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We stood in that orchard only for minutes. Our lips dancing together in perfect harmony. I brought my hand up and glided my fingers across the smooth skin at the nape of Sue's neck.
My heart was beating against my chest like a wild caged animal, trapped. Begging to be released. My blood felt like molten iron as it seared through my veins, heightening every touch and every caress. My lungs burned, they burned for oxygen but in the most pleasurable way. I knew right then that it was not oxygen I needed to survive, it was Sue. It was always Sue. I felt an invisible cord connecting us, constricting and bringing our aching hearts together as one.
Tears brimmed the corner of my eyes with all the emotions that were flooding my system. How was it possible for one person to cause such a reaction? It wasn't anything biological or anything that could be explained. It just simply, was.
I felt Sue lean away slightly, leaving just enough space for our lips to still be brushing. I couldn't open my eyes, I wouldn't. That meant coming back to reality. Where I was the freak Emily Dickinson who was destined to be a housewife and she was Sue Gilbert who was engaged to my brother.
"Emily"
And just like that the invisible cord linking us was snapped and we were right back under the apple tree and no longer in our own world.
"Emily" I heard her voice more clearly this time, as if my head wasn't underwater anymore. Her soft hands were cupping my cheeks, grounding me to earth "we have to go back"
"Nooo" I whined, going back meant going back to pretending like I wasn't madly in love with my best friend
I heard the brown haird girl laugh softly before taking a step back "I don't want to go either, but we must. Austin will be worried"
I groaned loudly before pulling her body back to mine "we've only been gone a few minutes"
"Emily, we must go" Sue grabbed my hand and led us back down the path.
"You got my note then" I spoke up, interlocking our fingers
"Yes" she smiled before looking down at our hands "quite strange as always Miss Dickinson"
"It's my specialty" my heart flipped in my chest when I felt Sue's thumb rubbing circles on my skin
"Your father won't be impressed" she mumbled
"Yeah, well" I hopped over a fallen branch before turning around to assist Sue over. I took her hand and helped her over the branch "my father will never approve of anything I do anyway"
"I'm sorry Emily, you don't deserve this"
"You're right, I don't" I turned to look at the shorter woman before smirking slightly "but it makes for some damn good writing material"
We arrived back at the house a few minutes later, the daunting building loomed over us both. I couldn't help the way my heart fell in my chest when She dropped my hand before I opened the door. I scanned the immediate rooms and sighed in relief when I didn't see my mother. I did however hear Austin and my father discussing something in his study. I turned back to Sue and put my finger to my lips, indicating for her to be quiet.
We snuck from the front door all the way up our creaky staircase and finally into my bedroom. I let Sue enter first and I shut the door behind us with a sigh leaving my lips. I let the hard wood of the door support my weight as I briefly shut my eyes.
"Is this what you're working on now?"
My eyes snapped open quickly and I saw Sue standing by my desk, her fingers brushing a piece of parchment paper that had a few scribbled words in black ink. I quickly realised what was on that paper and I rushed over to the other woman. Sue caught my action before I could get to her and snatched up the paper, holding it out of my reach.
"Emily Dickinson, what is on this paper?" She joked, keeping a hand on my shoulder so I couldn't grab the delicate piece of parchment.
"It's just a poem I've started and it's not finished"
"So I guess you want it back, right?" I saw a gold glint in her eye and it almost made me stumble at how beautiful Sue looked right now. Hair slightly out of place, specks of dirt on her face from being in the orchard and a wide smile on her gorgeous lips.
"Y-yes, I want it back" I took a step back and readied myself to jump on the younger woman if I had to.
"Ok, I'll give it to you" she lowered the paper but not completely, keeping it just out of reach "on one condition. You have to promise me something now"
"Of course, you drive a hard bargain Miss Gilbert. Alas I will play along, name it" I folded my arms across my chest and stared into Sue's brown eyes.
"Promise you won't leave me" her voice was weak and suddenly only as loud as a whisper. My eyebrows furrowed at her sudden change of character from playful to forlorn.
"What?" I let my arms drop before quickly taking a step forward, this time Sue didn't stop me "what's going on, Sue?"
"Emily, just" I watched as her bottom lip started to quiver slightly. I instantly closed the distance between us and pulled her into a tight hug.
"Sue, tell me what's going on in that head of yours" my words were soft as I placed my hand on the back of her neck, rubbing soothing circles on her warm skin.
"It's just, now that Mary's gone I have no one. I have no one anymore Emily. Except for you. If I lost you I don't, I-... Emily I can't-
"Ok ok, shhh" I pulled Sue closer and let her bury her face in my neck. I felt warm tears slide down my collarbone but I didn't care. I let them map out my skin as I rubbed circles on the the smaller woman's back "Sue, look at me"
When the younger woman moved her head up I cupped her tear stained cheeks with my hands "I promise you, I am not going anywhere. I will never leave you, do you understand? I will always be here for you"
"You promise?" Her voice cracked and so did my heart along with it, for she sounded so broken
"I promise Sue, on my life I swear it"
I watched her nod her head before pulling me back into a hug. We stayed there for a few minutes. Sue's sobs eventually turned to whimpers which turned to shallow little breaths. When I felt like she had calmed down enough I took her hand in mine and gently led her to my bed.
"Come, stay with me. At least for a little while"
It should of been awkward lying together when we both were wearing big uncomfortable dresses, but it wasn't. It felt right, it felt natural. So why would the rest of the world care so much? Why did everyone else have to have an opinion on what didn't concern them?
"Thank you, Emily"
I looked down at Sue who was resting her head on my shoulder, her fingers were softly tracing my collarbones like she usually does. I don't think she has any idea of the effect she has on me
"For what?" I whispered
"For being here with me, for everything. None of this is easy for you, me and Austin getting married and the fact that we'll be moving in next door. Yet you stay with me, you continue to be with me"
"I stay because I'm in love with you Sue. I'm so madly in love with you that I fear I'm losing my mind"
"We must be insane" Sue laughed softly, moving so she could look up at me.
"Sometimes madness is the only cure for a sane person"
There was a comforting silence between us both before the brunette spoke up "have you any idea how attractive your poetic side is?"
"I have some notion" I joked, earning a chuckle from Sue.
"Emily?" She whispered. I hummed in response, my eyes slightly droopy with fatigue.
"Would it be ok if we took a nap?"
"Do you know what Sue?" I mumbled, wrapping the smaller girl closer to my body "that sounds like a pretty good idea"