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so this is what makes life divine

Summary:

tanjirou has never known love outside anything familial or platonic but maybe genya changes that completely.

Notes:

hello! i love genya and gentan so much. this is my first actual work on them and i hope i did ok. this roughly follows the canon timeline with my little tweaks here and there. un-betaed bc it's kinda late and i need to sleep so yeah, enjoy! feel free to tell me if i have any mistakes!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

everything comes back to him in flashes.

tanjirou remembers the first time he laid eyes on him vividly.

he was surrounded by the purple glow of wisteria and the cool air of the mountains. it had been seven days. seven breakneck days and the final selection had come to an end.

his muscles felt heavy and his breath grew thin. he looked around to find only three other participants survived. a girl with glass-like eyes, a shivering boy with bright yellow hair, and another boy with both a scar running across and a murderous look painting his face.

of course, the twins were also there. standing still like the dolls made out of porcelain tanjirou would often see in the shops from the rich district. the ones hanako had wanted. the memory brought a bitter taste in his mouth.

they announced the end of the selection and ranked them as mizunotos. they gave them their crows, said that the nichirin blades will come in two weeks time with monotone voices.

tanjirou had let out a breath. so, this is it. he had thought.

he had opened his mouth to thank the proctors when he’s cut off by a growl and the surprised caw of a crow.

the boy, the one with a scar on his cheek, held one of the twins by the hair. her expression did not change one bit, a stark contrast to the glowering eyes of the onyx-haired boy. he was shouting in a frenzy, demanding for a blade right that instant and tanjirou’s body moves on its own accord.

before he knew it, his own hand was already gripping the other boy’s wrist. maroon meets black for the first time.

“let go of her.” tanjirou had said, trying to level eyes with the boy who was just about an inch taller than him. his tone makes the boy’s eyes grow wide. “if you don’t, i’ll break your arm.”

“hah? who do you think you are?” the dark haired boy spat incredulously, sizing him up. tanjirou stood his ground despite himself. “you can try.”

the boy shot him a look that told him to not even dare, but tanjirou was and always has been as stubborn as a mule, so he did.

the sound of a bone cracking resonated through the clearing. the yellow-haired boy gasped.

to his credit, the boy backed away with nothing more than a grunt. he eyed tanjirou with a look one can only describe as dislike. perhaps annoyance. tanjirou stared back determinedly.

this was where it started.

the next time tanjirou saw the boy with a scar on his cheek was when he was recovering at the butterfly estate.

the corridor was narrow and there was only too little space tanjirou could occupy when the other person was walking like a battering ram.

tanjirou was pushed to the side forcefully as the boy did not even stop to spare him a glance.

“hey!” tanjirou had called out to his back. and then, he saw the familiar dark hair pulled up into a ponytail. something clicks. “hey, aren’t you.. the rude guy from the last selection-- ge- genya?”

the boy halted in his steps and glanced back at him. “fuck off.”

the boy, genya, had changed a lot. if he was taller than tanjirou back then, he was definitely taller than him now as he seemed to have grown twice his size since the last time they saw each other.

“i-i’m sorry about your arm, you know, back then-” tanjirou started, his hand coming up to scratch behind his neck. “i’m glad to see you again.”

that last part made genya stop in his tracks. he didn’t know why but his heart skipped a beat in the slightest. here was the guy who broke his arm without a second thought, a stuttering mess in front of him, but why was he kind of ... fond?

was it because of the gentleness of tanjirou’s voice or the fact that someone, especially someone like tanjirou who looks too nice for his own good, was kind to him at all? he wasn’t sure. so instead he just softened his glare. that was the most he could do.

and tanjirou watched, as the boy left him in the hallway with nothing more than a grunt.

it seemed like the universe had cursed the two of them with god awful and unbelievable situations because the next time they meet, tanjirou is holding out genya’s lone tooth in his palm as a sort of peace offering to the ponytailed boy. nevermind how being in an empty hot spring made it ten times worse. genya was blushing red in a way tanjirou never thought he could. or would.

honestly, tanjirou had expected genya to be kinda surprised about this but he hadn’t expected that the boy would be outraged, let alone that he would actually shriek.

“why the fuck would you keep that?” the taller boy squealed, slapping tanjirou’s hand away. the tooth flew out of his grasp and onto the floor with a minute clink! and tanjirou scrambled to his knees to pick it up. genya looked at him like he’d gone insane. “oh god. you’re actually crazy.”

tanjirou replied with a pointed look.

then, he realized how it looked like in genya’s point of view. the two of them were shirtless and sweating due to the steam, and here he was offering what essentially was a discarded bone from genya’s mouth which tanjirou picked up moments before. maybe he is crazy.

he felt his cheeks burn. nevertheless, he shrugged. “i-i was just trying to help you.”

“in what way?” genya exasperated, stepping a good deal away from him. “how is collecting my teeth anything but fuckin creepy?”

“i-i saw you throw it over your shoulder and just wanted to help you correct it. y-you have to throw it straight down to the ground so that your teeth grow straight,” tanjirou reasoned, trying to thrust the tooth into genya’s hands. “my father taught me that when i was a kid, and look, it worked.” he smiled way too widely, showcasing his pearly whites.

“i don’t believe that superstitious shit,” genya shook his head, turning away from the smaller boy.

“but you have to! or else you’ll have crooked teeth.”

genya rolled his eyes at tanjirou’s stubbornness. he pulled his own cheek back with a finger to show tanjirou that “see? i’m perfectly fine.”

the brown haired boy’s eyes went wide when he sees genya’s tooth had grown back as if nothing ever happened.

“but you, you just lost the tooth today,” tanjirou said in disbelief. “how is that possible?”

genya’s eyes go wide in surprise and he looked at tanjirou for a moment as if he was going to tell him something, then he furrowed his brows and left.

tanjirou sighed as he slumped on one of the rocks, thinking about how hard it was to actually make the tall boy his friend. he didn’t know exactly why, but he was drawn to him. and he realized he’s gonna have to try harder as he looked at the small tooth still in his palm.

the chance came at the same time tanjirou found out that genya had the ability to wield the powers of a demon. it was during a battle against upper moon four.

they had fought side by side. genya had saved nezuko, saved him, and tanjirou had saved him back. maybe it was foolish, but there was a part of tanjirou that felt like he had fought alongside him before.

the fight died down until their chests were heaving and the bones in their bodies threatened to collapse beneath them. they sat at the side of the road as they watched the swordsmith village go up in flames. there was a scent of coal and burning metal in the air. nezuko was fast asleep.

“thank you.” tanjirou had said, crossing his feet under him gingerly. “i owe you one.”

genya turned to him with a look he couldn’t quite understand. “you saved my ass too. you don’t owe me anything.”

“but you—

“just shut up will you?” genya interjected as he laid down onto the grass behind them. “we almost died a few minutes ago. can’t we relax in peace?”

tanjirou was about to say something else when a strong hand comes and grabs him into the midnight dew.

his body reacted out of reflex. turned on its own axis out of muscle memory, but that didn’t mean he didn’t fall to the grass.

the ground was colder than he had imagined. that and genya’s face was almost too close to his than he’d expected. tanjirou felt his cheeks warm up as genya abruptly turned to look at the sky.

“why did you want to become a demon slayer?” tanjirou said instead, fighting the urge to blush.

it took a moment before genya answered. the two boys were surrounded by nothing but the cadence of the forest and the symphony of their own breathing. the serenity was the complete opposite of the madness they had just survived.

“i just want to see my brother again.” genya sighed, voice so quiet that tanjirou almost didn’t hear it. “i just want to tell him i’m sorry.”

“for what?”

“it’s a long story.”

“i love stories.” tanjirou rolled over so he can lean on the grass with his elbows, hands cupping his own face. genya’s breath is caught in his throat by the suddenness, wondering why his heart was beating fast as he looked at tanjirou with a sort of awe. “do tell.”

he might have been tired as all hell, but somehow looking into those maroon eyes made him feel stronger. alive. like maybe there were more reasons for him to be there at that moment other than to get rid of his guilt. maybe.

“fine.”

tanjirou listened quietly as genya recalled the grim details of what had happened to him and his family. and although his mother turning to a demon and his brother having to kill her really wasn’t the most interesting story to tell, let alone the most appropriate at a time like that, tanjirou was hooked on his every word. his face stayed solemn much to genya’s surprise, but he saw that the maroon eyes began to hold a sad sort of admiration that wasn’t there before.

“so yeah, i got my whole family killed and i destroyed my relationship with the only sibling i had left.” he laughed bitterly, averting his gaze. “i’m just a useless coward.”

genya sighed when he was finished as tanjirou chose to turn over and lie next to him again. their shoulders were the only parts of their bodies that were touching but it was the perfect amount of comfort genya had needed. for some reason, it made him feel like he was being held close, although he wasn’t. something about the smaller boy’s presence made it feel like he was.

“after what you did tonight, you clearly aren’t either of those.” tanjirou had whispered carefully, eyes scanning the ponytailed boy’s face as if he was committing it to memory. “well, you even have a shot at being a hashira.”

“i don’t really care about that,” genya admitted, smiling sadly. “but if it’s the only way i could see my brother again, i’ll take it.”

“i’m sure he misses you, too.” tanjirou said. “if i went that long not seeing nezuko, i would—

“you don’t get it.” genya cut him off, suddenly stern. “my brother hates me. and i deserve it.”

“i’m sure he doesn’t—

“i called him a murderer.” genya said quietly, like it pained him. and it did. “i was so stupid.”

the maroon eyed boy just stared at him for a moment before he smacked both of their foreheads together lightly. and by lightly, it means it didn’t hurt but god did genya feel like he was just hit on the head by a warm (soft-ish) rock. he wondered if the reason tanjirou was so stubborn was because he was made of stone.

“it wasn’t your fault. you were just a kid,” tanjirou said after awhile, smiling as he laid back down onto the ground.

genya said nothing. so tanjirou added,

“and i think you’re brave.”

the ponytailed boy turned his head towards tanjirou to see that the boy wasn’t even looking at him, instead enamored by the night sky. there was a beat that ran across his chest but he ignored it, inhaling through his nose as he looked towards the sky as well.

the two boys watched stars scatter apart across the blue, as the stars watched two boys come together.

himejima didn’t have a problem with his students chatting while training so the two of them take advantage of this quickly.

“hey, tanjirou.” genya said, coming up behind the smaller boy and turning him around by his shoulders. “how’s the bruise blooming?”

tanjirou rolled his eyes at the taller boy. “still hurts like a dream.” he scowled, showcasing his swollen face. “sanemi-san really can pack a punch.”

genya laughed at that, eyes crinkling into crescent moons. the gentle sight made tanjirou think that maybe his wounds didn’t hurt as much as before. maybe the secret to all his ailments was just genya doing happy, mundane things. like laughing and smiling. and him doing that in the presence of and because of tanjirou. maybe.

the said scar-cheeked boy snapped his fingers in front of tanjirou’s face. “hey, don’t zone out on me now. i was saying something.”

tanjirou immediately sat up straighter, blushing at the thought of how he was just really daydreaming about genya giggling. “w-what were you saying?”

“i said i appreciate it. i appreciate you standing up for me like that,” genya flushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “i mean you didn’t need to, and my brother would’ve probably killed you if they hadn’t held him back, but i appreciate the gesture.”

“that’s what friends are for, right?”

at that, genya looked at him with eyes wide in surprise. and a slight dusting of pink on his cheeks.

he never had friends before.

“r-right.” genya dismissed, looking away as tanjirou turned to look at him. “friends.”

tanjirou watched the tall boy meander back to the rock where he was practicing, wondering what all of the feelings in his chest meant as himejima bellows something about “rely on your inner core, my children.”

the last memory tanjirou has is the one where they were sitting on the roof of the wisteria house. mere hours before they were to face muzan.

the air was cool and crisp. the stars had just started to come out, as if waiting for a show. as if they had known what was to come. maybe they did. maybe they already knew what was to happen.

“is shinobu-san going to kill us for being here?” genya asked, sitting gingerly at the edge.

he was clad with his full battle attire; the olive green demon slayer uniform over the purple yukata, and his gun stashed tightly to his side.

for some reason, tanjirou stared at him for a second too long. his own sword was heavy at his waist and his lungs felt like they were working too slowly. what was happening to him? he shook his head slightly as if he could reorganize his thoughts by movement. in the back of his mind, he thought of nezuko who was in the care of zenitsu and inosuke. the reminder brought him relief, so he sighed and plopped down beside the tall boy.

“i think shinobu-san has bigger concerns tonight,” he said carefully, giving the onyx-haired boy a sidelong glance. “we all do.”

genya chuckles quietly at that. “i guess so.”

cicadas harmonized below them. the trees moved with the wind. tanjirou inched closer, pulling his knees up to his chest, and genya, ever so surprised, didn’t know what to do with his hands so he just wrung them in front of him. he was fidgeting.

nonetheless, there was something comfortable in silence. something tangibly real and pure.

tanjirou breathes out.

“remember that night back in the swordsmith village?”

“the one when we almost fuckin died?”

“yeah. that one.” tanjirou laughed. “i was going to tell you how i owed you for saving nezuko but you stopped me.”

genya’s eyes grew wide for a second, before he shook his head.

“that was nothing.” the taller boy was busying himself with wiping the nonexistent dust away from his gun.

“she’s everything to me.” tanjirou said matter-of-factly. “i could never repay you for what you did, but i’ve been trying ever since.”

genya just stared at him, finding the determination in his eyes somewhat uplifting. he couldn’t deny being fond of the boy. not now.

“is that why you picked a fight with my brother?” genya asked, grinning slightly. “and why you threw yourself in front of me when a demon tried to attack me?”

tanjirou’s cheeks flushed, before pouting. ”what if it is?”

genya chuckled at that, the sound something akin to music to tanjirou’s ears. it makes his nerves relax and his mind clear. “you could’ve gotten yourself killed, stupid.”

“maybe- maybe that’s what it takes.” tanjirou realized aloud. “my life.”

genya laughed again at what it incredulously implied but he was shocked to see that tanjirou didn’t find it any bit amusing. he really was the most stubborn person on the planet.

“a life for a life huh?” genya said, only half-heartedly. tanjirou looked so serious that he couldn’t help but indulge him. “okay, fine. the next time i need you to give your life up for me, i’ll tell you.”

he was joking, obviously, because who says that? nevertheless, tanjirou nodded once.

and genya had smiled. thought how it would be the last time that conversation ever arose. thought that the last thing on earth that would happen was tanjirou giving up his life for him.

and he was right. kind of.

a life for a life.

those words play in tanjirou’s head as he holds genya’s bloodied body in his hands. it repeats like a broken record as he wonders if it’s possible to give his life to someone who’s losing it too quickly. he’s shaking and shaking and shaking but he isn’t cold. out of the two of them, genya is the one who’s skin is starting to feel like ice.

“hey, genya- i’m here. it’s okay. you’re okay.” comes tanjirou’s hurried words. his eyes scan the boy’s body. blood is everywhere. he has to- he has to put pressure on the wounds to stop the bleeding but he doesn’t know where to start, doesn’t know how to fix him, so at a final attempt of comfort, he just hugs genya tightly.

tears stream down his face now as he thinks maybe if he can hold the boy long enough then he won’t slip away. maybe then, his life won’t cease.

genya opens his eyes slowly. he blinks as he realizes he’s in the arms of another person.

“t-tanjirou.” he coughs out. “i-i’m glad you’re here.”

“stay- stay with me, please.” tanjirou begs against the taller boy’s shoulder, loosening his hug as he begins to worry that he’s making everything worse. he tries to focus on the beating of genya’s chest, hoping that if he does, maybe he can prevent it from going out. maybe it won’t stop as long as he’s there to hear it. “your brother’s coming, he’s almost here— sanemi-san is on his way. you just have to stay awake.”

“i-i’m awake. i’m here.” genya unclasps himself from tanjirou, half-lidded eyes gazing at the crying boy. he grits his teeth despite the pain. “t-thank you. for everything.”

“you c-can thank me when we’re back at the butterfly estate, dumbass.” tanjirou shoots him watery glare which has genya surprised. “just shut up. you’re good. you’re going to make it.”

“w-who knew you would still be stubborn at a time like this,” genya smiles wobbly, breathing shallow. “t-this is okay. i’m fine with this. t-tell my brother— tell ‘nemi i’m sorry. and that i tried to protect him, i really did.”

“i won’t,” tanjirou grabs him by the collar of his shirt in the most gentle way a person could ever do it. genya feels how his body is becoming so heavy, he could barely stay upright. “y-you’re going to tell him that yourself, genya.”

and the onyx-haired boy laughs. the sound is heartbreaking and bright all at the same time. his hands shakingly come up to cup tanjirou’s face in his palms.

“thank you for caring about me,” he whispers, trembling. tanjirou tries his hardest not to sob. “i’m glad i met you.”

tanjirou shakes his head quickly. “no, no- you can’t say that like that—

“fuck, this hurts.” genya chuckles darkly as the blood seeps from the corner of his mouth, blinking quickly as he struggles to stay conscious. “but you’re here, so it’s okay. it’s o-okay. everything’s okay. this is okay.”

“genya, please—

that’s the last thing he hears before everything turns black.

 

 

the butterfly estate prides themselves with their amazing recovery program and their extremely fluffy beds. that, and their no-bullshit-taking young girls.

genya receives the blunt end of that latter one on the morning he finally wakes.

“drink this,” aoi thrusts the cup of greenish liquid into his hands the second he sits upright.

“uhm, where’s—

aoi pushes the cup to his lips and makes him drink it before he can get a word in edgewise. it tastes bitter but he swallows anyway. she immediately takes back the finished cup as genya clears his throat.

“can you tell me where—

“you’re in the butterfly estate, duh.”

“no, i meant, where is—

“everyone is mostly at the wisteria house.” aoi cuts him off yet again. “you’ve been out for 4 months.”

“is—

“is muzan dead? yes. welcome to the present.”

“wow, fuck. did my brother—

“stop swearing. he’s alive. he’s one of the lucky ones.” aoi looks at him sharply, then her eyes soften like she remembered something. “you’re lucky, too.”

genya blinks. “wait—

“i’m busy so i’m gonna have to leave you,” she says bluntly. then, when genya stays silent, she rolls his eyes. “well, aren’t you going to say anything?”

genya thinks for a moment, then says “thankyousomuch.”

and maybe he just imagines it, but there’s a ghost of a smile on her lips when she leaves.

his brother looks like he’s aged five years since the last time genya saw him. but it doesn’t matter. none of it matters in comparison to the relief that floods both their chests when they finally see each other again.

“you fuckin scared me, you idiot.” sanemi hugs him tightly, almost too tightly. perhaps genya can’t even breathe, let alone talk. but his brother is holding him like he doesn’t want to let go of genya ever again so he lets him be. genya isn’t really complaining either way.

“i tried to help—

“shut the fuck up.” sanemi cuts him off with a loving punch to the shoulder. “you know you didn’t have to. i was the one who was supposed to protect you, right?”

“i’m sorry.” genya says instead, averting his gaze in shame. “i didn’t mean the things i said back then. i understand now. i didn’t mean to hurt you.”

sanemi’s surprised at his sudden word vomit of apologies but nevertheless, he grabs genya by the shoulders and levels their gazes.

“you have nothing to be sorry for.” he says it undoubtedly as he stares into the eyes of his younger brother. he hesitates, then sighs. “we’re brothers. you have my back and i have yours. i trust you, genya.”

genya shakes sanemi’s grip away and steps back to look at him, mouth slightly open in awe and disbelief. he starts to think maybe he actually died and went to heaven because his big brother is just looking at him like he put the stars in the sky and frankly, he thinks he doesn’t deserve it.

but sanemi grins and comes close to pinch genya’s cheek, reminding him that it’s real. and he’s alive. and his brother doesn’t hate him and he won’t ever leave his side.

sanemi hums contentedly. “you did well, little brother.”

it’s the first time he sees his brother smile in years. genya smiles back.

another thing genya learns about the butterfly estate is that they are incredibly strict. realizes this when aoi still semi-force feeds the herbal concoction to him every morning, noon, and before bed, even though genya swears he feels completely healed. but he drinks the bitter liquid anyway because he doesn’t like upsetting aoi and also because he has nothing better to do.

he spends his recovery days in bed or in the fields or in the middle of the estate where he often helps the girls hang the laundry to dry, making use of his height one way or another.

most nights, he sits on the roof just watching the stars. and that’s where he is tonight.

somehow, he always finds himself thinking of a certain maroon-haired boy and the last memory he has of him. his watery eyes and his desperate voice. the thought makes his chest seize up as he wonders when he’ll see tanjirou again. people had told genya that the shorter boy went on a trip and wouldn’t be back for an undisclosed amount of time.

aoi let it slip one afternoon that giyuu made tanjirou leave because he had been cooping himself up in genya’s room for days on end, waiting for him to wake. even going as far as bringing nezuko with him. most of the details are blurry, some of the girls saying that even sanemi had to intervene at some point.

genya chuckles to himself at the image of tanjirou being manhandled by his big brother.

“what’s so funny?”

genya stills. that voice. he would know it anywhere. but how—

suddenly, tanjirou is holding genya’s shoulders and making him turn his head to face him. and for a second, everything is so him that genya holds his breath and wonders if he’s dreaming.

“tan—

he’s stopped by a hug.

“please don’t ever scare me like that again.” tanjirou whispers to his hair. “i thought i lost you.”

eventually, genya finds his voice.

“i won’t. i’m here to stay,” he chokes out, then jokes. “i have to because otherwise who else would be able to handle you and your stubbornness?”

tanjirou pulls away from the hug to push him away lightly, eyes tearing up and lips in a pout. genya’s eyes linger at the latter for a tad too long. hmm.

“i see you’re all healed up if you can joke like that again,” the shorter boy says with not a single ounce of bite. he looks like he’s hesitating before he blurts out: “i missed you.”

“i missed you too,” genya chuckles, looking up at the boy standing in front of him with glee. “i heard you were on your escapade. how kind of you to interrupt that and come visit me.”

“i turned around as soon as i heard the news, stupid.” tanjirou crosses his arms as he looks down at genya, relishing the one time he can actually be taller than him even though it’s just because genya is sitting. “i tried to get here as fast as i can.”

genya clears his throat this time, voice turning serious. “all jokes aside, thank you. for being here. for always being there.”

“of course.” tanjirou smiles at him, wide and bright. the tone of his voice is too familiar and genya already knows what he’s going to say next. “what are friends—

so he does the first thing he thinks of. which is to yank tanjirou down by the collar and silence the boy’s lips with his own. the kiss is short and sweet like tanjirou and all the best things in the world.

tanjirou looks at him dumbfoundedly surprised. and genya just grins.

“i think we’re a little more than friends, aren’t we?”

Notes:

i am going to die with this ship if it's the last thing i do.

scream at me abt kny @KATSUK1S