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Lance stood outside Shiro’s room, trying to get his nerves together. The paladins has just gotten back from a mission and Lance had gone straight to Shiro’s room instead of changing. Why he’d chosen now of all times, he didn’t know. Something just felt right. He had to get this over with. Lance raised a trembling hand and knocked.
“Just a minute!” Shiro calles and Lance backed away from the door.
Maybe... maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. What was he even going to say anyways? Hi Shiro, I think I’m gay. No, no that was too straight forward. Shiro, have you ever liked guys? No! That was way to personal. He couldn’t do this. Lance turned to leave and the door woodshed open.
“Hey Lace, you still need me?” Lance froze and swallowed thickly.
“I uh.” He turned around, wiping his sweaty palms on his legs. “Shiro I need to talk to you.”
Worry briefly crossed Shiros face but he smiled and moved to the side. “Come in.” The door shut behind them and Lances chest constricted. What was he going to say?
“Im sorry It’s a bit messy, I don’t normally get visitors. Here we can sit on the bed.” Shiro hastily moved his clothes from his bed while Lance desperately tried to calm his nerves as he sat. In, 2, 3, hold, 5, 6, out, 8, 9, 10. Again. In, 2, 3, hold, 5, 6, out, 8, 9, 10.
A silence passed over the room and Lance could practically hear his heart hammering in his chest. Was he actually going to do this? Was he actually going to tell someone? What if Shiro was homophobic? Would the team not be able to trust him? What if he was kicked off of Voltron? He was just starting to feel like he belonged here and now he could get kicked off. Fear loomed over him like a dark cloud.
“Lance? What did you want to talk about?” Shiro asked, breaking the silence. “Did you want to talk about the mission? I mean I thought you did great. I could give you some small pointers if you want, nothing big just minor details.” He continued, but Lance wasn’t listening.
What if I’m wrong? Will they think I’m stupid? Will they think I’m just doing this for attention? What if I am?
Every single outlandish theory ran through Lances mind and he almost believed all of them. But he had to get this off his chest. He’d been resting with it for far too long and Shiro just had this inviting atmosphere like he could spill anything and it’d be all right.
“I like boys.” Lance blurted, cutting off Shiros lecture about the way he preformed his nose dives or something. They both fell deathly silent and Lance swore his nerves got worse.
Quiznak he should not have said that. He should’ve just kept his mouth shut and his thoughts to himself and now everything was going to be screwed up and awful and he was going to be kicked off of Voltron. Hot tears pricked at his eyes as dread sunk like a stone in his stomach.
“I mean it’s not that. I don’t... you know... well I do but it’s just that...” Lance frantically stumbled over his words before Shiro even had a chance to speak.
“I’ve always liked girls.” Lances throat was tight and tears escaped down his face. “I mean it was easy and normal for me to notice them but now I’ve started to notice boys and it’s not normal or anything and it’s just so confusing because there’s still girls you know but boys too and I can’t just pick one-“
“Bi.” Lances heart stopped as Shiro cut him off.
“What?” Lance asked, his voice shaking. Was Shiro actually going to throw him out? Quiznak he should not have said anything! He should not have said anything!
But Shiro just gave him a soft and knowing smile. “Bi. As in Bisexual. That’s the term you’re looking for. It means you like both genders. Girls and boys. You don’t have to pick one Lance. It’s a thing.”
The gears seemed to turn in Lance’s mind as he fidgeted slightly. Liking both genders. Liking girls and liking boys. Not choosing. It felt... right. That sounded great.
“But what if.. I’ve never actually done anything and so what if... what if...”
Shiro finished his sentence for him. “What if you find out you’re not? That’s okay.” Lance smiled gratefully.
“Lance these labels, these catalogues that we all think we have to fit into, they don’t matter. What matters is you know who you are, what you like, and what you’re comfortable with. Don’t let anyone else tell you those things. You might doubt yourself but at the end if it all you’re the only one who knows those things. You’re the only one who really knows who Lance is.”
“And,” Shiro continued on. “It’s okay if those things change over time. You’re not the same you that you were ten years ago. Are you?” He asked. “You’re allowed to figure yourself out.”
Lance let out a choked sob, nodding his head along with everything that Shiro said. He wasn’t crying with fear anymore. No this time it was more... relief. He felt light. The burden that he’d carried with him for so long was gone. He had answers and he had acceptance. Bisexuality. He didn’t have to choose. It sounded too good to be true.
“If I’m... Bisexual.” Lance tried the term, enjoying the way it sounded coming from his mouth. “You won’t be mad?”
Shiro chuckled softly, scooting closer to Lance and gently placing a hand on his back. “Did you listen to the speech I just gave? No, Lance, i won’t be mad. I know what you’re feeling, where you’re coming from. I went through the same thing awhile back.”
“You’re Bi?!” Lance exclaimed.
“Gay.” Shiro corrected with a smile. “You’re not alone Lance. I’m always here if you want to talk.”
Lance sniffled, wiping the wet tears and snot from his face. His nose and eyes were red and he was hiccuping softly but he felt lighter than he had in ages. Lance smiled. He was Bisexual.