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Tony frowned as Gibbs undermined him, yet again. This was becoming a disturbing habit. Tony had always known that it was Gibbs’ way or the highway, but it used to be that Tony could make Gibbs see sense if he stepped over the line.
Now, even when he forced Gibbs to listen to him, Gibbs didn’t even consider what Tony was saying. It was driving Tony bonkers. He couldn’t help wondering if it was time for him to leave.
He loved Gibbs and had for pretty much the entire time he’d been working at NCIS, but this was ridiculous. It was pretty obvious that Gibbs didn’t return his feelings in the slightest. There really wasn’t any point in staying, especially since he wasn’t even appreciated for his investigative skills anymore.
Tony watched as everyone else left, even Gibbs. He’d chosen to stay behind, even making an excuse as to why he couldn’t join them for drinks. He’d claimed that he still had a lot of paperwork to finish, which McGee and Ziva had bought without question.
Gibbs had given him a look, but hadn’t pressed for more information. Tony had been thankful for that small mercy. He hadn’t wanted to flat out lie to Gibbs, which he would have been forced to do if he’d been pressed harder. Tony was fully planning on writing up his resignation letter before he went home.
He didn’t know if he’d actually submit it tonight, but just having it written would be a burden off his shoulders. He didn’t hate the team in the slightest, but things had gotten so bad that he really didn’t trust any of them anymore, not even Gibbs. Trying to find a polite way to say he was leaving that wouldn’t drag anyone’s name through the mud and wouldn’t leave bad blood behind wasn’t going to be easy.
He also needed a plausible enough reason that Gibbs and others wouldn’t press him for the real reason. If it seemed reasonable, they would try to convince him to stay, but wouldn’t try to dig into why he was leaving. He wasn’t looking forward to Abby’s tears and other dramatic effects to make him stay.
Two hours later and Tony thought he might have a decent resignation letter. There was no way he was going to send it in today, though. He’d struggled to write it so much that he knew he would have to review it at least once more to make sure it was decent.
With a sigh, Tony packed up his things and headed to his apartment. Turning the key in his door, it easily opened under his hands. He set his backpack down by the door and made his way into the living room, only to be confronted with Gibbs sitting in the only chair in his apartment.
”Gibbs?”
“Why did you lie to me?”
“I didn’t lie. I really did have paperwork to do.”
“Oh yeah, what? I know you finished all the SFA work and a good portion of my work last week.”
Tony shrugged. “I like staying on top of things, but there’s always more paperwork to do. I’m pretty sure HR has a couple of married paper piles that continuously breed more paperwork for agents to do.”
Gibbs just narrowed his eyes, not about to be distracted. He’d worked with DiNozzo long enough to recognize when the man was trying to avoid a topic. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“It’s nothing, Gibbs. Really.”
“If it’s nothing then you can tell me.”
”Why do you care all of a sudden? I’m fine. Just go home and leave me alone, Gibbs,” Tony yelled, pointing towards the door.
“I want to know what’s wrong with you! You’ve been off all week. You’re no good to me this way!”
“Well then maybe you should find a replacement. I’m sure they’ll be more suited to your needs. After all, it’s not like you went through over 20 different team members before I joined,” Tony snarled.
“Don’t worry. It will be easy to replace you,” Gibbs shouted back.
“Good!” Tony pointed to the door. “Now get out!”
“Good,” Gibbs agreed loudly, finally exiting the apartment.
Tony breathed a sigh of relief after he was sure Gibbs had actually left the building and slid down the back of the door to the floor. He buried his head in his hands. Well there was no question now. It was time to start looking for another job.
That really wasn’t how he expected the night to go. He really hadn’t wanted to look for another job, no matter how frustrated he was with his treatment at NCIS. Just because he had contacts in numerous locations that would be willing to get him an interview didn’t mean that he enjoyed job searching.
He was kind of unnaturally good at it, but he still hated it with a passion. He may have worn a mask at NCIS, but that mask was just a thin layer over his real personality. The interview mask… Well… That was more like giving himself a vasectomy.
It was very very painful to interview and get rejected even if he put on his very best mask that hid almost his entire personality. There were a couple of places where he wouldn’t have to interview and he might start there because honestly he wasn’t eager to put Tony DiNozzo back into the interview box. It took him months to get himself straightened out after the last time he seriously interviewed for multiple positions before accepting one of the offers.
Tony wasn’t sure how long he sat on the ground thinking about his life and the options ahead of him before he finally decided he had to get up. He hadn’t actually had dinner today, but after that confrontation he had zero desire to cook or really eat anything. His stomach had tied itself in knots before Gibbs had even left.
Pulling the sweater off over his head, Tony walked into his bedroom and tossed it in the general direction of the laundry basket. His shirt soon followed it and then he collapsed forward onto the bed, not bothering to shuck his pants and just letting himself fall face first onto the bed. It wasn’t a very comfortable position, but he couldn’t be bothered to move right now.
It felt like hours passed, but the clock insisted it had only been 15 minutes since he’d fallen onto the bed. With a sigh, Tony shoved his hands down, half-heartedly trying to push his pants down without undoing the button. It didn’t work overly well, but did move him a couple more inches onto the bed.
He finally wiggled out of his pants and let them fall onto the floor at the foot of the bed as he finished crawling into bed. He couldn’t be bothered to move more than that. Laying his head on its side, Tony stared at his wall as he contemplated what he should do next before eventually sliding into unconsciousness.
His dreams were filled with shadowy monsters and terror. He woke up the next day filled with a strong sense of foreboding about the day ahead of him. He couldn’t help wondering if Gibbs had already started hiring a replacement.
It wasn’t like it was the first time that Gibbs had indicated he was replaceable. For all Tony knew, he had a slew of people lined up that he could bring in whenever he finally got rid of Tony. With a sigh, Tony dragged himself out of bed and threw on one of his finest suits.
He knew today was going to be one of those days where he especially needed the armor. His first priority when he got in would be finalizing his resignation and sending it to Gibbs and HR. He needed to get in early if he was to do that without making it obvious.
Rushing out the door, Tony grabbed a pastry and coffee from a local shop on his way in. He logged into his computer and pulled up the resignation letter. He fiddled with the phrasing for a good thirty minutes before he finally deemed it good enough and sent it off via email and then printed a paper copy for Gibbs as well.
Tony had just snuck the hard copy version onto Gibbs’ desk when Gibbs walked in. Tony nodded to Gibbs and quickly returned to his desk without saying another word. He couldn’t bring himself to fake being happy and greeting Gibbs cheerfully like he would have on any other day.
The phone ringing startled Tony out of his thoughts and he didn’t know if he hoped that it would bring a case or not. Tony couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation and all Gibbs seemed to be contributing was grunts, so he really had no idea what was going on. When Gibbs glared at Tony, Tony knew whatever it was wasn’t going to be good for him.
“Vance wants us in his office.”
“Why?”
Gibbs just grunted.
Tony frowned and followed Gibbs up to the director’s office. He couldn’t help wondering if this was about his resignation. He wouldn’t have expected it to have reached Vance already, but he couldn’t imagine why else both of them would be being called to the director’s office.
Tony took a deep breath as Gibbs’ opened the door and they both entered through it. Vance nodded to the door and Gibbs quietly closed the door behind them. Tony couldn’t help feeling a little trapped and quickly pasted on his everything is fine disarming smile that generally prevented people from noticing anything was wrong.
Tony interlaced his hands behind his back, standing practically at attention while he waited for someone to tell him why he was here. As they’d been summoned, Tony wasn’t about to initiate the conversation. He didn’t want to bring up his resignation if that wasn’t the reason they were here, so he kept his mouth shut.
The three of them stared at each other, saying nothing. The silence dragged on and Tony was starting to feel uncomfortable and fidgety. He really wanted to know why they were here.
Finally, Vance broke the silence, “I’m ordering a team bonding exercise. Your closure rates have stayed the same, but the amount of time it takes the team to close cases has increased significantly. I’ve noticed a disparity amongst the team and Gibbs agrees.”
“What?”
Vance ignored Tony’s confusion. “You have the rest of the day off to prepare and then you’ll be expected to report to this location for the rest of the month.”
“A month? I can’t do that,” Tony protested.
“Why not?”
“HR has a copy of my resignation. I’m planning to start a new job in two weeks.”
“We’ll have a conversation about that after the month is up. Both Gibbs and I think something’s gone wrong. Give us the month to see if it can be fixed. If you still want to resign after the team bonding, we won’t fight it,” here Vance glared at Gibbs, indicating he would make sure Gibbs would fall in line.
Tony looked between the two of them, but finally gave in. “Fine. I’ll just go prepare, shall I?”
Tony didn’t wait for an answer to his question. He just turned and left Vance’s office. Frustrated with this state of affairs, Tony kicked his desk. Quickly hopping on the other foot as his toe protested the bad treatment, he gathered his backpack and left.
He should have been surprised to find Gibbs in his apartment again, but he really wasn’t. “Why are you here? I already agreed to this stupid team bonding thing for a month.”
“I thought we should talk.”
“I’m pretty sure we said all we needed to, last night. Get out!”
“What happened to us, Tony?”
“I don’t know, Gibbs. Why don’t you ask yourself that question? You’re the one who’s been pushing me away. I don’t even think we’re on the same team anymore.”
Gibbs looked sad for a moment and he tried to reach out a hand to Tony’s shoulder to offer comfort, but Tony twitched out of the way, going through his kitchen instead to avoid contact with Gibbs. He flinched as the entire back wall of the kitchen immolated itself. Seriously, how was this his life?
Hurrying to his bedroom, Tony knew he didn’t have much time and quickly grabbed the few odds and ends laying around that he cared about before sprinting out of his apartment. The various electronics were sparking and more fires were starting all over the place. It looked like it was a good thing they’d be gone for a month because after this he wouldn’t have a place left to stay.
Gibbs followed Tony, trying to grab him and lead him out before the entire apartment went up in flames, but Tony ignored him as he ran through his apartment grabbing what he couldn’t live without. Tony pulled out his phone on the way out of the building and called the super. He briefly explained his apartment was on fire and the super needed to get it fixed. Tony pulled the fire alarm as he left the building, possibly for the last time, to make sure his elderly neighbors wouldn’t get caught up in the fire if it spread, which it was likely to do.
“Why does this stuff happen to me?”
“You’re the one that insists on living in a place that barely meets the health code.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“It looked like some of the wires in the wall had frayed and rubbed against each other enough to light the insulation on fire which as you saw quickly took out your wall. Of course, that’s just my guess from my brief glance at it.”
“Great. Well I guess I’ll need a place to stay for the rest of the day and after this month is over now.”
“One thing at a time. You can put your stuff at my place for now if you want.”
“No thank you. I’ll just find somewhere to hang out.”
“Tony.” Gibbs shot a hurt look at Tony.
Tony ignored it. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the designated location, Gibbs. Don’t worry about it.”
Tony climbed into his car and headed out. He had no idea where he was going, but he needed to get away from Gibbs and the disaster that was the fire in his apartment building. He doubted that anything remaining in his apartment would survive the fire.
Guess it was time for Tony DiNozzo to start over again. Fortunately, he’d had lots of practice at doing exactly that. He didn’t know how he was going to survive the month ahead of him. Being trapped with Gibbs, Ziva, and McGee did not sound pleasant given their behavior recently.
He hadn’t even looked at the address the director had given him and he wasn’t about to now. That would be tomorrow’s problem. Tonight, he was going to find a bar and try to remind himself that there were other fish in the sea.
He hadn’t been interested in anyone besides Gibbs for so long that he really doubted anything would happen tonight, but he had to try. Heck, he didn’t need sex. A nice massage would be fine. Just so long as some of the tension he felt vanished before he was expected to spend a month in close quarters with his teammates who felt he was worthless.
He tapped the bar, silently asking for a drink. He honestly didn’t care what it was. This wasn’t his favorite bar, but he’d been here before and their alcohol was decent.
Right now, all he wanted was to get drunk and forget about tomorrow. Forget about the fact that the one person he had ever truly loved seemed to want nothing to do with him. Tony was positive that Vance had forced this team bonding on Gibbs first and the only reason Gibbs was going along with it was because he lost the battle with the director.
He glanced up at the stage, curious what tonight’s entertainment would be and frowned when he realized that none of the girls on stage did anything for him. He took the drink set in front of it and downed it in one go.
“That bad?” the bartender asked.
Tony shrugged. “It’s about to get worse.”
“That’s rough, man.”
Tony nodded, indicating for another drink. He hoped that getting drunk would improve the looks of the people up on stage, but even after downing the second one they still did nothing for him. With a sigh, Tony glanced at the entrance to the bar and growled low in his throat when he realized that Gibbs was standing there.
Standing up quickly, two drinks weren’t enough to get him really drunk no matter how potent they were, Tony headed straight for Gibbs. “Did you follow me, Gibbs?”
“We need to talk.”
“No we don’t. Get out of my face. You made your point. I’m sure you have better things to do than follow me around all day.”
“Tony, it’s not even 2pm, yet.”
“So?”
“You shouldn’t be getting drunk.”
“Well, excuse me, if I’m not looking forward to a month of ‘team bonding’ exercises.”
“If you won’t leave, I will.” Tony shoved past Gibbs and returned to his car.
He quickly locked the doors and ignored whatever Gibbs was trying to do to get his attention. He pulled out the folder Vance had given him about the month long training session and took a quick look at the address for the place. Recognizing that they were basically being sent to a retreat in the woods, Tony decided to head that way and find a hotel to stay at for the night.
Hopefully, Gibbs would catch a clue soon. He was getting really tired of the man invading his space. He’d already proven how little he needed or want Tony DiNozzo in his life and whatever this thing was that Gibbs was trying to do was only rubbing salt into the wounds now.
He pulled out his phone, typed in the address for the retreat and then had google search for hotels along the route. He didn’t bother choosing one, right now. Just put his keys in the ignition and peeled out of the parking lot, leaving Gibbs behind.
Once he was on the road, Tony took a quick look at the hotels it had returned and picked one at random to add to the route. Now, all he had to do was make sure that Gibbs didn’t follow him. Maybe then he’d be allowed to get drunk and try to forget about everything in peace.
Honestly, so far everything that had happened had only increased his desire to leave and find a new job. He’d been relatively frugal with his money and had plenty to get him through whatever time he spent without a job, after this. Which reminded him…
Scrolling through the contacts on his phone, he hit the button to call Derek. His buddy at the FBI BAU could put a good word in for him and help get his application process started, so that he would have some place to go besides NCIS after this month was up.
”Morgan.”
“Hey Derek.”
“Tony! How are you, man?”
“Miserable. Is that offer to join the BAU still available?”
“I’ll have to check with Hotch, but I’m pretty sure it is. You want it?”
“Please. I need to get out of here. I can’t start for a month because I caved and gave them one last chance to improve things, but based on Gibbs’ recent behavior I doubt it will make a difference. I expect to be ready to move on when the month is up.”
“Sorry to hear that, man, but happy to have you with us.”
“Thanks! Also, do you have room for a temporary roommate in a month?”
“Sure. What happened?”
“My place went up in flames. Faulty wiring, supposedly. I doubt I’ll be able to return even after a month.”
“You can crash here as long as you need, man. You know that.”
“Thanks, Derek.”
“I’ll go tell Hotch the good news. You stay safe, ok?”
“I’ll do my best, Derek.”
They both hung up and Tony returned his concentration to the road and checking for a tail. He wouldn’t put it past Gibbs to be trying to follow him stealthily. Hell, for all Tony knew he had Abby tracing Tony’s phone.
With a frown, Tony turned his phone off and took the battery out. He didn’t want to be followed and better safe than sorry. He couldn’t smash the phone as it was issued by NCIS and he didn’t want to give them any excuses to make life even more difficult for him in a month.
Tony finally pulled off the road and into the hotel parking lot. The adrenaline from the drive had killed any buzz he’d managed to get from the alcohol and now he was just tired. He paid for a room for the night and took his meager possessions up before crashing out on the bed for the night.
When Tony woke up the next morning and made his way down to the continental breakfast that was offered, mainly to get coffee, he was glad to see that Gibbs didn’t appear to have found him last night. He’d driven for about 9 hours last night before he’d stopped and there were still another 4 hours or so before he’d get to the retreat. Tony wondered how the others were getting here, but honestly he didn’t really care.
The documentation said that he needed to be to the retreat by noon, so he would have to get on the road again soon if he were going to make it there on time. Though, really, he was doing a favor for NCIS so he wasn’t going to push himself that hard to make it on time. After grabbing a cup of coffee in one of those cardboard cups, Tony returned to his room and threw on some clothes.
It was only then that it dawned on him that he hadn’t packed for this trip because of the fire. The only clothes he had were the ones on him and the ones in his go bag. The chance of any of his clothing surviving the fire was slim and he was probably going to have to replace his entire wardrobe when the month was up, if not before then.
With a shrug, Tony took out one of the outfits in his go bag. He always had at least 3 outfits available as it wasn’t uncommon for them to end up working a case for three days without being able to go home. He’d deal with the lack of clothes at the retreat if it became a problem. For all he knew, the retreat would be providing uniforms in an attempt to make everyone feel equal.
Tony showered and dressed and threw the rest of his stuff back in the go bag. He stopped downstairs at the continental breakfast again to actually eat this time. After a breakfast of grits, eggs, and bacon, Tony returned to his room and did a sweep to make sure he hadn’t left anything.
Once he was sure he had everything, he carried it down to the front desk to check out. He was on the road again a little after 8. He’d like to say he was calm, but honestly his thoughts were still whirling over everything that had happened.
The restless night had made very little difference in his mental state and he was still wound tighter than a coil spring. His natural reaction to this was to put his foot on the gas pedal. He flipped on the radio as he sped down the highway, easily going 10 over the speed limit if not more like 20 or 30 at times.
The music helped and by the time he arrived at the retreat, the chances of him strangling someone had reduced greatly. To his surprise he saw that not only were the MCRT here, but so were the supporting staff, Abby, Ducky, and Jimmy. “Hey guys.” Tony waved as he exited his car and moved over to where everyone was gathered, turning on the smile that generally made girls swoon at his feet, “Are we all ready for this?”
McGee looked particularly grumpy this morning. “Nope. I don’t even know why I’m here. I haven’t done anything wrong,” he grumbled.
Abby elbowed Tim, quietly telling him to hush. Tony ignored McGee’s attitude and turned to Gibbs and Ducky who had just stopped a discussion they were having. “So what’s the plan?” He grinned brightly at them, doing his best to ignore the tension in his frame and pretty much everyone else present as well.
“Now that we’re all here, we can go meet our camp counselor for the duration of our time here.” Ducky led the way into the retreat and to the front office.
It made Tony wonder if Ducky had been here before. He also couldn’t stop his mind from drifting to the conversation Ducky and Gibbs had been having. They’d stopped as soon as Tony walked up, which was a pretty good indication that it had been about him, but Tony had no idea what they might have been talking about.
Tony blinked in surprise when the front desk informed them that Mr. Reid would be with them shortly. That couldn’t be the man that Tony thought it was, could it? A man with curly hair, about 6’1” walked up to them and Tony couldn’t help smirking, “Spencer? What are you doing here?”
Spencer grinned at DiNozzo. “Good to see you, Tony. I’ll be your guide for the month you’re here. Now if you’ll all follow me, I’ll show you to your cabin.”
Tony couldn’t say he was surprised that they were all sharing one cabin. His mind was still whirling on the fact that the BAU was here. Did they normally help out at this retreat? Or was this because of the call that he’d put in to Derek?
McGee and Ziva, of course, both immediately protested being forced to share the same space with the others. Tony rolled his eyes and ignored them. Abby was bouncing happily declaring it a team sleepover and Tony knew that she would get McGee and Ziva in line.
It would actually be kind of amusing to watch people handle sleeping in the same room as Gibbs. When the team went out of town on cases, no one wanted to share a room with Gibbs, so Tony frequently ended up sharing with Gibbs. It really wasn’t that bad, but the team had this image of Gibbs built up in their heads and Tony suspected that their meeting with reality would be hilarious.
He still wanted to know why Reid was here. Last he knew, the BAU didn’t run team retreats for anyone let alone NCIS. He sidled up to Reid while the rest settled in, “Why are you here, Spence?”
“A friend suggested you could use a friendly face and I’ve volunteered here before.”
“Thanks, Spence.”
Spencer just nodded before turning to address the entire room, “I’ll leave you to get settled in. You’re all expected in the dining hall for dinner at 6pm sharp.”
Gibbs grunted, Ziva and McGee ignored Spencer, Abby bounced excitedly, and Ducky nodded. “I’ll make sure they all get there, Mr. Reid.”
Tony moved to take the bed next to Jimmy. With Ducky, Jimmy, and Spencer here, Tony couldn’t help feeling like things were looking up. Maybe this retreat wouldn’t be as bad as he’d expected.
Of course, just because there were friendly faces around didn’t mean that things got easier between Tony, Ziva, McGee, and Gibbs. In addition, Ducky kept sending Gibbs looks that made Tony wonder what was going on. Tony mostly tried to avoid becoming the center of attention.
Ziva and McGee seemed to be sniping at each other and anyone else who happens to enter their sightlines. They didn’t stop even when they went to dinner. It was driving Tony batty.
He couldn’t even hold a conversation with Jimmy or Spencer because of their noise and they claimed he was the one that didn’t stop talking. It was insane. Tony was glad when the night was over and they could go to sleep.
Though even that was filled with Ziva and McGee arguing over various things. Tony tried to sleep, but it wasn’t easy. Jimmy shot him sympathetic looks.
At least, with Ziva and McGee being so annoying, Gibbs couldn’t even attempt to corner him for a private conversation. Tony finally fell asleep around 2 in the morning. At 6am, airhorns started blaring.
Pretty much the entire cabin was immediately grabbing service weapons and looking for the fire. Abby was the only one who was still asleep. Somehow she managed to sleep through the airhorns, Tony assumed it was due to blaring her music in her lab all day.
Spencer walked in the door, holding an airhorn in one hand and announced, “It’s time for your first team bonding exercise.”
Tony groaned and collapsed back onto the bed. “What do we have to do?”
“Get dressed and meet me outside.”
”I wanted more sleep.” Tony sighed, pulling on his pants.
“Why are we up at the crack of dawn?” Abby yawned.
“Team bonding.”
“Oh, great! Get me some coffee.” Abby rolled over and went back to sleep.
Tony looked at Abby and shook his head. It wasn’t his job to force people to participate, but there was no way he was participating if others got to get out of it. He shouldn’t have worried though, Gibbs just went, “Abbs,” in that warning tone of voice he had and she rolled back over.
“Do I have to?”
Gibbs just gave her a glare, having already finished dressing. The rest of the group finished getting dressed and they all headed outside to see what they would have to do today.
“Today, you will be doing trust fall exercises.”
“I want Tim!” Abby bounced happily.
“I will take Gibbs.”
“Oh no, my dear,” Ducky interrupted, “I do believe that Spencer would like that privilege. Gibbs and Tony should pair up and I will, of course, take Jimmy.”
Ziva glared, but when Gibbs didn’t protest, she had no choice but to accept Spencer as her partner. Tony frowned. He almost would have rather had Ziva for a partner. He definitely would have preferred Spencer.
“I’d be happy to partner with Spencer and let Gibbs partner with Ziva,” Tony offered.
“What, DiNozzo, you don’t trust me anymore?” Gibbs asked.
Tony raised an eyebrow at that, but instead of answering Gibbs question, he just calmly pointed out, “I know Spencer. Ziva doesn’t. It makes more sense for me to partner with him.”
“While it might seem that way, I’m afraid I’m going to have to side with Dr. Mallard.” Spencer smiled sheepishly. “Ziva, if you would.” Spencer gestured to the spot in front of him.
Tony glared at Spencer. He’d thought Spencer was his friend. The fact that he was siding with Ducky and Gibbs bothered Tony greatly.
Tony gestured in front of him, “You first, Gibbs.”
“Of course. I trust you, Tony.”
Tony just shook his head and held out his hands for Gibbs to fall into them. These exercises were so pointless. Why were they doing this?
At least, Ziva didn’t seem to be any happier about her partner than Tony did. Tony caught Gibbs and then let Gibbs catch him. He stood up and crossed his arms. “Are we done now?”
Spencer smiled, “For now. There will be another exercise around 1pm. Be prepared.”
Tony rolled his eyes. Spencer was getting way too much enjoyment out of this. He just wished he knew why.
Tony turned to leave and Gibbs grabbed his hands. “We should talk.”
Tony just looked at him. “We already had this discussion.”
”No, really. I think you should talk,” Ducky insisted, gesturing to the cabin. “I’m sure that Spencer has something that the rest of us can do.”
“Ducky? It’s really not necessary,” Tony protested.
“I think it is, my dear boy. Please just listen to what he has to say,” Ducky begged Tony.
Tony stared at Ducky. Noticing the implacable set of Ducky’s shoulders, he didn’t bother arguing. Tony huffed and entered the cabin without another word.
Gibbs followed Tony without any protest. Ducky walked him over to the cabin and waited for Gibbs to enter. “Now you two stay here and talk about this and don’t come out until you’ve actually talked, please.”
“Really, Ducky? What are we twelve?”
“Please, Tony. Just do this for me. I think you’ll find what Gibbs has to say very enlightening.”
Tony sulked, but Ducky ignored him, calmly shutting the door behind them. Tony still felt like he was ten again and had no idea why everyone wanted them to talk and trust each other. Ignoring Gibbs, Tony jumped on the bed, bouncing on his butt before he settled back against the pillows and stared at a wall.
“Tony?”
“Present.”
“Are you going to talk to me?”
“No.”
“Will you listen?”
Tony shrugged. “Do I have a choice?”
“I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to be the functional mute in this relationship, not you.”
“Turnabout is fair play.” Tony didn’t understand why Gibbs was so obsessed with talking to him. They’d said everything there was to say to each other already.
The cabin dissolved into silence. Tony wasn’t about to break it. If Gibbs wanted to talk, he could start the conversation.
“You’re not going to make this easy, are you?”
“Oh like you’ve made the last few years easy for me?”
“Tony,” Gibbs’ breath caught in his throat as he stared at his SFA.
Tony remained silent. He had no idea what this whole thing was about. He had tried to bury his feelings for Gibbs, but it was really hard when Gibbs kept trying to talk to him.
There were a number of reasons that he loved Gibbs and his persistence was one of them. It hurt to see Gibbs and know that he didn’t care about him. Tony closed his eyes and tried to forget about the current disaster.
“I love you.”
Tony’s eyes shot open. “What? You can’t say that, Gibbs.”
“Why can’t I? It’s true.”
“It can’t be.”
“Why not?”
“You were happy to replace me only a few days ago. You can’t say that and then turn around and say you love me, Gibbs.”
“I’ve loved you for years, Tony.”
“Well you did a good job of hiding it.”
“I had to. No one could know. I couldn’t allow any accusations of favoritism to affect your career.”
“That’s a pretty poor excuse for pushing me away all these years.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you.”
“What changed?”
“You turned in your resignation. I was going to lose you if I did nothing. Please don’t leave me, Tony.”
“You put me through hell, Gibbs, and there are some serious issues with the team.”
“Help me fix them, but please don’t leave me.”
Tony turned his head to look at Gibbs. He wanted to believe him. He wanted to forgive him, but he wasn’t sure if he should.
“Please.”
Gibbs wasn’t hiding. His emotions were written all over his face. Tony honestly didn’t know what to think. Gibbs had said sorry and please. That meant something.
“I need to think.”
“Is it too late?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t.”
“Why haven’t you told me that you don’t feel the same? If you told me that, I’d understand, but you haven’t.”
“Because I do have feelings for you, but it’s not that simple. Not after everything. Especially not after you said how easy it was to replace me.”
“I was angry. I didn’t mean it.”
“It hurt just the same.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“I’ll think about it, Gibbs. That’s the best I can do, right now.”
“Jethro. You can call me, Jethro.”
“I’ll think about it,” Tony repeated.
“That’s all I can ask. We still need to deal with the team.”
“I can’t right now, Gibbs.”
“I understand.”
“I’ll send them home and tell the director it was a bad idea.”
“Thanks, Gibbs.”
Gibbs nodded and left. Spencer came in shortly after Gibbs left. “What happened? I thought that was what you wanted.”
“So did I, but I’d already starting making peace with the fact that he didn’t want me and I don’t know what to believe anymore, Spence.”
“That guy really loves you.”
“I know.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, man.”
“Just be careful. Don’t throw away exactly what you both want just to make him feel the way you felt.”
“So what? I should forgive him?”
“No. Make him work for it. Just don’t let him get away if he’s what you really want, champ.”
“Thanks, Spence.”
“No problem. Offer is still open to work with us regardless of how it goes.”
“I know. I’ll see you guys soon, I promise.” Tony still didn’t know what he was going to do about Gibbs, but he knew they both deserved him taking the time to figure it out.