Chapter Text
When Peter is 4 years old, he learns about death. To him, death is the phone ringing right before he’s about to go to bed. It’s his Aunt May’s grief-stricken face when the person on the other end of the line tells her the terrible news. It’s Uncle Ben’s strong voice when he talks about his brother and his sister-in-law in the church. It’s the itchy suit and soggy shoes he wears as he watches two chestnut caskets sink lower into the ground. And it’s the overwhelming wave of sadness he feels two days later when he finally realizes that his parents were never coming back. His aunt and uncle tried their best to console him, but how do you comfort a 4-year-old who’s too smart for his own good and just wants his mama?
There are tears and sobs as he works through it all. Aunt May just holds him close and runs her soft fingers through his hair, hoping she can take some of his pain away. Sometimes there are dreams were he’s walking between his parents, his hands reaching to grasp theirs, and they’re just so happy. Then he wakes up and it breaks him all over again. The pain soon fades but what’s left is the emptiness. Uncle Ben tries to make the hollow smile on his nephew’s face regain some of the mirth from before, but nothing works. Peter just floats through the days, not talking much and so unlike what the average kid should act like but one afternoon, he’s sitting in front of the TV watching a Tony Stark press conference. Peter’s still a huge fan but not even the cool inventions of Stark Industries could really cheer him up. Then Mr. Stark uttered 4 words that changed everything.
I am Iron Man
Peter leaps from his seat and crawls closer to the TV. Aunt May jumps from her seat a little at the sudden movement but composes herself fast enough to catch the spark of life in her nephew’s eyes. “Peter?” she calls, and she sees a smile grow on his face. “He’s a real-life superhero.” Says Peter. The awe and adoration in his voice is clear. “He got lost and came back a superhero.” Aunt May smiles. “Can I be a superhero too?” He turns to look at Aunt May who smiles and realizes that Peter is going to be okay.
Over the next few years, Peter comes back into his normal bubbly self. He’s hyper, excited, and obsessed with Iron Man. Everything in his room is Iron Man themed. He’s got sheets, pajamas, posters, action figures but his favorites are the books. These books are about Tony Stark, the man, the myth and the legend and Peter can’t get enough. As a 6-year-old, he’s incredibly smart, absorbing as much information about his hero as possible so for his 7th birthday, Uncle Ben and Aunt May surprise him by taking him to the Stark Expo. On the way there, he’s practically vibrating with excitement, talking non-stop about what he hopes will be there. The other people on the bus smile at him with his Iron Man mask and light-up gauntlets.
The Stark Expo is everything he’s ever imagined and more. The three of them are near the back of the crowd but Peter doesn’t care. The huge screens on either side of the stage provide a close-up view of what’s happening, and Uncle Ben let him sit on his shoulders to see better. Justin Hammer was talking about his iron fleet when suddenly, Iron Man appears behind him. “Uncle Ben! That’s him! That’s Iron Man!” Peter yells, squirming with enthusiasm. Uncle Ben starts to scold him for moving too much when the screams start. Hammer’s robotic fleet was attacking, and people were running. Uncle Ben put Peter on the ground and pulls him towards the exit. Peter tries to keep up but he trips, losing the grip on his uncle’s hand and landing on the ground. Tears are forming in his eyes as he struggles to get up but he catches a glimpse of Iron Man flying in the sky and refuses to let them fall. I can be brave like Iron Man. He thinks. He starts to run towards where he thinks his aunt and uncle were heading when he hears something behind him. A robot flies down and stares at him. Peter can feel the tears coming back and the fear taking root in his gut, so he takes a deep breath and raises his hand, aiming the gauntlet at the robot. He can hear the whine of a laser but before it fires, the robot explodes. Startled, Peter jumps and turns around coming face to face with his hero. “Good job kid.” Iron Man says and then he’s gone. Peter stands there, staring up at the sky where Iron Man went until a kind policeman finds him and reunites him with Aunt May and Uncle Ben. There are tears in Aunt May’s eyes and Uncle Ben hugs him tightly, relieved. “Iron Man saved me.” He says dazedly. That’s all he can say the whole way home and he goes to bed dreaming of his hero.
When goes to school on Monday, he tells his best (scratch that: only) friend Harry how he met Iron Man and how he was saved by him. Harry is so excited for him and they spent the rest of the day drawing pictures of Iron Man and the inventions they want to make when they get older. They get interrupted by some mean kids from the 3rd grade. “What are you babies doing?” asks the biggest kid. He rips the papers from them and laughs. “Is that you?” he points to Peter’s drawing of what happened at the Expo. “Y-Yeah.” He stammers. “Iron Man saved me.” The bullies laugh, Harry and Peter are trying to sink lower in their chairs and hoping they’ll just go away. “You’re funny, Parker. You think people are gonna believe you?” Peter’s heart sank. Harry looked up at them. “I do.” He says. The bully just stares down at him. “Well you’re a dumb little kid. What do you know?” And with that he rips up the drawing, letting the pieces fall to the floor. Peter’s eyes well up. “Oh look. Baby’s gonna cry.” The older boys laugh as Harry and Peter pick up their drawings and run away. They run to their favorite hiding spot under the stairs, but they can still hear the laughter down the hallway.
Middle school doesn’t start as well as Peter hopes. Harry’s dad sent him away to some fancy boarding school across the country after his mother died, so his only friend is gone. He must face the world alone. The bullies from elementary school continue to torment him and it’s easier for them now that he’s by himself. He spends all of 6th grade with his head buried in his books, and wishing he had the power to turn invisible so he can avoid the bruises that form when those bullies jump him on the way home.
In the summer, he spends a lot of time in the library, trying to learn about anything and everything but it’s also a place where the bullies won’t bother him. He loves learning and he’s especially gifted at physics, chemistry and biology. He’s holding a stack of books so high that he doesn’t see the other person in the aisle and collides right into them. “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you there.” He scrambles to gather his books when the stranger speaks. “Whoa. No worries, kid.” His voice is smooth and deep and when Peter looks up, he sees green eyes and a handsome face. The stranger examines the books strewn about around them. “Wow. That’s a lot of books. Need a hand?” Peter nods and then stranger helps him carry his books to his favorite table. “The name’s Skip by the way.”
Skip Westcott is 18 and when he smiles, he makes Peter feel all warm inside. He calls him ‘Einstein’ and treats him like an equal. Aunt May and Uncle Ben think Skip is just a wonderful young man, mentoring Peter and making sure nobody bothers him. Peter is just ecstatic that he’s made a special friend. He stays with him when both his aunt and uncle are working late and takes him on little trips to cool places around the city. When school starts, Skip picks him up and drops him home. To May and Ben, Skip is a godsend. It’s the same for Peter. At first.
At first, Peter didn’t even register what was happening. They were lounging on Skip’s couch without their shirts on. Skip suggested it since it was still relatively hot for a September day. Peter didn’t think anything of Skip’s hand on his thigh. Skip was always hugging him and patting his back. This was no different. “Hey, Einstein.” Peter, blushing slightly at the nickname turned to look at him. “You’re pretty for a baby.” Peter frowns. “I’m not a baby.” Skip just smiles. “Oh yeah?” “Yeah I’m almost a teenager!” The hand on his thigh moves higher. “And you’re my favorite almost teenager. How about I show you why you’re my favorite.”
Peter thinks back to that day in the beginning of the school year. It’s April and he’s curled up on the floor of the tub, letting the too hot water burn his skin as he presses his cheek to the cool ceramic. His skin is raw from scrubbing too hard and his eyes are red rimmed and puffy. If I stay in the shower, the tears aren’t real. He thinks. There’s a soft knock at the door. “Peter, honey, Uncle Ben is working late and I’ve got the night shift.” May says. “Dinner’s in the oven okay?” He grunts in reply and May leaves, already running late for work. He finally picks himself up and turns off the shower. He feels wrung out and leans over the sink. Dirty. Used. Broken. It’s all he sees when he looks at himself in the mirror. He tears his gaze away from his reflection and gets ready for bed. He crawls under his covers and cries himself to sleep, hoping Skip’s phantom touch won’t haunt him in his dreams.
Ned Leeds transfers into Peter’s 8th grade class and they hit it off. They’ve got the same energy and interests and Aunt May and Uncle Ben are just so happy that Peter’s found a friend. It’s Ned that keeps Peter away from Skip and ultimately it is Ned who finally gets him to confess to May about the older boy. He broke down one day after Skip dropped him off at Ned’s house and when he calmed down enough to explain what had been happening, Ned called Aunt May immediately. Ned stays with Peter when May takes them back to the apartment and when Ben calls the police. Ned’s the one who hugs Peter as two officers arrest Skip and drive away. May and Ben cry over their nephew, apologizing and letting him know how much he is loved. Peter cries with them, trying to bury himself in their arms.
When he goes back to school, Ned is there to keep the mood light. He’s happy that nobody knows what happened to him. Together they gush over Star Wars and science and most of all, Iron Man. They read news articles and blogposts about the Mandarin and were so happy when Tony resurfaced from all of that. Peter and Ned spend days obsessing over the genius and over time, Peter feels like he can be himself again.
Midtown is probably the high school of Peter’s dreams. Accelerated classes, tons of electives and his best friend Ned. What’s not to love? His freshman year goes by relatively uneventful but when they take a trip to an Oscorp Laboratory in the spring, Peter can tell something is going to go wrong. And that has nothing to do with his new “sixth sense” from that radioactive spider.
It takes him a week to find something to do with these new powers. He figures it out when he and Ben are walking home from the store down the street. There’s a commotion in an alley and Peter wants to help so he moves towards the thugs, who are brandishing guns at a couple of helpless passers-by. Peter gets their attention and attempts to diffuse the situation. Ben, fearing for his nephew’s life, steps into the fray, trying to drag Peter to safety. Peter turns as Ben’s hand reaches his shoulder and he watches as two bullets pierce his Uncle’s chest. His eyes grow wide and the ringing in his ears drowns out the sound of the thugs running away. He cradles Ben’s body as the older man collapses and Peter can feel his eyes burning. His vision is becoming blurry and there’s blood everywhere. “Somebody help us!” he yells. He’s shaking and crying and trying to keep Ben awake. He can hear sirens in the distance. “Hang on, Uncle Ben. Help is on the way.” He says. “You just have to stay awake okay?” Peter keeps cycling through reassurances as he watches the blood seep out onto the asphalt. He feels Uncle Ben’s pulse slow and the grip on his hand loosen. By the time the ambulance gets to them, Peter’s clutching Ben to his chest and sobbing into his shoulder.
Peter sits on the roof of his apartment building wearing his homemade suit, his arms wrapped around his knees. He starts to sob and reflect on what he had almost done. Flashes of the thug’s face appear in his mind and he can still feel the blood on his hands from beating that man’s face. The man’s frantic pleas echoed in his head and he covers his ears to try and drown out the noises all around him. He had almost killed a man. He almost stooped that low. His breath comes in shuddering gasps as it starts to rain. Peter looks up to the sky and relishes in the feeling of the drops on his face. I can be better. He thinks. I’ll be better for him. For Uncle Ben. And with that Peter slips his mask back on and stands, his resolve strengthening. Then he’s swinging into the night.
Peter groaned as he tries to sit up. “You’re done.” Tony says through the suit. “But-“ “No, no, no. Stay down, kid.” There’s a sad tone in Tony’s voice and his gaze is unfocused. Peter is exhausted but he looks at Tony. “I’m sorry Mr. Stark. They got away.” Tony sighs. “Not your fault, Parker. Now let’s get you home before your Aunt May calls.” Then he’s whisked away on Tony’s jet. Rhodey is still unconscious but FRIDAY’s scans say that he’ll be okay. When they touch down in New York, Happy is there to drive him home. “Bye, Mr. Stark.” He says with a smile. “Thanks for everything and I hope Mr. Rhodes gets better soon.” And Tony looks up with a half-smile. “No problem, kid and… I hope so too.”
May is less than pleased with his fight excuse but what can she do. “You have to be more careful sweetie.” She chides. “I know, May, but I couldn’t just stand by. I had to help.” She smiles and runs her hands through his hair. “And that’s why you’re so good. Ben would be so proud of you.” Peter gives her a watery smile. “I hope so.”