Work Text:
There’s no one in the country who hasn’t heard of the cursed prince.
The story of Prince Minhyun, who got cursed on his twentieth birthday by a wicked princess who wanted revenge upon getting rejected by the prince.
For three years now, the prince has been in a constant sleeping state, his eyes never opening and his voice never heard again.
Jonghyun, too, knows that story. He’s grown up by the prince’s side, has been groomed to serve Minhyun from birth. First as someone who would just give Minhyun company and then, over the years, as Minhyun’s personal knight.
Minhyun had been against Jonghyun becoming a knight and Jonghyun remembers all the times they argued over it. Jonghyun’s decision had been prompted by the need to protect Minhyun, and Minhyun had only wanted to protect Jonghyun, too.
Stopping Jonghyun from making his goals happen was impossible, though, Minhyun had realized. Bravery and Jonghyun were actually synonyms, and Jonghyun had made sure to prove Minhyun that becoming a knight was the only path for him.
Still, at the end of it, Jonghyun can’t help but wonder if Minhyun had been right, if he should have never become a knight.
Minhyun’s limp hand in his is his fault, after all. He’s the one who failed to take care of the prince, the one who let this happen—
The one who failed the man he loved.
There’s not a day that goes by without him missing Minhyun, without him missing Minhyun’s smile or the nights they spent laughing or talking of the future—-their future and what it could possibly be.
Neither of them had truly made their feelings for the other clear, but they hadn’t needed to, and hadn’t wanted to make things more complicated than they needed them to be.
Jonghyun just knows, knows that Minhyun loves him.
He knows, just in the same way he knows that Minhyun is the love of his life.
His feelings are never going to change, no matter what happens.
“I miss you so much,” Jonghyun says, his fingers stroking Minhyun’s face softly. “If you wake up, I’ll never ask you to shut up again—“
It’s awful, seeing Minhyun so unresponsive. His Minhyun is loud, and silly and definitely way too clingy. This body shell isn’t Minhyun.
Seeing him like this, Jonghyun can’t stand it. It hurts, hurts more than the guilt he’s been carrying all these years.
Even if Minhyun doesn’t forgive him for letting this happen after waking up, even if Jonghyun might end up being sent away or killed—he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care, as long as Minhyun wakes up.
“Please, wake up,” he whispers, his fingers now on Minhyun’s lips. Minhyun’s lips are his favorite feature, and Jonghyun misses them. Just like he misses Minhyun. “Come back to me.”
“Please, come back to me.”
Just this one time, Jonghyun thinks, before leaning down and pressing his lips against Minhyun’s. Just this one time, he will indulge and allow himself a kiss—maybe one last kiss—
So, he just does, his lips touching Minhyun’s soft yet cold ones.
Minhyun’s eyes flutter open.
***
The news of the prince waking up has spread all over the country like wildfire. There’s absolutely no way to escape it and Jonghyun sighs as he hears two fellow knights talking about it during sword practice.
He wishes they would stop, wishes his thoughts would stop bringing back to how is Minhyun doing, whether he’s missing him or not, to Minhyun, Minhyun, Minhyun—
“Jonghyun-ah,” one of the two suddenly calls and Jonghyun stops mid-move, sword still ready to attack at any moment. He quickly takes a look at Dongho, who waves at him cheekily. “Are you back to being the prince’s personal knight now that he’s awake?”
Jonghyun has always been good at maintaining a good face and keeping his emotions in check. He’s never found that particularly useful, never had a reason to use that advantage but for once, he just hopes that the distress he’s feeling isn’t as obvious as he thinks it is.
Damn Kang Dongho for making him face the issue he’s been trying so hard to avoid. “I—” he starts, unsure of what to say. He’s bound to have an answer soon, though, because he won’t be able to avoid Minhyun for much longer.
The prince has been awake for the past two days after all and it’s only a matter of days—if not hours—before he’s cleared out by the doctors and allowed to leave his room.
Once Minhyun gets back to his duties, Jonghyun knows the first thing the prince will do is look for him.
This can’t happen.
It can’t, because Jonghyun isn’t ready. How to look into the eyes of the man you love knowing you’re responsible for what happened to him? How to go on with your relationship afterwards?
Jonghyun can’t do it. Purely and simply can’t.
He shouldn’t be allowed to be near Minhyun, not after what he has let happen.
“I’m not sure,” is what he settles with. It’s not much of an answer and the kind of answers no one can be satisfied with but it’s all he has to offer.
That, and a tight-lipped smile before going back to practicing.
***
“Prince Minhyun has called for you,” the commander of the knights says to Jonghyun. “He wants you back on duty tomorrow.”
Jonghyun stays silent. He isn’t surprised by the turn of events, had rather expected it even. Years of being by Minhyun’s side have taught him a thing or two about the crown prince.
That, and Minhyun has always been the only book he’s learned how to read.
Jonghyun can’t read, but he still has spent more afternoons in the royal library than most. Hours of staying still with his hand on his sword and Minhyun’s head on his lap and stealing more glances than he should have at the focused, oblivious prince.
Everything had been easier back then, when they were still two teenagers pretending to be grown-up, when their responsibilities weren’t as big as they are now.
Those times are long over, though, and Jonghyun knows they won’t ever be able to go back to those days. Their innocence is lost, and so is Jonghyun.
He had thought a lot about what he should say over the last two nights, repeating the words he had prepared a thousand times in his head, only stopping after he felt close to being brainwashed.
Still, he finds out they don’t come out easily, opening and closing his mouth a few times.
When he finds his voice, he’s not surprised to find out the words come out a bit shakier than what he intended. “Please, appoint someone else as the prince’s personal knight, sir.”
“Knight Kim, you are refu—”
This time, he’s firmer, his tone leaving no room for discussion. “Yes.”
“Alright,” the commander says, his face closed off. He doesn’t need to say anything for Jonghyun to know what he’s thinking, the disapproval in his eyes is more than enough.
Never before that disapproval has been directed at him. It hurts, but Jonghyun knows he has no other choice. It’s one of the prices to pay for his failure.
He’s about to walk out when the commander calls him back.
“Jonghyun.” The worry in his voice unmissable. For a second or two, Jonghyun thinks of taking his words back or to at least apologize. He does neither in the end, only looking over his shoulder and taking in the worried expression of the man who has been his mentor for over ten years now. “You know what’s going to happen, right?”
Of course, he knows. Minhyun is going to come find him as soon as his refusal comes to his ears.
After all, it’s the first time someone is blatantly disobeying Minhyun and as the future ruler of this country, Minhyun can’t let that go.
Even if it’s Jonghyun.
Especially if it’s Jonghyun, who should be by his side and the last person to go against him.
A confrontation is going to happen, and a punishment might even follow. In a way, that’s what Jonghyun wants—being punished.
Punished for what he let happen, for taking years of Minhyun’s life. At this point, even being exiled from the kingdom doesn’t seem enough of a punishment in his opinion.
But no matter what happens once Minhyun comes find him, Jonghyun believes he’s as ready as he can be and hopes it’s enough.
***
He isn’t. It isn’t enough, either.
Even now, as he’s trapped against the wall of his bedroom and Minhyun’s chest, his treacherous heart wants more, wants one last kiss, one last touch before everything changes.
He doesn’t reach out though, doesn’t even take a look at Minhyun as he speaks. “Please, let me go.”
The scoff he gets in return isn’t unexpected but still stings. “Never,” Minhyun says in a low voice but the message gets across quite loudly. He’s not going to let go without a fight and if Jonghyun has to be honest with him, he’s not sure he’s ready for one.
“Please,” he tries, hoping to still get out of this confrontation unscathed. “I just—”
Minhyun doesn’t want to listen, though, interrupting him with a scoff that echoes so loudly in his small room. Jonghyun’s eyes don’t leave Minhyun’s face as the prince looks around and takes into his surroundings. The single bed and wooden dresser aren’t much to look at, incomparable to the lavish quarters the prince is used to.
What seems to pick up Minhyun’s interest, though, is the small bag next to the door.
“Minhyun,” Jonghyun whispers, trying to rack his brain for a good explanation. Minhyun is far from stupid, though, and they both know that whatever he’s going to say next won’t matter.
“At least you aren’t calling me Crown Prince,” Minhyun says but Jonghyun immediately corrects himself by doing just that. “Forgive me, Crown Prince, I—”
Minhyun’s face is dark as he opens his mouth, “Don’t you dare, Kim Jonghyun.”
Jonghyun waits for what’s going to come next, knows how snappy Minhyun can become when he’s angry. He’s never been angry with him before, but Jonghyun has seen it.
Minhyun’s voice is abnormally calm, though, and even takes on a pleading turn when he decides to talk again. “Please, Jonghyun,” he says in a low whisper, his mouth hovering over Jonghyun’s. “Don’t do this to us. Talk to me, please.”
A prince isn’t being taught to beg or ask for things. They have no reason to, after all, so it’s surprising how easily the words come out of Minhyun’s mouth. If things were different, Jonghyun would probably make fun of him and make him repeat that a few times but joking is the last thing on his mind.
“Minhyun,” he says, not missing how Minhyun smiles at this. Fuck, he swears inwardly, but it’s too late to take it back. He has another point to make, anyway. “This is my decision. You don’t have to worry, I’ll leave quietly.”
“You’re not going to leave, Jonghyun-ah,” Minhyun replies immediately. “I’m not going to let you.”
This time, it’s him who begs. “Please, Minhyun-ah,” he whispers, looking up to meet the other’s eyes. “Please, let me go. I can’t be with you.”
“Never,” Minhyun whispers against his lips and Jonghyun doesn’t resist as Minhyun pushes their mouths together. The kiss is akin to coming home and tears roll down his cheeks at the realization he’s never going to feel this again, that this is goodbye.
It takes him a minute or two for him to gather the strength to push Minhyun away and he chokes on his sobs as Minhyun wipes the tears away with his thumb. “Everything is my fault, Minhyun-ah. I almost lost you, I couldn’t protect you—” He’s choking up on his words at this point but Minhyun patiently waits for him to calm down. “How can I stay by your side knowing I almost killed you?”
“Jonghyun-ah,” Minhyun whispers in a pained voice, both of his hands now cupping Jonghyun’s face. “Look at me, my love.”
Jonghyun tries to shake his head but Minhyun isn’t letting go of him and he caves in, his eyes meeting Minhyun’s glistening ones.
“Nothing that happened to me is your fault,” Minhyun says and Jonghyun tries to protest but Minhyun puts a finger on his lips and he falls silent. “You're not the one who cast that spell on me nor you are the one who rejected her. You couldn’t know.”
“But—” Jonghyun tries to argue.
Minhyun shakes his head at him, but his eyes are full of fondness. His hold on Jonghyun doesn’t loosen, though. “But nothing,” he says, “I won’t let you carry that guilt any longer. I can protect myself.”
Jonghyun sighs, and perhaps, Minhyun is right. Perhaps, just perhaps, there’s nothing he could’ve done to avoid what is known across the kingdom as the sleeping beauty curse.
“Can you?” is what he answers, half-joking to lighten the atmosphere.
Minhyun chuckles lowly, replying in the same teasing tone, “Yes, but not from you.”
Jonghyun laughs at that, his eyes crinkling. The cloud of dark thoughts that was surrounding him for the past few weeks is nowhere to be seen and it’s almost like before—
Jonghyun sobers immediately and Minhyun picks up on it, clearing his throat. “You asked me to come back to you, didn’t you?” Jonghyun doesn’t say anything and he clarifies, “When I was still—,” Minhyun licks his lips, trying to find the right word.
“Asleep,” Jonghyun fills up for him and he nods.
He knows what Minhyun is talking about, nodding slowly and blinking a few times. He doesn’t think he could forget even if he tried. Pleas for Minhyun to come back had been the last things he had said to an asleep Minhyun, after all.
Minhyun smiles. “So, it’s my turn now. Please, come back to me, Jonghyun-ah, and stay by my side forever.”
It could be Minhyun’s voice or the way he’s looking at him—with such love and honesty—but Jonghyun finds himself nodding, looking everywhere but at Minhyun.
It isn’t enough to deter Minhyun. “I think we need something to seal this promise, don’t we?”
This time he doesn’t wait for answer, pushing their mouths together once more and Jonghyun smiles against his lips.
Leaving wouldn’t have been possible, he thinks, because Minhyun is home.
His home.