disgustingly beautiful cup of coffee he could make. Although, the anti-toxin would explain why this didn’t feel like a regular hangover and more like a hangover abandoned ugly stepsister which would be a feat in and of itself, imagine being the ugly stepsister of the hangover. Stumbling into the kitchen, he bee-lined towards the coffee machine and saw Parvati sitting at the table munching on some corporate slop.
“Oh, hey Captain!” Parvati’s usual cheer and innocence always astonished him, and why she’d respected and followed him was as much a mystery to him as anything else.
“Morning Parvati, say, you wouldn’t happen to know what happened last night would you?”
“Oh last night? Well...umm… lots happened last night and ya see-“
“Take a breath Parvati, I’m prepared to hear my shame. If anything, I’m more embarrassed about what everyone on the crew saw.”
“Okay…okay. Well ya see Captain, there’s was a girl in town yesterday that ya seemed kinda sweet on her and I thought it was cute and you helped me and so I thought I’d encourage you and well…” Oh christ he forgot about her, Parvati continued her story as all the pieces started to fall into place. “She dropped ya pretty hard, which I mean don’t seem fair cause your so nice and all Captain, and well you went to the nearest bar with Felix started drinking.”
“All this for one girl…”
“Not exactly, the way Felix tells it is that you went and he quotes ‘Double or nothin’ for the bartender’, and well…it just got worse from there when you kept taking on bigger and bigger dares to try and impress her. Felix said you took a shot of mantisaur…somethin’ but I don’t know if I believe that.”
The Captain simply stood there in something between a mixture of awe of his resilience and absolute shame of his desperation. Well the manisaur claim certainly explains the anti-toxin as well as many other things. It seems like he won’t be back to that bar for a while…or perhaps ever depending on the situation according to the Vicar. It was at this point he realized his coffee had already finished; he downed the coffee in one swig but honestly the story had already woken him up more than the coffee would ever do.
“Wow Captain, that’s somethin’ my daddy could do too! Take a big ole swig of somethin’ bitter in one gulp!” He cast a side-long glance to Parvati, she was too pure for this galaxy.
“Parvati, please don’t do anything I ever do, and not just with the coffee but really…anything.”
“Oh well I sorta already follow that Captain. See your real nice and kind, but with stuff last night… I kinda try to do the opposite of what you do. I’m sorry Captain, I don’t think that was appropriate.” That might be the meanest thing Parvati will ever say in her life.
“Good job, I’m proud of you for that.” He chuckled and her beaming smile was enough for him to continue struggling. “Well I’ll see you later Parvati, apparently Ellie’s got some anti-toxin for the mantisaur poison I drank. I should probably try to flush that out as soon as possible.”
“Wait Felix was serious?!”