Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Max could hear excited whispers and giggling before he even walked into the kitchen the morning of November 18th, half asleep and ready for coffee. When his foster mothers saw him, they immediately stopped talking and waved at him with perfectly innocent smiles. Okay, what the fuck.

“You guys are being weirder than usual,” he said, yanking open the fridge to grab a juice.

“Facetious little--”

“Aster,” Victoria said warningly. “Remember,  Max can say and do whatever he wants today.”

Max closed the fridge and stared at them. While he liked the sound of that, it had to be a special occasion. Did someone else die? He thought with dark mirth. “What’s going on today?”

The two women exchanged looks, and then just stared at him. Max huffed, “Seriously, what’s--”

And then he remembered. First of all, he felt embarrassed that he forgot his own birthday, even though he had never really paid it attention before since neither of his parents did. But that sour feeling was promptly bulldozed by nervous excitement, and butterflies in his stomach. He was eleven years old and he was going to get to do regular birthday kid stuff. Presents, cake, the whole fucking shabang. For once, it was a day all about him.

“Don’t fill up on juice now, David and Gwen will be here any minute to pick you up.” Victoria warned him. “They’ve got a whole day planned for you! Starting with birthday breakfast at the pancake house.”

“A whole day,” Max repeated, reeling. That was...a lot. And if it was planned by David, it was going to be even more than a lot, it was going to be over the top. He wasn’t sure if he could handle it. He still wasn’t the best at the simple stuff like saying thank you for gifts and making his own decision on what he wanted to do when he was presented with the chance to choose. “What about you guys? Don’t you want to come?”

“We have a surprise for you later. It’s gonna take all day to get ready.” Aster explained, swinging around the corner into the hall to grab his shoes, coat and all the layers necessary. While it was sunny as all get out, it was windy and chilly enough to sting your cheeks once you stepped outside. “No,” Max deadpanned and stepped back from her. “I can bundle myself up, thanks.”

“You never do your scarf tight enough, hold still now.”

“No!”

He tried to make a break for it but just let out a strangled, animalistic scream of rage as she grabbed him, wrapped the scarf tight over his face two times and then yanked his hat down over his ears. He stood there, fuming as she jammed his coat sleeves on and as she zipped it up, he glared her in the eyes. You will pay for this humiliation one day, Aster, mark my words .

But he followed her out front to meet up with David as he struggled out of the drivers seat and shut it with his one hand, an overjoyed smile wide on his face as he hurried through the gate and up the steps. “Max! Happy birthday!”

He still had six weeks to go before a follow-up X-ray to see if he could get it off and even then, it might still be healing. With that in mind, Max reeled back in horror and shouted, “Not happening, you fucking moron!” at the same time Aster stepped between them to block David with a, “NO! ARM!” before David could scoop Max up into a hug, which was a two-handed activity.

Their combined efforts made him stop short sheepishly and look down like he just remembered the clunky cast. David settled for a one armed hug, enthusiasm not diminished in the slightest. “If you’re gonna be in counselor mode the whole time, just leave me here, thanks.” Max said, but he grinned up at David, not really meaning a word of it.

And David seemed to understand that, as he laughed it off and lead him down the steps. They waved goodbye to Aster and Vicky, who ran back into the house to get started on their surprise, and then Max got into his designated spot in the back seat. He noticed the passenger was empty, which seemed odd. “Isn’t Gwen still in town…? She-- said she’d be here.”

David turned around instantly with his best reassuring smile, “She is! She’s waiting to meet us somewhere after breakfast, the first surprise.”

“Oh,” Max sat back in his seat, relieved. “So it’s just us?”

“Well...no. Not quite. I hope it’s okay that Granda’s joining us for a little bit. He really, really wants to meet you and he got you a present!”

He sounds nervous, Max thought but he didn’t think it was about seeing his grandfather like it might have been before. And he’s really trying...shit. I don’t want him to worry. “Sounds fun,” Max said in his best upbeat voice, which really wasn’t much of a difference but it was enough to pacify David. Meeting a new adult always made Max anxious. It put him in a hyper vigilant mode that he didn’t care for at all, but this was different. He did want to meet this legendary person that raised David, and had been ready to go toe-to-toe with Sunil for a kid he had never met, just because David cared about that kid. About me . “Gimme,” he said, holding his hand out expectantly and David gave him the C.D case without looking. Such was their routine.

Max flipped through it, and found where he had left off. Their goal was to make their way through each one until he had heard the whole book, and it was like David had something from every era. Mostly the eighties, but he had things sectioned by ‘sound’. Pretty soon he was going to hit whatever the hell crooners were, but at the moment, it was still old timey rock.

He found a C.D with a vintage-y looking illustration of some wacky cat-faced humanoid with greaser hair, spontaneously labeled Stray Cats! Rock this Town! In bold font. Down in the corner written in graffiti like colorful permanent marker was an addition.

Dave, you seriously need to redefine your opinion of what rock and roll is. Because it’s dead-ass wrong. Said with love. I’ll start you on the beginner stuff.

L.B.

There’s those initials again , Max thought. Wonder who she was. He thumbed through a few more bands, finding more scrawled with some kind of artistic note of affectionate insults and even were simply just with hearts or something else cheesy. Holy shit, she gave him a lot of C.D’s. Like, half the case! He must’ve really liked her. Or she really liked him, some-fucking-how. “Hey, uh, David?”

“Yeeees?”

“Ew. Don’t answer inquiries like that again. Are you okay playing these?”

“Which ones? I shouldn’t have any with bad words.”

“No, the ones from L.B.”

David went silent and Max winced. He hated it when he did that. Every time a sore spot was hit, David was quiet for once because he was just trying to get his feet under him to answer. And that was only when it was really bad. “Sorry, I kind of forgot about those. I never play them anymore,” he recovered with a little laugh to lighten the mood. “But they’re good! You should pick one, it’s okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah! I want you to try new stuff, Max, that’s how you find what kind of music you like. And all of those are probably more up your alley, anyway.”

“If you say so,” Max was sure he was putting up a front but he was curious. He looked through them until he settled on one of a photograph of some guy about to whale his guitar on the stage floor with chains dangling from it, in black and white. Cool . He handed it to David, who glanced at it and laughed for real. “Yep, that checks out. The Clash’s greatest hits it is.”

When it started playing, it started with a pulsing array of guitar chords, soon joined by a reverberating up and down bass under-melody. Max sat forward a little bit. This was definitely more...intense? Than most of David’s music. It was definitely more ‘rock and roll’. He liked the voice, and the scratchy electric guitar. He almost wished he knew the lyrics so he could sing along under his breath.


David caught him tapping his hands on his knees to the beat, and smiled at him in the rear view mirror before he gradually turned up the volume and the bass rattled the car seats a bit. Not deafening, just right.

“Can you play that song again? I wanna learn the words,” Max shouted over it and David immediately backed it up to the same track. They listened to the same song on repeat until they pulled into the parking lot, and Max almost had the chorus down, David singing it along with him. Well, not singing. More yelling. Because Max couldn’t sing for shit, in his own opinion, but he couldn’t help it, he was having fun. They grinned at each other, half-dancing in their seats and exclaiming the lyrics together, just loud enough to hear themselves with the speakers blasting.

As it faded out, David turned it down, “Okay, okay, little boys gotta eat breakfast. We can put it on again when we leave.”

They got out of the car and David hurried him inside, always fussing about the cold air with his asthma that was down in the thirties as of recent.

David waved to the cook through the window and Max raised a hand in his own greeting, before they headed to their usual booth. It had a blue sparkly balloon tied to a weight on top of the table, and Max noticed right away someone was there.

First off, he was about as old as Max expected him to be but not at all frail. He was pretty sure that guy could huck him like a football, and David too, if he really wanted. He had tree-trunk arms, and he really doubted the cane leaning against his seat was necessary. He was almost kind of scary looking, with his sharp stormy grey eyes and the full beard and mustache. It made Max shudder a tiny bit. He didn’t like beards, since Sunil had one, but it was different. Kind of fluffier, more jolly and Mr. Smee like. But judging by how his hair was dark grey and paling white in places, he wasn’t a red head like his daughter or grandson.

They don’t look much alike, Max thought. Maybe the nose, I dunno .

He kept looking back and forth between David and the man, trying to spot a stronger resemblance but he heard the seat creak-- or was it the guy creaking? And realized ‘Granda’ was standing up. Was that what he was going to call him? He wasn’t sure he could. Max instinctively scooted behind David a little bit and dropped his gaze down to the floor.

“Morning, Granda!” David said cheerfully, but laid his hand on Max’s head to reassure him.

First of all, his grandfather’s voice was pretty deep and a little scratchy. At first, Max thought he could understand what he was saying because his accent was so strong, but then he realized he wasn’t speaking English. David then replied fluently in the same language. What the fuck? Am I in the Twilight zone?

“Yep, this is him.” David said proudly in English. “My bestest buddy in the world.”

Oh my god. Shut the fuck up, David! Max didn’t dare say it out loud, but felt his face heat up in embarrassment when the old man chuckled warmly. “I see that. It’s very nice t’meet ya, Max. I’m Adaire.”

“Hey,” he managed quietly.

“...Why don’t we sit?” David suggested, and the three of them gladly made their way into the booth. Max slid down to the end next to David, and noticed there was a small box on the table, but made sure not to stare or ask about it. He didn’t want to seem like the kind of kid that was purely focused on the gifts.

“So, what’d Davey tell ye about me?” Adaire asked, turning to him with his thick facial hair waggling with his words and the seemingly genetic Rowntree eye-twinkle.

Max looked up, alarmed to be put on the spot so soon. He expected him to at least ignore him for the first five minutes and talk to the other grown up present. “Uh...you’re a Scottish-Catholic hard ass and you’re good at baking.”

David choked on his orange juice, eyes wide and horrified, as his face turned red. “I-I didn’t say in those words precisely… ”

Adaire put his coffee down sharply and looked straight at David, jaw set tightly and brows slanted down in righteous fury. Max could swear that look made David shrink, literally. Uh oh, he thought. He didn’t want to actually start something, it was just reflex.

The tension was broken with Adaire broke into a snicker and looked back down at Max, “Lookit his face.”

David relaxed with a weary sigh. “Very funny. Ha ha.”

“Gotta keep ya on your toes.”

Relieved. So Adaire had a sense of humor and the type that Max could work with. Maybe this won’t be so bad . “So do you have any quality embarrassing stories about David?” Max asked, leaning back with a grin as he crossed his arms smugly.

“I’ll do ya one better.” Adaire said, and reached into his book bag and produced a bundle of photographs. David stood up in his seat, “Granda, NO!”

“It’s my birthday!” Max yanked him down by the arm. “Shut up and deal with it.”

“Kid’s gotcha there, poppet.”

By the end of breakfast, Max sufficiently liked Adaire. Seeing pictures of David dangling from a saddle stirrup at his age and knowing his grandfather stopped to get a camera before helping him made his morning, and they definitely shared a sense of humor. On top of that, Adaire talked to him at his level, meeting his wit and challenging it. It was one of the first truly enriching conversations Max had had in a while, and he was disappointed when it had to come to an end.

As they got ready to leave, Adaire tapped Max’s shoulder, “Oi, don’t forget your present.”

“Oh, shit, right!”

“Language,” David said, then shot his grandfather a disapproving look as he said, “Watch your damn mouth.” and Max snorted but he picked up the gift and ripped the blue wrapping off. It revealed a small cardboard box, so he popped the lid off to reveal the contents.

“Wait,” he heard David say quietly but Max didn’t hear him. No. Fucking. Way. This guy is my favorite now. David can take a hike!

Max picked up the object and carefully unfolded the blade. “A pocket knife?!” he asked, looking at Adaire excitedly, certain it was a trick because this definitely wasn’t David-approved.

“Yeah, Granda, a pocket knife?” David asked, a rare edge to his voice.

“It’s camping gear!” Adaire said.

“Yeah, David, for camping.” Max agreed, deciding to gang up on him now that he had the chance. He looked down at it to get a better look and realized the wood-finished handle was engraved with his name, and a paw print next to it. Bear print, Max realized. David must’ve given him the idea.

He turned it over to the other side and saw there was another engraving there, too. A dara knot, and four words, each in a different color. “What do these say?” he asked, showing it to David, who stopped his pouting long enough to read them. He leaned over and pointed at each word and first spoke the actual, before translating it.

White. “ Tròcair means mercy.”

Red. “ Misneachd for courage.”

Green. “ Dhachaigh is home.”

Gold. “And creideamh is faith.”

Max could swear he had seen these letters before and ran his thumb over the subtle etchings, trying to remember. As he stared at the knot, it clicked. “These’re on the quilt.”

“Aye, that’s the family motto. You keep in mind any time you carry that in your hand, boy.” Adaire said firmly and Max very nearly answered with a yessir before he pumped the brakes. “And listen to your da--” Adaire paused, “David.”

“Oh..kay?” Max said, and put the knife into his back pocket. He caught David’s eye and quickly added, “Thank you. I like it a lot, it’s really cool.”

“You’re very welcome. And if you ever want to come by the cabin, I can show ye how to whittle with it. Introduce you to the lady, too!”

“The lady?”

“Gormlaith. She’s a horse,” David said with a fond smile. “Granda just calls her that. But we can talk about that another time, we better get going or we’ll be late!”

“Late for what?” Max asked, but slipped out of the booth. They waved goodbye to Adaire, and he followed after him. “David! Late for what?”

“It’s. A. Surprise.” David said patiently.

Max groaned loudly but got into the back of the car. Despite how he wasn’t the biggest fan of being surprised (Correction: he hated it), he wasn’t feeling nearly as apprehensive as when the day had started. It was still strange to him, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to go nightmarishly wrong like it had on Halloween, but he was doing his best to let himself feel happy. Just don’t over think it, dumb ass, and you’ll be fine .

Boy, this sure brings back memories , David thought. His inner voice was chipper but he couldn’t shake the bittersweetness. He did his best to keep the eyes on the road, but he couldn’t stop himself from taking note of the empty passenger seat next to him. It was almost seven years ago now. L.B, as Max had coined it, erratically drumming the dashboard and door to the music and David laughing and warning, “Stop it, you’re distracting me!”

Not long after he was given this C.D, he finally let L.B convince him to sneak out to a real rock concert. Without Granda’s permission, at night, the whole cliche of a teenager tip toeing out the backdoor and trying to sneak back into bed before dawn and pretend like he totally wasn’t sleep deprived through all eight class periods the next day. 

He checked on Max in the rear view mirror, and his heart warmed to see him genuinely enjoying music. He knew he could get him there, if he just took the time and made the effort. It was just so wonderful to see him calm and smiling after all that had happened recently. If he managed to get his mind to a better place for just one day, David would consider it a success.

“Wait. Waitwaitwait.” he heard Max say, as they passed under a sign into the lot in front of the entrance, where three figures were waiting right on cue to go inside once the rest of the party was complete. “Wait!”

Max was unbuckling his seat belt in a hurry and David had barely parked before he was throwing open his door. “Oh, be careful!” David called after him, concerned when he tripped and probably hit his knee on the pavement but Max wasn’t slowed down one bit.

By the time David was able to get out and follow him, he was just in time to hear a little girl shriek “MAX!” and Neil’s cry of panic before the two of them were violently tackled to the ground. Gwen just stepped aside to avoid being pulled into the fray.

Now, a couple of months ago, David was sure Max would never be so openly happy to see his friends. But considering all that he had been through, he must have been missing them something awful, even more than before. He walked up, smiling as Nikki and Max disentangled themselves from each other on the ground and got up. Max pulled his scarf down to talk properly. “Holy shit, you guys are actually here?! I can’t believe it!”

“I just came for the free trip to the zoo.” Nikki declared, before she quickly added, “And also, I missed you guys.”

She pushed Max playfully and he shoved her in response with one hand, laughing until he broke off into a string of coughs. David was there in a heartbeat, hovering and searching his coat from his spare inhaler. “Uh oh! Put your scarf back on. Maybe it’s a little too cold for this to--”

“You really have asthma now?” Neil asked, “At this rate, you’re gonna be a bigger nerd than me.”

David handed Max his inhaler, who proceeded to chuck it and it bounced off of Neil’s forehead. “Max! Be nice to your friends! And treat your inhalers better, you need them.”

“Chill out, David, I’ve got mine,” he said with a notable breathlessness but true to his word, he pulled his own inhaler out of his backpack and puffed it once, while Gwen retrieved the spare and put it in her purse for safe keeping. “Okay, knock it off. If I’m going to put up with the three of you as a unit again, I have some ground rules, starting with the obvious one. Max isn’t really supposed to be running around in the cold because of, guess fucking what, his asthma. So Nikki,” she said and snapped her fingers to get Nikki to stop climbing up on a nearby decorative rock. “No rough housing, got it?”

“I’m not an invalid, I won’t die or whatever.” Max said, before fixing his scarf. At least he’s better about taking care of it .

“Not on my watch, you won’t. Two, there will be no heists for money, food or animals or anything else. We’re gonna walk around like a regular ass nuclear family and look at some cute critters in cages.”

“Wait, what?” Nikki looked up at David, her eyes guying wide in utter horror.

Aw, I missed this munchkin. She gets me . “They’re not in cages,” David clarified. “This zoo only has rescued animals, and lots of them are actually being rehabilitated to go back in the wild! I even volunteered here in high school and I know for sure they’re living the life.”

“Oh, okay.” She relaxed in relief. “I guess I won’t stage a prison-break, then.”

“THREE, it’s Max’s birthday. So have fun, and stay together.”

“I got one good hand left if anyone wants it,” David offered, and sure enough Neil and Max split off with Gwen in disgust. But Nikki happily accepted it and he had to speed walk to keep up with her energetic skipping. Gwen presented their tickets and they were let inside without a hitch. It wasn’t completely deserted, but the weather and time of year meant there were no lines and no big crowds.

Normally, David might have opted for something more indoors but he knew that all three of them could enjoy this activity and all three kids were rightly layered. Plus, lots of the exhibits had indoor viewings and were heated. This place brings back good memories, he thought as he glanced at the map board to make sure everything was where they remembered it. “So if we start at the Reptile Hut, we can go in a big circle and have lunch halfway through, and finish at the Ursidae Sanctuary.”

“Ursidae means--” Neil started, but Max cut him off. “It means bears, yeah, I know!”

David was proud Max was picking up scientific names, but he didn’t miss how both his friends looked at him and Max turned a little red and looked down after his outburst of blatant interest in something. “Just don’t be a fucking know-it-all, Neil.” he played it off.

“Sure, dude. I can turn it off for like...a day. But I’ll be saving everything I hold back for tomorrow.”

“You’re gonna be here tomorrow?”

“We’re having a sleepover, duh.” Nikki said. “Can we go see some snakes now?”
After that, Max looked a lot less put-out. Nikki abandoned holding David’s hand to run ahead with her friends, and as they started to get further away, David’s stomach flipped a little. “Kids, don’t--” he started but Gwen bumped her shoulder into his. “Let them, they won’t go far. They need the time together.”

“You aren’t vividly recalling every day of camp right now?”

“I am noting every fire extinguisher and emergency exit we pass, David.”

He smiled. He could do this without her, but he didn’t want to. And he was glad he wasn’t. So they walked side by side, keeping an eye on their trio that never got far enough away to look like they didn’t have an adult with them but could chat and look around without a care for their counselors invading. When indoors, Max loosened up his scarf and David could see his crooked, wolfish grin shining like Ursa Major and his eyes bright and carefree.

He just wished Max would be able to make friends at school, and could have this happiness when Neil and Nikki were away. “Breakfast went well,” David remarked, peeking into one of the dimly lit tanks in the false-rock wall of the exhibit. He could hear the echo of toads croaking and kids exclaiming, and the smell was interesting. The warm humidity was a relief from the cold, but would get old fast in their coats. “What is that thing?”

“Alligator lizard. Let’s catch up. They’re already looking at the snakes.”

“You don’t sound like you enjoyed breakfast all that much, you know.”

David squirmed his fingers in the cast, trying desperately not to think about how uncomfortable it was. It didn’t help that Max has written the word ‘ITCHY’ all over it. “I’m glad they get along.” That was the truth. “And I think maybe Granda could be good for Max, but I’m not too keen on the fact that he gave him a pocket knife for his birthday.”

“Oh my god,” Gwen snickered. “Did you let him keep it?”

“I couldn’t take away a birthday present! And he got it engraved and everything, it was actually pretty heartfelt and he even attached a lesson to it. Our clan motto. I think it was his way of saying he already considers Max part of the family.”

“So what’s wrong?”

David wilted. He didn’t want there to be something wrong, but he just couldn’t help how he felt. “I guess it just bugs me a little that, well...Max isn’t Scottish.”

“What?”

Darn. That sounds bad. David was quick to give context, “I mean that I’ve got all this family history and heritage to be proud of, and Granda has always made a big deal of it. He’s even taken me to compete in clan games and I have my own tartan wear! And I’d love to take Max to Scotland someday. But I’d like him to be proud of his own heritage, if he wants to be. He worked so hard to give his mother a Hindu service . I think it’s important to him to connect to that, even if he doesn’t realize it. I don’t want to force anything on him and...I don’t know how to even start. I don’t want to let him down.”

All over again, he felt the same anxiety and doubt that had threatened to overwhelm him for weeks. David took his phone out of his coat pocket and checked it, glancing through Aster’s messages.

[text: Aster] Truck loaded, moving out
[text: Aster] In the house, getting started. Won’t take long.

“Dude, you just have to ask the right questions and read the right stuff. You already know you’re in the pasty-white-guy bubble, and that’s a start in the right direction...Is that the only thing on your mind?” Gwen asked, nudging him along before they lost track of their charges.

He watched Max stand up on the bottom rung of the safety railing to get a proper look into the crocodile lagoon at the resident rescue, Stevie, honorably named after the famed Steve Irwin. She was an old lady that was transferred for a lazy retirement after an injury, and had been there since David was small. Luckily, there was netting and whatnot for kids like Max and Nikki that disregarded safety.

When David woke up this morning, Max had turned eleven years old and the transfer was final. He was his foster father. Nothing had changed yet, but he could feel the difference plain as day. He just had no idea how Max would take the news, he really truly didn’t know what to expect. “What if he doesn’t want to?” he asked quietly, terrified Max might overhear, even if it was impossible as they left the Reptile Hut and reentered the frigid outdoors. “He loves them, Gwen, and he’s been happier than I’ve ever seen. If he wants to stay with them, I won’t--”

“Stop it. Whatever happens will happen, but you’ll still be there for him. You won’t lose him.” Gwen laid her hand on his shoulder and he looked at her. She looked so sure of herself, and he wished he could feel the same way. Every second, he was terrified.

He hadn’t been this scared when he got lost in the forest for the first time or his first day away from home on his own, or even when Daniel had locked him in a bunker and promised in graphic detail how he would orchestrate his death when he came back. Not even that compared to now. Because if he was wrong and Max didn’t want to live with him after all, then he might ruin everything and his family would shrink for the third time again.

He wanted to be a dad so badly, but that dream had evolved into wanting to be Max’s dad and he didn’t know if he could cope with that dream being set aside, unfulfilled forever. All he wanted was to keep his promise to that kid.

David would never forget the night after they found Max, after all the evidence of what his father (if that man could even be called that) had done to him had been brought to light and Max just couldn’t cope with hiding the truth anymore. He could remember every break and hiccup in Max’s voice, “ David, I’m so fucking scared I’m gonna die if I go back .” and he never hugged David so tight. It wasn’t out of affection, it was terror and desperation for someone to help him.

“Hey, David!”

He perked up instantly, happy for a distraction, and broke into a short jog to catch up with the kids. They had gathered up at the entrance to another sanctuary and were clustered by the sign. “What the fuck does cervidae mean?” Max asked, his voice adorably muffled behind the knit fabric as he pointed up at it.

That I can answer. Something I can actually definitely do . David grinned at him, and pulled the door open, warm air rushing to meet them. “I’ll give you a hint. Shouldn’t be too hard if you paid attention in zoology camp!”

“I didn’t.”

He remained patient. “They have hooves.”

“Horses?” Nikki guessed.

“Nope, but close! I’ll give you another. The babies have spots.”

He watched Max think about it with a scowl until he closed his eyes with a huff. “Deer. It’s fucking deer, you guys. I was hoping for, like, a jaguar or something…”

“Feline,” Neil said snarkily. “They’re the feline family.”

“There are big cats here,” David interjected as diplomatically as he could, raising his hands in a calming gesture as Max started to ball his fists up for confrontation. “But they’re right before the Ursidae. Try to be quiet, you three. Even though these deer are raised in captivity, they may not like people noises and will hide away.”

They made their way along the walkway, which extended up and over the actual sanctuary, which was mostly a fenced in grove that the deer could roam freely but was parted in sections. David looked down and through the trees, and immediately spotted the veteran buck, fondly named Bellows, strutting slowly with his head high. “Psst,” he signaled and gestured for everyone to look.

“I don’t see anything,” Gwen said, and got a chorus of affirmations from Nikki and Neil.

But Max stepped closer and narrowed his eyes before he nodded. “Yeah, I see him. He’s cool.”

He spotted him in no time, David thought. He’s got a good eye...oh. Aster. Right .

“I still can’t see him,” Nikki pointed and Max sighed before he grabbed each from by the arm and yanked them over. “Just fucking watch my hand, okay? Start down at the rock. Follow it up to the cedar-- now right. See that lighter brown? That’s his antler.”

It took a moment, but they got there. They stared in awe as the animal moved further into their view and Nikki let out a thrilled giggle as Bellows suddenly let out a very loud call, and got one in response from a nearby friend. “That’s why they call him Bellows,” David chuckled. “He’s noisy. Come on, they’ve got a moose too.”

“Those things’ll fuck you up,” Neil said.

He’s not wrong . They made their way through, and with Max’s help, they were able to see at least a glimpse of every animal available, although the big horned sheep were always out in the open. Gwen managed to corral the three of them to the feeding station and got them to wait long enough until it opened. Most of the animals couldn’t be fed by people, since it was really only a ‘zoo’ to generate revenue to care for them. It was a sanctuary first and foremost, and the facility did its best to maintain healthy living habits.

But sheep were sheep. Even David got that. He retrieved the bucket of feed and held it as Gwen dispensed handfuls to Nikki and Neil, who was fretting about sanitizer. Max hung back against the wall of the yard, watching the shaggy animals make a beeline for them once they realized treats were afoot.

“You okay, Max?” David asked, walking over and leaning down.

Max shrugged lamely but didn’t say anything. David gave the bag a shake and held it out to him, “It’s just like giving Winnie a biscuit, but less slobbery.”

“...It’s just weird. Doing this kind of stuff. With them and you and today.” Max muttered, as he stared at the feed like it would have a viper hiding inside of it.

“Are you not having fun? We can go if you want.” David lowered himself down to one knee so he was eye to eye with the kid. He had learned it always made it easier for Max to hold eye contact.

“Leave? Hell no. This is great, I’m just…” Max faltered, and ground the heel of his shoe against the grass in frustration.

“A little overwhelmed?”

“Yeah.” he deflated. “Sorry. I know it’s stupid. I should just enjoy this shit. Like a normal kid.”

You have nothing to be sorry for, Max. David tried to think of what to say. He didn’t want to hug Max, even if he looked like he needed it, in front of his friends. He had a reputation and one of the worst things for Max was to feel embarrassed. So David kept a distance, and only set down the bed so he could bop Max on the nose, who jerked his head back and glared at him. “No pretending.” David said softly.

Max’s face softened. He looked at David for a while, until he finally nodded and picked up the burlap. “I’ll hold it, you can feed them. I’m okay watching.”

“Deal.”

By the end, Max did venture to hold out one handful and the look of wonder and utter disgust on his face was priceless as a sheep very ungracefully burrowed its muzzle into his palm to get at the goodies. “Gross,” he muttered, smiling anyway.

Once it was over, they stopped to wash their hands. It was a combined effort of David block her from running, Neil and Max holding her by each arm and Gwen doing the actual washing to get Nikki to cooperate, while she shouted, “Noooo, my protective layer!” but they managed. Teamwork at its finest .

They made their way through the next few attractions, but this time Max seemed keen on not going too far from David and Gwen. David didn’t miss his wary, paranoid glances around the thin crowds of people and how he definitely had his guard up. It was disheartening that even today and even when Max openly admitted to having fun, he wasn’t able to completely let go. David put his hand on Max’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze to reassure him, and get him to stop looking at every individual for a sign of danger. There’s no bad guys here, kiddo. And I won’t let anyone get you, not this time, not ever . “Almost ready for lunch?” he asked him, trying to redirect his thoughts.

“Is the food here safe?”

“Anything is safer than QM’s,” Neil chimed in. “And buffalo is environmentally friendly, so someone here with a brain must be making the menu.”

“A burger is a burger, let’s go.” Gwen pried Nikki away from the glass, where she had stared unblinkingly at the mountain lions the entire time in perfect contentment, whispering, “I want to live here.” as they tore into their own lunch and their cubs rolled around play fighting.

There was only one restaurant in the zoo, but it was more than decent. Hot dogs, burgers, fries and the like, and as Neil stated, made from buffalo as opposed to beef. It only had a few other families in, but it was easy to find a table for the five of them and Neil helped Gwen get their food. David sat patiently as Max passed a Sharpie to Nikki and she started doodling her rendition of a mountain lion on the space left on his cast. “Itchy. Heh. That’s funny.”

“I thought so,” Max smirked. 

While they tucked into their food, David obsessively looked at his phone again and tapped out an update request to Aster. Not very long after, he got a ping back.

[text: Aster] All good. His room is set up. Finishing touches. Any cute pictures for me yet?

David smiles and sent the only one he had managed to snag of Max feeding the sheep. It was a pretty good one, of him standing there with the widest eyes ever. That’s immortalized. 

He felt better knowing Aster was shadowing the whole operation, so he put his phone away and focused on finishing his food before he held up the party. Gwen helped them clear their trays, and David caught Max by his coat hood, “Not yet, let me fix your layers. I don’t want you getting a cough.”

Max grumbled low noises of discontentment but held still as David situated his collar and scarf. At least he wasn’t hitting anymore. 

“Wow, Max, you’ve really become a delicate flower.” 

“I’ll cut you, Neil.” Max said, producing his brand new pocket knife for dramatic effect and Neil jumped back. “Where the hell did you get that?!”

“David’s edgy grandpa. They must not be related, since he’s pretty cool.”

Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, in public, really? Max, you know better! But he wouldn’t lecture him today. “Put. It. Away.” David said firmly, looking around for judgemental parents ready to pounce. Thankfully, Max listened. “Keep it away, or I’ll make him return it and get you something else.”

“Definitely not related,” Nikki agreed. 

“You let David boss you around now?” Neil whispered to Max on the way out, but David could hear it plain as day. These kids are out of practice, he thought in amusement and pretended not to listen. 

“I let him think he does.” Max whispered back.

The zoo wasn’t all that big. All that was left was the aviary, and there was an interesting moment of all the raptors flying up to the nearest perch to investigate Nikki. “It’s a gift,” she shrugged with a proud smirk. Max was fascinated by the resident peregrine falcon, but the longer he and Neil looked at it, the more concerned they became as she waddled her way along the habitat floor. “Why isn’t she flying?” Neil asked.

“Artemis is an amputee. She lost her right wing. They had to amputate it after she got injured flying into a billboard.” David explained, just as she turned to clamber her way up a ladder with her talons and beak to aid her, revealing the missing limb to the kids.

“Jesus Christ , that’s depressing.” Max said, grimacing in sympathy. “Is she happy like that?”

“I’d say she’s the most spoiled bird of prey I’ve ever met,” David reassured him. “Because she can’t go back in the wild, the handlers are a lot more involved with her. She gets to play games and train daily, so she doesn’t lack for any enrichment. And she’s still very pretty, isn’t she?”

“Yeah,” the kids agreed, before finally making their way along. It was a pit stop to see the barn owls, and it was off to the best in show, just what Max had been waiting for. David could tell by how he kept having to slow down a little and let his friends catch up that he was struggling to appear stoic, but the prospect of real live bears he didn’t have to run from was nearly enough to make him act like an average ten year old boy in a zoo.

David really put Granda and his mother to the test on their stance on not using child leashes once he knew he was within sprinting distance of the wolves. He doubted Max would ever get that amped up, but it would be nice if he could feel comfortable showing he was excited about something. I can’t imagine his parents ever encouraged him to be excited about anything .

“Holy. Shit. They have polar bears?!” Max exclaimed, turning and pointing at the map of the sanctuary. “ And grizzlies?!”

“The grizzly just had cubs, too.” David said, and Max was gone through the doors in half of a heartbeat. His friends followed suit.

“Wow. He’s actually into this,” Gwen remarked, holding the door for David. A false cave tunnel descended down to where they could see the pools provided to the bears for swimming, the sound muffled in the solid and cramped interior. “This was a good idea, David. You were right.”

“I guess I know him pretty well at this point.” David said absently, turning the bend where he spotted their three pressed up against the glass among other children, the room flickering with blue light ripples from the motion of the water. There was a loud splsshhh! noise as a massive white bear plunged gracefully into the water and began paddling down after a ball, hundreds of bubbles streaming off of the heavy arctic coat.

“Yeah, you do. And it’s gonna go fine,” Gwen said, glancing at the gift shop. He noticed her eyeballing the rack of plushies, and he was on the same page. “Max trusts you. I mean, all those times his foster moms couldn’t get him to calm down or something, they didn’t call you because they were giving up. They did it because Max asked for you .”

David looked over at Max, who still hadn’t taken his eyes off the polar bear. He bet the three of them could stand there for hours watching it in awe, and still not get bored. “I never thought of it like that,” he said, which was true. He chalked it up to just more Max-Experience and it was technical knowledge on how that kid ticked, and once passed on to his foster moms, he was out of the equation.

“Yeah, because you’re a low self-esteemed idiot. Have a little faith, or whatever. This is one of those times you actually should be optimistic. Positivity plus Max…”

“Equals success,” he finished and she smiled at him. A knot in his stomach untied itself. “I hear you, Gwen, loud and clear.”

“Good. Hey! Gremlins! Let’s go see the babies before we run out of time!”

When they got to the grizzly habitat, this was apparently where all the other zoo-goers wanted to be as well. Neil could see over the other kids just fine, but Max and Nikki were stuck left out, waiting for a chance to move forward but the crowd was pretty impenetrable. “Aw, man,” Nikki mumbled and David didn’t miss the disappointed look on Max’s face.

He looked around at the other parents, and noticed at least three men (probably 5-10 years his seniors) with their young ones hoisted up on their shoulders above the throng. Moms, too. He looked over at Gwen and caught her eye, before nodding to them. Gwen followed his gaze and then nodded. “Nikki,.” she said, holding out her hands. Nikki hopped up, Gwen caught her and then placed her on her shoulders with ease.

Max stared up at them in jealousy, until he noticed David kneeling down. “You, too, little bear.”

“You can’t pick me up with one arm,” he argued half-heartedly.

“Sure I can. Up and over, before you miss it.”

It was a little more slow-going, but Max climbed onto his shoulders and nervously rested his arms on David’s head while the man secured his ankles and stood up. He heard Max make a small sound of panic and distrust, but David knew he wasn’t going to drop him. Just as they got upright, the mama bear came lumbering out with cubs in tow to have them get a drink from the pool. “Hey, one of them’s a runt.” Max said, pointing at the tinier one.

“Says the runt,” Nikki giggled and Neil snickered.

Max scowled at them, and went quiet. David knew his friends meant well, but they probably didn’t know better that Max was actually pretty self conscious of his size. He knew he was well behind his age group. In fact, Max had developed a bad habit of dwelling on all the things that made him stand apart from other kids. David tugged on his foot to get his attention, and Max looked down at him with an unimpressed expression. “What?”

“You’re a lot heavier than you were in summer.” And that was true. Max had leveled out into the high seventies, fluctuating into low eighties weight wise. Right where he was supposed to be. “Pretty soon, you’re gonna be too big for me to carry you around.”

The corner of Max’s mouth twitched into an almost-smile and he folded his arms on the top of David’s head and rested his chin on them. “I’m not too big yet .” he muttered.

At first, Max was a little confused as to why they were ending the day at David’s house and not his own. But he didn’t think very much of it. He spent half of his life there anyway, and he figured David probably had something else planned. Max wasn’t sure he was up for it; a day trekking around the zoo with his friends was pretty demanding, even though it had actually been incredibly fun. He stretched his mouth wide in a huge yawn, as he trudged up the steps with Neil and Nikki.

“What’re you gonna put us through now?” he asked David as he turned off the alarm, and the warning beep stopped shortly after he punched in the code.

“I’m hungryyyyy,” Nikki groaned, leaning heavily against Neil who stepped to the side to let her drop to the floor.

“Hi, hungry, I’m David.”

“Booo! Cursed!” Gwen said disapprovingly, “But we do have pizza and cake, Nikki, just hang on for a bit.”

“What kind of cake?” Max asked suspiciously.

“Chocolate with strawberry frosting.”

“...approved.”

They dumped all of their stuff in the living room, where David had pulled out the bed in the couch and set it up with blankets and pillows so all three of them could fit comfortably while they waited for the pizza to bake and they put the candles on the cake. “All in favor of Jurassic Park, say aye.” Max suggested, looking through Gwen’s approved movie pile.

“Aye,” his friends declared.

He was halfway through the movie, munching on pizza until he noticed Nikki was whispering something to Neil, who whispered back and he didn’t catch either of their words. The fuck are they up to?

The lights in the room suddenly clicked off and Max sat straight up in a panic. Anything unexpected, however mundane, put him on edge. But it wasn’t pitch black in the room, between the t.v and a warm orange glow. The pull-out bed squeaked loudly with Nikki’s excited bouncing and Max looked over to see Gwen carrying a two layer cake layered in lots of pink frosting and sporting eleven burning candles.

Everybody was looking at him and singing. Only David was on-key, and Neil sounded awful, but Max felt weirdly bashful, which wasn’t a word he ever used before. He couldn’t make eye contact with any of them as they cheerfully droned on.

Gwen sat down to hold the cake in front of him, not willing to set the tray on the bed while it there was still open flame. “Happy birthday dear Max,” David sang on, smiling so stupidly wide and pride. “Happy birthday to you!”

This is really all for me? Jesus. Suckers. Max thought in a daze, until Nikki gave him a nudge. “Make a wish! We can’t eat it until you do!”

“Oh, shit. That’s a thing?”

“Just think of something you want and blow out the candles, dude.” Neil encouraged him.

Max tried his best to think of something, anything. But for the first time in his life, he thought maybe he already had everything he wanted. He didn’t even believe in wishes, at least he didn’t use to.

He looked up at David, who just nodded at him encouragingly.

Max closed his eyes and just thought to himself, I wish we’ll be together next year for this , and blew out the candles before they melted down. He chanced a tiny smile at the scattered applause.

Gwen cut the cake and passed slices around, and they resumed the movie. Halfway through the sequel, David cleaned up their plates and turned the lights back off. “Okie dokie, campers, you can finish this one but then you gotta go to sleep. Don’t make me come downstairs to double check.”

“Menacing,” Gwen said sarcastically.

“Okay, David.” Max said absently, and noticed his friends giving him incredulous looks at his compliance. Max stumbled to save face, “Now can you fuck off already?”

He growled as David ruffled his hair but felt a little disappointed that was the most tucking-in he got. But it did feel nice to be having a legitimate sleep over, like a regular kid and it felt like he was back at camp, sharing a tent and coffee maker with Neil.

Max was halfway to dream land, nodding off to the flicker and hum of the T.V when something landed on his lap. He blinked hard and picked it up, paper crackling in his hands. “What’s this?” he asked quietly, just in case the counselors could hear.

“Open it!” Nikki replied.

“She wrapped it,” Neil explained.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” Max said, feeling over the misshapen ball. It had some weight to it, but he couldn’t make heads or tails of what it could be, so he just tore randomly at the wrapping until he started to find something at the center.

“It’s from both of us,” Neil said, and tossed a small box of film onto Max’s lap to accompany the fancy polaroid camera. Max kept turning it over in his hands, marveling at the complicated lens and additional buttons. It was certainly more professional than the little square kids’ beginner Victoria had gotten him. “No fucking way. How’d you guys afford this?”

“We split it between us,” Nikki scooted closer to Max until their sides were touching and locked an arm around his shoulders, dragging him into one her of vice-like hugs. “Try it out! It’s got batteries already.”

“S-sure, uh...Neil? You wanna be in it?”

“Do I have to smile?”

“Fuck no.”

But they all did. Max altered the settings, quickly figuring out how to set it up for a dark room and held up the camera, fixating on the square that would center their gaze into the image. The flash left them blinking and rubbing their eyes, but before long, it whirred and produced a square photograph that rapidly became clear and they were able to view it in the light of the T.V. “Hey, it turned out pretty good. If you guys got me a shitty camera, my first real birthday would’ve been ruined.”

“You’re still such a dick.”

“You can’t call me out, it’s my birthday, Neil.”

“I’ll just save it all for tomorrow...Hey. You had fun today for real, right? You weren’t faking it?”

Jesus, Max thought with a wince. If that was asked through their discord server, he might have been able to handle it but directly in person, with both of their eyes on him? It stripped away a layer of his armor. Max fiddled with the camera lens. “I wasn’t faking it…and I’m not lying. Seriously. I have a system, one lie a week and I’ve already had to cash it in.”

“Self improvement at its finest. Lying is a crucial survival skill anyway, giving it up altogether is just dumb.” Nikki said, grabbing the picture from him to ogle at it. “You’ve been super quiet lately, though. We didn’t say anything because we knew we would see you soon.”

“Sorry. Don’t mean to be.” He just couldn’t muster up a better, less clipped answer. He leaned forward to nudge the camera along the end of the bed until it rolled onto the coffee table that had been pushed way forward to make room. “I mean, with all the shit that’s happened— what would I even say? There’s nothing that applies and if I think about it for too long, I spiral into this fucked up place and I’m not going there right now. Today was a good day, first good one in a long ass time.”

His friends were silent. Max avoided their eyes until Neil awkwardly put an arm around him and patted his shoulder. They were his best friends in the whole world, the only he had ever had, but they never had reached the huggy stage. Even though Max felt a bit embarrassed and put off, he had missed Neil enough to not care. His chin wobbled and Max buried his face in his hands, choking back a pathetic noise. “ Shit.”

Nikki reaches across Neil to pat his leg energetically, but her voice was the gentlest he had ever heard it be. “If there’s anything we can do to help, you just gotta ask. We love you, dummy.”

“Yeah. Dummy.”

Max cracked a tiny smile. There was nothing they could really do. But it was the effort they were making that consoled him. He blinked his eyes dry and took a nice, deliberately slow breath to calm himself down. It worked. “Swear you’re not gonna make fun of me?”

They looked at each other and Nikki shrugged and Neil made a so-so gesture. That’s fair. Same, guys. “Just promise you’re not gonna leave me? I know that’s stupid, you can’t guarantee that but I just— hearing it would be good. After everything.”

Nothing lasts forever. Nobody can be saved. Everyone dies .

It was exhausting to constantly fight these lessons scarred into his body as much as his mind, and Max was feeling strained at best, self proclaimed fighter or not.

He hung his head and then his face burned with mortification as he was subjected to Neil’s attempt at a real hug with both arms, maximum effort, and Nikki elected to hold his hand since she was stuck too far away to contribute otherwise. Why. Does everyone. Need. To hug me. “Promise,” they said.

When he came down stairs bright and early, David found all three little ones soundly asleep. Max was curled up in a tight ball, as he was more often than not, with his head pressed against Neil’s shoulder and Nikki was sprawled across Neil’s legs on her stomach. Neil seemed to have fallen asleep accepting his fate, since that was what being the middle meant.

David admittedly did tip downstairs one time to check on them, and they had been similarly sandwiched together, snoring here and there. No nightmares from Max. It was such a relief that he made it through a whole night for the first time in so long. It seemed just as sleep began to get consistent for him, something happened to stir up his fears and it was like square one. But nothing like a good day to wear him out and his friends close by to cure it.

He set about making pancakes and the works, planning to have it ready by the time they were up. He was just setting the kettle to boil when a shuffling sound alerted him he wasn’t alone.

Max was rubbed his eyes and stumbling his way to his designated chair at the dining table. “Someone’s turning into an early riser,” David teased him and Max answered by dramatically dropping his head on the table. He picked it up once he had a plate of breakfast and a cup of coffee in front of him. Decaf, of course. “Thank you,” Max muttered drowsily, still slow to wake like usual.

“Mmhm. How’re you feeling? Sleep good?”

“Yeah.” Max sounded genuine. David checked his friends were still asleep before he started to run his hand over Max’s head to straighten out his bed-hair. Max really didn’t seem to mind being touched so much anymore. David was sure he even liked it, and he did have a few chats with his therapist for her input on the behavior change.

“ Children like Max tend to have one of two responses to affection from adults. They either perceive it as a threat because they don’t understand how to respond, and reject it altogether to maintain a sense of security. Or in some cases, they become over trusting and desperate to please in order to encourage it because they crave it. In Max’s case, I’d say he favored the first. But from your observations, I’d say he’s making a turn around. Keep offering it whenever you can, but never push a boundary if he sets one. ” she had told David, who stood there anxiously writing down notes like he was back in class again. 

She respected Max’s patient-doctor confidentiality where it mattered, but she had become an excellent resource for David when it came to how to help Max in the tricky spots. Suffice to say, he was sure her computer was going to start classifying his emails as spam.

“Gosh, I can’t believe how grown up you are now.” David marveled, “You’ve even gotten taller!”

Max scoffed, and answered after he finished the last bite of pancakes. “No, I haven’t.”

“You sure have! I’ll prove it. Clean up your dishes, and go grab Granda’s present.”

Max eyed him suspiciously, before he slowly stepped off the chair. He kept stealing glances at David, and scowled at his encouraging smile, as he rinsed his plate and put it in the dishwasher. It only took a moment to get the pocket knife out of his backpack. David waved from him to follow.

Together they tip toed past his still slumbering friends to the front foyer, and stopped in the archway. David eyed the carvings that dictated his height every year between when he could stand walk, until the last time his mother ever checked it. “C’mere,” he said, taking Max gently by the shoulders and guiding him to stand with his back against the pristine other side.

Max seemed to catch on and his eyes widened and he shrugged David’s hands off. “W-wait. You don’t have to do this.”

“Sure I don’t! But I’d love to.”

“It’s your mom’s house,” Max squirmed away, clearly troubled and David’s heart twinged. “Don’t mess it up for me.”

David had learned to expect that Max would probably not understand a gesture of love when one was handed to him. Any expression of I’m glad you’re here was a foreign language to the boy. David understood why Max thought that way. He had been told over and over since he could remember that he was a mistake and a bad kid until he cracked and rage and apathy took over because it was all he knew. But David would never stop trying to help Max understand what he really was. A blessing, and not a burden.

He knelt down in front of Max, who wasn’t even looking at him. “It’s not messing it up. And it’s our house now. You just watch, next year you’ll have grown again and we’ll get to make a memory of it. And the year after that, and the year after that , and we’ll always be able to look forward to it. It’s a family tradition.”

“If you even still want me around,” Max said darkly.

“I will.” David replied without hesitation. “Always. So you better help me get this done, because I’ll do it with your friends watching, don’t you test me.”

The corner of Max’s mouth twitched, and he shook it off before it could blossom into a smile. “Fine! If you’re gonna be an asshole about it!” he snapped.

He let David plant him in place again and held perfectly still, almost like he was holding his breath, as David flattened his hair down and marked the wood right where the top of his head reached. He took his time to etch the figures in.

M A X 11 YRS 11/19/16

As the pull out bed creaked, signaling Neil and/or Nikki was awake, Max didn’t stick around to admire it any longer in silence. He bailed to avoid being seen doing so, but David was satisfied with the outcome.

It was only an hour after breakfast before two cars were rolling up to the front of the house. Tearful goodbyes were shared but not admitted, as David helped pack the kids luggage into the cars for their parents and the kids hugged each other one more time. It was only a little over a month before they might get a chance to see each other for the holidays, but it wasn’t soon enough for Max, David could tell.

He just hoped that once Max was in school that he might make some more friends. Dogs and family were wonderful, but friends weren’t something that could be substituted.

“Alright, I’m ready to go home.” Max sighed, shoving his hands into his coat pockets once the cars had disappeared at the end of the road.

Gwen elbowed David, who was panicking all over again. His heartbeat quickened, his hands were shaky and he was forgetting how to swallow or blink. When had he ever been this nervous? First boxing tournament? First high school solo? Leaving for France alone? No, none of those even compared. Max looked up at him and demanded, “When are Aster and Vicky getting me? They said they had a surprise.”

“They left the surprise here.” Gwen interjected smoothly. “David can show you.”

“Oh,” Max said, surprised. “Where is it?”

They both looked at David. All eyes on him.

Think positive.

David gathered up all of his anxiety, doubts and fears into a ball and shoved it into the back of his mind in a box, slammed the lid shut and locked it. He donned his best smile to hide any trace of worry from Max and swung the door open to let him back into the house, “Let’s go, Max! It’s upstairs!”

Gwen lingered in the living room, and even though he wished she was there to help him broker this news, he understood this was something he had to do one-on-one. They trudged up the stairs and David carefully opened the door to Max’s room, revealing all his former foster moms had done while they were out. Every piece of his belongings was nestled in its place, and the room that had been spare with just a few decorations and bare essentials had been transformed. Mr. Honeynuts sat waiting on his bed, along with the quilt and his pajamas for that night. All his books were on the shelf, his keyboard (a gift from Gwen, a big bright blue ribbon still stuck on the top of it) was set up on a stand in the corner, his bulletin board of pictures and notes and more hung up over his desk that had been lugged up the stairs. Everything. They hauled it all and moved it in on their own.

David watched Max slowly step into the room, seeing how the wheels were turning in his head. “I might have fibbed a little last summer,” David began, finally letting out a half-lie he had been holding in for months.

He closed the door, showing Max’s half of the spirit stick was dangling from it. When David turned back, he flinched. Max was looking straight at him, his piercing eyes burrowing right into his soul, knowing he had been lied to. And Max hated being lied to. “What the fuck did you do, David?” he said, his voice so soft yet sharp with venom.

Angry is normal. That’s Max. Don’t react . He thought timidly, as he made his way closer to Max and knelt down in front of him. “I asked Aster to foster you,” he confessed, a weight off his chest. “I know I acted like I was surprised she was doing it—”

“Hold on. They didn’t pick me?”

He didn’t miss the hurt in Max’s voice and David desperately back pedaled. “It was their choice to do it, and they love you, don’t you think for a minute they don’t.” he said, reaching out to Max but the boy just jerked away from him, perceiving it as an offensive action. David tried his best not to show he noticed, and continued to let out the truth. “You were assigned to a family in Utah originally. I panicked, Max, I was so scared you would be sent far away and then you were going to be. I promised to be there for you but if you were across state lines, I might not be able to get there soon enough if you needed me or...”

“Or I’d get lost in the system,” Max said, his tone as bitter as it was horrified. “So you called in a favor from your mommy the police chief?”

“She’s not my mom,” reflex . “But yes. I did. I knew she could stop you from being sent away, I didn’t expect her to suggest fostering you but when she did, I asked her to go through with it and keep you until I could get licensed to do it myself. It was a lot of work, I had to prove I had the income and I had to be background checked and I needed a good place for you to live and...well, now I’ve got one.”

He gestured to the room around them, but he meant the whole house and Max followed his hand, taking in the space a second time. He watched the boy notice what David had set up on the ceiling, but they could get to that. “It was always the plan. I didn’t tell you because I was afraid something might go wrong, that my license wouldn’t go through or the paperwork would get messed up but it didn’t. Everything worked out. You— you get to stay with me, Max.”

Now he really couldn’t help from smiling. Max’s head snapped back around to focus on him completely, like he was just finally understanding what was going on. “What the hell did you just say?” he demanded, not an accusation but a genuine question.

“You’re staying with me,” David repeated, wary but hopeful. “If that’s what you want. If you would rather stay with Aster and Vicky, they’ll adopt you and nothing has to change.”

“What if I do?”

David felt like a bone was breaking again, somewhere inside. The pain was that sharp. But he kept his voice gentle, because he saw the fear and hesitation on the child’s face, like he expected retribution. You never have to be afraid of me, Max, you’ll see . “I just want you to be happy, kiddo. We’ll still be family, wherever you are, and I could never be mad at you for choosing the best thing for yourself.”

“Can I, uh, be alone for a minute?” Max asked, every word halting and unsure. David almost preferred him to start yelling or something, but this was just worrying. It wasn’t like him to avoid confrontation, if that was what he perceived this to be. But David just nodded and backed off. “Sure. I’ll come check on you when lunch is ready.”

After David was gone, Max sat down on the bed to collect his thoughts.

He doesn’t really want to do this , he thought as he picked up his teddy bear and looked into its eyes. “What do you think?” he asked numbly. “Is he gonna change his mind and give up in a month? It’d be the smart thing.”

Mr. Honeynut’s head drooped slightly to the side, and the light caught on the planes of his face in a way that made it seem like he was raising an eyebrow.

“True. It’s David. Smart isn’t really his first motivator.” he agreed, shifting and the bear seemed to nod with the motion. Max knew it was ridiculous to think David was somehow just playing an elaborate joke on him. Since day one, the fact that David really did care was as infuriating as it had been reassuring. It wasn’t as though there weren’t grown ups before him. Teachers and neighbors that showed fleeting concern, but it stopped when it actually came to making an effort to do something.

Max knew grown ups before David and Gwen saw something was wrong, and said nothing. They could have helped. But nobody did until the two of them. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t the easy thing to do, it was the right thing.

When David could have washed his hands of the bratty little arsonist that put him through hell on earth, he stuck around to make sure he was alright and because he wanted to be there. He did more than that. He came running at his beck and call whenever something was up. When Max had humiliating meltdowns at the doctor’s office because all he saw was an incoming needle and he couldn’t do it, David helped He was there to call in the middle of the night just to hear someone ground him back to reality when he woke up choking on his own breath from memories of them hurting him. He saw from the get go his clothes were old and didn’t fit, so he bought him new ones with his own money.

The first time Max truly realized he might have a chance, that there was a slim possibility that he wouldn’t have to go back to his parents, he couldn’t imagine staying with anyone else except David or Gwen. He didn’t feel safe with any other adults. He didn’t trust any others.

And when he found out David couldn’t foster him even if he wanted to, Max had been crushed and terrified at the reality that he was going to be with more strange adults he didn’t know. He couldn’t be sure if he was safe or if they would even grow to like him like David and Gwen miraculously did.

But it turned out from the get-go, they were never really strangers. They were just…extended family?

He was honestly just impressed David was able to contain all the secrecy for this long. I didn’t know he had it in him .

He laid down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling, noticing the glow-in-the-dark stars that had been arranged in familiar shapes, modeled after the night sky. He didn’t miss every personal detail, how every color was one he liked and all his belongings were accounted for and carefully placed, and it was all arranged similarly to his old room. Every step David took was an effort to show he cared, and to help Max feel safe.

What had Max ever done in return?

He’s a good person. He deserves a good kid , he thought mournfully as he curled up on the bed and dragged the quilt up over his head to hide entirely. Fucking idiot .

Max jolted as there was knocking on the door and he poked his head out. “S’open,” he said.

David opened it a crack, holding a plate of lunch and looking rather plaintive. “Doing okay?” he asked, the concern plain as day. “Were you trying to nap?”

“No.” Max deadpanned, and sat up. “I’m...not doing that too much. Don’t worry.”

“Oh, okay.” David looked relieved and walked into the room to set the plate down on the nightstand. He took a moment before the mattress shifted under his weight while he sat down, looking down at his hands as he fidgeted with the faded scars on his knuckles. “Max, I know that this is weird...And maybe I’m not your favorite person, but you’re mine. So if you’re thinking I’m doing this out of pity or something, I’m not. I want to give you a good home where you can be happy and feel safe. You got off the bus last summer and changed everything for me. You’re the best part of my life.”

“Jesus. That’s a depressingly low standard.” he tried to make it sound like he was joking but he shrank back at the appalled look David gave him. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I get it. You grew up hearing you were...all those terrible things they said. It would be hard even for me to think or say nice things about myself after all that.”

Max fiddled with his teddy bear’s ear, until he remembered he was eleven and set it aside. “I’m just scared something is gonna happen to you again. Or Gwen, or anyone else. My dad did it once, he can—”

“That man is not your dad.”

Max went silent. It was rare to hear David angry, and it always sent a chill through him. David picked Mr. Honeynuts up and set him right back down on Max’s lap, his expression firm but not dark. “Dads are supposed to love you, protect you and teach you the important things. They’re supposed to be there, and to put you first. He helped bring you into this world, but that does not make him a dad. Sunil Purohit, and Peter Norstrom, can go drive into a lake for all I care. They aren’t our family. We’re family. Us, Gwen, Aster and Vicky and Granda too.”

From context, Max could gather Peter Norstrom was probably David’s father. He did know his first name was Peter at least, from passing mentions by Aster. Max chewed the inside of his cheek, trying his hardest to keep a straight face. He always felt cursed by sharing blood with the person he feared and hated most.

But in one fell swoop, David rendered that curse void. Max stared at the scars on his hands, trying to imagine how it was possible someone like him could bear marks from violence and then he had an epiphany. David’s a fighter, too.

He remembered Aster telling him with the proudest smile, “You’re just like Davey, and nothing like Sunil in all the best ways.”

“Does this mean I have to go to camp every summer until I’m eighteen?” Max asked dryly.

David’s serious demeanor traded out instantly for a brilliant smile. “You betcha! And we can even get you on the junior counselor program!”

“Aw, fuck…”

“Language.”

“Eat a—” he stopped himself before he got too far. “Okay, but what happens when you’re gonna be gone all freaking day at work?”

“You’ll be coming with me. There’s something called FMLA, Federal Family and Medical Leave act. I’m allowed to take leave from work after fostering or adopting a child to get acclimated, so we got lots of time before I have to go back. And when I do, you’ll be a student in that program I told you about. We’ll wake up together and come home together but if I’m ever not around, you’ll be with Vicky or Aster.”

It was reassuring he’d still get to see them, at least. Max tried to think of any other hole in the grand scheme but he was just drawing a blank. David nudged his foot gently, “So...you want to stay, then?”

Max flickered his gaze up to David’s twinkly eyes and he huffed. “Yeah,” he said, so quiet he barely heard it himself.

Before he could stop it, David leaned over and locked him into a bear hug, exclaiming with all the grating joy he was known for, “Oh, Max, I promise I’ll be the best foster dad ever! You just wait and see! It’s going to be so much fun!”

“Where’s my knife,” he muttered into David’s shirt.

“Ten more seconds,” David negotiated patiently.

“I’m not going to call you dad.”

“I wasn’t going to ask you to. But can I tell people you’re my kid?”

He thought about it. In the end, he’d rather be associated with David than...the other option. “Nobody I know, and if you ever breathe a word at camp, I’ll set the whole place on fire.”

He was able to wriggle free after the ten seconds ran out and he kicked at David half-heartedly under the blanket to get off the bed and let him each his lunch in peace.