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“-n
-ean
Dean
Will you wake up, Dean!”
Dean groaned and buried his face more deeply in his thick, soft pillow.
“Dean it’s time to get up will you please get up?” Cas was impatient, shoving at Dean’s shoulder and digging his fingers into Dean’s back anywhere he knew it would be especially uncomfortable.
“Cas, where’s the damn fire?” Dean grumbled, turning to look at the clock. It glowed brightly in the darkness, 5:45 glaring at him like an accusation. “It’s not even six am, man,” his voice was rough and sleepy, barely audible as he growled the words into the pillow.
“Fine, I’ll go and pick up our daughter alone and I’ll tell her that only one of her daddies loves her,” Cas’ voice had taken on a whining tone that he knew would catch Dean’s heartstrings.
“Cas...” Dean began and then lifted his head from the pillow and stared at his husband, eyes wide in sudden realisation, “it’s today?” He almost whispered.
“It’s today,” Cas nodded smugly. He soon had the look wiped from his face, though, as Dean lunged forward and grabbed him around the waist, pulling him down to the bed with a joyous whoop, showering his face with kisses. Once he was thoroughly kissed into submission and lying on the bed, utterly relaxed, Dean grinned and jumped up, sauntering towards the attached bathroom.
“Can’t wait around for you all day,” he quipped then made a dash for the last few feet as a pillow plopped to the ground where he’d been standing mere moments ago.
~
Cas clung to his hand so hard he thought it was going to break off and he gave a gentle squeeze back to both reassure him and remind him that Dean needed circulation. Cas loosened his grip but looked no less nervous than before.
“It’s gonna be fine,” he murmured and Cas nodded but looked unconvinced.
“What if they don’t like us, what if they don’t like our house, what if they don’t want two guys raising a baby, what if-“ Cas’ voice was rising into hysteria and Dean turned toward him, looking him in the eyes.
“Nobody who meets you doesn’t like you, Cas, you’re awesome. Our house is beautiful, you’ve made us a home anyone would be lucky to live in. If they don’t want us cause we’re guys we’ll find somewhere that does. Stop panicking, everything’s gonna be fine,” he said, watching as Cas took in a deep, hesitant breath and then nodded. Dean pulled him close and kissed him gently a few times until he felt the other man relax.
“You’re right. We’ve both worked hard. There’s no reason for them to refuse us except our gender, and I did thoroughly research this particular agency before making the appointment to ensure they’d be amenable to a same-sex couple...” He sighed heavily.
“You’re just nervous, that’s understandable, I am too,” Dean shot Cas a half smile and Cas curled his arms around Dean’s waist, resting his chin on his shoulder.
“I just really, really want them to like us,” he mumbled and Dean chuckled.
“They will,” he hugged him back and then pulled away, not wanting to be caught in an awkward moment when the interviewers walked in.
They were only kept waiting a couple more minutes when a stern looking man and woman entered the small room and indicated they should take a seat.
“So, you are looking to adopt a child,” the woman began with no introduction and no preamble.
“Yes ma’am,” Cas replied solemnly.
“How long have you been a couple?” The man continued, both of them flipping through files with their names printed on them in neat handwriting. Dean felt a small thrill at seeing one folder that said Dean Winchester and a second folder showing Castiel Winchester. He twisted the band on his left hand nervously.
“Two years, married for six months,” Cas answered, his voice strong and unwavering.
“And for how long did you know each other prior to your relationship?”
“Five years.”
There was a moment’s respite as the two interviewers made notes and then the woman looked up at them. “So how many years in total have you known one another?”
Cas looked at her blankly, not understanding why she was unable to do simple mental arithmetic. “Seven years, nine months and twenty-three days,” he answered blithely and her eyebrows rose in surprise. Dean flushed and rubbed Castiel’s hand, it was just like him to be counting down to the days. Cas glanced sideways at him and they shared a small smile before the man cleared his throat loudly and they turned their attention back to the interviewers.
“How did you meet?”
They had discussed things like this and agreed that Dean would answer any questions that required outright lies – it wouldn’t look good on them for Cas to blurt out that he had pulled Dean out of Hell because he was an angel of the Lord, after all, and Dean would look outright psychotic if they admitted he’d both shot and stabbed Castiel when they first met.
“My dad’s best friend used to run a scrapyard, we met doing some work there for uncle Bobby,” Dean knew Bobby would never begrudge them using his name and business and it was safer than trying to use any of their other friends, who could be called upon to corroborate their story. “You could say sparks flew even then,” Dean murmured and Cas chuckled at the joke.
“Really? So why did it take you five years to enter a relationship?” The woman’s eyebrow quirked and she scribbled something else down on her file.
“You mean aside from the fact that I’m from Kansas?” Dean asked, amusement in his voice. “I was always raised that this sort of thing was wrong, unnatural. It took me five years to get to grips with the way I felt about Cas, and I regret every minute of that,” he finished sadly, Cas squeezing his hand in understanding.
“And I always believed Dean would never reciprocate my feelings, for much the same reason, so I avoided making them obvious so as not to make him feel uncomfortable in my presence,” Cas added, his formal tone more pronounced because of their situation.
“I see,” they scribbled a little more.
“You own a property nearby, do you have any objections to an inspection of the premises prior to our decision being made?”
“None at all, you’re welcome in our home,” Dean said, beaming. “Cas did most of the decorating, and picked out most of the furniture,” he laughed, “I’m better at fixing things up than making them pretty but Cas has an artist’s eye,” he gushed and Cas reddened at the praise.
“Indeed, we often find that is the case in same-sex couples,” the man rumbled, making another notation.
“And we will require a number of referees to vouch for your relationship and personalities,” the woman looked at them and her lips quirked in a tiny smile, “though I have a feeling we will have no trouble verifying the former.”
Dean reached into his jacket pocket and drew out a list of the people who had agreed to act as referees for them, it was a surprisingly long list since all of their friends had insisted they would be delighted to speak for them with the adoption agency.
“Do either of you have any experience with children?” Was the next question and Dean nodded.
“I basically raised my kid brother from the age of about four to the time he skipped off to college,” he admitted, “my dad was a bit of a, uh, deadbeat to be honest, so I took care of Sammy. He’s a lawyer now,” he added proudly, “graduated from Stanford with honors last year.”
Scribble, scribble, scribble.
“Uhm... I also had a girlfriend for a year about five years back, she had an eight year old kid. I took care of him like he was my own, though in the end we just didn’t work out...” He neglected to mention that Cas had taken away their memories of him, and was prepared to lie about Lisa and Ben if needs be.
“Understandable,” the man looked pointedly at Cas and they didn’t press further about that relationship.
“Castiel, you don’t have any childcare experience?” The woman asked, addressing them by name for the first time.
“Uh,” Cas started, looking a little afraid, “no, my siblings are all of an age with me and childless. I observed Dean’s year of surrogate fatherhood, however, and I am a quick study,” he smiled.
“Don’t panic,” the woman said, showing care for the first time, “it’s okay for you not to have experience. Biological parents usually don’t, we just like to gauge how much supporting literature to supply prospective parents, that’s all.” She smiled warmly and Cas couldn’t help but smile back, feeling more relaxed.
“Now the big question, gentlemen; why do you wish to adopt a child?” The man said, leaning back in his chair and twirling his pencil in his fingers like a tiny baton.
Cas and Dean stared at each other for a long moment, apprehension there as they each considered how to answer. This wasn’t one of their long, loving gazes but instead one of almost pure terror on Dean’s part – this was one question they had forgotten to rehearse.
“Dean loves children,” Cas started eventually and Dean flushed – it was true, he just hadn’t realised Cas knew since he never spoke of it – “and I love Dean. I know our life together would be more fulfilled with a child in it, and there are so many orphans who need stable, loving homes it seems selfish of us not to take one in when we are more than capable of providing that home.”
It sounded corny, Dean knew it did, but somehow coming from Cas they sounded so earnest, so sincere... He blinked a few times, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes at his husband’s casual declaration, and shuffled in his seat until he was pressed hard against Castiel’s leg, squeezing his hand tightly in gratitude.
“Dean, do you agree?”
Dean could only nod mutely, staring hard at his lap and willing away the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him. He took a deep, shaky breath and they waited for him to regain control. “Look, I never wanted anything in my life for myself. I grew up taking care of Sammy, and then my dad died, and then uncle Bobby and... lots of stuff happened in the last ten years. I honestly never figured I’d hit thirty let alone thirty-seven and married. And then there was Cas and I just,” he trailed off, drawing in another shuddering breath as Cas looked at him, one eyebrow raised – he hadn’t heard this speech before. “I finally found something worth holding on to, a reason to hang on after my brother didn’t need me anymore. Cas is my family... I want nothing more than to raise a couple of rugrats with him, bring them up better’n I was raised.” He silently cursed as a tear finally dropped and the woman leaned forward, handing him a tissue. “Thanks,” he growled, angrily swiping at his face, wondering what had come over him. “No kid deserves to go through life without knowing the love of parents, believe me cause I’ve been there,” he said quietly, “that’s all I gotta say.”
Cas stared at him and the interviewers shifted uncomfortably, looking away from the couple in front of them, not wanting to interrupt the emotional moment. Cas rested his head on Dean’s shoulder for a second while he pulled himself together and then they gave each other’s hand a final squeeze and looked sheepishly back to the two in front of them. “Sorry,” they both mumbled, flushed with embarrassment.
“No need to apologise,” the woman said, smiling, “it’s nice to see a couple so in love,” her own eyes were glittering with unshed tears and at that moment Castiel knew they were going to be okay. He smiled warmly at her.
“I think we can call it a day for now,” the man said, clearing his throat uncomfortably, “we’ll contact your referees and give you a call if we need you to come in again. We’ll be in touch about the home inspection, too.”
They left feeling giddy and stood for a few long minutes by the Impala just holding each other, kissing occasionally, grounding each other as they considered bringing a new member to their strange little family. Unbeknownst to them the two interviewers watched from the window of the adoption agency, smiling to themselves and thinking that these two guys would make perfect fathers.
~
A loud knock on the bathroom door jolted Dean from his reverie and he realised he’d been showering for an unnecessarily long time.
“Are you coming out today, or do I have to come in there and get you?” Cas called through the door.
“Tempting as that is, Cas, I’m coming, water’s cold anyway,” Dean called back, stepping out and wrapping himself in a towel, drying off quickly.
Dean’s leg bounced all the way to the adoption agency; Cas was driving the car he had picked out to be their ‘family’ vehicle since it was safer and more economical than the Impala, and so Dean was left with little to do but try to contain his rising excitement. When they pulled up he was out of the car like a shot and Cas followed him, grabbing his hand and pulling him in for a hug, trying to get his husband to calm down.
“Dean, she won’t go anywhere, relax,” he murmured against Dean’s cheek and Dean took a deep breath at Cas’ words, trying hard to push down the nervous excitement.
“I just can’t wait to see her again,” Dean said, pulling back to kiss Cas tenderly, “our daughter.”
“Yes, Mary Ellen Winchester,” Cas rumbled back and Dean felt warmth in his chest at the name they had agreed on for the baby.
They practically skipped up the steps and pushed through the doors like gleeful children themselves, neither able to stop beaming. Their smiles widened as the automatic doors to the centre opened and the female interviewer they’d met so many months ago walked through carrying a sleeping child in her arms.
“She won’t stay asleep long,” she murmured quietly, “so enjoy it while you can.”
Handing the baby off to Dean, Cas waiting nearby, and knowing that Dean wanted first cuddle she stepped back to allow them time to bond with their offspring for a few moments before they had to start with the official paperwork and final documentation.
“She’s so beautiful,” Dean said, his voice barely above a whisper. Cas just gazed lovingly at his awestruck expression, as enthusiastic about Dean’s reaction as he was about the baby.
“Can I hold her?” Cas asked eventually, desperately wanting to feel the child’s weight in his arms but reluctant to take her away from his husband. Dean nodded and kissed her tiny head before passing her over for Castiel to hold her close, gently rocking her as she began to fuss. “I love her already,” he said quietly.
“Me too, and I love you,” Dean murmured, resting his head on Cas’ temple as they both gazed adoringly at their daughter.