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The sad truth of Wei Wuxian’s current existence was that he was simply unable to leave. That first time on the mountain, when he turned around upon hearing his name, Lan Zhan did not ask him to stay. He just asked him to go to dinner with him. That he returned to Cloud Recesses after was never a thing Lan Zhan proposed to him, he just followed after him back into the Jingshi. They tried to say goodbye after this a few times and it never worked. Once, Wei Ying decided maybe it would be easier for them if they didn’t say anything, so he snuck out at night leaving a note. He lasted two weeks, then he met Sizhui and Wen Ning on their way back from Burial Mounds, and decided to accompany them. He was supposed to not even enter Cloud Recesses, but the moment he heard the familiar melody calling to him, he couldn’t move in any other direction than towards it. Wen Ning was the only one who left. Wei Ying decided to stop lying to himself.
That is why he was positively livid when Lan Zhan informed him he would be leaving for Lotus Pier, and that it was better Wei Ying stayed behind, to not anger Jiang Cheng. He also said he might be gone a month. He wanted to implore Lan Zhan to stay, unreasonably unwilling to let him go anywhere alone, especially to Lotus Pier. Lan Zhan often had to go to meetings with other clan leaders, but he never left Wei Wuxian alone before.
A month. How was he supposed to stay without him a month? It was a strange notion, he lived most of his life without the other, and yet now it seemed impossible. And he couldn’t even hug him goodbye, because he wasn’t sure he was welcome to. This situation between them confused him and worried him more. Before all this, before his death, he could try to jokingly hug Lan Zhan, and Lan Zhan would definitely not let him, which made things so much easier. Now the fact that he wouldn’t want to do it jokingly, and that Lan Zhan would reject it, or that he could possibly welcome it, made him too uncertain to try. So he just nodded his head goodbye and saw the two jades of Gusu leave him behind with a bunch of juniors and Lan Quiren, who still barely tolerated his presence.
It wasn’t even the worst part of his week. When he was walking back from teaching the Lan ducklings, accompanied by Sizhui, he heard Lan Jingyi discussing loudly with other students, and the topic was not one he appreciated.
“So have you heard about her too?” One student snickered.
“About who?” Jingyi sounded irritated.
“San Chunhua. I heard she’s the best sword wilder in the Jiang clan.”
Wei Wuxian stopped in his tracks. He remembered her, as she was quite closely related to the main family, but she was barely a teenager when he last saw her. Now, she would be above twenty. She did seem to be a promising fighter when younger.
“Oh, so you think –“ the third student cut in excitedly.
“What else! Don’t you think that Hanguang Jun’s sudden trip to Yunmeng seems fishy? And he even took his brother! It must be official business.”
“But Hanguang Jun never seemed to be interested in marriage before.”
“Stupid! Who before showed promise to be able to take him down! And anyway, now that he is the Chief Cultivator the clans will want to marry him off.”
Wei Wuxian heard ringing in his ears.
“A-Yuan” he turned to the young Lan “what are they talking about?”
Sizhui looked at him with a very understanding, very worried expression.
“All of the Lan’s have heard before that Hanguang Jun promised to only consider a spouse who is able to win a sword fight with him. Ah, but I’m sure that’s not why he –“
Sizhui stopped when they heard Jingyi mention Wei Ying.
“Don’t be daft! Hanguang Jun has Senior Wei!”
“What do you mean? They’re both men.”
“It’s not like it’s forbidden in Cloud Recesses. We heard of such cases before. And they do live together.”
“Do you really believe Hanguang Jun would allow any impropriety before marriage? If he were willing, they would be married already.” The first speaker bristled.
“Doesn’t Senior Wei have to win a sword fight with him first?”
“I never saw them dueling. Senior Wei doesn’t even carry a sword. I’m telling you, they’re just friends!”
“But Hanguang Jun stood on his side when no one else would!” Jingyi protested.
“He’s loyal! Aren’t great friendships like this?”
Wei Ying couldn’t listen to it anymore. He left, ignoring A-Yuan’s worried expression.
A sword fight? Of course, Lan Zhan had to demand an impossible thing.
&&&
Jiang Cheng disliked great many things. Among them was the man who was now sitting before him.
“You want me to do what?”
“Your sister’s soup. I want to make it for Wei Ying.”
He always thought Wei Wuxian had no shame, but this one was just as bad.
“Even if anyone knew my sister’s recipe, and they don’t, I would not have given it to you in a thousand years, ‘your Excellency’.” He sneered.
It must be said about Lan Wangji, that man was unmovable.
“I want to recreate it. I need someone who knows how it tasted to help.”
Not even so much as a ‘please’. Really, no shame or manners at all. They were perfect for each other.
“Listen, what reason do I have to help you two idiots get together?” Now, at least, Hanguang Jun’s face showed some emotion. Jiang Cheng was hoping more for embarrassment, but he was going to take annoyance “Is soup really the only seduction technique you can count on?” He smirked as Lan Wangji’s ire increased.
His smile fell somewhat when he remembered how his sister tried to get Jin Zixuan’s attention in a very similar way. Really, he never thought he would see a resemblance between those two, but they were both way too kind to his stupid brother.
“Clan Leader Jiang.” A pleasant voice came from the side, and Jiang Cheng was reminded that he had a harder enemy to face today. If anyone was going to make an unreasonable thing sound reasonable it was going to be Zewu Jun.
“I have my clan to look after. I don’t have time to be your brother’s test subject.”
“You said nobody knows the recipe. If Wangji manages to uncover it, it might be the only chance for Jin Ling to taste his mother’s cooking. Don’t throw away this opportunity.”
Jiang Cheng should have thrown both of them out the door half an hour ago. This was on him.
“I will taste no more than three soups a day. You might use the kitchens here, but you will keep out of my way.”
Lan Wangji’s face was a mask, but Jiang Cheng knew he was feeling smug.
“If you succeed, Jin Ling will be the first to try it. Wei Wuxian can wait.”
Hanguang Jun nodded his head once. Not even a ‘thank you’ than. What did Jiang Cheng expect.
&&&
Sizhui followed after Wei Wuxian to find him sitting on the roof and was reminded of a story he once heard from Wen Ning, about how Hanguang Jun and Senior Wei met. Apparently, Wen Ning once heard it when Senior Wei was drunk. Sizhui’s memories were still blurry, but he could remember that Fourth Uncle’s wine could get even the Yiling Patriarch tipsy.
Right now, Senior Wei was, predictably, holding a bottle of Emperor’s Smile to his lips. If Lan Quiren saw him perhaps he would stop ignoring him in favor of scolding, but fortunately, he was long asleep at this hour, as should be Sizhui, as should be the gossiping disciples. Without Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji, their main caretaker besides Lan Quiren was Wei Wuxian, and he never once made them follow such rules, unless he had a purpose in it.
Sizhui joined him on the roof, and declined the wine that Wei Wuxian offered him.
“You know, I once made Hanguang Jun drink wine with me. It was against his will, and he got into trouble because of it. I guess he always gets into trouble because of me.”
“I think that without Senior Wei, Hanguang Jun would not be who he is today. It is not enough to follow rules to be just. You both taught me that.”
Wei Wuxian chuckled.
“A-Yuan, you really have all the best of him and I.”
Sizhui tried not to get embarrassed by such a comment, especially taking into consideration Wei Wuxian’s amused tone. That he sometimes thought of Lan Wangji as his adoptive father surprised no one, as he was the one who had taken him into the Lan sect and under his wings, even if not many of them knew how much Hanguang Jun was risking, hiding the last child of the Wen clan. It was weird to consider Wei Wuxian as a father figure when he only knew him for a short time, but even before he started recovering his memories, he felt a certain familiarity with the man. Now that he remembered some of what transpired when he was a child, a lot of it the result of returning to Burial Mounds with Uncle Wen, he knew that Senior Wei called him his son once, to mess with Lan Wangji. He could not know if either of them really considered him as their child, but he could ashamedly admit to himself that he would like them to.
A good son would help his parents get together, wouldn’t he?
“Senior Wei, I am sure Hanguang Jun’s visit to Lotus Pier is not of that nature. He had never planned to marry before, I don’t see how anyone would be able to force him into it. He would never consider anyone else.”
“Anyone else?” Wei Wuxian laughed, but it was not a happy sound. “Do you really believe what those guys out there said? Nothing ever happened between us, Sizhui, you don’t have to be worried. Your leader’s honor is unblemished.”
“That is not what I meant” Sizhui sighted. Trust Wei Wuxian to get off-topic. “Senior Wei, I am not a naïve boy. Neither am I blind. Hanguang Jun raised me, and I believe I know him very well. He is steadfast in his affections, even when he does not voice them. If I would doubt anyone’s feelings in this, it would be yours.”
When Wei Wuxian turned to face him, he seemed bothered by his words.
“You think you know everything about us? There is a difference between loving someone and being in love.”
“Then which one are you?”
Sizhui rarely argued about anything, but he did become emotional when it came to people he cared about. It might be a thing that he shared the most with Hanguang Jun. Right now, this defeated air Senior Wei had around him was concerning him too much to control his words.
“I know what being in love with someone looks like, Senior Wei. I have seen a great many people protect someone they love, and a few who would be willing to lay down their life or their rules for a friend. But I have only seen one person play the same melody again and again for sixteen years. I didn’t know what it meant then. The moment I heard you two playing I realized. I was taught music by Hanguang Jun himself, don’t you think I would recognize a love song?”
“Sizhui –“
“Which one are you, Senior Wei?”
“I …”
“Because if this is just a passing thing for you, or if you believe you can be nothing more than friends, then I must ask you to leave Hanguang Jun alone. He is the best person I know, and I will not allow anyone to hurt him.”
“Sizhui, even if you’re right, and even if I wanted to … There is still the matter of the duel.”
“Why would that matter? I am sure with enough training Senior Wei has a chance to win, even against Hanguang Jun.”
Wei Wuxian’s face turned sour.
“I can’t. In my previous life, something happened that made my spiritual energy practically non-existent. I dealt with it using resentful energy, but it cannot be used to wield a sword. Even though my body merged with Mo Xuanyu, he never fully formed his golden core and he was physically weak to begin with. At most, I could maybe hold a sword for ten minutes without fainting.”
“I’m sure that Hanguang Jun wouldn’t mind it if you just told him-“
“And what would be the point of that? I was supposed to be his equal in every way. How can I allow him to accept someone weaker than him?”
Sizhui had enough of this loser mentality.
“Than defeat him in ten minutes! You are the Yiling Patriarch, find a way!”
He didn’t wait until Wei Wuxian stopped gaping at him in surprise and left the roof.
&&&
Lan Wangji was really trying not to hate Jiang Wanyin, but after a week seeing him every day, having to take his constant string of vocal abuse, he was seriously considering pouring all of the soup, that was apparently still ‘completely tasteless’, right over the Yunmeng’s leader head. Getting hit with his purple lighting might even be worth it. At least, the story might make Wei Ying laugh.
Wangji knew Wei Ying still cared for his brother deeply, and he tried to do everything that was in his power to make Jiang Wanyin not be displeased at the very sight of him, but the man seemed to be mad at everyone in the world, and Lan Zhan was bad at communicating even with people who liked and respected him. Even the calming presence of his brother didn’t seem to help much.
The Jiang leader saved his life, that time at the temple, and Wangji was thankful, but it was also hard to forget all the suffering that he caused Wei Ying. Especially with all the harsh words he liked to throw Wangji’s way.
No matter what Jiang Wanyin said, Wangji was not trying to seduce Wei Ying. He was not delusional or unaware of the feelings he was afraid of when they were young, and which caused him so much pain for the sixteen years Wei Ying was gone. If not for the responsibility he felt to raise Lan Yuan and the slight hope that Wei Ying would somehow return, he’s not sure how he would have survived.
He wasn’t going to be like the others. Everyone seemed to always want something from Wei Ying, even the people who loved him. Wangji was not going to require anything from him. By doing this he just hoped to bring Wei Ying comfort, like his sister used to.
If he ever managed to do that without causing the Lan and Jiang clans to fight, that is.
&&&
Suibian was returned to him via Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi, right after he decided to stay in Cloud Recesses. Well, it was actually returned to Lan Zhan, because Jiang Cheng didn’t want it and likely wasn’t sure what to do with it, but Wei Ying and Lan Zhan lived together, so the sword was well within his reach.
He didn’t touch it. For a week he worked on improving his body; its strength, balance and agility, and when he had a bit of time between that, teaching the juniors and avoiding Lan Quiren, he also meditated among the rabbits to improve his mind. Even though it could never replace his golden core.
A-Yuan was right. He couldn’t just do nothing. If there was the slightest chance he could defeat Lan Zhan and ask for them to be …
What if it was true that Lan Zhan went to Yunmeng because the clans wanted him to find a wife? What if they tried to force him? What if he agreed for the good of the Lan clan?
Lan Zhan being unhappy was not a thing Wei Ying would stand for. If he wanted to marry someone, that was fine, Wei Ying would not stand in their way. However, if Sizhui was right, if there really existed a probability of Lan Zhan accepting him, of them being happy together, he had to take it.
It was easier said than done. He was perhaps able to take down some cultivators in a physical fight, even without using his sword, but Lan Zhan was among the best swordsmen in the cultivation world. He could win if he used the stygian tiger amulet and his tricks, but without them, he had practically no chance at all.
He took Suibian’s hilt into his hand, without unsheathing it. A-Yuan proposed to practice with him, as he was well versed in the Lan’s swordsmanship. He was far from being as good as Lan Zhan, but it was a beginning.
Sizhui was right before, too. Wei Wuxian only had to have the sword in his hand for a while, if he managed to somehow corner Lan Zhan before unsheathing it, he could take him down in the ten minutes he would be able to hold it.
For today he couldn’t even corner Sizhui, so he wasn’t very optimistic about his chances.
&&&
After three weeks, Wangji’s soup was no longer tasteless, but, according to Jiang Wanyin, it was still far from the one his sister used to make. Wangji split his time between cooking and his duties, that managed to follow him into Yunmeng right after people found out where he was.
His brother told him he was leaving today, and Wangji loathed to be left alone with the Jiang leader. He hoped he would manage to uncover the recipe before this day, but it didn’t look like it.
“Are you sure you want to stay, Wangji?”
“Mn.”
His brother sighed, “Is this really a good idea? What if Wei Wuxian doesn’t manage to stay in Cloud Recesses so long without you? What if he leaves?”
“That’s fine.”
“That’s – Wangji, what do you mean? What’s the point of doing all this if he leaves you?”
“I don’t want to be his prison.”
“You gave him many chances to leave before. He stayed even though he knew it would reflect badly on your reputation. Now you just want to let him go?”
“It is better if he leaves now. I can’t go away with him, not until I make a change in the world. If he can’t leave while I’m there, now is his chance.”
“Wangji, think about yourself sometimes! I do not want to see you hurt.”
“Won’t it hurt more, the later he leaves?”
The sadness this thought carried overwhelmed Wangji.
“Do you expect him to leave?”
Predictably, his brother received no answer.
“Very well.” Lan Xichen tried to not show how much his brother’s attitude bothered him. “I will see what the situation is in Gusu. Try not to take too long here.”
It was hard for Wangji to say goodbye to his brother, with the thought that he may be able to see Wei Ying before him, or not see him at all.
Of course, Lan Wangji didn’t want Wei Ying to leave. He treasured their every moment, but the longer he stayed the harder it would be to survive without him. Wei Ying was a free being, he should not be tied down because Wangji chose to become the Chief Cultivator. He would not be like his father.
And if it was true that when Wangji returned to Cloud Recesses his home would be empty, well, fate was bound to bring them back together at some point. Wangji would wait to make the soup for him. He would wait an eternity if that was what Wei Ying needed.
&&&
Lan Xichen made his way back into Cloud Recesses weighted by worry. He knew well how devoting oneself to the wrong person ended, and he wanted to protect Wangji, but he had no right to insert himself into their private affairs.
He didn’t consider Wei Wuxian a bad person, and he had proven how much Wangji meant to him. He just wasn’t sure how it would progress. Wei Wuxian had an unfortunate tendency to bring tragedy with him.
He was also unsure of the other’s feelings. Wangji was easy to read, if not for anyone else but himself. Wei Wuxian, however, was a complicated character. He thought he saw many times, that this thing between them was reciprocated, but the fact that neither of them acted on it, except in moments of immediate danger, did not bode well for the future.
He was half expecting to see Wei Wuxian gone when he returned.
He did not expect to see him kicking Sizhui in the stomach while blocking Jingyi’s sword and throwing him off, before three other disciples attacked him. He sent each of them flying. All this without unsheathing his sword.
Lan Xichen stayed in the shadows until Wei Wuxian left the defeated and tired students on the ground with a laugh. He approached Sizhui for an explanation.
“Why is Master Wei training with you? He gave up his sword long ago.”
“It’s for Hanguang Jun.” Jingyi supplied before Sizhui had a chance to answer.
“For brother? What do you mean?”
“Zewu Jun, forgive us. Senior Wei heard about the sword duel that has to be won in order to be able to propose to Hanguang Jun.” Sizhui intoned in his perfectly civil manner, before Jingyi could explain in a less courteous way.
“A sword duel?” He could do nothing but repeat dumbly.
“Some students had a theory that Hanguang Jun visited Yunmeng to find a wife, as there is an exceptional female fighter closely related to the Jiang clan.”
He blinked. Then he couldn’t help himself, he laughed, startling the disciples. It was the first time he felt so pleased since that fateful night in the temple.
“Sizhui, do you know where Master Wei went?”
“He goes to meditate at this hour. He’s probably with the rabbits.”
It didn’t take much time to find Wei Wuxian, and the rabbits sprawled around him. He was meditating with Suibian posed on his lap.
“I don’t think the disciples are good enough training partners if you want to defeat my brother.”
Wei Wuxian opened his eyes, but he did not seem startled by his presence.
“Zewu Jun. Are you back?”
“Wangji’s return was postponed.”
“I see.”
“You don’t seem too sad about that.”
“I am, but … as you could see I am not good enough yet. I need more time.”
He sat next to Wei Wuxian and observed his sword.
“You fight without removing the sheath. Do you really think you can win like that?”
“I can remove it, for a short time. I’m not at the point where I know how to force Lan Zhan into a position where it could be used, yet.”
“You seem determined.”
He seemed more than determined. It was a far cry from what Lan Xichen expected him to do, which was either to escape or to suffer in silence. Especially since defeating his brother without a golden core was practically impossible. Even with it, he knew only a few people who had a chance.
“How is Lan Zhan? Did he …”
“Did he what?”
“Did he find what he was looking for in Yunmeng?”
Lan Xichen smiled. He did not approve of lying, but neither did he think the whole truth should always be visible to everyone. To steer the situation was sometimes better, even though a horrible voice in his mind reminded him of a person he used to know who excelled at such tactics. But he quashed it, with the hope that this path might be the proper one this time.
“Not yet. I am unsure how much time you have until he returns, but I hope not much.”
When all was settled here, when Wangji was in a stable and happy situation, then Wan Xichen could finally leave, as he planned to do from the beginning.
First, however, he had things to do here.
“As I said, the disciples are not a good enough enemy. You need someone Wangji’s level.”
“Zewu Jun, would you really help me?” Wei Wuxian didn’t sound so hopeful in a long time. This was a good change.
“Well, since Master Wei is asking so nicely. But I will not only train with you. There is something, I believe might help you against my brother.”
&&&
Jin Ling did not expect Jin Chan to attack him on his way to Uncle’s house. He might have seen it coming, as he was most against him when he became the new Jin leader. Because people rarely dared to attack him, he didn’t take a lot of guards with him. His cousin, however, had tons of people, who were quickly gaining an advantage.
Mostly, Jin Ling did not expect the ghost general to come to his aid, suddenly dispersing his cousin’s troop as if they were insects.
To show his appreciation, he was not very harsh in rejecting it when Wen Ning insisted to guard him until he was safely in Yunmeng. They miscalculated somewhat, not considering his Uncle would wait for him on the border. For some reason, Hanguang Jun was by his side, but Jin Ling hardly had time to register it, as he saw his Uncle’s face turning sour. Well, sourer than it usually was.
“Wen Ning! What are you doing here!”
The ghost general stepped back. It seemed the fierce corpse was just as scared of Jiang Cheng as the overall population.
“Uncle!” Jin Ling decided to intervene before things got ugly. “Wen Ning saved us!”
“What are you saying?”
“We were ambushed! If he did not intervene, who knows what would have happened!”
“Are you so weak you cannot protect yourself!”
Jin Ling shrunk around himself.
“Clan Leader Jiang, Clan Leader Jin was seriously outnumbered. Anyone in this situation would –“
“Shut up! Did I ask for your opinion?”
An awkward silence commenced. To disperse it, Jin Ling decided to approach the calmest looking person.
“Hanguang Jun, I did not know you were still in Yunmeng. Is Uncl – is Wei Wuxian with you?”
Jin Ling would never admit it, but he was pleased to see the Chief Cultivator, hoping that Wei Wuxian was with him, even though it probably meant he would have to separate Fairy from them for a moment. When he started as the new clan leader, both Uncle Jiang and Hanguang Jun used their positions to stabilize the Jin clan and help him gain authority. At that time, they spent a lot of time in Lanling, and where Lan Wangji went, Wei Wuxian always followed, creeping in the shadows. He seemed to like talking with Jin Ling, mostly to joke, though sometimes he gave useful advice too.
“Wei Ying is not here.” The man answered in his laconic way, without offering an explanation.
“Oh,” he tried not to show his disappointment as clearly as Wen Ning. “Is he in Cloud Recesses?”
Hanguang Jun simply nodded.
“You brat, why are you asking all those questions? Stop wasting time and let’s go to Lotus Pier.” His uncle commanded.
“Ah, I’ll take my leave then. Clan Leader Jin, Clan Leader Jiang, Your Excellency, goodbye.” Wen Ning started to bow in their direction.
“I already have one guest, one more won’t make much difference.” His uncle said, turning their back to them and starting in the direction of Lotus Pier.
Wen Ning was overjoyed, and even Hanguang Jun seemed satisfied, though Jin Ling had a hard time reading him. The two fell into an easy pace beside each other, following him and his uncle.
He lost sight of Wen Ning for a few days after that. His time was filled with dreadfully boring meetings, which were the only occasions he saw Hanguang Jun, and training with his uncle, which left him hurting all over. He only found him when he went to the kitchens to snoop around for a snack. To his surprise, Hanguang Jun seemed to be cooking something, while Wen Ning sat stood to the side, observing. They weren’t talking, but the silence seemed comfortable.
Jin Ling was considering coming inside when Wen Ning suddenly started speaking.
“I know I said it before, but it’s so nice of you to do this, Hanguang Jun. Master Wei will be overjoyed. I admit I was worried when I heard you were to part ways.”
“Why?” Hanguang Jun answered in his curt manner.
“If you were to travel the world together, that would be fine, because that would make Master Wei happy. But if he went alone, I’m afraid the old regrets would catch up to him.”
Lan Wangji was silent for a while.
“Don’t you think it is bad for me to keep him in Cloud Recesses?”
“Why would it be bad? It can be bad for your reputation, but in the end, everyone knows of your morals, Hanguang Jun.”
“Shouldn’t Wei Ying be free?”
“Hanguang Jun, you are not keeping him there by force. If he was to leave, he would have left. But I think – I think that –“
A look from Hanguang Jun prompted him to continue.
“To tell the truth, I - I am envious of the two of you. I have never known such devotion outside of family members. I also think that people who are destined to be together should stay together.”
Jin Ling retreated from the kitchen, even though he was still hungry. He was unwilling to break into their conversation. He didn’t fully understand what it meant. Wen Ning’s words sounded as if …
It sounded as if Wei Wuxian and Hanguang Jun were in love.
&&&
Wei Ying did not expect to see Nie Huaisang in Cloud Recesses, but the fact that there was a problem on their borders soon explained his arrival. He must have known Lan Zhan was in Yunmeng, but he clearly didn’t predict Lan Xichen managed to come back already. Since Jin Guangyao’s death, the men tried to avoid each other, which posed a certain problem for Huaisang, as the two people who he usually turned to for help couldn’t resolve his problems anymore.
This was probably the reason why he was referring the mysterious attacks to Wei Wuxian. It was slightly more on his ground than on that of the Lan clan, but the disciples were getting restless lately, a night hunt would do them good. Wei Wuxian decided to agree, as long as Lan Xichen allowed it.
“Thank you, bro Wei.”
“Bro Nie, it’s alright. I hope you repay my kindness in the future.”
He was already leaving when Nie Huaisang suddenly spoke.
“I heard you are practicing the sword again.”
“Oh, do such trivial news reach your home?”
Did Nie Huaisang actually have spies in Cloud Recesses? Not that it should surprise him, if Nie Huaisang wanted to have something under his control, he was sure not to spare resources.
“You won’t defeat him.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Bro Wei, you are certainly formidable, but in your situation, even if you trained for years, you would not be able to defeat Hanguang Jun without your tricks. Not fairly, that is.”
“Are you suggesting I defeat him unfairly? What would be the point of that?”
“There are few men as beautiful as our Chief Cultivator. Are you willing to risk it?”
Wei Wuxian tried very hard not to turn around and do something to Nie Huaisang. Being right did not give him the right to be smug. Even though he was sure, if he turned around, he would see a perfectly amicable and confused expression on the other man’s face.
“Even though your situation is difficult, there are certain advantages others would not have in a fight with him.”
“Such as?”
“He will not try to hurt you.” there was a pause “What if he accidentally draws blood?”
Wei Wuxian smiled to himself. Only Nie Huaisang could speak of such underhanded methods.
“As for the rest, I don’t know.” Nie Huaisang told his back, accompanied by the sound of his fan opening, and made his way to exit the Cloud Recesses.
The task proved much more than all of them expected. It turned out someone woke up an ancient monster. Lan Jingyi very nearly got critically hurt. If it was not for the sudden appearance of Song Lan, who happened to be following the perpetrator for some time, it might have ended terribly.
Thankfully, with his help, they managed to deal with the matter. When Jingyi woke up, Wei Wuxian left him in the hands of preoccupied Sizhui and approached the leaving cultivator.
Song Lan was, after all, one of the best swordsmen.
&&&
Giving up was not an option, but Wangji missed Wei Ying with every passing day. At the same time, he was afraid to return and not find him there.
According to Jiang Wanyin the soup tasted similar to his sister’s now, but something was still missing. He was running out of ideas.
More and more people demanded his time and asked him when he was going to return. Jiang Wanyin didn’t so much throw mean comments at him anymore, just ignored him. Wen Ning left some days ago, leaving Lan Wangji alone.
In the past, Wangji was alone a lot. Only his brother really understood him, and showed him affection, until he met Wei Ying. He learned then what it meant to be alone when you desired someone’s company. The loneliness after Wei Ying’s death was a constant sharp pain. The three years he spent in seclusion made him hollow inside, and he was afraid he would never survive the grief. When the punishment ended, he suddenly had the saved A-Yuan returned to him to look after. The brightness of the child soothed him, and after some time, he started teaching and looking after the juniors. They were like his rabbits, followed him where they could, and though they were autonomous creatures, they still needed help and direction. The sharp pain of missing Wei Ying was always there, but he could survive for these little Lan’s, for the future of his clan. But only when Wei Ying returned Wangji felt whole again.
Now he was here, far away from anyone he cared about. Perhaps that was why Jin Ling’s sudden company in the kitchen pleased him.
“What is it that you’re cooking here every day, Hanguang Jun?” The boy said from the countertop he was sitting on while waving his legs in a childish manner.
“Soup.”
“Why are you doing that every day?”
It was hard to explain to Jin Ling without telling him the details, so he let the question hang.
“Can I try it?”
Wangji was further away from the bowl, so before he had time to protest, Jin Ling was already putting a spoonful into his mouth.
“Hmm, it’s a little bland.”
Wangji had a sudden premonition.
“What would improve it?”
“Can I use some herbs?”
Jin Ling added seasoning and Wangji observed every detail carefully. When they gave the soup to Jiang Cheng to try, Wangji knew by his sudden unguarded expression and the shock in his eyes, that it was the right one.
Jin Ling visibly tried to hold back his tears when he learned what the soup was, and even more when Jiang Cheng discovered it was because of him that they managed to replicate the recipe, and commented that he apparently had something of his mother in him after all.
Wangji could finally return home. He wasted no time in that, leaving the next morning.
“Thank you for your hospitality, Clan Leader Jiang.” For once, Wangji was truly thankful to the hateful man.
“The next time you have a similar request, please tell me earlier, so I can leave for a night hunt.” Jiang Wanyin returned with his usual snark, and proceeded to glare at Jin Ling when he giggled.
“I will take my leave then.”
Before Lan Wangji turned around completely Jiang Wanyin spoke again.
“Clan Leader Lan” he seemed to hesitate for a moment, but his voice emerged smoothly “The next time you visit Lotus Pier, bring him with you. I won’t be able to take your sad swooning in my residence a second time.”
Lan Wangji turned to him with a hopeful expression, but Jiang Wanyin was already making his way back inside, with his nephew running behind.
&&&
The Lan Wangji that was in Wei Wuxian’s imagination and memories was the most beautiful person on earth, but he had nothing on the Lan Zhan who was real and standing before him now, returned from his trip.
How could he look so delicate and be so strong?
Before his death, Lan Zhan’s appearance seemed cold to him, gorgeous, but untouchable like ice. Only sometimes he could see the cracks, the gentler moments, his face often impassive, but his eyes full of emotion. The Lan Zhan he met after sixteen years seemed softer. Not always, not with everybody, but with him, the gentleness was unmistakable. His white robes and skin no longer made him into an icicle. He was soft, pure, and beautiful, like snow.
He was not the only one who came to greet Lan Zhan, which was maybe for the best, because he had a very good reason not to do something unwise, like hugging him. Like kissing him. He couldn’t do that among the barely hidden excitement of the Lan disciples, that surrounded Lan Zhan like children waiting for the acknowledgment of their father. But the time they spent apart made him unable not to come close, not to gently touch Lan Zhan’s hand.
“You’re back.” He said, but what he meant was ‘don’t leave again’.
Lan Zhan looked at their entwined hands and smiled marginally. His eyes were the warmest thing when he looked back at Wei Ying.
“I’m back.”
Lan Zhan’s hands were perpetually cold. Wei Wuxian tried to remember if it was always like this, or if it was the effect of spending three years in the Cold Pond Cave. The thought made him look back at Lan Quiren, who was farther off to the side, still angry at Lan Zhan about letting Wei Ying stay. For hurting Lan Zhan so much, the man should be the one to be treated with contempt. Wei Wuxian felt responsible for the pain he caused Lan Zhan, but he found Lan Quiren’s unforgiving nature more at fault.
He was drawn out of his thoughts by the slight pressure on his hand. Lan Zhan’s hand squeezed his, only to let go, but before he could withdraw it, Wei Wuxian unthinkingly caught his wrist.
“You must be tired. Get some rest before they all start demanding your attention.”
He started dragging Lan Zhan in the direction of the Jingshi, and he soon followed on his own, instructing Sizhui that he will listen to everyone tomorrow.
Wei Wuxian loved that he had precedence before anyone else for Lan Zhan. He wanted to have him all to himself today. He didn’t know how their duel tomorrow would end, and if Lan Zhan took offense at him for even trying, well, he had to use these last moments together.
In his excitement he didn’t let Lan Zhan rest at all, but kept telling him about the monster he and the juniors encountered, or at other times asked how were things in Lotus Pier. Lan Zhan patiently answered his questions and gave him his delicate smiles. Wei Wuxian could see that he was tired, so he finally let him go to bed, but he himself wasn’t able to fall asleep. He walked quietly around the Jingshi. The moon sent its silvery stripes of light on Lan Zhan’s bed, illuminating his peaceful face, and Wei Ying had to hold himself back from laying next to him. It should be his place, not occupied only by this cold light.
The morning came faster than he expected, and it took Lan Zhan away from him, to deal with other duties and the disciples’ questions. Wei Wuxian found him again in the afternoon, pouring over extremally boring papers.
“Are you nearly done?” He asked, trying for patient, but from Lan Zhan’s expression he didn’t succeed.
“I will be in a moment. Are you hungry? You don’t have to wait for me.”
“No, it’s not about food. I have a request.”
&&&
Wangji didn’t comment Suibian Wei Ying was carrying in his hand, but it did surprise him. He didn’t expect to be led to the back hill and suddenly asked to duel.
“Wei Ying. You can’t –“
“It is because I can’t, that I want to this. I can’t always rely on my tricks or your protection. I have been practicing, but I’ll only know the scope of my ability going against someone strong.”
Wangji hesitated. He used to dream about sparring with Wei Ying, but it was unfair in his state. Still, Wangji’s control was good enough not to harm him. He couldn’t very well say he didn’t mind protecting Wei Ying. So he nodded his head and drew his sword.
Wei Ying charged at him without drawing his, so Wangji didn’t use much force when he parried. Wei Ying didn’t mean to contact their swords at all, he side-stepped him, meaning to trip him, but Wangji jumped out of the way, this time connecting his sword with Wei Ying’s sheath. The other didn’t give him time to do much, he quickly disappeared behind him again.
Wangji knew Wei Ying was fast, and could most likely avoid most swords coming his way, but he didn’t think he was able to avoid Bichen so well. Wangji trained a lot to achieve the control and swiftness he possessed.
Wei Ying couldn’t push him back, but he showed no signs of giving in either. Wangji’s blood sang at being able to fight like this, capable and strong. It did not remind him exactly of the style Wei Ying fought in the past, as he didn’t even unsheathe Suibian once. He couldn’t recognize swordsmanship of any clan at all, but his movements seemed to be specially invented to counter the Lan clan’s fighting style. Wei Ying relied heavily on trying to attack with his body before Lan Zhan had a chance to raise his sword, and though he could avoid the other’s kicks in time, he had to little time to attack him properly.
The duel lasted longer than he expected. They were both tired and had empty stomachs, but neither showed the signs of stopping. At one moment, Wei Ying suddenly drew his sword, and the clash of them together reminded Wangji of their second meeting. This style he recognized some elements, as Wei Ying himself had told him yesterday he met Song Lan.
Wangji noticed a certain kind of desperation in the way Wei Ying fought. Strong emotions were an enemy in fighting, they disrupted the strategy, so soon he noticed an opening. He swung his sword and tried to slow its descend when Wei Ying suddenly withdrew his out of the way. He didn’t manage to stop it completely when Wei Ying caught the blade in his bare hand.
He was bleeding. Wangji knew the cut must not be deep, but the sight of Wei Ying’s blood dripping down his blade, momentarily shocked him enough for Wei Ying to suddenly get closer to him and press a point on his waist.
Wangji knew that move. It was the Lan family’s secret technique to paralyze someone’s body. There were only three people in Cloud Recesses who were able to use it. He highly suspected his brother had a hand in this.
He knew how to overcome the paralysis with his golden core, but apparently Wei Ying knew of this too. It took him less than five seconds to throw Wangji’s sword away and position his blade against Wangji’s throat.
“Do you yield?” He asked with a low voice.
There was something wild and dangerous in his eyes, and Wangji suddenly reminded himself of the ability and unpredictability of the man people called the Yiling Patriarch. It also made him feel other things that he wished to have under his control.
“Lan Zhan.” The blade pressed closer, but Wangji was sure Wei Ying would never willingly spill his blood.
Arguably, he could just wait. Wei Ying was reaching the time limit he was able to hold his sword, and Wangji could break the paralysis in a few moments. But he knew Wei Ying would not give up fighting with him, even to the point of wasting his energy and endangering his health.
“I yield.”
Wei Ying lowered his sword with a brilliant smile, sheathed it and freed him from the paralysis with his touch. He used an obviously pre-prepared bandage to cover the wound on his palm.
It seemed like he wanted to say something, but what could make him hesitate, Wangji couldn’t guess.
“What is it?”
Did Wei Ying think he went easy on him? It wasn’t like Wangji planned to lose, he really did fight as he normally would. That Wei Ying outsmarted him was his own mistake, which he kept in mind for future reference.
“It’s just that … I heard ….”
It was uncharacteristic for him to be so lost for words.
“Is something wrong? Are you not satisfied with the fight?”
Did he let Wei Ying down?
“No! It’s just that, well, I heard some things.” Wei Ying kept meeting and avoiding his eyes. Wangji was taken aback by the lack of joy he displayed a moment ago. He sent the other a questioning look, hoping it would convey his confusion.
“I heard that … that you would only consider a proposal from someone able to win a duel with you.” He said looking up uncertainly.
“A proposal?”
“To marry.”
Oh. So that was what he meant.
“I never said it.”
He never denied it either. This rumor proved useful in stopping anyone from asking him why he was unmarried, as he was quite well-known for his skill. Wangji had no plan to marry anyone. He never thought the one he loved would be willing.
“What do you mean? Your brother -”
“I never said anything like that. My brother is aware of this.”
Wei Ying had his mouth open in shock. His quickly became self-conscious and jumpily started to back away.
“I see. We should forget about this, than. Yes, that would be for the best. Thank you for the duel. Let’s go back. I’ll just quickly go-“
“Wei Ying.” Wangji caught the other’s wrist before he could back away any further. “Do you want to ask me something?”
Wei Ying visibly swallowed. He hesitantly looked into his eyes. “Lan Zhan. Would you like to –“
“Yes.”
Wangji didn’t plan to let either of them suffer a second longer. The expression Wei Ying sent him was full of disbelief, but it quickly turned into unfathomable joy. Very suddenly he hugged Wangji with such force that both of them lost their balance and landed on the grass.
It wasn’t a very dignified position, but Wei Ying was laughing over him with such delight, it made Wangji smile too.
“Do you remember, Lan Zhan” Wei Ying started with a face full of mirth “I had you under me like this before.”
“Yes” Wangji began, using the element of surprise to flip their positions “I remember.”
Wei Ying gazed from under him with amusement, which quickly turned into something more serious. His hand travelled up to touch Wangji’s cheek, his fingers on the Lan’s clan headband. The little show of possessiveness made Wangji’s heart beat faster. He leaned down and Wei Ying raised to meet him in the middle, connecting their lips. Wangji had never kissed anyone before, but if the rush he felt was similar to what other people felt, he understood the appeal.
Wei Ying, strangely, didn’t seem much more experienced than him. In a way, it seemed clumsy, until they found a common rhythm. The overwhelming, slow movement of their joined lips, distracted Wangji. He barely felt Wei Ying untying his hair and his headband, letting them fall down next to them. They were now surrounded by Wangji’s long hair.
Wei Ying’s tongue started teasing his lower lip and Wangji had to break them apart not to suffocate. He was feeling too much all at once, at it made it easy for Wei Ying to turn them around again, covering Wangji with most of his weight.
They were touching everywhere. Wei Ying rested between his legs, on his torso, his arm holding him only slightly above Wangji’s face. Wangji must have looked a mess: his clothes rumpled, his ears red, his hair unrulily resting on the grass.
“So beautiful.” Wei Ying said breathlessly.
“Wei Ying is more beautiful.”
He surged up before Wei Ying could answer, connecting their lips again. This time, Wei Ying’s tongue was met with his own, enthusiastically answering each touch. His hands were pushed into Wei Ying’s hair, while he could feel Wei Ying’s hand travelling down his arm his side, stopping low on his back.
He was getting very hot. Already without his headband, he felt half-naked, but the sudden thought of being completely naked at once embarrassed and excited him. He should be more in control of himself, but being in this situation made it impossible to be logical.
Wangji drew Wei Ying’s lower lip between his teeth, never quite biting, and opened his legs wider, rising the slightest bit. The sound Wei Ying made at that caused him to want things he only allowed in his wildest dreams.
“Hanguang Jun!” The sudden shout came.
Wangji was too dazed to suddenly stop completely. Thankfully, Wei Ying startled enough to raise the slightest bit of him.
The voice came from far enough that Sizhui must have been down the hill, thankfully out of view.
“What is it?” Wei Ying shouted back, his irritation palpable.
“Senior Wei! You were here. We were asked to find Hanguang Jun immediately by Old Master Lan.”
“We will come down in a moment!”
“Senior Wei!” there was another voice, which they recognized as Jingyi “did you win?”
Wei Ying laughed, “I won!”
“When’s the wedding then?”
“Jingyi, don’t ask them that yet.” Sizhui disciplined.
“Oh, come on. I can’t wait for Old Master Lan to hear about this!”
&&&
Predictably, Lan Quiren was not overjoyed. Thankfully, he had no power over Lan Zhan anymore, now that his position outweighed anyone in the cultivation world. He also had Lan Xichen and the disciples against him, the most of which Lan Jingyi, who was hard to argue with on his own, and even Sizhui respectfully protected the right of his caretaker to marry anyone he chose. In the end, the elders could do nothing.
They returned to the Jingshi all secret smiles and averting eyes. As soon as they were back, Lan Zhan made him sit down and told him to wait. After quite a bit of time, he returned with a steaming bowl of something.
Wei Wuxian recognized by smell what it was as soon as Lan Zhan put it on the table. His throat was choked up, so he couldn’t say anything and just obediently took the bowl Lan Zhan poured him.
He was already moved enough that Lan Zhan attempted to do this for him. He did not expect it would actually taste like his sister’s soup. No one ever managed to do it like her. Except his new betrothed apparently.
He looked up at Lan Zhan, who was observing him with a tender expression.
“Is that why you went to Lotus Pier?” his voice wavered, but he tried to keep it under control.
Lan Zhan simply nodded.
“How did you manage to do it? No one ever…”
“Jiang Wanyin was tasting it. Jin Ling helped.”
“You’ve been there over a month. This whole time?”
“It had to be perfect.”
Wei Wuxian tried very hard to smile, but he could feel the tears streaming down his face. No, he couldn’t cry. Lan Zhan made this for him, he must show him how grateful he is. It was just from the shock, he never thought he would taste this dish again. He never thought there would be someone who could love him this much again.
“I’m sorry, Lan Zhan” his voice sounded horrible “I’m really, truly happy. These are happy tears! Just give me a moment, I will get it under control.”
Two hands gently encircled him and he was suddenly pressed against Lan Zhan’s chest, ruining his white clothes with his tears.
“Wei Ying can cry. I will comfort you.”
Wei Wuxian was surprised into a laugh.
“Ah, Lan Zhan, aren’t you just a perfect gentleman.”
He allowed himself to cry a little more into the stable white-clad body of his future husband. Eventually, the tears wearied him enough to start dozing off.
He was unsure at which point Lan Zhan moved them to the bed, but the next time he woke it was still dark, and he was resting comfortably with his arms around Lan Zhan’s body and his head on his shoulder.
By the way he was breathing, Lan Zhan was sleeping deeply. Wei Ying planned to join him in a moment, but first, he wanted to allow himself to marvel at the feeling of finally being home.