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Tony paces back and forth in the livingroom. He runs his hand through his hair and lets out multiple stressed sighs and grunts as he continues walking back and forth. In less than an hour he'll be meeting with the disbanded Avengers to discuss the Accords and possibly become a team again. Not that they'll ever have what they had again though. After months of therapy (thanks Pepper) and trying to get better, mentally, he isn't exactly thrilled by the idea, but he assures himself it's for the better good. For the rest of the world. Not for him. He's pretty sure he might just suffocate. Besides, he's got Rhodey, Happy, Pepper, Peter and May now. He doesn't need them.
"Tony, look at me," May says sternly, gripping his shoulders, holding him at arms length. He almost jumps, having been too engrossed in his thoughts to notice her standing in front of him. After a rocky start, May had with time become a good friend. A good addition to his small circle he likes to call his family. His strange, yet charming family. "I know you're stressed and probably very anxious right now," She says, looking right into his eyes. He wants to look away, but finds himself unable to. He only nods. This woman's abilitys never cease to amaze. She is an amazing parent and Tony wonders why her and Ben never had children of their own.
"These people will cling onto the most obscure reasons to hate you when they're no better themselves," May continues, sounding as sure as ever. If only he was as confident as her. "I want you to remember that, okay?"
Tony finds himself speachless and yet he feels so much better about the meeting. He can never truly express how much she means to him even if he tried. May Parker is a super-human in herself. He is so gratefull to have her in his life. She had, and is still, a big part in him learning that he doesn't have to carry the weight of the world, and everybody else's, all alone.
"Yes, of course," He replies, nodding.
She smiles and hugs him tightly before whispering a good luck into his ear and leaving the room. She always knows what to say.
Thirty-five and a half minutes later Tony doesn't feel so confident anymore. He can't bring himself to open the door when he knows who sits in the room behind it. Every fiber of his body is screaming at him to run. To run and hide and never come back. He gather's himself, burying his anxiety, takes a deep breath and opens the door, putting on his signature sunglasses as he steps into the room. His eyes were always the part that gave him away.
All eyes fall on him as he strides to the table they're all sitting at. He movies the chair, but doesn't sit down. Even if his legs feel like they're about to give out any moment now. Rhodey nods at him. A silent way of telling him it's going to be fine. He clears his throat and picks up a Stark Tablet.
"Welcome back, Avengers." Silence. It's awkwardly quiet. Not that he expected much anyway. "I'm sure you all know what we're here to do today," He says, voice steady and confident. He even tries a tiny smirk. He's glad none of his team-mates can read minds. "Thank you for coming, by the way."
"You're all welcome to stay at the compound and your old rooms are exactly the same as you left them." He says, just barely glancing at them. His voice sounds almost robotic. It's better than shaky and nervous. It's true though. He hasn't been able to bear the thought of going into any of them. "Lang may also have his own room if he wants. You may all come and go as you wish and use all the facilities as much as you wish."
He gives them a wide, fake smile. They seem content with what they're hearing so far. Bucky seems a bit nervous though. He can't blame him. He would be too if he was in that situation. "All I ask is that I have the training room on Fridays from 5 PM to the end of the day." A couple og brows raise and furrow. Others look puzzled at him.
"Why would you need the training room for yourself?" Clint asks. Not in a rude, snappy way like he expected, just courious.
"It's not for me." He says, just now properly looking at them. He takes off his glasses.
Rhodey beats him to it. "It's for the kid he's mentoring." The others look at him in some sort of disbelief.
"Hah!" Wilson laughs. "Now I've heard that too."
As if on queue Peter peeps through the door. All eyes land on him. At least he has the decency to look ashamed for intruding on the meeting, but honestly, Tony's relieved. It gives him a moment to catch his breath. "Mr. Stark," He begins, but abruptly stopes when he notices he has an audience. "I, uh," He stutters and stammers for a moment, face slowly turning a glorious shade of red.
Tony taps his foot, crossing his arms over his chest and smirks. "What is it, kiddo?" He asks, amused.
"Pepper's wondering what kind of pizza you want."
"Oh!" Tony's brows raise. He had totally forgot about dinner. "I don't really care. You pick."
"Okay," Peter replies, sounding a little unsure, but accepting the answer nonetheless. "Bye, Mr. Stark."
"See ya later, kid! Remember to do your homework!" He shouts after him, knowing he can hear him perfectly because of his enhanced hearing. He has no excuse for not doing it.
It's quiet after Peter has left and Tony realizes he's going to have to get them back on track again. He clears his throat.
"I've set Barnes up for rehabilitation." Tony says. He looks at Bucky. "I can't force you to go, but I really think it would be for the best." Bucky nods. "I'm afraid the UN doesn't want him out of the compound if he doesn't take the offer--"
"What?!" Steve interupts him, banging his fists in the table making Tony flinch and heart speed up. For a small second he was back in Siberia being beaten to a pulp. He can tell everyone noticed by the way they look at him. He hopes they don't notice the way his hands are shaking. "That's ridiculous!"
"I don't make the rules, Rogers," Tony says to him. He hopes they don't hear how his voice shook. Steve sighs and sits back in his chair, quietly grumbling to himself. Tony takes this as his queue to continue. "You have all been excused, but if there is a mishap you won't get a second chance--"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Tony looks up from the tablet and inhales through his nose before answering. "It means if you break the law you won't be an Avenger anymore."
"What about you?"
"Well, technically I haven't broken the law, but the rules apply to all of us."
"Boss, Ms. Potts wanted me to i form you that the food has arrived." He checks the time on the tablet and sighs relieved. He silently thanks FRIDAY. "Now if you'll excuse me, I promised to be done by dinner. If you have any questions feel free to take them up with either me or FRIDAY." He gives them a quick smile before walking out of the room. He hears shuffeling behind, but he just assumes the others are getting up and leaving themselves until when he's outside the room and a hand grabs his shoulder.
"Tony?" It's Bruce.
"Yes?" He asks, quirking his head a bit.
"Are you okay?" He asks, sounding more worried out than Tony can remember ever hearing him.
"Yes, of course," He replies, but Bruce doesn't but it. He sighs.
"Be honest with me, Tony." He says. "Are you okay?" He asks again, this time more seriously.
Tony flashes him a sad smile. "I will be."