Chapter Text
The thing about being around Catra in real life again, Adora concluded three days later as she sat at the kitchen table Monday morning heroically trying not to have a nervous breakdown, is that once you got past the defensive barriers you found someone entirely too easy to love.
Which turned out to be a big fucking problem for her initial plan of trying to take it slow and catch up on the ten year gap between them. It was just so damn effortless, slipping back into their old dynamic.
"So wait a second. Let me see if I get this straight," Glimmer drawled from where she hung halfway over the back of the couch in her pink and purple pajamas looking like a glitter-bombed sloth. "Even after that big damn reunion--which took a lot to orchestrate, by the way--you still haven't woman-ed up and kissed the girl?"
Adora groaned, rolling her shoulders to try to get the tension loose as she drummed her fingers on the table. "Look, it's complicated, all right? We had enough to talk about as is regarding everything that happened without also heading into new territory-"
"Hold the phone!" Bow cut in, muting the tv and whirling around to look at her. "Ok, look: did we misread the situation or something? The way you always gushed about Catra and growing up together and how much you missed her and how damn hot she is-"
"Yeah, we kinda always got the impression you two had been girlfriends in a big way," Glimmer picked up the metaphorical baton. "So what's the deal?"
Adora frowned, leaning back in her chair and staring at the ceiling as she grappled with a way to explain that didn't involve a five hour crash course on what life in (F)Right Zone had really been like.
It wasn't that she didn't trust them, but even after years of therapy it was still so hard to think of herself as someone who had a right to talk about the abuse. Not when Catra and the others got it so much harder.
'Adora,' Dr. Hope's voice cut into her thoughts. 'Just because you weren't physically abused doesn't mean your pain is any less valid. It's not some competition; we all have our own ghosts to deal with.'
She kept reminding herself of that, but by the time the lesson really sunk in it was three years after starting BFS and she didn't know how to bring it up by that point. Man, screw emotional trauma.
"You okay there?"
"Yeah, just... Trying to find words that'll make sense," She exhaled heavily through her nose, and turned her head a little to meet Bow's gaze. "Basically it was like this: I loved her, and she loved me, and we were both very much on the same page about that. But it wasn't safe for us to be officially together."
"Wait..." Glimmer chewed her lower lip thoughtfully, brows creasing. "Don't tell me Right Zone was one of those weird 'pray away the gay' kinda places?"
Adora couldn't help the sharp laugh she responded with, remembering how absolutely over-the-top Pride Week got among the older kids--even to this day, it was weird remembering that there had even been straight kids present in the Fright Zone. Then again... Hets. Ew.
"No, for the most part the adults didn't give a crap who was involved with who as long as protection was involved and no one had to worry about STIs or unplanned pregnancies. Though there was still some bullying among the student body itself over interspecies relationships, but Catra had effectively made every racist kid in the place her bitch by the time we were fourteen, so she wasn't taking any crap in that quarter."
And damn if that didn't still bring a smile to her face (even as the other two exchanged a "What the-?" glance beside her.) Just remembering how Catra--now physically grown past the point where any of the other kids could try to bully her without the guarantee of needing serious stitches after--had begun reacting to every challenge with a "come at me" smirk and total confidence once it finally sunk in that things were different now...
Adora shivered.
"Anyway," She coughed, trying to play it off as nothing while she continued. "The problem had more to do with me.
"Not like me being a dumbass or not wanting to or anything like that!" She hastened to cut in as Glimmer opened her mouth. "It's just..."
Another sigh. "The headmistress, Ms. Weaver... I was her favored student, though that sure as hell wasn't the perk it sounds like. And she hated Catra. Like true, bottom-of-the-benighted-pit-where-most-people-have-hearts hate. She tried hard enough to keep us apart when we were just friends-" (But were we ever, really?) "-so we had no idea what she would do if word got out that we were in love. It wasn't safe."
The pained look on Catra's face when they were fourteen and Adora tried to kiss her for the first time, like she'd just been sucker punched. "We can't."
Adora drew back, her mind whirring broken-record sharp with, Oh God did I fuck this up? Catra's hand fisting her jacket to keep her in place, keep her from running. (And for the first time ever, Adora felt like running from her, felt that visceral need to get as far away as possible and maybe/definitely have a good cry because her heart was cracking under the weight of everything she was feeling in that moment.) Then Catra let out a low whine that derailed Adora's entire thought process.
"I want to," She murmured, tucking her head against the crook of Adora's shoulder. "Fuck, Adora, I want to. But if she finds out..."
They both shivered, and not in a good way. Adora instinctively wrapped an arm around Catra's shoulders, taking extra care to avoid touching the expanse of skin just below her shoulder blades. The area where...
Catra's breath against her neck as she turned her head to look at Adora, so close but so damn far that it made Adora heartsick with longing to close the distance.
"Just hold on," She whispered, bringing up her free hand to cup the back of Catra's neck and keep her as close as she possibly could. "We won't be in this place forever. She won't be able to control us forever."
It tasted like desperation. It sounded like hope. It was probably both, but either way Adora felt it from the bottom of her heart. And the words that went unspoken, but they both plainly understood...
She had never meant anything more in her life.
"So hang on," Glimmer cut into her thoughts with a little wave, jolting Adora out of the memory. "Again, let me see if I got this straight--or as straight as anything is about this situation: so you two have been pining for even longer than the ten year separation?"
Adora nodded.
"And the accident happened right when you were supposed to get out and finally be together?"
Another nod.
"And you were roommates?"
"That whole time?" Bow chipped in.
Adora stared, face completely deadpan, and Glimmer dragged a hand across her face. "Holy shit, Adora, how are you still alive?"
"I don't know!" She shouted back.
----------
So yeah. The end of their reunion went a little something like this.
"Oh my God. This is so cute I wanna throw up."
A snorting laugh. "Tell me about it. Even after ten years they still look like a big goofy golden retriever bundled up with grumpy cat. I mean, just listen to those purrs!"
Glimmer and Lonnie, Adora dimly recognizes as she fights feebly against the sleep and the warmth and the weight on her chest to try to resurface. Beneath her chin, there's the flick of furry ears brushing against her skin as Catra grumbles, obviously in the same predicament.
"Honestly, I'd let them stay like this if we could. Catra tries to play it off like she's fine, but she hasn't had a decent night's sleep in weeks."
"I feel ya. But we've distracted the venue owners long enough," And now there's a hand gently shaking Adora's shoulder. "C'mon, you big dork. We gotta get out of here so they can finish cleaning the place for the next concert."
Adora groans, nuzzling against Catra's mane and hearing an echoing 'mrrp' even as she forces her bleary eyes open to see both Lonnie and Glimmer standing beside the couch, simultaneously managing to look both extremely chill and insufferably smug. "How long...?"
"About three hours, give or take. But we gotta let the janitors do their job so they can go home too, so up and at 'em, sleepyheads."
'I would literally give them all my money and your car to stay like this,' Adora thinks, even as she blearily forces herself into a half-sitting position, arms still tight around Catra's shoulders. The woman in question finally seems to accept the way the wind is blowing, if the rather distracting huff against Adora's neck is any indication, and they reluctantly disentangle from each other to sit up on the couch properly (though their sides still touch.)
Catra--head in her hands as she runs her fingertips through her fur the way she always does when she's sleepy and needs to get up anyway--mumbles, "Thanks for letting us have this time alone."
"No prob, furball," Lonnie states simply, each of them reaching out a hand to help pull their respective band mates to their feet. "Much as you do for the rest of us, it was nice to give back for once."
"Here," Glimmer held out a single Styrofoam cup three-quarters full of black coffee. "It's not too strong, but it'll at least keep you both upright 'til we all get home."
Catra accepts the cup with a grateful nod and slams back half of the drink with a grimace before passing it to Adora. Their fingers brush, the contact sending little jolts of electricity through Adora's veins even as she chokes down the lukewarm drink to drown it out.
They look at each other for the first time since awakening, and Catra's eyes soften, voice small and hopeful. "Call me later?"
"Definitely," Adora replies a little breathlessly, patting herself down to figure out where the hell she stashed her cell. "Need me to give you my number...?"
"Nah," Glimmer cut in. "Your magnanimous band leaders have it covered. I'll text Lonnie your number once we get home."
"And vice versa," Lonnie adds.
Well that settles that. Talk concluded, the four of them exit the room, past a pair of very grateful looking janitors and walk down the long hallway to the door leading out of the stage. As they walk, Adora's hand brushes against Catra's and there's a corresponding touch as Catra's tail sways back and forth, grazing the backs of Adora's legs in a soft caress on each swing.
They exit into the cool night air, Adora shivering and wishing she'd thought to bring a jacket or something. It's gotta be past one in the morning; the parking lot is empty aside from No Plan B's tour bus pulled up to the curve, and Glimmer's hideous driving purple people eater pulled up behind it. It's spring, so it's not freezing, but it's still chilly this far from sunset. Adora braces herself for the walk to the cars...
Only to feel a sudden jolt of warmth as something wraps around her. Glancing over, she sees Catra sans suit jacket respectfully moving away. Catching Adora's expression, she smiles wryly. "You know I run hot."
'In way more ways than one,' Adora thinks, but at this point it's more an observation than her usual level of thirst; she's just too damn worn out to feel anything other than a vague sense of warmth and affection. "And I suppose the fact that I'll need to return it later had no influence on that decision?"
Catra just winks.
The four meander over to the vehicles, where both members of their crews are clustered in the middle chatting and joking with one another, and Adora's suddenly hit with the profound realization that this could be what she always wanted; both of her lives, the past and the present, finally merging into one. Even if Scorpia and Bow both make drawling "Awwww" sounds when they notice Catra's jacket around her shoulders, and the rest of the group just shares a nudge and a knowing smirk.
Then it's time to go. She looks to Catra, only a few feet away from her and still Adora has to suppress a whimper at how much she wants to close the distance. Her only consolation is that Catra seems to be in the same boat, judging by the subtle way her ears dip and her tail has wrapped itself around her leg.
Adora doesn't want them to be apart.
Lonnie, however, seems to mistake her apocalyptic levels of yearning for simple worry, because she slings an arm around Catra's shoulders and gives Adora a long wink and an ear-to-ear grin. "Don't worry, Adorkable. We're all just going back to me and Scorpia's place for the traditional post-tour living room camp out. Catra'll be just fine in our hands, and we'll make sure she calls you tomorrow."
Glancing over at the other members of No Plan B, she's met with knowing smirks, and Scorpia mouths something that looks distinctly like, "We got your girl." Adora's not even sure how she manages to convey a thumbs up with her claws, but somehow she does.
Oh fuck it.
Brushing Lonnie aside, Adora grabs Catra in a crushing hug, trying to convey everything caught in her throat in a single action. It only takes a split second for Catra to reciprocate, her maimed hand wrapping around the point where Adora's back meets her waist while her right hand finds Adora's left shoulder blade, pulling them both in so that their heads rest against the crook of each other's necks.
"This is not a goodbye," Catra says, pitched low so only Adora can hear, because she knows Adora needs to hear it right now. "This is a 'to be continued.' Got it?"
Adora nods, unable to say much of anything at the moment. They stay like that for what could be a minute or could be an eternity, until there's an awkward throat clearing beside them. Even then, it's difficult to break apart any way but slowly.
"Talk to you soon." Catra whispers, eyes locked on hers, and it's a promise.
Adora barely remembers the drive home after that, sitting in the back seat of the car while Bow tunes the station to smooth, inoffensive jazz instrumentals just to fill the silence, watching the street lights pass by and pulling Catra's jacket tighter around her shoulders. Thankfully, Glimmer and Bow both seem to understand that she's way too wiped out to engage much past that point, because once they get home and back into their apartment, they each just give her a quick hug and a soft "Good night" before returning to their own rooms.
Adora changes quickly into an oversized t-shirt and a pair of sports shorts before crawling under the covers, exhausted with her mind whirling through how much has happened in just one day: going from moping, to frustration, to exhilaration, to sheer elation, to anger, sorrow, love and Catra Catra Catra.
It's a lot to take in, so she curls up and surrenders to the embrace of sleep...
Only to have her eyes fly open when a single thought occurs to her. "OH SHIT, I FORGOT TO ASK IF WE'RE DATING NOW!"
----------
"Ok," Bow said, rubbing the bridge of his nose to try and massage away the beginnings of a little tension headache. "So we've established that you two have simultaneously managed to have the most ridiculous slowburn romance ever while also being completely aware of each other's feelings--and can I just say, 'Wow'?--and then you got separated by Catra's accident and the resulting traumatic fallout, and now you're finally back together after ten years of concentrated yearning."
Adora nodded. "Pretty much."
"Adora," Bow sighed. "That just means it somehow makes even less sense that you didn't jump Catra the instant you laid eyes on her."
"Seriously! Why are you even here?!"
"And please don't say 'it's complicated'," Bow interrupted before Adora could even fully open her mouth to respond. "Like yeah, we get it. It's super complicated. But please explain, because this is just kinda... WTF."
"Bow, you're twenty-eight years old. You can just say fuck."
"I'm also 99% sure my dads will somehow sense it and call me the instant I do. Now please just answer the question."
Adora groaned, rubbing a hand across the back of her neck. "Ok, look: a lot of stuff came out when we had our talk. Stuff that's gonna take a while for us to work through. Everything we had is still there for the most part, but there's also a bunch of new stuff as well. Which I guess is just natural from being apart for so long.
"And honestly, I'm okay with that. She's still the same Catra I fell in love with. She's just also... More, now. And I want to get to know that Catra too. I'm just getting used to dealing with both sides of that coin."
They hadn't had time to meet up over the past few days, partly due to them both still processing and partly because Adora had thrown herself back into her rewrites and No Plan B was getting swamped with requests for post-tour interviews from various entertainment news outlets. Though that hadn't stopped them from texting back and forth regularly, to the point where Adora was really glad she had unlimited data.
It was great, but also a little awkward. They were still trying to figure out how to approach the subject of their separation, and especially Catra's night terrors (and Adora was still trying to figure out how to process that in the first place, because even though it still sounded completely insane she also knew Catra wouldn't lie to her about something that important. And even if she was inclined to lie, she'd definitely be able to come up with something way more plausible then "yeah, I've spent twenty three years haunted by horrible nightmare visions of another me who is apparently a chaotic-evil supervillain with serious abandonment issues.")
Yeah. Talking about that was gonna be super weird for a while, though Catra was trying to give Adora more details when she could emotionally handle it. Just to help her understand.
"All right," Bow conceded with a smile. "We'll respect your decision for now. But we definitely reserve the right to an intervention if things get too ridiculous."
"Yeah, it can be the first meeting of the Concerned Bystanders of Useless Lesbians club," Glimmer added with a nudge and a wink.
"Why are you so insistent on that name?"
Bow smirked. "Because C-BUL is the perfect acronym for this situation."
"As in," Glimmer snorted with a mischevious grin. "'We see right through your bullshit.' And I still think you're making this waaay more complicated than it needs to be when you could be enjoying some serious sloppy makeouts."
Head in her hands, Adora sighed, hoping Catra was having better luck dealing with this than she was.
----------
"So, you wanna tell me why you haven't ripped her clothes off yet?"
Catra literally spat her coffee out, narrowly avoiding spraying it across her cell phone and most of the kitchen counter. "Lonnie, what the fuck?!"
Across from her, Lonnie rolled her eyes from where she was trying to cajole Star from his carrier, since it was Catra's week for custody. "Ok, look, I get it if you're trying to be a gentlewoman or whatever, but every single time you two make eye contact I feel like I could hold up a match between you and have it burst into flames. So what's the deal?"
"Look, it's complicated, okay?"
"Bitch, please," Lonnie snorted with a knowing smirk. "We've known each other for twenty years."
"What, are you going to jump out of a cake at my birthday or something?"
"Well now you've just ruined the surprise. You really don't wanna see me jump out of the cake? You insult me."
"I'm just thinking you should save the elaborate foreplay for your actual girlfriend and not your best friend without benefits."
"Har har," Lonnie deadpanned as she finally succeeded in coaxing Star out and stood upright, planting her hands on her hips and glaring at her. "Deflect all you want, Catra. Doesn't change the fact that you and I know damn well that 'it's complicated' is just code for 'it's really not, I'm just being an emotionally constipated idiot about this whole thing.'"
Catra sighed, setting aside her phone and massaging her temples with her good hand, running the other through Star's fur as he hopped up on the counter to greet her. "Do we really have to do this right now?"
"Well, why not? I mean, I know for certain that you don't have a hot date to get to. That's the problem, you useless-ass lesbian."
"Ok, fine." She breathed in deep through her nose as she felt her tension headache spike. "It's fucking great, okay? Every time I'm around Adora we slip back into our old rhythm so effortlessly it's like breathing. Like we were never even apart. But we were. And something inevitably comes along to remind both of us of that fact. In many ways we're the same Catra and Adora we always were, but in about as many ways we're not. And I guess I'm just..."
Catra breathed out hard, looking away as her ears flicked back and she felt a blush rising to her cheeks. "I'm taking my time trying to learn those new pieces. Because I want to see all of her, the way I used to."
There was a moment of silence before Lonnie snickered. "Dude. You know what's a good way to-"
"That's a hard no. I'm not going there, not yet. Also shut the fuck up."
"I was gonna say 'take her out to dinner and a movie if you want to learn more about what she's been up to,' you dumbass bitch. Damn, your subconscious is thirsty. Also, I'd call you out on the presumptuousness of that 'not yet,' but it's Adora, so I'll let it slide."
"Wait, what the hell's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that if we could find a way to turn Adora's baseline level of thirst for your furry ass into kinetic energy, we would singlehandedly solve the energy crisis. I'm talking full-on perpetual motion machine, free-electricity-for-the-masses kinda deal."
There went her entire thought process into a mess of gay screaming. Nope, nope, nope! Do not think about Adora being hot for you right now. Keep it together, Leandros, your life depends on it!
Failure: step one. Fuuuuuck...!
Catra stared at Lonnie in disbelief. "Remind me again how someone like you ended up with a sweetheart like Scorpia?"
"I like to think of it as God's apology for five very long years of dealing with the four of you making heart eyes at your respective SOs and another seven of watching you specifically pine your way into the fucking Olympic gold medal of useless lesbianism."
And Catra just sorta gave up on having a peaceful morning at that point. Man, I hope Adora's having an easier time of it than I am.
----------
Catra <3
Please oh please tell me you're free to get coffee with me. If Lonnie roasts me any more, I'm gonna be more charcoal briquette than Magicat.
Adora
Oh God yes. If Glimmer and Bow drag ME any harder I'll be more roadkill than pop star.
Catra <3
Awesome. I know a quiet little place I think you'll like.
The place in question ended up being a combined coffee shop/library and Adora unambiguously loved it, taking some time to browse the shelves until a hand tapped her on the shoulder. "Been waiting long?"
Turning, she was greeted by the sight of Catra wearing a grey short sleeved hoodie and ripped jeans, but the thing that really made her breath catch was that Catra had most of her mane pulled up into a high ponytail (though there was still plenty of fluff around her face and ears.)
Upon seeing Adora's jaw go slack, Catra chuckled. "I take it you like the look?"
"Most definitely," Like all of Catra's best looks, it was still a little rough around the edges, but she looked... How could Adora describe it...? Softer, somehow. More open.
Catra winked. "Looking pretty good yourself, hot stuff."
(Adora would only admit with a gun to her head how much time and consideration she had put into her outfit instead of just defaulting to a plaid shirt/jeans combo like any self-respecting lesbian; gray slacks, brown hiking boots, and a red jacket with the sleeves pulled up to the elbow over a black tank top, which she had chosen specifically so she would have an excuse to slip it off later and show off her biceps, because DAMNIT she had a pretty girl to impress!)
"Thanks," Adora grinned back, trying not to let on that her stomach was doing gymnastics, and nudged Catra with her shoulder. "Since you've been here before, got any recommendations?"
"Well, the double roast is pretty good and if you want to split a brownie with me, I'm game. It's been a few months."
Yeah, it had turned out that some of Adora's childhood caution had been valid. Due to being an even mix of both cat and human, Magicats could eat chocolate--unlike regular cats--but only in smaller doses and nowhere near as frequently as humans. There were even apps to keep track of how often they could do so. Catra had developed a fondness for the stuff based on years of sharing their birthday cupcakes, but she was still very careful not to overindulge.
After making their order and getting both their drinks and a plate with two forks, they found a two-person table at the far end of the shop up against the wall so they could put their backs to it and still comfortably talk to one another. While they split the brownie, they made small talk, catching each other up on what had gone on in the past few days.
"So yeah, even though I told her I was fine with taking things slow, Lonnie still dragged the shit out of me," Catra finished her summation (though from the blush showing through her fur, Adora had a sneaking suspicion that she wasn't divulging the whole truth. Not that she had any stones to throw; she hadn't told the full truth about her conversation with Glimmer and Bow either.)
"Well, can't say I don't know what that's like," Adora admitted with a wry smile, which shifted into a thoughtful expression as Catra took a sip of her coffee and she caught sight of her name written on the cup. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"
"I'll answer any damn thing you ask me. Shoot."
"Well, while I was going to Juilliard," They both cringed a little, but Catra gave her a reassuring smile and a tap on the hand and Adora powered through the discomfort. "I hired some investigators to try and find you."
Catra's ears shot up. "You paid people to look for me?"
The genuine surprise in her voice physically hurt her, but Adora turned her hand over and gently clasped Catra's fingers in her own (fully aware that it was her left hand, which she had noticed Catra still tended to default to for any task that didn't require too much manual dexterity), before saying softly, "Of course I did."
They looked at each other for a long moment, before Catra sighed with a self-deprecating smile playing across her lips. "Sorry. I didn't mean to imply you didn't care or anything. It's just... I spent so much time messed up in my head that part of me was convinced that after the stunt I pulled, you wouldn't even bother trying to find me. My therapist has me working on challenging those thought processes, but they still sometimes slip through."
"I get it. Really." Shades of Dr. Hope helping her acknowledge her own abuse.
Catra's smile softened. "So you had a question?"
"Huh? Oh, right. So I had them looking for you for about three years," Catra almost choked, but Adora kept steaming on through. "But they found almost nothing. No paper trail at all. About the only thing they could tell me was that you weren't dead. How the hell did that happen?"
"Ah," Catra scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. "Yeah... So I might have an explanation for that."
Adora said nothing, just watched as Catra glanced at her and waited for her to continue.
"Ok, I just want you to know that it wasn't something I hid from you deliberately back at the Fright Zone. It just... sorta never came up?" Adora's frowned, and she leaned in across the table when Catra muttered. "So, um, yeah... Catra isn't the name on my birth certificate."
Adora's brows shot up. "Wait, really?"
"Yeah," Catra mumbled, having given up on her neck and taking to rubbing her shoulder. "My birth name is C'yra Leandros the III. You can probably guess what that made my mother. But when I was just learning to talk as a kit, I couldn't pronounce my name correctly and called myself 'Catra' instead. Mom thought it was a hoot, and since it got pretty confusing around the house with two C'yras running about, the nickname more or less stuck."
"It's really pretty," Adora murmured. "C'yra, I mean."
"Thanks," Catra squeezed her hand gently. "Like I said, I wasn't intentionally hiding it or anything. It's just that after they both died there was really no one around to call me C'yra anymore, and by the time we met I didn't even think of myself that way. But on the rare occasions I do have to sign legal documents--not that I did that often in those three years--I was still legally obligated to use my birth name. Though I'll admit it is pretty convenient to avoid snooping paparazzi."
"I see," That explained quite a bit, actually. "Um... Do you want me to call you...?"
"I mean, if you want to," Catra shrugged. "Honestly, it doesn't particularly bother me either way. Though I would probably have to get used to hearing it again."
Hmm... Adora tucked that thought away for later. "I think I'll stick to Catra for now."
A chuckle. "Fine by me."
It was weird, Adora mused as Catra steered the conversation back into lighter topics: she had come to this meeting prepared to find revelations about the new Catra. And instead, she was finding out new things about the old Catra.
Maybe they're not so different after all.
----------
Later that afternoon, after she and Adora had parted ways with a long hug and a smile, Catra finished her sign-in and sat down to wait in the lobby of Bright Moon community psychiatry. She didn't have to wait long; despite the name it was a private company, which meant both added privacy for her now that she was officially in the public eye but also less patients to compete against for time slots.
"Miss Leandros, Dr. Micah is ready to see you now."
Smiling softly at the man's continued insistence on being known solely by his given name, Catra stood and strolled through the door, tapping once on the door to Micah's office before letting herself in.
"Well," Micah, the only man Catra had ever met who looked good with a top knot (it was probably the grey adding a distinguished touch), looked up over the top of his reading glasses and smiled at her. "If you'll permit a very bad dad joke on my part... Look what the cat dragged in."
Catra couldn't help but chuckle as she shook his hand. "Good to see you, Doc."
"Likewise," His laugh lines deepened along with the smile, before he gestured at the cozy armchair across from his desk. "Shall we get started?"
Catra settled back into the leather, which had a cushion that sank just right and little fist sized knobs protruding from the edge of the armrests so hybrids could grab on with their claws when feeling stressed without damaging the chair itself.
"So you've just completed your first big tour," Micah said as he checked back over his notes from previous sessions. "How do you feel?"
"Honestly? It was fucking incredible. I don't know what your taste in music is like, Doc, but we were on fire."
Micah chuckled. "Well, I do try to keep my work and home life separate like any proper therapist, but I may have heard a few songs by a certain band on the radio."
He looked up, an almost fatherly gleam in his eye. "You've come a long way since I met you."
"Thanks," Catra grinned, but her tail started thumping against the couch and she glanced away a little shyly as she continued. "Um... Something else pretty great happened."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. I um... I ran into Adora. Or rather, she ran into me, if you wanna get technical."
"That does sound like great news," He jotted something down on his paperwork. "I think a certain tell-tale tail is already giving me my answer, but for the sake of total transparency... How do you feel about that?"
"Amazing, if I'm being honest. I, uh... I told her about the dreams."
His eyes widened, leaning in a little. "That's a huge step forward for you, Catra. I take it she took the news relatively well?"
"Yeah, though she did threaten to suplex me off the couch first," They shared a laugh, while she gave him a brief rundown of the entire events of Friday. "But we're giving it another shot. Us, I mean. It's only been three days and I'm taking it slow so I can relearn her, so I don't wanna get ahead of myself but... Feels good."
"That's fantastic," Micah agreed, glancing over to the picture of his wife he kept on the wall. "It's always nice to be in love. Even when it's tough."
"Especially."
"That said... I do have one small concern."
Catra's nose wrinkled slightly, tail stilling. "Go on..."
"I worry that your keeping secrets will damage the renewed trust between the two of you, especially in a time when you should be most open with one another."
And Catra felt like the air had been driven from her lungs, her good hand lunging against the little knob for support. "How did you...?"
"I wouldn't have been your therapist for five years if I didn't have a good grasp of your personality by now, Catra," Micah pointed out. "So yes, I have noticed that you tend to be cagey around certain topics. Especially one topic in particular. Hey now, don't forget to breathe."
Catra sucked in a harsh breath, held it, and exhaled. "Sorry."
"It's all right. Some wounds cut right to the heart of us, and they can be very difficult to show to others, even trained medical professionals like myself. That said, the reason I am bringing it up is because if Adora knows you as well as our past discussions would indicate, she will likely pick up on the fact that you are hiding something sooner or later."
"Shit," Catra hissed, sinking her claws into the scratch knob almost as a reflex. "Look, Doc, if there's anyone in the world I can open up to about it, it would be Adora. But I'm not ready yet. I don't even know when I will be."
"And that's perfectly fine, Catra," Micah set down his pen and settled back in his desk chair, folding his hands. "Here's my advice as your therapist: simply be honest with her. Tell her that you do have a secret you are keeping, but that you just aren't ready to tell her yet, although you hope to do so someday. Waiting patiently can be difficult, but it's less difficult than repairing damaged trust if it comes out at a bad time."
Catra sighed heavily, shoulders dropping as she looked away and chewed it over. Thinking about Adora; how good it felt to be together again, how nice it was to be on the same wavelength.
How much she liked holding her hand.
"Yeah, okay."