Work Text:
Tony was sipping on his second cup of coffee when he entered the workshop, smiling at the way it came to life when he walked through the door. "FRIDAY? Let's get started where we left off yesterday. Bring up the plans for the new thrusters and why don't we go ahead and start warming up the CNC laser cutter. I want to be able to start on the prototypes the second we finish up the new calculations on the thrust vector controls.", he announced as he sat down at his before his holo-table and began to manipulate the images while continuing to rattle off various numbers and equations. Though he didn't get terribly far before he heard the window sliding open.
Seeing as it was before nine in the morning on a Tuesday Tony's head shot up at the noise. There was only one person who could enter the lab that way without setting off a perimeter breach warning and that one person should be at school. "Pete? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in class right now?", he asked once he got a glimpse of the red and blue spandex that was slowly approaching him.
"Well...", Peter began with a deep breath. "I mean... yes but--"
"--Does May know you're not in school?", he asked without allowing the kid to further explain himself.
Peter shifted on his feet as he tried to decide how to answer that question. This wasn't exactly going the way he'd planned. He'd not been expecting so many questions right off the bat. "Not, not especially? I mean, she'll know eventually because they'll send out an absence message but if you call her and tell her I'm with you then--"
That was more than enough to set little warning bells off in his head and Tony was rapidly standing up and ushering the teenager back towards the window from which he came. "--Nope! Not a chance. Whatever it is, I'm not involved. Get out of my lab. Go to school.", he said without any room for argument but that didn't stop the kid from trying.
Digging his heels into the ground to keep himself from being pushed across the room, Peter began to protest. "Mr. Stark! I'm not going to school and you can't just shove me out the window and make me.", he said with more passion than he probably should have but he was there for a reason and that reason was to avoid school.
Being unable to remember a time where the kid had ever back talked him Tony snapped, "What did you just say?", but it was out of disbelief more so than anger.
"Wait! I take that back. I mean, sort of. ...but I really can't go to school, Mr. Stark. Will you please call Aunt May and--"
"--Kid. I don't harbor, nor create false alibies for junior delinquents in my lab.", Tony replied with his hands on his hips as his jaw clenched with authority.
"I'm not asking you to, Mr. Stark! Not, really... I just... I can't go to school today.", Peter defensively spat before his voice dropped into a petulant whine. "...It's picture day..."
Shaking his head in bewilderment, Tony crossed the room to stand in front of Peter. "What does that have to do with anything?", he said pausing for the teenager to begin his explanation only to turn around and cut him off before he could get out a singular syllable. "...and take off that mask off. I want to be able to look at you when I'm talking to you..."
Swallowing hard, Peter took a half of a step backward. "No.", he said, while shaking his head hesitantly, he knew it was a bad idea to refuse like that but he really didn't want to take his mask off. Not yet anyway.
"Peter...", the man said warningly and that was enough to get Peter to comply. The man never called him by his actual name and he wasn't really sure what to make of that.
Taking in a deep breath, Peter slowly reached up and grabbed ahold of the back of the mask but he paused for a moment to exhale before finally pulling it off. Then he just stood there as his mentor looked him up and down.
It didn't take long for Tony to figure out what was amiss and question it. "What's going on with your hair there, Kid?", he asked once he'd laid eyes on a patch of curls that were clumped together while simultaneously wildly sticking out in every direction. Not in the 'I didn't brush my hair this morning' kind of way but more of a 'something is definitely off' kind of way.
Sighing deeply, Peter dropped down into the nearest chair as though he had completely deflated. "I fell asleep with gum in my mouth and it got in my hair. I realize how that sounds and I don't want to talk about.", he grumbled and when his mentor began to chuckle at his predicament he started to glare. "...Stop laughing! It's not funny, Mr. Stark."
"I'm sorry, Buddy.", Tony said softly as he crossed the distance between them in order to get a better look at the Sticky mess. Once he had his hands in it, he realized it was more than just one small spot. While it appeared to be concentrated in one area it also seemed to have spread everywhere. "How much gum were you chewing, kid?"
"I don't know. It was those cheap pink bubble gum pieces. Whenever the flavor ran out, I just added a new one. ...maybe four? five?", Peter replied feeling more or less mortified by the entire situation but at least the man understood why he didn't want to go to school now.
Stepping back and wiping his hands on his jeans, Tony sighed. "Alright. So... I'll call May--", Tony started.
"--but don't tell her about the gum!", Peter hurriedly interjected hoping that wouldn't bring on any more questions. However, it was Tony he was talking to so of course, it did.
Quirking a suspicious eyebrow, Tony held up a hand in question. "What? I have to tell her about the gum. ...that's why you're here."
"No, I'm here so May won't think I just skipped school, Mr. Stark.", Peter returned, undaunted by the man's skepticism. "I can get the gum out before she gets back home and she'll never know the difference."
Still slightly confused as to why the kid was keeping gum, of all things, a secret from his aunt, Tony pressed on. "...and she can't know about the gum because...?", he asked because it really made no sense.
Dropping his head into his hands and staring directly into his lap, Peter sighed once again. "...because she saw me chewing it in bed last night and warned me not to go to sleep with it in my mouth.", he grumbled, ignoring the way the man was staring at him with humor.
"Right. So, I'll be telling her why you're here...", Tony said, without pause as Peter uttered a quiet, 'traitor' under his breath, "...and then we can try to get that mess taken care of. Capisce?"
All Peter could do was nod his head in agreement.
~o~o~o~o~o~
An hour later, they were upstairs sitting in the kitchen, where Tony was meticulously picking through Peter's peanut butter covered hair. "I'm not sure this is working, kid", the man said as he continued to attempt to loosen the strands of hair from the pink glob. They had already attempted freezing it but there was so much hair involved that it made no difference what so ever. "I feel like I'm making it worse."
"It can't possibly get any worse.", Peter groused from where he sat.
Taking a step back Tony looked at his handy work and frowned. "This is definitely worse. Come lean over the sink.", he breathed out in exhaustion despite the early hour. "Let's wash this out and try something else."
Peter begrudgingly stood up and leaned over the kitchen counter in order to allow his mentor to quickly rinse away the copious amounts of peanut butter that had been spread over his head. Though, even after he was done and had begun to pat the unaffected hair dry the smell of peanuts lingered. "What are we trying next?", he asked before sitting back down on the uncomfortable kitchen chair.
"Well, your aunt seemed pretty confident that the whole peanut butter thing was going to do the trick. FRIDAY suggested vinegar or toothpaste. Do you have a preference?", Tony asked, already pulling the vinegar out from the cabinet and preparing himself to disappear down the hall to retrieve the toothpaste. Though if he was being honest he was fairly dubious about the effectiveness of any remedies at this point. "...or we could just get it cut..."
"No! We are not cutting my hair.", Peter firmly asserted. He was willing to put up with an endless stream of random household products if it meant leaving his hair intact. "Just... try the vinegar I guess.", he mumbled under his breath.
After unscrewing the cap to the bottle, Tony brought it up to his nose and took a brief whiff, twisting his nose at the scent. "You sure? I think we should try toothpaste first. It stinks less.", Tony suggested but he didn't actually wait for a response before he was taking off down the hall, returning moments later with a large tube of it in his hand. From there, he started working the minty paste into the knots before turning around wash his hands again. "Alright, we need to let that dry. You doing, okay?"
Wrinkling his nose up at the way the smell of mint was mingling with the lingeringly scent of peanuts, Peter let out the breath he'd been holding. "This is really gross.", he finally replied.
"Yes, it is.", Tony agreed without pause but he was smiling. "...but at least you don't have to have your hands all in it."
"That's true.", Peter said with a small smile of his own. "Thanks for doing that part."
Tony leaned back against the corner and smirked at the boy in front of him. "Well, you came all this way, I figured the least I could do would be to help you out. That and I find this entire situation highly amusing. "Which reminds me... Why were you chewing gum in your bed in the first place?"
"Oh, I read somewhere that chewing gum can improve concentration during visual memory tasks and benefit some areas of cognition. I have a history test coming up so I thought I would give it a try."
"Hmm.", Tony hummed ambiguously. "I guess we see how well that worked out for you, huh, kiddo? Maybe next time you should skip the gum and just pay attention in class."
"Maybe.", Peter agreed as he sat up further in the chair so that Tony could resume his attempts to loosen the cohesive substance from his hair. Though it seemed he was being much more aggressive about it this go around and after a few minutes of constant tugging was starting to hurt. "Ow! Do you have to pull at it that hard, Mr. Stark?"
"Depends. Do you want me to be able to actually get it out of your hair?", Tony asked with an eyebrow quirked, though he did remove his hands for a moment to give the kid something of a break. He had been yanking at it with a fair amount of force and it probably was getting painful.
Peter squinted his eyes and attempted to rub the soreness from his scalp but that only resulted in his hands being smeared in toothpaste as well. "I mean, yes, but I would also like for my hair to still be attached to my head when you're done.", he ever so slightly whined.
"So picky.", Tony teased before tossing a towel in the kid's direction so that he could wipe off his hands and then went back to working his way through the mess. This time with a comb. Although that tactic didn't seem to be going any better than the last and when the kid flinched in protest for the fourth time, he'd had enough. "Seriously, why don't we just have it cut and call it a day."
"No.", rigidly replied, maintaining his stance that his hair would come out of this unharmed no matter what. Even so, he was ready to have the man stop jerking a comb through it. "Maybe we should just skip to the next option, though. This one hurts."
Nodding his head, Tony gestured for Peter to return to the sink so that he could wash out the dry chalkiness. That way they could move on to the next suggested method. "Peanut butter, mint and vinegar... We should order Thai for lunch.", Tony smirked once he had begun to saturate the kid's hair in the sour liquid. He'd meant it as a joke but seeing as it was nearing eleven-thirty, Peter was more than happy to ignore the humor.
"That actually sounds really good, Mr. Stark. Can we get some of those fresh basil rolls?", Peter asked with a smile. He knew the man had been kidding but he'd been sitting there for over two hours now and he was hungry. He would have agreed to a peanut butter and mint sandwich at that point.
Tugging lightly at the back of Peter's hair so that he would look up at him, Tony grinned. "You mean the ones that come with the peanut sauce?"
"Yep.", Peter replied, making a point of not dignifying the man's attempts to rile him up. After that, Tony rolled his eyes and went back to working the vinegar though his hair. "Is it coming out this time, Mr. Stark?", Peter asked when the only noises that seemed to be coming from the man behind him were small grunts of frustration.
"Nope.", Tony sighed out in annoyance before attempting to bring his tone back to something a little more placating. "Look, kid, I think we need to seriously consider cutting it. It's--"
"--I don't--", Peter started but Tony made no effort to hear him out. He already knew what he was going to say. They'd already had this same argument several times.
"--Hear me out, Pete.", Tony said as he held his hands up in defense. "Look. There is a lot of gum here and it's everywhere. We could put some of every condiment I own on your head but it's not coming out.", he stressed, mostly because he was done participating in the fruitless endeavor. All of the other 'home remedies' they's found sounded redundant. If peanut butter didn't work, coconut oil wasn't likely to work either and he didn't want to waste their time. "I'm pulling rank here. We're done."
"I really don't want to cut it...", Peter whined but he realized the man was right. It wasn't coming out but that didn't mean he was going to enjoy the resulting haircut.
Placing a hand on the boy's sagging shoulders, Tony tried to smile. "I know, Buddy but there's really no way around this and it'll grow back."
"Yeah but that'll take forever and make-up pictures are in a week.", Peter lamented. "... and they're the yearbook pictures."
Tony laughed lightly at the dramatics and moved his hand from Peter's shoulder to the back of his neck where he gave it a gentle squeeze. "Why is that such a big deal? It's one picture."
"Yeah but that's the one picture that's going to immortalize what I looked like in tenth grade and I don't want it to be a reminder of the time that I had to shave my head because of some stupid gum. That and if I cut all my hair off I'm going to end up looking like Emenin or Justin Timberlake or something and I'll never hear the end of it because it's in the yearbook, Tony. It will just keep coming up until the end of time, all because I wanted to do well on a history test.", Peter ranted without taking a singular breath causing him to practically gasp at the end.
For a few seconds, all Tony could do was blink back at the kid as he attempted to take in that amount of, teenaged logic all at once. "Wow. You've...you've really put a lot of thought into this, huh, kiddo?", he finally uttered once he'd been able to fully process it all.
"Well, I've been sitting here forever. I had to think about something.", Peter nearly snapped back but he wasn't aggravated at Tony as much as he was with himself and the man seemed to know that since he was now back to smiling at him.
"Maybe that something should have been figuring out a good explanation for your new look...", Tony began to tease. "...because 'I got gum in my hair' probably isn't the way to go.", Tony suggested but when all Peter did was squint his eyes in his direction he decided that maybe it wasn't the time to be messing with him. So rather than continuing that line of conversation, he attempted to mollify the overly-dramatic teenager with the first offer that came to mind. "Look, how about this... you let me get your hair cut and I'll buy you all the hats you could possibly want. A lifetime supply. Let's just get this over with, already.", he practically begged and when Peter finally agreed he wanted to cheer in weary triumph.
~o~o~o~o~o~
Several helpings of lunch and one long bickering conversation later, Peter was still sitting in the kitchen instead of in a barber's chair as Tony wanted. Not because the kid was back to refusing a haircut so much as he was being annoyingly persistent that he didn't want to go out in public with his hair as it was. Especially since they were 'just going to shave it all off anyway'. Which is how Tony ended up standing behind him holding a pair of clippers. "Here we go, you ready?"
"No.", Peter replied with a glare even though he knew the only correct answer was 'yes'. He was locked in at this point.
Rolling his eyes, Tony resisted the urge to smack the disgruntled boy on the back of the head. "Okay, so that was the wrong question. Let me try again. Are you prepared for me to turn the clippers on because they're loud.", he blandly explained and this time Peter nodded his head, cringing slightly when he felt them make contact with the side of his head. Then as the tufts of hair started to fall into his lap and onto the floor, he was thankful that he wasn't sitting in front of a mirror because he was almost sure his eyes were trying to water.
It didn't take terribly long for Tony to cut all of the untangled hair and he was soon working his way under the matted portion. Peter could tell by the way the clippers were pressed up against him that removing that hair was more difficult than expected but it seemed to be working so he didn't say anything. Not much longer after that, Tony ran his hand over his nearly bare head and brushed some of the stray hairs off of his shoulders. "This isn't so bad...", he said once he'd made his way around to the front and trimmed away a few strands he'd missed in the initial pass.
"Yes, it is, Mr. Stark.", Peter replied, still holding onto a fistful of his own hair. Then, when Tony held up his phone and activated the front-facing camera so that he could see it for himself, he turned away. "Thanks, I hate it."
"It looks fine, kid.", Tony mildly argued even though he could admit that he was so used to see the kid with a head full of tamed curls that it was a little weird. Not bad. ...just different. It would take some getting used to. "It's just hair."
"Yeah, sure. It's just hair.", Peter hesitantly agreed as he ran his hand over the top of his fuzzy head and down his neck. "It'll grow back."
"It will.", Tony said with a smile before gently patting the kid on the shoulder. "..and the good news is... you can't get possibly get anything stuck in it now. So, you're free to chew gum in your bed. You know what? On second thought, no, you're not. Next time you might choke on it. I swear to god, this kind of stuff only happens to you. "
"Shut up.", Peter half-laughed because the man wasn't wrong.
"So rude to me...", Tony returned with mock offense. "...and here, I, Tony Stark, just gave you a haircut. This was a once in a lifetime achievement for you, kid. Do you know how many other people can claim to have experienced that? None, zilch, zero. This was just you. "
"That's because no one else wanted you to cut their hair. Look at me, Mr. Stark. Clearly you suck at it.", Peter flatty replied but he was trying to smile all the same.
"Hush you. It looks fine.", he stated seriously before swatting him with a towel and pointing towards the guest room that had been designated as his. "Now, go shower off, so we can go back downstairs. It would be a waste of time to send you back to school at this point and it's technically lab day so, we may as well get an early start!"
Glad to hear that he could spend the rest of the day there, Peter took off down the hall with a resounding, "Yes, sir!"