Work Text:
Walk These Old Roads With Me
Petals fell one by one from the flowers as the breeze gently shook them free. There was a particular one swirling in the air until he reached out his hand and allowed it to land in his palm.
He rubbed the soft petal between the pads of his fingers, marveling at the velvet texture it held and the rich deep red pigment of it. How this planet-his planet was able to create the extraordinary wonders of nature baffled him, but what confused him more was how he had never taken the time to savor the little things - to experience the beauty around him.
In truth, he'd done that to a lot of beautiful things in his life. Never took a breath and enjoyed the things right in front of him. And there was never a better time to change than the present.
"Mamoru!" Looking in the direction of the kind, familiar voice, a genuine smile stretched across Mamoru's face spotting the old straw hat coming down the row of flowers. "Is that you?"
"Katsumi," he greeted and the older man's face wrinkled up in a warm smile to him and it rushed him back to when him, Usagi, Chibiusa, and Hotartu had visited nearly two years ago, when that Rose Daimon attacked Katsumi and nearly stole his pure heart crystal. He remembered that day with a smile, spending his time with the two most important people in his life, even if it was ruined by a thorny monster.
"Chiba Mamoru," he said with a hearty bright smile.
Katsumi lightly swatted his shoulder. "Where have you been my friend?"
"I've been away..." he answered, a little more quietly. "For uh-school."
The botanist nodded his head, eyes lighting up. "Ah yes, yes, Usagi told me about your trip overseas."
At the mention of his "trip", a range of emotions shuddered through his body but what seemed to stick within him was confusion. "Usagi told you?"
"Yes, she came here often the past year," he explained, walking around Mamoru to retrieve an empty pot on the ground. "We would talk and she would help me with errands around the garden."
"Oh." A slight smile pulled at his lips, imagining the blonde hefting up bags of dirt or losing control of a hose.
"How long have you been back?"
"Two weeks," he replied, voice breaking just that bit. It had already been that long?
Katsumi laughed as he straightened. "Usagi must be thrilled you're back! She talked a lot about you while you were gone."
Mamoru found his gaze caught by a series of white floral in the front row, finding those knots forming in his stomach talking about what happened in his absence. "How's your family?" he asked, trying to drive the conversation somewhere else.
"Doing well," his friend answered, going over to water a few of the larger, leafy plants. "Had two more kids as well."
The tension snapped apart and with a sigh of relief, his body shook with a few chuckles. "Of course you did."
"What can I say, I love being a dad," he gushed, turning the hose on. "Best job I can have and family is everything."
A picture of two odangoed girls arguing swam into mind. "It is," he agreed.
"How are you and Usagi doing?" he asked, pushing his falling glasses up the length of his nose.
He sighed. "We're doing okay." 'I hope we're doing okay.' "Just getting used to being back after...such a long time."
Katsumi nodded, looking ahead as the spray fanned out over in a mist. "I understand, all relationships have moments of having to relearn how to be with someone again, how to be yourself again. Even my marriage has those."
Mamoru observed as plants and flowers were showered in water droplets, large leaves dripping wet and even a patch of wilting tulips received some sprinkles of water to make them flourish. "What do you do when that happens?" he asked, curious.
Switching the hose off, the dark-haired botanist shrugged his shoulders. "We take time for ourselves. Just the two of us and granted it's very hard when you have as many kids as we do but, we make it happen."
"Really?" Mamoru asked, following after him as he moved to a new row of flowers - roses this time.
"Yes," he answered. "With the person you love, once you see them, talk to them, you fall for them all over again."
He knew that feeling every time he laid eyes on Usagi, everytime he talked to her, thought of her. That spinning, falling, elated feeling filled him to the brim. "Take time for yourselves," Mamoru repeated slowly.
It had been a strange, odd feeling being dead. Though, this recent time had been different from deaths of princes in past lifetimes, sacrificing his life for the person he loved. This time it had been empty.
The death had stuck, made him completely hollow, useless, no afterlife to look down on-no, it had been empty and dark and lonely, with him calling out for help-for Usagi into a space of nothing even when it felt like he had no voice to call out with.
Months. He had missed months of his life, returned to a different world with new senshi, older friends, and a girlfriend with a sad smile he didn't want to know.
What would the past year have been like if he hadn't gone on that damn plane? He would have been there for her first days of high school, fought alongside her in battles, met the Starlights when they first came on the scene and Chibi Chibi, consoled her fears over the enemy.
Or maybe it was evitable he wouldn't be there for her. Galaxia would have eventually found him and his golden star seed so him leaving, not leaving - would it have mattered?
Would him and Usagi still be in this-this place where everything was different and yet the exact same.
Maybe that was what made him dive for his phone and dial her number and roll past greetings.
"Come with me."
"What?" came her slurred reply. He loved talking to her after one of her naps because of the adorable sleepy voice she had.
He took a deep breath in, and out. "Would you like to come with me on this-un this trip?"
There was a noticeable pause and he held in his next breathe. "A trip?"
"Actually it's more of a hiking trip-if you're okay with that of course."
"Hiking-wha-what are you talking about Mamo-chan?"
He licked his lips, searching for the perfect explanation, a smooth reply that could soothe her confusion and worries but he wasn't capable of anything but awkward, stuttering responses at the moment. "Ah-I thought a vacation would be a nice change and it would be fun to do and-and it would be perfect if we'd go together on one and uh…."
"Mamo-chan?"
'You're such an idiot,' his mind whispered to him as the palm of his hand repeatedly tapped against his forehead. This was completely out of the blue, much too impulsive and idiotic because he was idiotic, so freaking idiotic and didn't know how to be a normal human and talk-
"Ah-I would just love to spend some time with you…" It was the absolute truth, he wanted to have time with her, for them, just for a few days uninterrupted by phone calls, senshi, and school. There wasn't a handbook or support group for their trauma, the only support was themselves, to know things were different now and that they would find their way around again.
"You want to go on vacation?" she questioned, voice confused. "Together?"
He faltered a bit at her disbelieving tone but answered,"Yes."
What if she really didn't want to? She might be busy, have plans with the girls or her family, maybe something with school - or maybe she just didn't want to go with him. It was too weird for her to suddenly venture on a trip with him when everything was still new and raw. Were they that out of sync?
Oh god. He wanted to hang up, say that maybe they shouldn't because he had to go to this school event, excuse himself, say sorry for waking her up and that he was just being stupid-
"I would love to go Mamo-chan," she sung, voice light and exactly Usagi. "Come and kidnap me tomorrow at 9, 'kay?"
He chuckled, suddenly breathless. "Tomorrow-tomorrow absolutely, yes."
And being able to hear her smile on the other end made every strain or worry vanish within him.
Her laugh echoed through the phone. "Where are we going anyway?"
"The Kumano Kodo," he answered, flipping through the brochure Katsumi had given him.
He showed up to her house early in the morning, car loaded with his backpack that he strategically packed with hiking essentials, a duffel bag of his clothes and toiletries, and an extra duffel bag full of snacks and drinks just for her to go through as they traveled.
She practically ran from her door to him, bouncing up to her tiptoes to plant a quick kiss on his cheek before he could open the trunk.
Fumbling to put her pink duffel bag and backpack in the trunk next to his and the tote bag filled with food into the backseat, he searched for something to say and wanted to slap himself silly for being so nervous around Usagi, like he was an awkward sixteen-year-old again who kept calling her Odango Atama to get attention.
But he should have known better, should know her better than to think the silence would stay for long.
"Did you know Kumano Kodo has been traveled by people for more than 1,000 years?" she inquired as soon as his car door slammed, and he couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face.
"No, no I didn't," he lied, starting the car and feeling his mind go into an ease listening to her jubilant ramblings.
The trip took them four hours with the park and ride garage to get to the station, and then them having to weave through the train station to find the platform for their two-hour Shinkansen to Kyoto, then another two hours in a bus from Kyoto's train station down to the actual trails. During it all, Usagi became engrossed in reading web pages and pamphlets she had made her dad print out, flipping through pages filled with pictures and paragraphs of the trails, shrines, and legends surrounding the area of Kumano Kodo.
He couldn't really help teasing her about the intense concentration and sudden interest.
"This is actually interesting stuff!" she defended with a loud huff, making their aisle neighbor on the train turn with an annoyed look. "I don't hate learning, I hate learning boring stuff like math and english with books and word problems and homework."
"Are you sure it's not because of the pictures?" he asked, the smirk hitching higher up his mouth.
"No," she hissed, rolling her head. He stared at her, the smirk never missing a beat and she eventually gave in and deflated. "Well the pictures help….but look at how pretty that is!"
He chuckled as she leaned into his seat and hovered the colored, printed pictures of ancient shrines, lush, rolling mountains, towering trees with patches of grass, and waterfalls so mystical it was like a Kami itself was spilling down from the sky. Each image looked more breathtaking than the last.
"Told ya," Usagi chirped, cheeky smile a mile long.
He rolled his eyes, pushing the papers back to her as she resumed her reading of them as if they were one of her favorite mangas. He admired her for just a few seconds more before he returned to his newspaper.
Once they arrived in Kyoto, Usagi was finishing off her sixth onigiri while taking the initiative to directing them through the large station. They ended up going out one exit through a shopping mall - which ended up being the wrong way much to Usagi's frustration - and then down giant escalators. The view of Kyoto tower loomed outside as they tracked down their terminal for the bus.
The whole time of trailing after her as she pointed to directions with her half-eaten snack of choice, he would watch as she paused, turned around with a hopeless look on her face as she scanned the map of the station, take angry bites of her food when frustrated, ask numerous people for directions. It was amusing to see her reactions as they walked all over the place, but when she had finally finished off her snacks, the hand that wasn't occupied with holding the map would hang limply by her side, empty.
At one point, sitting down by the JR travel center, his hand began to itch as hers was laid out by her side, next to his. He wanted to slip his fingers into hers, squeeze her hand for assurance that she'll find the terminal, be by her side instead of following after her with longing looks.
They chased down buses screaming and laughing until they finally found their bus and got on. She barely got through another article about the Kumano Kodo when her eyelids slid closed and his heart exploded into a million fireworks when she let her head roll to his side and snuggle into his shoulder. The smell of her shampoo surrounded him and the silk of her hair glide across the skin of his neck and cheek.
He dreaded when he woke her up once they arrived, hated how much distance that was between them when they walked to their inn, missed how they used to walk in sync but didn't anymore, longed for the times when he wasn't so awkward around her, when he knew what to do.
It was a bit ironic that he would be pining after his own girlfriend, that he could long for someone who was a foot away from him, looking at him in a way that warmed him to the core.
After poking his wet head through the new shirt, a series of hard, fast knocks came from his door and halfway to it, the yells began with the second "Mamo-chan!" being cut off by him ripping the door open to Usagi's panicked look.
Mamoru didn't get the chance to speak first once his arms and chest were full of her body and streams of hair.
"Whe-where were you? Why didn't you pick up the phone? Are you okay?" Her nails bit through the thin material of his shirt and into his back while her voice vibrated through his chest.
He was taken back for a second at the shock of having her there even when he had seen her that morning, and his mind had a lapse in reaction while lost in her tight embrace, soft hair and body pressed against him.
"Why didn't you answer your phone?" she rushed out, breathing heavily as if she had sprinted all the way from Rei's to his building and used the stairs instead of the elevator.
He emerged from his bubble and stumbled for the answer. "I was-I was in the shower, I haven't checked my phone….."
The tension melted from her body, taking deep, steady breaths to calm herself. "Oh uh-I didn't…."
"I'm okay, I'm here," he consoled, lips finding the crown of her head. "Right here."
She stayed nestled in his chest and he didn't make any move to stop it. This could be his whole day, just having her close and snuggled up so tight that her presence was everywhere he turned.
"I'm...I'm sorry I overacted," she uttered softly, slowly retracting. "I got…."
A weight pressed into his chest that crushed his heart and he wanted to hold onto her tighter but pulled his arms reluctantly away as she took a small step back and to his sides.
She shook her head and offered up a broken smile and watery eyes she wiped at. "I just had to really tell you that the girls changed the meeting to tomorrow night instead of Wednesday night. You know since you're ba-back and they wanted to throw a get-together for all of us and….and sorry for dropping by for something so litt-"
"You know you can drop by anytime," he interrupted her softly, cupping her face and craving to stay close to her. "You can stay as long as you like, come as often as you want, you have a key…"
She snorted, thick and swallowed as she calmed the tears. "No, no you might be busy and I don't want to bust in-"
"Anytime you want," he repeated again. "I'll always be here."
Her glassy eyes reacted before anything else, lighting up in delight, relief, awe-love. "Okay."
"Come on slowpoke!"
Mamoru desperately tried to hide his harsh out-of-breath panting as he reached her spot, where another sudden photoshoot was occuring. He questioned how her phone hadn't run of battery or storage yet.
"You should totally stand right there and let me take a picture of you by those trees!"
He laughed, doing as told and stood still in place as a million camera shutter sounds went off.
At every new spot, they had a moment of taking it in, Usagi passionately describing everything while snapping enough photos and videos for an entire album, himself walking through and just taking their surroundings into memory - the humming cicadas, Usagi's sparkling eyes as she tugged on his jacket sleeve to point out something, the crisp, wet air, hushed sounds of nature coming from behind him, the serene endless views, the sunlight slipping past trees in rays, the moss-covered stones beneath their feet, a hazy glow of dew mist.
He inhaled every shred of it.
"Mamo-chan come on!" she called as she was always up the stairs while he lagged behind at the bottom.
"And you're-" he took in deep breaths before finishing "-not tired after nearly 200 stairs?"
"Nope," she chirped to him as he climbed up the last few stairs.
"How?" he yelped, voice slightly hoarse.
She shrugged, face falling a bit as she pulled on the straps of her backpack. "With all the battles before it kept me in shape. I guess superhero-ing gave me endurance?"
The knots in his stomach coiled and pulled tight. Battles, ones he wasn't there to support her. "Oh."
She seemed to shake her head and brighten again. "I also started playing softball!"
"Softball?" he repeated, arching an eyebrow as he followed her up the stairs.
"Yea!" she said. "It's actually pretty fun once I got used to it."
Usagi had always been athletic, not necessarily in technique but she was quick on her feet if her morning sprints to school were to show anything. However, he would have never thought of softball catching her interest among all other types of sports. "Why softball?"
"It's a pretty funny story but this upperclassmen girl challenged me to a softball game because of-" she stopped and pulled on her backpack straps tighter. "It's also a pretty long story so maybe later."
He was tempted to ask again but the nervous laugh that escaped her throat kept him from doing so.
After it seemed like the stairs were endless, they successfully reached the top where their eyes were greeted with the sight of Kumano Nachi Taisha shrine. Lines of tall torii gates with their red columns and black roofs opened to ornate structures that filled the large area with other hikers and visitors walking around along with miko priestesses attending to their shrine. The Shinto shrine itself was halfway up Nachi Mountain while two buddhist shrines with their golden treasures resided on the land near it.
It was serene and the picturesque of calmness.
They walked around, allowing his long legs the chance to stretch out the kinks and ache they held.
He was enjoying the simple experience of just observing the place until Usagi hopped up to one of the booths to buy two wooden plaques from one of the mikos, and then proceeded to drag him by the jacket sleeve to a little station where they could write down their wishes.
Uncapping his pen, he wondered what he could wish for. Glancing at her over his shoulder, Mamoru could barely keep in his chuckles at the sight of Usagi's tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrated on finding a wish to write down.
Looking back to his paper, he finally wrote something down.
"What did you wish for?" she asked later when they descended the stone steps.
He smirked at her. "Just new textbooks."
"Oh come on!"
He laughed as she began to list off way more useful wishes he could have done like ones that included food, manga, world peace, anime- "You suck at wishes Mamo-chan!"
Taking her lectures of wish etiquette, he realized that the wish he had written down was already coming true. 'Laughter and happiness.'
"How long is it?"
He swallowed the growing lump in his throat. "The initial offer is for one year, but there's a chance it could be extended further than that."
"Oh." Her face was unreadable as she scanned the acceptance letter in her hands. Usually, it was so easy to know what she was feeling, her eyes and expressions always betraying her words and he had grown to know her tells - twirling a strand of hair while nervous, a red blush across her cheeks when he makes her furious, biting her lip while keeping a secret - but she was completely still, unmoving on his couch and it scared him more than anything.
"I'm going to send my rejection response tomorrow morning," he said, turning to face his kitchen.
"Why?" came her immediate question.
They both knew his reason but he couldn't acknowledge it because he knew what would follow it. How could he give up such an opportunity because of her. If they had never met, if he never knew her, would he go then? Was she holding him back?
"It's too much of a hassle and I can enter in better programs here," he responded truthfully. "It's not worth the move." 'It's not worth leaving you.'
It wasn't a lie. There really were programs he could take here, close in the area and ones that didn't require him to move half-way around the world. He didn't want to take it, had only applied because one of his professors strongly recommended him and he never dreamed he would win it.
But he did. Even if now, he wished he didn't have the choice.
"But you should go," she countered. "This is huge for you. Getting accepted into a medical program in America."
He swiveled around to meet her gaze again. "It's not that huge-"
"They accepted you because of your work," she cut in, gesturing to the paper. "That's what it says in the letter. They liked your paper. They want you."
Her voice had encouragement in it for his sake, but the underlying was complete misery. She was telling him to go without putting up a fight or tears. And somehow this was more painful to go through.
She stood up from the couch. "You should go."
He trembled more and more as she came closer and wrapped her arms around him, laying her head on top of his rapidly beating heart. "It's a once in a lifetime chance."
He slipped his arms around her body and buried his face in her hair to stop her from seeing his glassy eyes. 'You're once in a lifetime.'
Another day brought another sight to see.
Usagi decided to round back to Nachi Mountain, needing to see the Nachi falls before they left. A million photos were snapped, then another million in the bamboo forests they walked through, then a series of hot springs, followed up by a thoroughly photographed waterfall.
As they began walking in the direction of their Inn, he examined the photos she took. The waterfalls looked magical with the wet mist of their streams puffing in the air, thick trunks of bamboo in perfect focus while the background behind it was blurred, the shots of intense steam coming from the hot springs that could be felt wafting off the phone's screen-
"That's enough!" She plucked the phone out of his hands. "Only getting a preview Mamo-chan."
He snorted, bumping his hip against hers.
"Oh my god I can't wait to send these to the girls!" she squealed, swiping through her pictures.
"How have the girls been?" he asked, proud of himself for contributing to conversation.
Usagi twirled her phone around mindlessly. "Good! We all joined clubs and sports so nowadays we're all busy with our own stuff."
"That's good," he commented. "Gives you guys more of a chance to get out, have your own lives and interests."
"That's true, but there's less time for fruit parlor dates now Mamo-chan!"
"Well what clubs are you taking?" It felt so wrong asking her these things in the first place, but this was progress in the right direction. He needed to know.
"I did manga club for a while but the clubs were more for the girls," she explained, jumping down two extra steps.
"I thought you were in softball?"
She snorted, digging the heel of her hiking boots into the stone step. "Well I got into softball because Seiya made me do it."
He hesitated with his next step. "Oh."
"But it was fun!" she added, skipping down another two steps.
"You two grew close," he stated, pushing down the uncomfortable, bubbling feeling.
She nodded. "Yea, I mean we all grew close, being senshi and friends."
"What else did you do?" he asked, throat unexpectedly tight.
"Oh god well there was this one time Makoto got invited to do a cooking show with Taiki and I ended up going on it too. But I kind of messed it up…" she said nervously.
"Really?"
"Yea! And you know for that softball game, I made the game winning catch!"
He should have been thrilled, over the moon. "That's amazing Usa."
"Oh my god, another time there was like these burglars going around the neighborhood and because I was scared to stay home alone, Seiya offered to stay over and then everyone came to my house, even Michiru and Haruka and we played cards-"
Everyone came over, everyone but him.
"Yea, and Minako had this whole phase where she was trying to become an idol so I took pictures of her and Seiya to make it look like they were dating or something…."
These were all the things he missed. She was catching him up on everything that had happened.
"...become their manager too! It was hilarious."
He shouldn't have to be playing catch-up. He should have been there.
But he had been dead. Galaxia had his star seed ripped out of him and left him to disappear into pieces of dust and space
"...Seiya took the keychain from me then!"
This was supposed to be helping him, letting them fall back into their rhythm, grow closer. Instead, he started feeling the distance - the awkwardness of not knowing and having to listen - again, now more than ever.
"...and for the school festival we did a cafe with costumes and everything."
Hearing every detail - how everyone did this, how Seiya had been there doing that, Minako had hatched up this scheme - it was torture to hear because they were her memories, ones he never will be apart of and it all boiled over for him. "I get it."
Her steps froze and she turned to him, and he must have let the emotions be unmasked for a second because her face dropped.
"Mamo-chan…."
"Come on," he attempted a smile but it ended up hurting him more, "We better get going."
In the morning, breakfast was eaten in almost silence, exceptions being Usagi attempting to engage in conversation about the hike for the day or the kind innkeeper talking to them. He, however, stayed silent as the day rolled by.
Walking down the trails this time was much more quiet but uncomfortably silent. He walked behind her, keeping a couple of steps in between them.
All the progress, all the hope he had that maybe they could pretend nothing had changed dwindled, and it was all his fault.
"Look," she pointed out at one point, "The butterflies."
A cluster of the winged insects flew by, their colors creating a beautiful vision.
He watched, nodded and began walking again without much thought other than that they've been reduced to small talk.
The dark clouds appeared almost out of nowhere and the first drops of rain that landed on their cheeks were quickly followed by buckets of it.
Even with their jackets and hoods, they were being soaked to the bone and so running through the heavy rain and deep mud puddles, they were able to find a wooden shelter on the trail with a roof just big enough to have at least one person fully covered from the rainstorm while the other had to keep one half of them out.
He had refused to go under it until she took the full space that covered her completely.
The rain pounded above them, rushing over the edge of the small shelter.
And with the trickling of water and various small animal noises, it was free of noise, light, business. Everything was still and the rain strangely became comforting to hear.
He stood the closest to her than he had been all day. Droplets slipped down her puffy, red jacket, and locks of loosened hair snuck their way out of her hood while she sniffled and took deep, calming breaths.
The rain wasn't going to let up anytime soon, and unless they wanted to take their chances in the rain down a trail they didn't know, they were stuck for the time being.
He could do it. He could talk about it and no time seemed better than now.
"So.." he was surprised it had actually came out. "What else did you do….with the girls...or Seiya…"
She didn't react to it. Barely a blink of acknowledgement and his blood ran cold waiting for her response. His mind tortured him with the worst possibilities - maybe something more had happened, maybe she realized destiny wasn't right, that they were a mistake. Jamming his wet fists into his pockets, he awaited for her words.
"I wrote you a letter everyday."
He blinked, taken back. "What?"
"I would write about my day, what I was doing, what I was wearing. I would tell you how the girls were doing…." her voice was thick but steady. "Everyday, I would write one."
His heart was hammering as the rain started to feel like needles against his skin, and he was shivering harder than before.
Everyday... she would write a letter to him? Every single day….
And he never got the chance to read any of them.
"You would write…." he croaked out. "Everyday?"
Her weak, sad shrug caused his stomach to drop. "I would call you everyday too. Even when I knew you wouldn't answer, I called to hear your voice on the answering machine."
Tugging her hood off, wet ringlets of hair framed her face and he could see her lip trembling this way. "In the beginning, I just figured you were really busy and didn't have the time to respond, but everyday I waited for a letter back. Then, I thought you forgot about me, and then I didn't want a letter anymore because I was scared what it would say."
"People would ask about you and I would make something up, I'd pretend that everything was alright but…" she blinked, staring ahead. "I wasn't okay. And I did break apart-I brokedown I…."
And this was it. What they needed, what he needed, and what should have been talked about before.
Her voice broke with the next words. "I never wanted you to go."
"I wanted to cry, scream - tell you to choose me, to stay here with me and I knew you would," she confessed, a tear cascading down her cheek, joining the rain droplets that had been able to land on her face. "I knew you would and I couldn't do that to you."
He would have stayed, he would have never looked at the acceptance letter, ripped it up into shreds the minute he got it and he would never look back.
"It was only for a year, and I could barely make it through the first weeks," she whispered, "I missed you so much."
"Usa…" The rain began pouring harder than before but he could still hear each word she said.
"I couldn't do it," she struggled to get the words out and he clenched his fists tighter. "I couldn't be alone."
He couldn't take it then.
"I shouldn't have gone," he said, "I didn't want to go."
She shook her head, wet waves of blonde moving in sync, still not looking at him. "No, no you had to go. It was-would have been an amazing experience-"
"I don't want to experience anything if you're not there."
She paused, blinking slowly as she finally turned to him and furrowed her eyebrows.
He slipped his shaking hands out of his jacket pockets, clasped them together and tried to hold on to one of the sentences that were being thrown at him in his mind. "I missed almost a whole year," his voice shook, breath frosting in front of him. "I missed so much because I wasn't here. I wasn't here for anything and I need to be filled in on the details and I wouldn't have to be if I had been here instead of flying half-way across the world."
He hadn't moved but now he was breathless and everything within him started to burn hot. "I love you-I love you so much."
"I don't want to miss one thing. I want you to move in with me, I want to spend every moment making you smile or laugh, I want to grow old with you - I want you there for every single moment and I want to be there for you every single moment."
She didn't say anything, just stared wide-eyed with wet strands sticking to her reddened cheeks.
"That ring was a promise for me to come back, to be with you-I promised I would come back and….."
He hands shook as small droplets hit them. "I didn't."
He never came back. He never read her letters. He never knew.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, and then did he realize how close she was now, how her hands were on his face, pushing tears off his cheeks. "I'm so sorry, I should have never…"
They barely noticed that the rain had completely stopped and sunlight bathed the wet, green foliage, making the water droplets glisten like little diamonds.
Stepping out of the bathroom, and massaging a towel into his wet hair, Mamoru spotted her sitting on the bed, running a brush through her loose hair. The pink long-sleeve was too big and stretched out at the neck, making it slip down and expose the skin of her shoulder.
He set the towel on his open, packed suitcase, reminding him of the fact it was their last night.
The bed springs squeaked as he slowly laid down, the slow hum of the air conditioning in his ears with the television on in the corner.
He felt the bed shift as she laid down, turned away from him, and pools of gold hair covering the sheets.
He almost let his eyes drift closed, thinking that tomorrow morning will bring more words but then she rolled over to his side, inching further up until their faces were perfectly aligned, nose to nose and two sets of blue eyes clashed. "We're going to be okay, right?"
"Yea, we're going to be okay," he whispered. They were, he knew they would, they could get to that place.
One of her hands found his chest, spread out on top of his heart, and the heat of her palm seeped through to his skin. There was a hesitation when she moved and her fingers found the side of his face instead.
She moved just slightly and his arm reached up to gently wrap around her wrist to keep her warm hand there against his cheek. His thumb stroked the skin on top of her hand while hers did the same to his face.
Her eyes stared into his endlessly, how they were so soft and passionate all at once.
When her thumb stopped, he felt his heart drop, already loosening his hand around her arm to let her retract it and go to bed. But she stayed there, staring and hand still planted there.
Finally she moved, her thumb instead finding his parted lips. And she only had to raise her head and lean forward those few inches until her own lips met his.
Her mouth was warm, slow against his stiff ones but when he found the ability to respond, he reveled in her small gasp that made him shudder. Each second was better than the last - how it built in intensity, how his hands had suddenly worked themselves into her hair and scalp, the little noises that were pulled from her throat - and it made his heart beat faster, made his mind a complete mess and his senses were filled with only her.
She pulled at his shirt and he moved forward, rolling them over and hovering above her while never breaking contact with her suddenly so frantic lips.
There was never a better place to be than this, here in the tiny hotel room with empty food containers crowding the nightstands, an explosion of clothes from her backpack in a corner, the dim glow of the muted television, the brush of her tongue inside of his mouth, her hands digging into his shoulders - he never wanted to leave.
"Don't stop," she begged, panting into his mouth.
And he didn't. He dove back into her mouth once her hands had nearly ripped his shirt off of him and flung it to the floor, and he pushed his hands under her large shirt, fingers tracing shapes into the hot, satin skin of her stomach.
"Usako," he murmured along her wet, pink, swollen lips.
"Please never stop-never," she gasped, and then growled the same words again later and again, until she was speechless and breathless against him.
He watched from the bathroom doorway as she spun long gold hair into a little ball that matched the one on the other side of her head, secured it with an elastic and fastened the pins into the base.
"So what I always made fun of was elastic bands and bobby pins?" he questioned, a smirk playing on his lips as she stuck her tongue out at him.
"I guess my little secret is out then," she remarked, finishing off the perfect bun.
He came up behind her, softly crushed her back against his chest and dropped his head to her shoulder, kissing the skin of her neck because he could and inhaling the sweet, fruity smell of her shampoo to the sound of her giggles and nothing could be a better morning than this.
Eventually, they cleaned and left their room, had one last breakfast, bid farewell to the innkeeper, and made their way to the bus stop with his backpack over his shoulder, her hand in his.
"I can't wait to go on our next trip!" she beamed, squeezing his hand.
'Next…' He blinked and both of his eyebrows raised at her words. "Next trip?"
"Of course!" she cheered, prying the paper out of her pocket. "I wrote down a whole bucket list of places during breakfast."
The said list was shoved into his hands and his eyes scanned down the length of the paper, each location counted off with a number and it included anything, from Arashiyama to Amsterdam, Kyoto to France, Tokyo Disneyland to all the disneylands in the world, the new restaurant down the street from the Crown to the beaches of Hawaii.
"Obviously we're not going to hit all of these right away! Especially the ones in different countries, those are for way later," she explained. "But maybe once every few months or so we could take a trip to a new place, together or maybe with the girls too."
The laughs bubbled through his chest and out his mouth as he continued to read the list, seeing how endless it was, how long it went - these were places she wanted to go with him. Take pictures, experience new adventures, create memories with him.
It shouldn't have affected him so much, shouldn't be so surprising but it was seeing all the places her mind had thought of.
She nervously flicked a stream of hair over her shoulder. "We have the time now, without some monster barging in and ruining stuff so I just figured..."
"Yes," he whispered, "This is-it's perfect Usako."
She paused, an adorable blush spreading on her face. "So you're okay to go to these places?"
"Yes," he answered, pulling her into a hug.
"I'll always be right there," he mumbled into her hair, and she hummed against his chest.
He brought the paper up to his eye-level again. "Even for AnimeJapan," he deadpanned.
Her body instantly grew rigid and her eyes blew up. "Come on Mamo-ch-"
He cut off his name with a press of his lips to hers, enjoying the way her eyes closed dreamily and her body softly collapsed against his again.
A soft, slow kiss that didn't hold any promises or reasons, it was just because.
Because he wanted to, because he could and he wasn't missing his chances again in life. Not anymore.
And it just came out so easily.
"What did you say?" she mumbled, retracting her lips just that distance where they still brushed against his.
He said it again, like it was the most natural thing to say. "Marry me."
She froze, looking up with very wide, bright eyes. "What?"
He slid his nose against hers, one hand slipping up to hold her face. "Marry me, Usako."